A/N: I don't like school.
So, the idea for this chapter came from a random daydream I had while eating breakfast. I don't really know why I thought of it, but I did and I thought it would be a fun, if not odd, idea to incorporate.
Reviews:
Deliahgirl, yeah, that had more action in it than I originally intended. But I had to end the chapter somehow, and I figured Gaara would be most likely to kill most if the characters were ever really put up to that challenge.
Xellzx, I am so sorry if that offended you in any way! It was the best description I could really come up with without too much detail. I feel really awkward right now. –sweat drop-
Kaidathorn, I'm glad your friend liked this story too. Mm, Gaara's not exactly a character I'm comfortable with writing, especially in character, so he's going to be a little…off.
Oh my gosh, mastersword123456, I had totally forgotten the bet until I read the review. I'll see what I can do about putting the Akatsuki in, but that probably won't be for a couple chapters.
Thank you for all your support!
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KunaiKunoichi has signed in
CloudedShadows: Hey Tenten. What's up?
Byakugangirl: Hi Tenten-san.
Sasuke4evr: Hey Tenten.
KunaiKunoichi: Hey you guys. Any of you catch the news this morning?
CloudedShadows: Yeah, I did. How troublesome…
Sasuke4evr: I can't believe we didn't clean that up…
Byakugangirl: I can't believe they were all under control of the koala.
KunaiKunoichi: I can't believe this was all because of a koala.
Sasuke4evr: Yeah, me either.
Windmaster has signed in
KunaiKunoichi: Hey Temari. What's up?
Windmaster: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
Byakugangirl: What's wrong?
Windmaster: Gaara's officially out of the rehab I put him in.
Sasuke4evr: That's bad? Now Kankuro and Gaara won't have fights anymore.
Windmaster: Oh ho, you'd think that, wouldn't you?
CloudedShadows: …That's scary sounding.
Windmaster: Gaara's set on getting revenge on Kankuro for being mean and what not during his rehab.
KunaiKunoichi: …Good luck with that.
Windmaster: Shoot, Tenten. Can I come over for a bit?
KunaiKunoichi: Uh, sure? Why?
Windmaster: Because I hear screams of mercy from the other room.
Byakugangirl: Shouldn't you stop them?
Windmaster: I rather value my life, thanks.
Byakugangirl: Oh, right…
Windmaster: I'll be over in a little bit, Tenten.
KunaiKunoichi: Okay, see you then.
Windmaster: See you. Bye, Shikamaru and Hinata.
Byakugangirl: Bye.
CloudedShadows: See you.
Windmaster has signed out
KunaiKunoicih: I'd better get off, if Temari is coming over. See you, guys.
Byakugangirl: Bye, Tenten-san.
CloudedShadows: See you.
KunaiKunoichi has signed out
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Tenten wheeled around in her chair and hopped up, scarfing down the rest of her breakfast. As she headed to the kitchen, the news continued to prattle on about the dead shinobi in the park. She no longer paid attention to the identities of those murdered-those the ANBU were able to figure out anyway. Gaara had marred over half of them beyond recognition. A shiver involuntarily crept down her spine; how lucky she was that she was not a victim of Mr. Defoebrimm.
The knock on the door caught her attention as she placed her plate in the sink. "Coming!" She called. "You're really early, Temari," she greeted as she opened the door.
"The faster I got away from them, the better," the Sand-nin grumbled, stepping into Tenten's apartment.
"Is it really that bad?" The weapons mistress raised a brow in doubt.
"Let's just say that Kankuro might be the one going through rehab this time, and not by me," Temari shuddered, sitting down on the couch. Tenten blanched, another shiver creeping through her body.
"That's…" The kunoichi struggled for the right word.
"Yeah. Which is why I didn't stay. Hope you don't mind the sudden drop-in," Temari started.
"No, no, it's fine. I didn't have any plans today anyway," Tenten reassured, mentally apologizing to Neji for skipping out on their session.
"Then how about we get together with everyone else?" The Sand kunoichi asked with a wicked gleam in her eyes. "I've got some fun plans we could do."
Tenten's stomach turned. "Y'know…I think we're all still a bit tired from last night's…events," she stammered, trying to subtly say "no". It didn't work.
"Oh come on. It won't be that tiring. Besides, we can't be the only ones really bored," Temari begged. Despite hearing the "that" in the second sentence, Tenten sighed and shrugged. Temari clapped her hands.
"I'll log on and tell everyone," Tenten gave in, sliding into her chair.
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KunaiKunoichi has signed in
Byakugangirl: You're back, Tenten-san?
CloudedShadows: I thought Temari was going over.
KunaiKunoichi: She's here. But we-well, she-was wondering if we could all get together and…do something. At my place, apparently.
