Remnants of God Part Two: Triple Threat

Disclaimer: Don't own One Piece.

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"Ho, ho-hoo!"

"Ho, ho-ho-hoo!"

Niri, Azu, and Herman sweatdropped at the sight of the three, rather fat men as they danced around. These guys were strange to look at, and were acting even stranger.

Niri looked at Herman and pointed at them, "Check it out, guys...dango-men,"

The man with broken sunglasses stopped dancing and looked at them, smiling, "Ho, ho-hoo...that's not the first time I've been called that...,"

"Oh yeah?" Azu crossed his arms, "What else you been called...fatass?"

The man ignored him and began bouncing around again, "Ho, ho-hoo! My name is Satori of the Lost Forest!"

"I am Kotori!" one of the other two cried as he danced.

"I am Hotori!" the other one added, "Mess with Brother Satori, you mess with us all!"

"You guys got any clue as to where the Lost Forest is?"

"Doesn't seem to be marked on our map,"

"Someone pass me that tool right there?"

"There ya go, Azu,"

"Thanks,"

The three fat man stared as the Blue Sea dwellers seemed to be ignoring them completely. The red-shelled fish-like man was looking over a map with the young woman in a black duster while the man with red hair was going over the Dial engine in the back of the boat.

"OI! DON'T IGNORE US!" the three fat men shouted angrily.

Niri looked over her shoulder at the three of them, "So, these fatasses...are brothers, huh?" she looked at them briefly before smirking, "Yeah, I can see a big family resemblance...," she cracked.

Satori smiled, "Make jokes all you want, neither of you will survive! I am Satori, Priest of God Eneru! Ho, ho-hoo! I was beaten once before, but never again!"

"Priest of God Eneru?" Azu looked back at them, an engine tool in his hand, "You guys still serving that guy? Don't you know? He got his ass beat by Straw Hat Luffy...he's left Upper Yard and Skypeia altogether,"

The three brothers stared at them, very quiet..

"No, I don't think they knew that," Niri mused, "Well, now that you guys do know, do you really wanna try and do whatever you planned to do?"

The triplets began to bounce around again, this time, going around and around the ship.

"Ho, ho-hoo! We must do what we were told to do," Satori laughed, sticking his arm out, palm right in front of Niri's face, "Kill them all, brothers! IMPACT!"

Before Azu or Herman could do anything, Satori's glove gave off a large pressure burst and the next thing they knew, Niri practically did a backflip off the boat and fell towards the ground, blood trailing behind her.

"NIRI!" Herman leaned over the side, "HANG ON! I'M COMING!"

"I got her, you deal with those assholes!" Azu shouted, jumping off the boat.

The merman watched as Niri fell closer and closer to the ground, and was about to fall through a part of the Milky Road when Azu hit said road and caught Niri before she could hit the surface. Using the pair of skates he had put on before jumping off the boat, Azu sped down the road, "Hang on, Niri, I got ya, don't worry,"

Thank the Eight Gods I packed away some of those Dial Skates... Azu thought as he looked back at the boat, I'll get Niri to a safe place, then I'll come back, Herman, I swear, just hang on!

Herman watched as Azu sped away from the boat, then turned to the triplets, "You sonsofbitches," he raised his meaty hands, "You'll pay for hurting her,"

A loud honking sound made the four look down to see both Pingu and Sora were no longer sleeping, and the former was punching the air with his flippers, ready to fight.

"Ho, ho-hoo!" Satori pulled back his arm, "You think you can beat us?"

"You're damn right!" Herman ran at him and threw a hard punch, "ARAGOSTA BATTUTA!"

Satori smiled and dodged the incoming fist easily, "Too slow!"

What the?! Herman glared at him, "I won't miss this time!" he shouted, throwing another punch.

The Priest held up a hand, stopping Herman's fist cold.

"Thank you...," Satori sidestepped and pressed the same hand against Herman's chest, "IMPACT!"

