Derek sighed happily and pressed his lips against the back of Meredith's neck, right above the center point of her shoulder blades, for the umpteenth time in the past half hour or so they had spent snuggled together on his couch, only the thin blanket that usually rested over the back of the couch and each other to keep them warm. He smiled as the edge of his lips brushed against the cool, thin chain hanging gently around her neck. She never took the necklace off. Meredith responded by tilting her head towards him, her neck craning as far as it could. He leaned in and kissed her cheek. "I love you so much," he whispered as she returned her head to face forward, and he laid his momentarily overtop.
"Mmm," she mumbled in response, pressing her check upwards against his. "I love you, too." She squeezed his hands evenly with each word.
He smiled, but his contentment with the situation faded as he felt her shiver in his arms. "You cold?" He questioned as he tightened his hold around her naked body, his limbs reaching out to wrap further around her, as if he could touch every square inch of skin at once if he tried.
"Getting there," she responded, but made no move to leave the comfortable confines of his arms. For the moment at least, the comfort of lying with him was outweighing the oncoming cold.
He smiled and pushed his face into the back of her head, breathing in the lavender scent he loved wafting from her hair. And for several more minutes he held her close, her gentle breathing matching his. Then she shivered again. He sighed and kissed the back of her head one more time before slowly disentangling his limbs from hers.
He sat up, bringing her with him and did his best to keep her covered in the small, thin blanket.
"I guess I'll need to invest in a warmer blanket for my office," he said, as he reached for his boxers and scrub pants. "And maybe some pillows."
She rolled her eyes. "What makes you think this is going to happen again?"
He raised an eyebrow at her. "Cause I know you can't resist me." He smirked as he expertly tied the draw string of his bottoms.
Meredith laughed, her eyes dancing as she shook her head at his antics, causing him to smile. After the many mini dramas that kept playing through their relationship, it was comforting that they could always fall back into the easy process of gentle banter. He tossed her the light blue scrubs that were strewn haphazardly across his floor, and then set to work pulling his top back on and adjusting the electronic communication equipment that sat along his waist; phone, beeper and sidekick needed to be on and aligned. Meredith dressed quickly, and smiled up at him as he turned to her and reached to even out the collar of her lab coat, and then made to smooth down her messy hair. Her fingers joined his and she sighed.
She turned a joking glare towards him. "Look what you did, Derek. Now everyone's going to know." Her fingers furiously dragged down the length of her dirty blonde strands as she struggled to untangle them.
Derek smirked, dropping his fingers to her waist. "I don't seem to remember you complaining at the time..."
She rolled her eyes and glared at him again, but she couldn't contain the smile pushing through her lips. "Whatever," she muttered, unable to come up with anything else to retort.
He leaned in and kissed her, smiling as her hands floated away from her hair and landed in his. "So," he stated when he pulled away and her hands drifted down from his hair to rest gently on his shoulders. "What are you up to this afternoon?"
"I'm scrubbing in with Dr. Hahn on a valve replacement."
He nodded. "Cardio, hmm? Not nearly as exciting as neuro, but I guess it'll have to do."
Meredith laughed. "Well, I have to take what I can get. I haven't been offered anything in neuro recently..."
Derek narrowed his eyes as he realized how long it had been since they had scrubbed in together. He made a mental note to request the services of his favourite resident on his next case. She had always demanded he treat her as if she was any other doctor, something that had only intensified since she had become a resident, and he wondered if, in his attempt to follow her appeals, he may be inadvertently keeping her out of his OR.
"Plus, Hahn kind of demanded I take this case. I think she's still doing whatever she can to keep Cristina out of cardio, even though Cristina's got Bailey on her side now." Meredith shrugged.
"What time do you need to leave?"
She glanced at her watch and sighed. "Soon. George was going to start prepping when he was done with the Chief. We're scheduled to begin in less than an hour. I should really go make sure everything is going well."
He nodded and leaned in for a quick kiss. "I'll miss you."
"Well, I still can't leave until I fix my hair." She mock glared at him.
He laughed. "You look beautiful."
She rolled her eyes. "I look like I have sex hair."
He smirked. "You do have sex hair. It's a good look for you. I think we should make it happen more often, or even make in a permanent thing..."
She snorted. "I'm sure you do." She dug her hand into her pocket, and with a triumphant, "aha," she pulled a hair tie out and set to work pulling her hair back into a low ponytail.