Byakugangirl: Like what?
KunaiKunoichi: I don't exactly know.
CloudedShadows: That scares me.
KunaiKunoichi: Yeah, me too.
Byakugangirl: Um, well, if she really wants to do it…I guess I will.
CloudedShadows: Wow, I didn't know you were that brave, Hinata.
Byakugangirl: U-uh, well…
KunaiKunoichi: Thanks Hinata-san. How about you, Shikamaru?
CloudedShadows: How troublesome. Sure, why not.
KunaiKunoichi: Thanks. Invite everyone else, will you?
CloudedShadows: Alright, alright.
Byakugangirl: I just sent the invite to Kiba-kun and Shino-kun…and Naruto-kun, too.
CloudedShadows: I guess I get the rest?
KunaiKunoichi: Okay, thanks guys. Temari says thanks too. I'll see you all in a little bit.
Byakugangirl: Bye Tenten-san.
CloudedShadows: See you.
KunaiKunoichi has signed out
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"Done and done," Tenten said, spinning to face the Sand kunoichi.
"Thank you, Tenten!" Temari leapt from the bed and glomped the weapons mistress.
"Okay, so what exactly are we doing?" She asked cautiously as she pried herself from Temari's arms.
"It's a secret," Temari replied, zipping her lips and winking.
Tenten stared at her for a minute. "I doubt this will go well, but what the hell."
A knock on the door interrupted them. "Wow, I thought I was the fastest one," Temari commented in a sour tone.
"Keep in mind that they live in this village," Tenten answered as she opened the door.
Hinata, Kiba, Shino, Shikamaru and Chouji came piling in, with an Ino attached onto a certain shinobi's arms.
"Hey everyone," the two kunoichis greeted in unison. A chorus of greetings came flooding back as Tenten shut the door, only to have someone knock a second later.
Five minutes later, everyone was cramped into Tenten's small living room. "Why are we doing this in my apartment again?" The weapons mistress whispered to Temari.
"Relax, we won't be here for long," Temari answered lightly.
"Oh boy…" Tenten muttered, taking a spot on the floor by Hinata.
"Care to explain why we're all here?" Kiba asked, already bored.
"Who wants to see the world's largest turnip?" Temari asked suddenly. The room fell immediately silent as everyone tried to digest the question.
"The…what?" Naruto finally asked, utterly confused like everyone else.
"World's largest turnip. Gaara's birthday is coming up and while he was in rehab, he mentioned that he wanted to see it," Temari explained, shrugging.
"Why a turnip?" Sakura finally asked.
Temari shrugged. "Why not? Anyways, who's in?"
"Sure…?" Everyone agreed slowly.
"Excellent. I'll be by to pick you guys up in…4 hours. Is that enough time for you?" Temari looked at the clock on the wall.
"4 hours?!" Tenten burst out incredulously.
"Do you need 4 and a half?" Temari asked innocently.
"Well, no, but shouldn't you have mentioned this to us yesterday or something?"
"I guess, but it totally slipped my mind!" Temari laughed. Everyone else sweat dropped. "So is it cool with everyone?"
A chorus of "whatever" and "sure" rose and fell, much to the Sand-nin's delight.
"Okay, 4 hours, then. I'll be back to pick you all up then," Temari confirmed.
"Wait, where's the world's largest turnip?" Hinata piped up.
"Some place called 'Alaska', I think," Sakura said uncertainly.
"Yeah, I think that's it," Temari nodded. "I'll check it out in a minute," she said, eyes darting from Tenten to the computer. The weapons mistress shrugged and nodded.
"Where's Alaska?" Shikamaru asked, less bored-sounding than usual.
"Don't really know. Again, I'll figure that out in a minute."
"Will there be food?" Chouji wanted to know, shaking his empty chips bag.
"Most likely. Any more questions?" Temari looked around at the shaking heads. "Good. Again, 4 hours. Be here and be ready."
Everyone rose to leave and as soon as the door shut, Tenten whirled around to look at Temari. "Here? Again?"
"Why not?" Temari shrugged, looking up 'Alaska' on the Internet.
"Did you not see the trouble a lot of people had breathing?"
"It's just a meeting spot! We'll be out in like five minutes anyways!"
Tenten groaned and rubbed her temples. Why oh why did she have to agree to Temari's plan?
"Oh, I got it! Alaska's in a place called…America. And it's really cold there, apparently," Temari added, scrolling through the text.
"How far is it?"
"…Really far."
"How far?"
"Well, that all depends on how fast everyone's okay with traveling."
Tenten groaned again, sinking down on her bed. "Why…?" she muttered.
"Don't worry, I can cover that much distance without even having to go all out!" Temari said cheerfully.
"That's what worries me," Tenten commented, refusing to look at the estimated distance on the computer.