-----

Shit, that fatass has an Impact Dial, like Austin! Azu gently laid Niri against the side of a large tree, It must suck to be on the receiving end of one of those...

He wiped the blood from Niri's face and looked over a huge root, eyes staring into the woods, "Herman can't last forever against those three...," he looked back at Niri, "Hate to leave ya, girl, but I got work to do,". Azu gave a slight nod to her, leapt over the root and started moving to the Milky Road.

"Hang on Herman...I'm coming!" he swore as he jumped onto the clouds and started to skate back the way he came, I've only been gone for a short time...please be okay, Herman!

He skated down the Milky Road for awhile, but when the boat came into his view, he came to a complete stop and stared. The boat was set aflame and a plume of smoke was rising into the air.

"HERMAN!" Azu looked around, "HERMAN, WHERE ARE YOU!?"

"Big Red Man dead,"

Azu spun around to see Hotori and Kotori standing behind him on their own skates. The drunken boxer scowled, "Dead? I doubt that...where is he?"

The two triplets held up their hands, large smiles on their faces.

"First, Satori used Impact," Kotori laughed, "Then I used Impact and Flavor-,"

"-with Flame and Axe!" Hotori cackled, "Two down, one to die!"

Azu raised his fists, "Bring it on, fatboys!"

Hotori smiled wider and held out his left hand, "AXE DIAL!"

The shipwright brought up his arms, but it was useless. Thin slices of air rushed into him, cutting deep into his body. He let out a yell as he fell backward right into the Milky Road and through it, falling to the ground.

"Ho, ho-hoo!" Kotori and Hotori jumped down after him and caught him, "Don't die on us yet, you're the only one to play with now!"

Azu glared at them as Hotori held onto his hair, "You bastards, leggo of my dreads!"

"Ho, ho-hoo! Kotori, catch!" Hotori tossed Azu as his brother.

"Got him, Hotori!" the fat twin waited until Azu was close enough, but instead of catching him, he kicked him rather hard back to his brother.

Satori watched as his two brothers kicked the Blue Sea dweller back and forth numerous times as he hopped on one foot, "Ho, ho-hoo! Kick, kick, kick!"

"Don't mind if I do!"

The fat Priest smiled and leaned to the side just as Niri's foot, her leg, and her whole body flew into the space he occupied seconds before, "Nice try," he murmured before holding out his hand, "IMPACT!"

Once again, Niri was launched into the air, and this time she hit a nearby tree hard, splintering the contact point. Satori laughed as Niri fell to the ground, more blood dribbling down her front, "Ho, ho-hoo! I saw that move coming, so it was easy for me to dodge!"

To his surprise, Niri picked herself up, blood running down the side of her face. She spit blood out of her mouth and held up her fists, "Alright, you wanna play rough, let's play rough, fat boy!"

"Ho, ho-hoo!" Satori flipped over onto one of his hands, looking at Niri upside-down, "You can try to hurt me, but you can't!"

"We'll see about that...," Niri started running over to him, but she didn't even get close because Azu suddenly flew right into her, knocking himself and her into a large tree root.

"Ho, ho-hooo!" Satori bounced as Kotori and Hotori joined him, sharing his smile, "Fun time already over?"

"Already over!" both brothers shouted at the same time, "He wasn't much fun!"

The three brothers watched as both Azu and Niri climbed to their feet, looking pretty sore. Azu had a decent set of bruises in addition to the blood shown on his body. Luckily, Niri wasn't in the same area as him in injuries. However, they were both in major trouble because these three weren't joking around with them, and it was looking grim for the two of them.

"HEY! ASSHOLES!"

"Huh?" the triplets looked up just in time to see Herman's feet coming at them. Kotori and Satori quickly dove to the side, but Hotori was unfortunate enough to receive Herman's powerful kick from above. The fat man was nailed in the face and was sent to the ground. The strengh of his kick sent the fat man rolling on the ground so hard, chunks of rock and dirt were displaced.