"You come prepared," he commented, his fingers brushing the wisps of her bangs that refused to be held back by the hair tie.
She smiled. "I do. I kind of have to with you around."
He snorted, but refrained from commenting. "What time do you think you'll be done this afternoon?"
She shrugged. "I hope by five. If I'm late, just go, and I'll meet you at the restaurant."
But he shook his head, his hands finding hers now that they were no longer occupied with her hair. "No, I'll wait for you."
"It's your last night with your family, Derek."
He narrowed his eyes and met her defiant ones. "Fine," he conceded. "But only if you're going to be really late. If it's just an hour or so, I'll wait."
"Fine," she relented, causing him to smile. Then she sighed. "Derek, I was...well...I thought that maybe..." She trailed off.
"What is it?" He questioned, ducking his head to meet her suddenly lowered eyes.
She sighed and allowed him to force eye contact again. "Look, I really don't want to ask you to do something you're not comfortable with, but earlier today I...and I just thought...I know things have been better, so maybe..." She scrunched up her face and he laughed.
"Meredith, I love you. And I'm normally pretty good at translating when you ramble, but I need a little more to go on here."
She met his eye and took a breath. "I'm going to ask you to do something. And if you don't want to, then that's fine. All I'm asking is for you to consider it."
He narrowed his eyes, suddenly anxious about her request.
000
Derek stepped out of the passenger seat of the luxury car, glancing at his watch as he did so. It was only a few minutes after seven, so they weren't that late. His family was almost certainly already inside, waiting. The Shepherd women had an annoyingly regular habit of being on time. And for some reason, he was nervous. Meredith's surgery had run into complications, and she was still scrubbed in at her scheduled leaving time of five. Derek had left the hospital and driven home to have a shower and get changed. They were going to a much nicer restaurant tonight, and needed to be a step or two above casual. He had dressed in dark grey slacks and a white button down, with a thin black sweater pulled over top. A quick glance at his watch confirmed there was no way Meredith would have time to get home to change and still show up at the restaurant at a decent time. So, after a few moments of indecision, he picked out what he hoped was an appropriate outfit for her.
Once he arrived back at the hospital, however, it was well after six, and she was still in surgery. He had left the change of clothes, his car keys and a short note in her cubby, hoping she would be off in time to meet them later. Then he had reluctantly called for a ride. It had taken Derek an hour or so of deliberation before he had realized the merit of Meredith's request and had decided to honour it. He just hadn't expected to have to deal with his 'favour' alone. He was apprehensive for some reason. But he was glad he had done it. And the restaurant hadn't had any problem changing the reservation from five to six.
"You sure you're okay with this, man?" Mark's voice called as they headed for the entrance of the restaurant.
Derek eyed his former best friend and current...something. "Yeah. I'm okay. Thanks again for swinging by the hospital."
"Not a problem," Mark responded, his voice oddly quiet as his fingers anxiously traced the buttons on his fall jacket. Apparently Derek wasn't the only one with reservations about that evening. In deciding to stop ignoring his feelings for his best friend's wife, Mark had effectively isolated himself from the family that had basically raised him. This would be his first meeting with them for some time. He had appeared shocked when Derek had asked him.
Derek hesitated several times before he finally approached the cafeteria table where Mark was sitting alone, a chart sprawled out in front of him as he scribbled down notes with one hand, and shovelled forkfuls of salad into his mouth with the other. He and Derek had been roommates for several years during college. They had developed the same healthy eating habits.
The cafeteria was quiet this time of day, and Derek had been unsurprised to find Mark here. He often spotted the plastic surgeon holed up at the table, his charts strewn across the top, while making afternoon coffee runs when he was either too busy or too lazy to go all the way down to the coffee cart in the main lobby.
"Hey," Derek greeted as he set his coffee down on the table and settled into the chair.
"Hey, man," Mark nodded, quickly masking the surprised expression on his face. He even went so far as to drop his pen down on the table, giving Derek his full attention. The two had been moving forward with the whole being best friend's again thing, but it was no secret to either that any progress was made on Derek's terms. And so far, almost all interaction between the two of them had occurred spontaneously during run-ins in the hall and such. Derek never approached him. So, if Derek wanted to talk, about anything, then Mark was there to listen. "How's your day going?"
Derek shrugged. "Good. You?" His question could wait a few moments as he tried to find a way to fall back into the comfortable conversation he and Mark had once been so good at.
Mark shrugged his broad shoulders. "Nothing exciting. My third facial construction of the week got cancelled. And then I spent two hours teaching an intern how to remove a mole."