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"Oh, they're here," Temari said excitedly, hearing the knocks and voices outside the door.
"…" Tenten moved reluctantly to let the shinobis in. In they filed and again there was a claustrophobic atmosphere.
"Okay everyone! Thanks for coming! I just messaged Gaara and Kankuro; I'm going to pick them up and we'll be on our way!" Temari smiled, looking around.
"I think we should wait outside for you," Tenten suggested, trying to free herself from the mob.
Everyone agreed and followed the Sand kunoichi out the door. Tenten brought up the rear and shut the door behind them, sighing in relief that nothing had been broken.
"Be right back!" Temari waved when she was outside, pulling out her fan. With a gust of wind, she took off.
"So…what now?" Sakura asked uncertainly, looking around.
"I dunno…anyone have any suggestions to pass the time?" Tenten asked. She was met by silence and sighed. "Okay then…how about we do a little kunai freeze tag?"
Everyone stared warily as the weapons mistress pulled out a dozen kunai but eventually gave in, grabbing their own.
With Tenten leading the way, the shinobi made their way over to the training grounds by the mistress's apartment.
"Okay, so we'll split up into teams. Our regular squads will do. The aim of the game is to be the last person or team unfrozen. If you're hit with a kunai, you're frozen. Can't do anything. Teammates can unfreeze you by carrying off the field piggy back style. If they're hit, then you both stay like in the carrying position. Okay?" Tenten explained as they reached the grounds.
"Sure…?" Everyone hesitated, not sure about playing anymore.
"How in the world do you know this game?" Sakura asked cautiously.
"Gai-sensei plays with us a lot, to build accuracy, strength, teamwork and speed," the mistress answered nonchalantly, drawing in boundaries with her feet. "Okay, ready? Get with your teams and go to different corners of the field. Lee, give the signal."
"GO!" Lee yelled as soon as everyone was in position. The field buzzed with the sound of flying kunais, swears, screams and the movements of the shinobi.
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"Hey guys, we're…back…" Temari's greeting trailed off as the three Sand-nin looked around. "What the hell…?"
There were statues of people in awkward positions spotting the training grounds as they looked around. The only ones moving were Tenten, Lee and Neji.
"Just a game we were playing to pass the time," Tenten shrugged. "Okay, Temari's here. You can unfreeze now."
With a sigh, everyone dropped to the ground. Temari shook her head. "Let's go to Alaska!"
Groaning, everyone picked themselves up and headed towards the Sand kunoichi.
"Okay, everyone ready to go?" Temari asked.
"Wait, wait, how are we gonna all fit?" Kiba asked, eyeing the size of the fan.
"Oh, don't worry about that. I've got it all handled," the kunoichi replied, smirking. Everyone began to develop a bad feeling.
(A/N: Okay, for the sake of not making this chapter freakishly long or making you guys wait forever, I'm going to skip most of their trip there. Writer's block would've totally killed this anyway.)
"Okay, I think we're almost there!" Temari called from her spot on the fan. Gaara and Kankuro sat behind her, clinging on for dear life. She looked below. "How are you guys holding up?"
Temari, in order to escort them all to Alaska, had tied a basket about ten feet below her fan, where all the Konoha-nin was crammed now. The basket was big enough to hold them all and allow them no moving space, save for turning their heads. In other words, if someone farted, they would all pass out.
"I think Hinata-chan's going to be sick!" Sakura called back, rubbing the said Hyuuga's back.
"Naruto's not looking too good either," Tenten added, glancing over at the green faced boy.
"I swear, if you puke, Naruto-!" Kiba started.
"I kill him." Sasuke interrupted, earning a glare from the Inuzuka.
"B-bas-Urg!" Naruto suddenly twisted and puked over the edge, causing the basket to swing dangerously.
"Watch it down there!" Temari yelled from above.
"Yeah, my puppet strings can only take so much!" Kankuro added.
"How troublesome," Shikamaru muttered, staring out at the quickly passing clouds.
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Meanwhile…
"Mommy, what's that?" The little girl dragged her feet across the wooden chips to stop the swing and pointed at the sky.
"I don't know, honey," the mother answered absently from the bench a few yards away, not looking up from her book.
"Mommy, when birds poop, what color is it?"
"It's white, honey."
"Are you sure, Mommy?"
"What's with all the ridiculous questions?" The mom finally looked up, exasperated.
As soon as she looked, a blob of multi-colored goop splattered five feet in front of her. The mom screamed and jumped as the unknown substance splattered over her new white dress.
"Mommy, does bird poop normally smell? Like Ramen?" The little girl asked, safe from the spray on the swings.
"IS THIS PUNISHMENT FOR NOT PAYING MY DEBT?!" The mother cried to the sky.
