Zim marched down the street toward his base, covered in pink bruises, with Gir in tow. "Gir, why were you at Skool? You nearly blew our cover!" asked an irritated Zim, oblivious to the fact that Gir probably saved his identity. "Uhhhh, oh yeah! I had to tell you something!" Zim waited for Gir to continue, which he didn't. "Well?!" he prompted. "What was so important that you jeopardized the mission to tell me?!" "I... don't knooow, I forgot!" the robot chirped happily.
Zim growled audibly, but his expression softened slightly as his base rose on the horizon. His beautiful base, his home away from home, and a perfect example of a normal urban human dwelling, at least in Zim's mind. Truthfully, it's disguise was even more shoddy then his own, but no humans noticed, save for Dib and Gaz.
Zim opened the door and stepped inside, only to find himself sliding across the floor on his back, feet first straight into the wall.
"Oh yeeeaaahhh. Now I remember, I had to tell you we're out of dish soap!" Gir said as if nothing happened.
Zim popped his eye back into his head before stumbling to his feet, the soap burning his skin like most earth substances. "GIR! Clean this mess immediately!" "You can't make me! Okay!" Gir then began licking and sucking the floor clean.
As Zim rode down the toilet lift, the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" Gir said to no one. He opened the door, revealing a UPS guy with a box. "Special delivery for-" he stopped when he saw Gir, still in costume, with suds filling his mouth. "MAD DOG!! MAD DOG!!" he screamed as he dropped the package and ran away screaming.
"Finally! It's here!" Gir squealed joyfully as he dragged the package inside.
-
The taxi stopped outside a rundown apartment building. "Follow me," Bill said as he stepped out of the taxi.
Dib started to follow, his glasses somehow halved in an irritated expression, when the taxi driver called out, "Hey kid, where do you think you're going! You gotta pay the fare!"
Dib turned around to face him. "Ten bucks," the driver said. "Hey Bill," Dib called, "You gonna pay this guy?" No answer. Dib glanced over his shoulder and saw that Bill was already inside the building.
He turned back to the driver, suddenly realizing how big the guy was. "Uh, I'm broke," Dib said nervously. The driver's expression grew angry surprisingly fast. "You're not broke yet," he snarled as he got out of the taxi. Dib forced a nervous half smile as the driver cast a shadow on him.
-
Bill opened the door to his apartment and started walking towards some equipment, when Dib suddenly smashed through the window and fell face first on the floor.
"Good idea, taking an alternate entrance so our enemies won't know we're working together. I like the way you think Little Man," Bill said, completely ignoring Dib's new black eye.
Dib rubbed his eye through his glasses as he stood up, and his good eye re-assumed the irritated half-eye expression.
Bill began to type on a keyboard. Some graphs appeared on the monitor. "These are some strange electromagnetic readings I picked up from outer space," Bill told him.
Dib glanced at the screen, barely humoring Bill. Then his eyes widened in shock, excitement, fear, and disbelief all at once.
"Bill, where were these recorded from?!"
"Just off the orbit of Jupiter. I have the coordinates if you want them."
"Is there any other data? Radiation readings? Gravity distortion? Images of the area?"
"All that and more. Its all here." Bill held out a CD. Dib took it eagerly.
"I figure if we both analyze this data, we'll be able to find out what caused these readings. I have a theory regarding a space ghost, but I need a comprehensive analysis to prove it."
Dib was barely listening. "I'll let you know if I find something," he muttered as he stared at the disk, clutched in his pointed fingers.
-
Zim stepped off the lift and walked to the computer screen. Today was a special day for Zim. Today the second annual progress reports were sent to all invaders, which included a time 'till conquest estimate for all of them. He hadn't received the first year's report because a certain robot dumped mayonnaise in the circuitry the day it was to arrive.
Zim was prepared to bask in the glory of his incredibly low time estimate and laugh at the pathetically high estimates of the other invaders. He checked the computer for any received files and found what he was looking for. He opened the list of time estimates, which were listed as shortest first.
As he peered at the on screen list, he realized someone else had stolen his top most position:
Invader Vihar, time 'till conquest: 2 years, 11 months, and 3 weeks ago.
"He conquered his planet in one week?!" Zim cried in disbelief.
Zim scowled, searching for his name on the list. After scrolling down a bit he still couldn't find it. "Computer, find my name on the list." The list began to scroll by itself, and stopped at the bottom. The last name read:
Invader Zim, time 'till conquest: never.
"How can this be?! My name can't be on the bottom! The Control Brain who compiled this list must have been malfunctioning," Zim stated, unwilling to consider that he failed. "I must inform the Almighty Tallest of this mistake, so they can terminate the Control Brain responsible. Computer! Establish a connection with the Massive."
Tallests Red and Purple appeared on the screen. Red was wearing a soda drink hat and shoving nachos into his mouth, while Purple sucked down a slushee and waved a small flag reading "Go Lizardons!"
Red looked at the new screen showing Zim. "Ugh, make it quick Zim, we're watching the Enslaved Species Survival Challenge," said Red.
"Yeah, the last Vort contestant just got eaten by a spider beast!" Purple added.
"Forgive the interruption My Tallest, but I need to report an error in this years time 'till conquest estimates. My name was on the bottom of the list, surly my progress and skills have earned me a better position. I demand that the Control Brain responsible me terminated at once to prevent future errors."
Red sighed. "Very well," he said, trying to satisfy Zim so he'd leave them alone.
Red floated over to an important looking button and pressed it. "There. The Control Brain is dead. Happy now?"
"Yes, very much so. But what of the list?"
"Sorry Zim, once they're sent out, there's no changing them. But don't worry, we'll make sure it's right next year," Red said with as much patience as he could.
"Thank you My Tallest. Invader Zim signing off!" The screen went dead.
Red turned to Purple. "How come you never help get rid of Zim? You didn't say anything to him just now." Purple shrugged in response.
"Uh... e-excuse me M-My Tallest, but you j-just pressed the s-snack pod self-destruct button," one of the bridge crew said shakily.
"WHAT?!" Purple exploded. "How could you?!" He pointed an accusing claw at Red.
"I didn't know!" Red said defensively. "Why do we even have a snack pod self-destruct button?" he asked the bridge member.
"You had it installed in case someone broke the pods open again, so no one could take anymore snacks from us."
Red was now furious, and he decided to take it out on the closest person possible. "Launch him into space!" he said, pointing at the bridge member. The Irken's eyes widened as a large tube dropped down from the ceiling and sucked him up, then spit him out into space.
Purple was crying by now. "Why must the innocent suffer!!" he cried.
Red floated over to him and placed a claw on his shoulder. "I feel your pain buddy, but those snacks will live on, in our hearts."
"Really?"
"Really."
Another screen activated, showing a shadowed figure. "What do you want?" Purple snapped.
A/N: Thought I'd leave you guys with a bit of suspense with this one. What is on the disk that Dib is so interested in, and who contacted the Tallest, and why? The answers will be revealed on Monday.