Derek smirked. "Exciting," he commented, dryly.
Marked sighed."Comes with the territory. Plastics isn't all fun and games, you know."
"How late are you on?" Derek questioned, trying to keep his tone light, as if he didn't really care that much. The transition from the previous subject hadn't been quite as smooth as he had hoped, but it would have to do. This had once been so much easier. You free tonight? Wanna grab some drinks? What are your plans this weekend, I've got tickets... So much easier. Why was it so hard now?
Mark shook his head. "I don't really have much more to do here. Just have to finish my notes," he nodded down at the chart on the table. Why? He didn't ask it out loud, but Derek knew he was thinking it.
"Well, if you're free tonight," he began as nonchalant as possible. For some reason the question seemed easier if he pretended he didn't care. "As I'm sure you've heard, mom's in town.And Anna and Nat. We're having dinner at that new restaurant on the water." He paused, giving himself a last split second to back out if he needed it. "And you're invited if you want to come." His tone was a little strained, but the words came out easier than he had expected.
Mark's usually expressionless face had tightened. And he had nodded. "What time?" He had asked, his voice very quiet, with a hint of wavering.
"Seven."
"I'll be there."
Then there was an infinitely long period of silence between them that, in actually fact, likely only lasted a few short seconds. "Good." Derek nodded, and stood to leave.
"Derek," Mark called as he began to step away. Derek stopped and turned back. "Thank-you."
Derek had stared for several seconds before nodding, unable to respond out loud. Then he had nodded once again, after a moment of hesitation and turned to walk way.
They stepped out of the cool, autumn weather and into the upscale restaurant. The low lights and gentle music immediately gave away the ambience to be expected for the evening. The front lobby was highly decorated, from the intricately tiled floors and stitched throw rug to the highly set stuccoed ceiling. Derek glanced approvingly at quite a few breathtaking, framed paintings of the coastline. But, as he made his way closer to the desk, he caught sight of a very colourful painting. It contained what looked to be distorted stick figures, but may actually just be crossed brush strokes. Fluorescent colors raced across the canvas and back at all angles. Derek quirked an eyebrow at the artist's prominent signature on the bottom right corner. He didn't recognize the name, but expected the restaurant had paid a small fortune for it to display it so prominently in the front lobby. With one last shake of his head, Derek met Mark's eye. Mark gave him a look that said he thought even less of the 'piece of art' than Derek. It made Derek smile.
"We have a reservation under Shepherd," he told the waiter at the front desk.
"Absolutely, sir," the smartly dressed man in the tux responded, glancing down onto his leather bound reservation-seating book. "Half of your party have already been seated."
Derek nodded. "We have one more on her way," he added. "She'll hopefully be here within the hour."
"Not a problem, sir. We'll seat her when she arrives." The Maitre d' nodded curtly as he signalled for a waiter to lead them to their table.
"Thank-you," Derek responded as they were escorted through the main dinning hall and into the side room that overlooked the water. He held his breath as he spotted his family across the room, right by the window. He hadn't given them a heads up, and suddenly wondered what their reaction would be.
His mother looked up first, her gentle smile turning into something wider when she recognized the figure trailing behind him. Her eyes flicked back and forth from Derek to Mark and then back again. And he suddenly realized that she looked...proud. And she quickly stood to greet them.
"Derek," she whispered as she pulled her son in for a tight hug. "You brought Mark."
"Yeah," Derek responded, ignoring his sisters' reactions to Mark, as they stood to greet him, their voices high and surprised as they hugged the man who had once been a brother to them. The man they hadn't seen in over a year.
Instead of pulling away, or even speaking, Carol simply stared at him, her eyes piercing his until he just couldn't handle the intense, knowing gaze. He knew exactly what she was doing; what she wanted to hear. Derek glanced away for several seconds and shrugged. "It was time," he offered as his only explanation.
"I'm so proud of you," she whispered, her fingers running along the collar of his shirt as she pulled away from the embrace. And after one last, proud, smile at her son, Carol turned away to greet the man whom she had practically raised. The man who was practically a son to her.
"Mark, it's nice to see you," she greeted warmly as she opened her arms.
"You too, Carol," he responded, welcoming her hug as he wrapped his arms around his surrogate mother and hugged her tight, holding on for a moment or two longer than necessary.
"Where's Meredith?" Anna questioned, after she had greeted Mark.