"Herman!" Azu grinned, "You're okay!"

Herman, whose shell was slightly cracked and charred. Immediately, Niri remembered how he looked back at Little Garden. The merman wiped his mouth as smoke rose from his burnt flesh, "Guys, watch out...," he pointed to Satori, "He's got Mantra, just like Austin, and all three of them use Dials!"

"We already figured the Dials!" Azu and Niri shouted.

Niri suddenly realized they were missing a few members, "Herman, where's Sora and Pingu?!"

"They're okay," Herman assured her, "Don't worry about them right now, we gotta worry about these jackasses!"

He's right... Azu looked carefully at the brothers as Hotori came back to the fight, looking very pissed as blood ran freely down his face, Fatass One and Two just have Dials but Fatass Number Three has both Mantra and at least an Impact Dial. With Mantra, he can predict movements and tell where people are. So...how does one beat one who can predict movements? The one fighting him would have to be random to beat him... Azu grinned, "That's it!"

"What, what's it?" Niri and Herman looked at him.

Azu cracked his neck and knuckles, "I got Satori. You two deal with the others,"

"Baka, you'll be killed!" Niri shouted, "We gotta do it head on, all together!"

"And leave the other two to attack us?" Azu unhooked the jar from his waist and juggled it from hand to hand, "I can handle this fatass," he looked at his nakama, "Trust me,"

-----

"Aisa, how far are we from the nearest Priest?" Gan Fall asked as Pierre flapped his wings.

"We'll be over him soon," Aisa yelled over the wind, "He has two others with him, and they both have voices that sound like his!"

Gan Fall frowned, "Must be Satori and his brothers. Seems like those fiends are too stubborn!"

"We need to hurry! I can hear Niri's and her friend's voices with them!"

"Damn them," Gan Fall looked down at the huge forest of Upper Yard, "They must be careful, Satori and his brothers are not to be underestimated!"

-----

"Ho, ho-hoo!" Hotori and Kotori danced around, arms wrapped around one another, "Which one is which, which one is which?" they sang as they danced in circles.

"These guys are pissing me off," Niri raised her fists, "Herman, I hope those lessons of yours come in handy here,"

"Just remember what I taught ya, and you should be fine," the lobsterman muttered.

The triplet brothers came to a stop and danced from foot to foot.

"Ho, ho-hoo! Which are which?"

Herman formed a claw on one hand, "That's it, your ass is mine!" he lunged for the one in front of him.

The triplet held out a hand, making Herman stop in his tracks.

Shit! Which one is this guy?!

"FLAME DIAL!"

A torrent of fire burst out of Hotori's glove and engulfed Herman's entire body. The large merman screamed as the flames scorched his body once more, but he held his ground, waiting for the attack to subside as he smelled his flesh sizzling.

"Axe Dial!"

Herman felt a sharp pain in his torso as Hotori's Axe Dial sliced into his still smoking flesh. The merman grit his teeth and cracked an eye to see the lard ass laughing his head off again.

"Ho, ho-hoo!" Hotori laughed, "Crispy crispy crisp-GACK!"

Herman's pincer claw was now pinching Hotori's fat throat. The merman was seething, his pupils small and his shoulders heaving up and down. He picked Hotori off the ground, the fat triplet's legs kicking back and forth.

"Hotori!" Kotori turned away from the recently Impacted Niri, "You bastard, let him go!"

"Oi, lardass!" Niri recovered from the Impact Dial attack and charged at him, "You're fighting me!"

Kotori turned and held out one of his hands, "Flavor Dial!"

Immediately, a foul, and yellow cloud poofed out of the Dial beneath Kotori's glove and enveloped the area around them. Niri gagged and held her throat, "What...what the hell is that?! Smells like the guys after every meal!"

"Ho, ho-hoo!" Kotori laughed, "I stored my farts in my Flavor Dial! How does it smell, Blue Sea dweller?"

