Danse Russe

Chapter 5

There's a tiny dancer in my bed

Sirius Black slumped back in his chair gazing up through lowered lashes over the bobbing heads of younger students that filled the common to the squishy armchair Marlene was curled up in. "Lily is completely pissed about it," James Potter told him running a hand through his hair lazily. Sirius simply nodded in response.

"Well, of course, she's pissed," muttered Remus Lupin, dropping to the sofa. "You've had her spying on the girl for over a month for Sirius without an explanation. Did you really think she was going to take it well when she found out who she was spying for without the why?" Rolling his eyes Remus roughly ran a hand over his face. "Honestly, I can't believe you two asked her to spy on Marley in the first place."

Blowing out his cheeks in a loud irritated sigh Sirius sunk a bit lower in his chair, trying to get a better view of the girl reading in the chair across the room. "It's not like we asked her to read her diary or something, Moony. I just thought someone should keep an eye on her," he grumbled.

His attention piqued by the arrival of his friends Peter Pettigrew looked up over his Charms book. "Why do we care about Marlene anyway?" he asked. Sirius shot him a glare while Remus stuttered for a suitable answer.

"Why wouldn't we, Wormtail?" James questioned wrinkling his brow into a frown. Peter accepted the answer with a shrug and James turned the conversation elsewhere.

As the topic drifted to Quidditch Sirius adjusted his position again giving him a clear view of Marlene. She was curled up in the scarlet armchair, a giant ancient looking text balanced carefully between the arm of the chair and her leg, her chin resting in one hand while the other idly jotted down notes occasionally. Dorcas Meadows was lying in the floor beneath her asking questions or commenting on something when the silence stretched on for too long.

Sirius chuckled quietly as he watched her eyes try to flutter closed on her and she shook her head forcing herself to stay awake. He was quite frankly in awe of her. She had done exactly what she had said she would do: continue with her day and not provide Avery with the satisfaction of affecting her. Sure, there were signs of stress and fatigue, but only if you were looking closely. Sirius just happened to have been watching her that closely all day.

From the moment she shoved her shaking hands in her pockets and trotted down the staircase and out the portrait hole he had been watching her. Watching with a hint of a smirk as she stopped on the steps just outside the entrance to the castle and forged a note from Professor Darling on one of the stolen scraps of his stationary excusing her for her tardiness. Watching with barely bridled rage when Snape call her a mud-blood in the hall on her way to lunch until of course, she backhanded him and quickly followed that with a burning hex. Watching her easily deflect any hex or curse Benjy Fenwick sent her way in Defense, in a sort of bemused wonder. And now, watching her fight off sleep with a fierce determination Sirius was sure he could never muster.

When her eyes tried to close again Sirius stood fingering a small chocolate in his pocket. James gazed up at him with a questioning glance and Sirius shook his head slightly. "Where—" Peter started to ask but James cut him off gaining his attention with a well placed remark. Sirius smiled slightly he had expected James to be upset that he refused to tell him about Marlene, but when the time came for James to ask, he hadn't. Just gave him one of those slaps on the back with a shrug of a smile.

Casually striding across the room he stood behind Marlene's chair his hands shoved deeply into his pockets, the fingers of his left still toying with the chocolate in its depths. Peering over the top of her curly hair he studied the odd figures covering her notes. "Does that actually mean anything?" he asked his dark brows wrinkling as he gestured at the hieroglyphics on the parchment.

Marlene started at the sound of his voice. Her eyes wide and her breathing erratic, she quickly turned to face him. "Shit, you scared me," she told him, forcing a smile.

"I noticed," he answered simply leaning over the back of the chair and grabbing her book before it plopped on the floor. "So, you understand this gibberish then?" he queried offering her the tome.

"Yeah," she mumbled taking the book from him and smiling uneasily. Sirius shrugged and moved to sit on the arm of her chair.

Dorcas Meadows gave him and odd look and he merely raised an eyebrow, silently telling her to mind her own business. She took the hint slowly gathering her things and finding a new person to study with. Sirius had always been like that: quietly commanding, able to obtain whatever he wanted with a simple look or word. Marlene gazed at her questioningly as she left and Dorcas mumbled something about needing to ask Mary MacDonald something.