"She was still in surgery when I left. Valve replacement. They ran into some problems."
She nodded to accept his answer. She was a surgeon too. She understood.
"So," Carol started as she released Mark and returned to her seat at the small rectangular table. She sat in the middle of the side facing the window, Mark to her left and Anna to her right. Derek sat across from her with Natalie to his left. "This seems like a very nice restaurant. Have you been here often?"
Derek shook his head. "Never, actually. It only opened about a month ago."
"A month? That should have been plenty of time." In New York, it had been expected that he had been to most new restaurants within the first few weeks of business. It had been almost a hobby for Addison to keep up with the new places to eat. And she had been very good at getting reservations.
He shrugged. "The hospital keeps us pretty busy." It had never even occurred to him to eat here before. Any time that he and Meredith had an evening off together to go out, they usually chose some place much more casual.
Carol nodded, and then turned to Mark. "And how are you liking Seattle?"
"Well, it's definitely much different from New York." Mark responded easily. "The city is much smaller, and traffic is nonexistent in comparison. And I'm sure the air is cleaner." He shrugged.
"How is it working for a hospital?" Anna asked. Mark had gone straight from his residency into a junior position in a private plastic surgery practice. And it hadn't taken the talented young surgeon long to step out on his own.
Mark sighed. "I'm still getting used to it. Apparently I'm not so good at the teaching thing," he glanced at Derek with a wry smile. "But overall, I think I will like it better than my practice. The patients are less stuck up and more interesting. And the staff is pretty good..."
Derek smirked. "The nurse's have formed a club against him."
Anna laughed. "Already?"
Mark glared at her.
"Yeah," Natalie added. "You've only been here, what, six months? It took at least a year during your residency."
Mark glared at her. "Yeah, well, I've obviously improved my tactics since then."
Derek laughed, glad the spotlight was off him for a change; and as he happily took part in the conversation happening around him, he realized how much he had missed the interaction. He missed talking with his family. And he missed his best friend; more than he had thought he had.
He still had a ways to go before letting Mark back into his life in a role he had held before, but he knew he was well on his way to forgiving him. Just like his family was well on their way to forgiving Derek for a year of almost no contact. Because that's what family does Derek sighed as he realized the true merit of his mother's words. Mark was family. No matter how much Derek had hated him. No matter how much Derek's stomach had twisted and his heart had tightened at the mere thought of Mark for the first months after he had moved to Seattle. No matter how much Mark had screwed up, he was family. And just like that, Derek realized just how lucky he was to have a family like he did. No matter how badly he had treated them, they would always be there for him. Practically disappearing for a year would be an insignificant memory for them in a short time. Derek smiled as he surveyed his family as they laughed together. He was definitely getting his life back on track.
000
It was closing in on nine when Meredith finally made her appearance. He looked up from the ends of his entree to spot her being led towards their table by a slightly disgruntled waiter. Apparently the restaurant wasn't as 'fine' with one member of the party showing up late as they had represented themselves. He smiled warmly at her, his eyes glancing down her body as he prided himself on his outfit choice; she looked good in her simple top, light jacket, medium skirt and...sneakers. Damn. He knew he had forgotten something.
"Here's your party, ma'am," the waiter spoke, his voice solidly cold and professional. "I'm afraid it's too late for ordering from the dinner menu."
"Oh, that's fine," Meredith spoke quickly. "I know I'm really late. I'm sorry..."
Derek rolled his eyes as his girlfriend tried to make up for the fact that she was causing any rift in the restaurant's schedule. Regardless of the situation, she always tried to smooth over any tension, and never seemed to feel she should be treated any differently. He wanted to retort, but his sister beat him to it.
"Yeah, Meredith," Anna spoke sarcastically, her eyes on the waiter. "Shame on you for spending your evening in surgery, saving a life."
The over dressed waiter at least had the decency to look sorry before he nodded to his guests and turned to walk away. Anna snorted.
"Nicely done, sweetie," Carol told her daughter as Derek stood to greet his girlfriend.
"Hey," he spoke quietly, leaning in to place a quick kiss on her cheek before pulling back her chair. "How's your patient?"
Meredith said a quick hello to the members of the table as she sat and smiled as he plopped himself down beside her. "It was touch and go for a while, but he was in recovery and stable when I left," she said, as a response to Derek's question, but loud enough to include the entire table.
"Good."
"Yeah," she nodded.
"Did you want to order something?" He asked. "Cause I'm sure we can convince them..."