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"Okay, we're here…I think," Temari called as she landed first the basket then her fan. Kankuro clambered off, falling into the snow and whispering "Sweet land."
Tenten attempted to get out of the basket, but her legs gave way and instead toppled the entire thing and all its contents into the cold blanketed ground.
"The turnip's…that way," Temari called nonchalantly, closing her fan.
"Can we…get a few seconds…to recover?" Ino called out breathlessly, fighting the urge to puke.
"No! Let us not waste our youth and go forward to see this giant turnip!" Lee cried out, jumping up from the snow.
"Lee, how do you have so much energy?" Tenten whispered, shivering from the cold.
"My youthfulness goes to no waste, dear Tenten-san! Yosh!" The spandex-clad ninja bounced to and fro in the snow, tiring out even Neji just from watching. (And me from imagining as I write. ;;)
Five minutes later, when everyone had finished puking and/or recovered, the shinobi set out on foot to visit the nearest city, where they could find the largest turnip.
An hour later, they still had not found it. "Are you sure you landed in the right place, Temari?" Kankuro questioned, breathing heavily from all the walking.
"That's what it said on the Internet," Temari stated, knitting her eyebrows together. She stared at the papers in front of her.
"Why don't we ask someone…like her?" Chouji pointed at the nearest coming woman.
"Good idea, Chouji. Excuse me, but do you know where the world's largest turnip is?" Ino called out, waving.
The woman stopped and tilted her head to the side before calling something back.
"…Huh?" Ino shook her head and walked closer. "Could you repeat that?"
The woman shook her head and said something quickly. "I can't understand you!" Ino wailed. The woman threw up her hands and stormed away, muttering something under her breath.
"Oh crap, we're in America now. They don't speak Japanese," Sakura realized in horror.
"Shit," Temari muttered. "Anyone know American?"
"English," Tenten corrected. Temari shot a dark look at the kunoichi.
No one answered, only looked around. "Crap, we're screwed," Kankuro mumbled.
"All that for nothing?" Naruto whined, sitting down in the snow.
Neji and Sasuke shook their heads, saying nothing else.
"Don't give up hope, my youthful friends! We shall find a way out of this, or I will run 1000 laps around Konoha! And if I cannot do that, 2000 sit-ups! And-!"
"SHUT UP, LEE!" Kiba cut in, chucking a snowball. It hit the shinobi square in the face, muffling him…for a few seconds.
"I accept your challenge!" Lee declared, fire raging in his eyes. He scooped up the snow and threw it. Kiba laughed and ducked-for the snow to hit Naruto, which made the Inuzuka laugh even harder.
"Damn you!" The Kyuubi-boy called, hurling his own snowball, which hit Shikamaru.
Pretty soon, an all-out snowball fight had escalated, with everyone involved, even Neji, Sasuke and Gaara. Everyone except Shino, that is.
Tenten, out of breath and flushed with excitement, left the battlefield and sat down next to him. "Aren't you going to join, Shino?"
"…" The Aburame offered. "What about the turnip?"
The kunoichi sighed. "Well, we can't really find it, considering we don't English, so we might as well enjoy ourselves here."
"…There's a person coming," Shino stated.
"Hm? Oh yeah, but we can't talk to him. He won't understand us," Tenten blew a lock of brown hair out of her face.
"Hn." The shinobi stood up and approached the coming man.
"Shino?" Tenten called and got up after him. "Shino, he can't understand us!" She stopped short, gaping at the scene in front of her eyes.
As Shino turned around and the man left, he raised an eyebrow at the weapons mistress. "What?"
"Shino, you can speak English?" Tenten stammered in disbelief.
He shrugged. "Yeah, why?"
"Why didn't you help us out earlier?"
"I was reviewing what to say in my head."
"Oh god. Did you find out where it was?"
"Yeah, we'll need to walk, but we're close."
Tenten shook her head and called for the others, relaying the message and the scenario. Energized from the snowball fight, the group set off in earnest to see the world's largest turnip.
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"…Wow."
"That's a big turnip."
The group stood at the base of the giant vegetable, necks crooked back to measure the height. Other tourists wandered around, taking pictures and buying souvenirs.
"So…now what?" Sakura asked, looking away from the turnip. An awkward silence fell over them.
"Um, I don't really know," Temari scratched the back of her head sheepishly.
"…We go home, I guess," Shikamaru said, a bored expression on his face.
"…Alright," the group agreed, trudging away from the turnip. Once they reached where they had landed, they got in their seats and flew off for the most anti-climatic ending ever.
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A/N: Yeah, the ending's…yeah. Sorry for the huge delay. Read and review?
I'll work on Chapter 9 when I can…soon as I come up with an idea. Haha.