Pulling out one of the chocolates in his right pocket Sirius opened it. "So, what's this mean then?" he asked pointing out a phrase in her book before popping the chocolate in his mouth. Marlene found herself entranced by the way the sweet was drawn into his mouth, right passed those absurdly full lips and annoyingly straight teeth.

"Oh, er," she muttered when she realized she had been staring and turned to the book. Lack of sleep, that's all it is. I'm just tired, she told herself vehemently. There was no way she has just wished she was a piece of chocolate.

"Well, that's just basic instruction. Nothing really interesting." Flipping through the book she found a new page with a picture of a stone tablet baring marks similar to those Sirius had found in her notes. "This is the interesting stuff. This is a photograph of one of the tablets found in Aeaea. It's believed to have belonged to Circe. Of course, there is no proof of that, but what had been translated has caused many…" her voice trailed of as he rolled another chocolate across his lips before slipping it into his mouth.

"Circe… she's the one that turned sailors into pigs, right?" he asked.

"Mmhmm," Marlene answered flipping the book back to the original page and returning to her studying.

Her quietness befuddled him. She was never quiet; at any given chance, she would prattle on endlessly. And yet, she always seemed to fall into silence around him.

Sirius chuckled quietly leaning over and whispering into her ear. "Do I make you nervous, McKinnon?" he asked huskily.

Jerking her head back to face him she found herself nose to nose with him, staring directly into startling fathomless grey eyes. "No," she retorted defiantly. "You just… confuse me, I suppose."

With a shrug Sirius sat back, digging in his left pocket and offering her the chocolate that was held within. "Hmm. Don't birds usually try to figure out the things that confuse them? Not avoid them."

"I didn't realize you considered me a bird, Mr. Black," Marlene responded easily, placing the chocolate in her mouth. "And I am not avoiding you."

"You're not?" he asked smirking slightly as her eyes drooped further and she shook her head.

The moment she had popped the sweet in her mouth fatigue and tiredness washed over her overwhelming her to the point that she could barely hold her eyes open any longer. "You bastard," she murmured weakly sinking lower into the chair, attempting to glare at him through sleep heavy lids. "You've…" her voice faded out completely as her eyes fell closed and she slumped asleep in the chair.

"Drugged you," Sirius finished her statement. "Yes, well, you see, you were awfully tired and you just wouldn't go to sleep. And, McKinnon despite the fact that you say differently, you've gone through hell day and you need to sleep," he informed her sleeping form quietly as he went about picking up her books and notes and stowing them in her bag. Gently lifting Marlene up he nestled her head on his shoulder, wrapping her legs around his waist. With a huff he hefted her heavy bag onto his other shoulder and tightened his grip on her before trudging up the stairs, shooting silencing glares at anyone who looked his way.

Though, what he was doing boarded the line of kidnap Sirius didn't think of it that way. He was simply doing the girl a favor. He had let her have her way earlier that day— against his better judgment. But he would not allow her to continue down this path of self-destruction. If she didn't sleep soon, he would end up looking after her for the rest of her decidedly short life. Something he definitely didn't want to do.

Honestly, he didn't even want to be caring for her now, but some dreaded sort of… duty had come over him and he did not have a choice. Stupid girl, he thought in irritation. She was still screwing with his head despite the fact that she claimed to just fine.

Dropping her bag on the floor near his bed with a dull thump he laid Marlene's limp body on his bed. It was really beginning to seem like she was spending more time in it than he was lately. He tugged off her boots and tossed them in the floor before sitting down beside her.

It was just after eleven, and though he normally wouldn't ever go to sleep before three on a Friday night he decided that it was probably the best idea. It was the easiest way to keep an eye on her.

Ruffling Marlene's hair he stood and grabbed his pajamas before heading off to the shower. Fifteen minutes later, he strode back into the room clad in nothing but a pair of red and gold plaid sleep pants.

He returned to his bed to find Marlene curled up at the top of the bed her baggy shirt and pants twisted around her. Frowning, he carefully rolled her to her back, untangling her shirt from around her waist and attempting to straighten out her trousers.