She shook her head. "No, that's fine. You guys are all done. I'm not that hungry." She smiled around the table, her eyes pleading for him not to argue when they met his.
He sighed, knowing she must be starving. They had enjoyed a quick breakfast together early that morning, but he knew she hadn't gotten anything to eat for lunch, as they had spent her spare time 'celebrating' in his office. But he knew that as much as she was getting along well with his family, she was still anxious about making a positive impression. She would hate forcing everyone to wait for just her. And she would hate making a scene in front of his family. So, he decided to let it go. "Not that hungry, huh?" He asked lightly. "Well, I hope you have room for dessert, at least. We were just about to order." He smiled warmly at her and passed her the stand up dessert menu from the center of the table.
"Dessert, huh? I guess I can't say no to that." She smiled at him. Thank-you.
He reached over and squeezed her hand. No problem. I'll always have your back.
"How was dinner?" Meredith asked to the table as her eyes scanned the dessert menu with rapt interest. "Did I miss out?"
"The food was pretty good," Natalie offered.
"But the staff has no personality." Anna shrugged.
"Yeah, it's one we can safely scratch off the list," Derek said.
"Maybe not for Mark, though," Natalie cut in. "The waitress went all goo goo eyes for him."
Mark smirked and raised an eyebrow. "I gave her the patented McSteamy look."
Carol almost choked on her wine. "I'm sorry, what is a 'McSteamy' look?"
Mark shrugged. "You'll have to ask Grey, here," he jutted out his jaw in her direction. "She named it."
Across from him, Meredith sucked in a breath as she obviously tried not to laugh. "Thanks for that," she muttered. She glanced quickly and noncommittally at the three Shepherd women. "We have this thing...at the hospital, I mean. This thing, where we give people...and things...nicknames that start with Mc. I really don't know why. And I definitely didn't start it. It just...it was one of those first few weeks of internship, completely exhausted...things...that seemed funny at the time...and is now sort of a habit. A stupid, immature habit and...I didn't start it," she ended weakly. "And Mark was dubbed McSteamy."
Natalie laughed. "McNicknames? I like it. Does my brother have one?"
Derek shook his head. If there was one thing he didn't need his sister to know about, it was-
"Of course he does." Mark smirked. "And if I heard correctly, it actually started with him."
"What is it?" Anna asked, leaning forward. In fact, both of his sisters and even his mother looked aptly attentive.
"Don't do it, man." He pleaded.
Mark smirked, a gleam in his eye that Derek recognized all too well. "McDreamy."
Natalie snorted. "Oh, that's awesome."
"I can't wait to tell Nancy and Kath," Anna said, laughing.
"And the boys," Natalie stated. The boys was the Shepherd women's term for referring to the combined four sons in law. "Oh, Derek, they'll never let you live it down"
Derek glared at Mark. "Thanks for that."
Mark shrugged. "Sorry, man. You gotta do what you gotta do."
Derek rolled his eyes, but let it go. The evening had quickly begun to feel like old times. With one very important new addition, of course, he thought as he smiled over at his girlfriend. She was smiling comfortably as she watched, and even sometimes took place in, the conversation as it left McNicknames and moved on to whatever they felt like talking about. As the discussion took on a more heated note, with Mark and Natalie arguing about the exact happenings of a particular Thanksgiving incident many years before, Derek discreetly passed his uneaten bun over to his famished girlfriend.
She looked as if she may reject his offer, but instead took it with a small smile. "Thanks," she whispered as her lithe fingers began to tear small, bite size pieces that she swallowed quickly, all the while trying to convince the rest of the table she wasn't starving.
He smiled back at her kissed the side of her head before returning to the conversation at hand.
"I did not swap the cranberry sauce for strawberry jam." Natalie argued adamantly.
Derek smirked. Surprising to most, Mark was quite competent in the kitchen, and often took to the position of head chef during family holidays that required large spreads. His sudden neuroticism and attention to detail was a trait that left him wide open to sarcastic comments, jokes and small pranks. The kids, and even the adults, had taken to sneaking into the kitchen and hiding his utensils, or moving ingredients from counter to counter. Mark would laugh and roll his eyes and take it all in stride. However, one year, the Shepherd family had banded together in a full scale, no holds barred, practical joke. The swapping of the cranberry sauce had only been the tip of the ice burg. And even though it had been a decade, Mark still had yet to suspect Derek's involvement.
"Oh, please," Mark retorted. "The cranberry sauce...the napkins...the wine..."