"LIKE SHIT!" Niri's leg cut through the foul fog and her foot landed hard on the side of Kotori's face.

The triplet lost some teeth as Niri's roundhouse kicked collided with his face. Kotori spun through the air and landed in a heap against a nearby tree.

"One down and on the ground!" Niri pumped her arm, "Up yours, jackass!"

"Make that two!" Herman slugged Kotori so hard in his enormous stomach, the triplet's mouth fell wide open and blood flew out while his eyes rolled into the back of his head, "This is for before!" Herman tossed the triplet into the air and waited for him to descend before kicking him into the same tree as his brother, making a huge network of splintered cracks in the bark, "DON'T SCREW WITH US!"

"Yosh!" Niri held up her hand and the two friends gave high-fives, "Two outta three are down!" she turned to Azu, who was being assaulted numerous times by Satori's Impact Dial, "We gotta help him!"

Before they even got close to him though, Azu held up a hand, "STAY BACK! This is my fight!" he shouted, blood dripping onto the soil, "I'm the only one who can beat him!"

"Ho, ho-hoo!" Satori laughed, arm held outward, "Why do you lie? You keep saying you'll beat me, but everytime, I give you a taste of Impact!" he waved his gloved hand, "Amazed that you can still stand...,"

Azu spat the blood out and uncorked the saki jug for the first time in this fight, "I think I've used enough time screwing around with you. Time for you to get your ass kicked, just like your brothers!" he then started to chug down the alcohol inside his jug.

Satori watched as Azu chugged every drop of liquor and toss the jug over his shoulder, his face red. Azu held up his arms and staggered from side to side, "You think you so tough now, fatman? Let's see how you do against my Drunken Boxing!" he cried out in a slur.

The Priest of former God Eneru watched as Azu darted towards him. To his surprise, his Mantra couldn't pick up any of his movements, What the-!? Why can't I predict him?!

The very reason why Azu was unable to predict with help of Satori's Mantra was that Azu knew that while he was drunk, he didn't fight with a set technique in his mind. In his drunken boxing, he uses whatever momentum his body gives him to perform both defensive and offensive attacks. Having a kid with Mantra as nakama, especially one who got into scraps with him, made Azu realize he was the perfect opponent for this fatass Priest.

Both Herman and Niri watched as Azu let loose a set of punches, kicks, knee and elbow jabs into Satori's body. The Priest, now bloodied and bruised worse than before stumbled back as Azu approached him, ready for one last attack.

I can't lose! Not again!

Azu's leg swept itself underneath him, causing Satori to fall flat onto his stomach. Satori turned his head upward just in time to see Azu's elbow come crashing down onto him. Azu's nakama winced as a loud cracking sound filled the air when Azu's elbow connected with Satori's back. The Priest became still.

"YEAAAAAAH, BOY!" Azu stumbled around, glaring down at Satori's body, "That's what you get, jerk! You don't mess with me, or else you see Drunken Monkey fling his poo at you!"

Herman sweatdropped, "Not only did that not make sense, but that was disgusting...,"

Niri nodded in agreement, "I'll take care of him. You go find Pingu, Sora, and any salvageable stuff from the ship,"

The lobsterman glanced back at Azu, who was stomping angrily on Satori's back, bouncing up and down as he did so, "Good luck with that...,"

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Kilnorc: Okay, that fight's over with. I would like to say that even though I enjoyed seeing Satori's and his brother's fight in the anime, it was hard for me to do here since I usually use Austin when it comes to Dial fighting -shrugs- Think I did good anyway.

On the next chapter of Homeland...

DJ: What the hell is that sword made out of?!

Ohm: This is an Iron Cloud Sword, made with a Milky Dial in the hilt.

Dusty: This huge dog can fight on it's hind legs like people?!

Ohm: I'm a Sky Breeder. Holy is very loyal and a Prize Fighter. You have no hope of winning!

Remnants of God Part Three: Iron Heart

DJ: How the hell am I supposed to get close to him if he can see me coming?!