Derek squeezed Meredith's hand and smiled as a warm feeling came over him. The two halves of his life were coming together nicely. They fit better then Derek had dared to dream. A quick glance at his girlfriend confirmed she was content and relaxed with his family. And his mother and sisters seemed to really like her. They had been concerned when she had not shown up in time to order dinner, and had asked him about ordering something for her, but knowing she may never get out of surgery that evening Derek had declined. Anna seemed ecstatic to find another surgery buff, after losing Derek, Mark and Addison in one blow, she was happy to find someone new to talk slicing and stitching with. And every time the conversation turned to medicine, Anna was directing questions and stories towards Meredith.
Natalie was definitely warming up to her. Being older, but still so close in age made her and Derek very close growing up, while still retaining a sense of protectiveness. She seemed a little cautious of Meredith's presence, but not against it. Natalie had been quite close to Addison before their separation, as she was closest in age. But after his wife had jumped in to bed with his best friend, his older sister had shut down all communication with the red head. Every time Derek had talked to Natalie in the past year, she had practically cursed Addison's name. He was pretty sure it would simply take time for Natalie to trust Meredith and her relationship with her brother.
And then there was his mother. Derek was sure Carol liked Meredith and was accepting their relationship. He had expected some quiet comments referring to their age and career level differences, but they had never come. Since their first, awkward dinner, Carol had been nothing but positive comments and questions, and smiles to his girlfriend. And every time she looked at Derek, she looked happy, but there was something behind her eyes that he just couldn't read. It definitely wasn't a bad thing, but it was something he had never experienced being focussed on him before. And only time would tell what it was.
000
"Well, this is the place," Derek announced as he turned his key and swung open the door to his and Meredith's apartment, almost two hours after dinner. They had spent as long as they could on dessert and coffee, ignoring the glaring looks from their waiter. When they finally decided to pay their bill and bid an eternal farewell to the overly uptight restaurant, it had been decided that Derek and Meredith lead everyone back to their new apartment for the family's inspection. Even Mark had tagged along to see their new digs.
"It's a little... how should I put this?" Natalie spoke as she filed past her brother. "Empty."
Derek snorted. "Yeah, well, we've only been here for a week. Really haven't had a lot of time to shop. We've got the essential covered; bed, couch, food. We were going to get a TV this week, but didn't get around to it." They had decided to do their shopping trips on small scales. This week it had been planned to buy a television and stand. Next week they were supposed to look for dining room and kitchen tables and chairs. It was hard to eat when the only place in your home to sit down was two isolated couches. But a few late nights at the hospital coupled with the arrival of Derek's family meant they had not made it out that week. Their buying schedule would be forced back a week.
"You didn't have anything to bring with you?" Anna questioned as she wandered by the couches to gaze out through the window at the dark night.
"It looks like a beautiful view in the daylight," Carol spoke as she joined her daughter by the window.
Derek nodded to his mother and then turned to his sister and rolled his eyes. "Do you want to go back to the whole, Derek lived in a trailer, thing? Not a lot of space equals not a lot of stuff."
"That's right," she said and turned a questioning look towards Meredith.
"Oh, well, I left everything at my house," Meredith said. "It was mostly my mother's stuff. I didn't want the constant reminder, and my old roommate's are making use, so it's win-win." She shrugged.
"A reminder of what?" Natalie asked cautiously. She knew some things with her brother's girlfriend were off the table to discuss, but she wasn't driving, and a few extra drinks and having spent so much time with the woman over the past few days had opened her up.
"Nat," Derek spoke softly, about to warn her away from the topic, but Meredith surprised him.
"My mother and I...well, we didn't have a great relationship. I was kind of a..." she sighed. "I was like a constant disappointment to her."
"Oh, sweetie," Carol spoke gently, her voice full of nothing but compassion. "I'm sure that's not true."
Meredith offered her a sad smile, but shook her head. "No, it is true. And it took a lot for me to realize her opinion shouldn't mean that much..." She trailed off and met Derek's eyes briefly, and he was overcome with just how much he loved the brave woman in front of him. Saying it took a lot to get over her mothers comments was putting it lightly. A lot had very nearly killed her. And him. He hated the hold Ellis Grey had over her daughter. And he hated himself for not immediately recognizing it for what it was. "Anyway, it's hard sometimes to not think of things the way she would have."
Derek felt his heart swell as she openly communicated with his family. A few months ago she barely communicated that much with him. It gave him a concrete sense of hope for the future. Not only was she okay with being around his family, but she was becoming comfortable interacting with them beyond a superficial level.
"How could any mother think their child was a disappointment when they have a medical degree?" Anna joked.
Meredith smiled wryly. "You'd have no idea," she said lightly.
Carol shook her head. "No, we wouldn't, Meredith," she responded. "And, as a mother, I can honestly tell you from the time spent getting to know you this week, there's no reason I can see that could possibly make you a disappointment."
Derek stood back, slightly in awe of the situation he suddenly found himself in as he watched Meredith visibly react to his mother's words. "Thank-you," she spoke softly, her voice uncharacteristically quiet and wobbly. It was all Derek could do to keep himself from striding forward and wrapping her into his arms. Anna stepped forward, and appeared to be on the verge of adding something to the reassuring conversation when the front door swung open behind Derek; hard. The door bounced off the stopper on the back wall and reverberated as it swung part way back.
Derek jumped and spun to spot his girlfriend's best friend. His girlfriend's very angry best friend, standing beside the still vibrating door, seething.
"Cristina," he greeted, his eyes darting from the younger surgeon to his silent, shocked family and back.
"Cristina," Meredith's voice rushed past him as she hurried to her friend. "What's wrong?" She asked quickly, her voice concerned.
"You." Cristina responded harshly, her hand coming up to point at Meredith. "You lied to me. Izzy showed me her letter and you...I asked everyone. Everyone, Meredith. And you're all who's left."
Derek saw Meredith tense as he realized at the same time exactly what it was Cristina was upset about. Before she had left his office that afternoon, Meredith had told him about her predicament with her best friend, and had him make a promise. Well, actually she had made him make two promises, though unrelated.
Promise one: Don't tell anyone, especially Cristina, about my ranking first.
Promise two: Do not, under any circumstance, tell your mother we had sex in your office.
"Cristina, I'm sorry..."
Cristina shook her head, cutting off Meredith protests. "You let me run around like an idiot, asking everyone. And you knew the whole time. You didn't say anything. Seriously, Meredith, how could you?" And before waiting for an answer, Cristina turned and disappeared from their doorway as quickly as she had appeared.
"Cristina!" Meredith called out. She turned back towards Derek and his family, wide eyed. "I, uh, I'm sorry. I'll be right back." And suddenly Meredith had disappeared out the door after Cristina.
Derek blinked and slowly turned back towards his shell-shocked family.
"Who was that?" Carol asked quietly.
"Uh, that was Cristina, Meredith's best friend," Derek offered.
"And is she always like that?"
Mark laughed. "Pretty much."
Derek rolled his eyes. "She's not usually that bad. She's a little short with people, but they have a surprisingly functional friendship."
"So, what was that about?"
"Yeah, what was that about?" Mark asked, his interest sufficiently peaked.
Derek sighed and eyed the door. Assuming Meredith could catch her before she reached her bike, it would likely take some time before Meredith could make her best friend calm down and see reason. He turned back to his family, uncertain. He didn't want to tell them, and have Meredith be upset, though the original purpose of not telling anyone was so Cristina wouldn't find out...so maybe he was off the hook now?
"Wait, was this about the intern exam?" Mark asked, and when Derek nodded, Mark turned to explain to the three Shepherd women. "They released the rankings for the intern exams this week. From what I hear Yang's been all over the hospital trying to figure out who beat her. To call her competitive would be putting it mildly. Apparently second place wasn't good enough. She even asked me if I get a list of the rankings a department head, and then stalked me until I swore I didn't have any access to that information."
"Okay," Natalie said, nodding. "But then, why is she mad at Meredith?"
Mark shook his head. "Don't know."
And suddenly there were four sets of questioning eyes focussed on Derek. He sighed and sent a silent prayer that Meredith wouldn't be upset; it wasn't as if they wouldn't figure it out quickly if they thought about it. "Because it was Meredith," he told them. "She beat Cristina, and didn't know how to tell her."
"Grey won? That's great," Mark stated.
"That's wonderful," Carol agreed. "But shouldn't her friend be happy for her?"
Derek sighed, wondering where his peaceful evening had gone wrong. "Cristina is just...well, winning is very important to her, and she comes by it honestly. She's very hard working and very knowledgeable. She's very strained with her family, and I get the impression she's never had any close friends before coming to Grace, and she lost her fiancé last month..."
"Oh, that's horrible, was he in an accident?" Carol asked.
Derek shook his head. "No, not like that. He left her at the altar...after forcing her into a huge wedding she didn't want." He sighed. "Don't judge her on this, really. She's a good person, and a good friend to Meredith. She's always been there for her."
There was silence as Carol, Anna and Natalie obviously tried to come up with something somewhat positive to say.
"Well, it's awesome that Meredith ranked first," Anna finally said, with a smile. "God, I remember writing that thing. It was horrible. I think I ranked fourth or fifth."
Derek smiled, proud of his girlfriend, and wishing she were here to hear his family's praise.
Mark nodded. "That's very impressive, especially after the week she had, with Susan passing away and all." Derek winced at the name, but knew it was too late to stop the inevitable explanation.
"Who was Susan?" Anna asked quickly.
"Her step-mom-" Derek tried to answer, but was cut off.
"Her step-mom?" Natalie asked, her eyes flicking back and forth between Mark and Derek. "I though it was her mom who died?"
Mark spoke before Derek could, and didn't notice his former, and hopefully future, best friend's subtle signals to steer clear of Meredith's life. "No, her mom died a while before her step-mom. And the exam was on the same day as Susan's funeral."
Derek shook his head, still trying to signal Mark to change topics, but his family was involved, solidly holding Mark's attention elsewhere.
"That's horrible!" Carol exclaimed. "She lost her stepmother and her mother?"
Mark nodded. "Her mom died a little more than a month before Susan, the same day that Meredith d-"
"Mark!" Derek said quickly, stopping him before he said something Meredith really didn't need to deal with explaining to his family. A short explanation and a request not to talk about it was enough to keep people off your back about the death of a family member. But, even with the best intentions, there was always a hint of wondering if they knew you were in an accident, or had been in as serious a condition as Meredith had been. And his family knew medicine, so the questions would be there. And Meredith definitely did not need that right now. Neither did Derek.
Mark spun his head around, his expression somewhat shocked as he nodded. Sorry, man. Didn't realize. I'm shutting up now.
"The same day Meredith what?" Natalie asked, her suspicious eyes glancing from Mark to Derek as she realized her surrogate brother was now done talking.
"Nothing," Derek answered quickly. "And please don't ask her about it," he pleaded. "It wasn't a good day."
"But-"
Derek shook his head. "Please, Nat. Just let it go. I'm sure you'll hear the story one day, but for now just let it go. It's not something we're ready to talk about yet." He felt his throat tighten at the mere memory of that fateful day. The day he had almost lost her forever. And even though they had talked it through, and he understood everything that had happened, the feeling of utter hopelessness still flooded him as he remembered finding her limp body in the cold, dark water. Carrying her blue form to the ambulance in a trance and performing CPR as if his life depended on it. Turns out, it had. He needed her. And he had horribly clear memories of being forced out of the trauma room. Not being allowed to help. Waiting for hours without news. The inability to transform the flat line that belonged to Ellis Grey into anything resembling a pulse. Sobbing as he called time of death and collapsing onto the floor. Ignoring the flutter of activity around him as the nurses unhooked and covered the still, lifeless body. The feeling of complete hopelessness as he sat, the only thing holding him up being the solid wall behind him. The utter grief at the realization he hadn't been able to save either one of them.
He let out a deep, shuddery breath and looked up to meet Mark's gaze.
"Everything worked out okay, man," Mark offered quietly.
Derek nodded as the hopeless, grief stricken memories dissipated. "Yeah." He flicked his eyes towards his concerned family. "Please. Please, just let it go."
Carol nodded at her son, her face taking on a concerned expression. "Okay, Derek. We'll let it go. Right, girls?"
Anna and Natalie nodded. "Of course," Natalie added.
"Thank-you," he said with relief, hoping they would steer clear of the topic when Meredith returned.
AN: Well, it wasn't as long as the last chapter, but still up there. Wow am I ever getting wordy. Lol Sorry that the updates are getting long again, i'ts just taking me more time to proof these longer chapters. I'd like to send out a huge thank-you to everyone who had reviewed so far, your feedback is awesome and helps me make decisions about where this story line is going. I will answer your wonderful reviews soon. Oh, and to everyone who is also reading Where You Belong, I am so sorry about the complete lack of updates, but I need to put that story on temporary hold for a few weeks to get this story winding down. I was having trouble keeping the storylines straight and separate, but will get back to it as soon as I can. Thanks for reading, as always.