Well, he didn't want to end up tangled up in Marlene McKinnon's clothes, so he supposed they would have to go. Shuffling around in his trunk for a few moments he pulled out a tiny red baby doll negligee. It had been a gag gift for Lily, but James hadn't allowed Sirius to give it to her at Christmas. Glancing from the negligee in his hands to the sleeping Marlene in his bed he shrugged. It would probably be too big for her, but it would do.

With a flick of his wand he locked the door and stood near the edge of his bed, dropping the gown beside Marlene. Easily undoing the button of her pants, he slipped them off her hips to find bright green knickers with tiny bees buzzing across the fabric. He snorted. Why did it surprise him? He should have expected her to have cartoons on her underwear.

Tossing the pants in his chair he turned his attention to her absurdly tall socks. They were practically thigh-highs, but not nearly as attractive as ones Sirius was used to seeing. No, these reminded him of something a child would wear— dizzyingly checked in greens and blues.

As the socks joined the pants in his chair Sirius smiled faintly and the little pink elephants painted on Marlene's toes. He gently ran his finger across the glossy black and pink surface of her toenail. Damn, he thought, her feet are small.

Bringing his gaze up from her feet to the rest of her, Sirius sighed. Merlin, all of her is small. He placed her foot back down onto the bed, his fingers lightly grazing across her arch as he removed it. Smirking as her muscles twitched he told himself to remember she was ticklish. Though, he had no idea why he would ever need such a trivial piece of information about her.

Removing her shirt and putting the negligee on her was a bit more complicated, but Marlene slept on despite his not so quiet cursing and many failed attempts to get her lifeless limbs to do what he wanted them to. Blowing his hair out of his eyes he lay Marlene back on the pillows and brushed her hair out of her eyes. His hand lingered on her cheek and he gazed at her appraisingly.

She wasn't beautiful, not even pretty, but there was something attractive about her, he thought. He supposed he would call her "cute," like a puppy, or a little girl. That's what she was: a little girl. Despite the fact that she was eighteen and a woman by most standards, she was still just a little girl. How could she be more than that? She surely wasn't bigger than a twelve-year-old. She even had the rosy freckled cheeks and big eyes of a child.

He traced her bottom lip with his thumb. Her lips, though, they didn't belong to a child. No, she possessed the kind of mouth that wanted to be kissed, that begged to be kissed. It surprised him that he never noticed before. Cerise in color, full and pouting, and the way the bottom one had stayed slightly swollen and glossy all day because she kept chewing on it in nervous habit. Merlin, he was tempted to kiss her even now.

Marlene nuzzled against his hand in her sleep turning and humming a little sigh. A smile tugged at the corners of Sirius' mouth. He was really quite fond of that sound.

Whispering a shrinking charm he watched the scarlet gown shrink until hugged her small breasts and fitted the rest of her snuggly. A chuckle rumbled in his chest as he gazed at her as she lay there nestled in his pillows in a gown that would decidedly be called sexy had it been on anyone other woman. Marlene just looked out of place, like a little girl in her mother's favorite dress and heels— adorable, innocent, and sweet. Tracing the gentle slope of her nose with a finger, Sirius smiled softly. Maybe he was becoming rather fond of her. She had surely become more than just a twittering jay with too many freckles and not enough ass.

--

Sirius awoke abruptly to a sharp stinging pain across his left cheek. "You fucking bastard! How dare you?" Marlene whispered angrily as he opened his eyes. Her cheeks were flushed with rage and her hazel eyes flashing dangerously.

"What?" he growled sleepily, sitting up and running a hand through his dark hair.

"You drugged me!" Marlene hissed. "You drugged me, and then–" Taking a deep breath, she tried vainly to calm herself. "–then dressed me like a whore!" Her bottom lip trembled as she sniffed and let her curls fall in front of her eyes blocking his view of the tears pooling in them. "Who the fuck gave you the right–"

Sirius snaked his arm around her waist, pulling her back into the bed and Marlene released a tiny squeak of fear. "First of all," he said, tugging the bed curtains closed and placing a silencing charm on them. "You don't look like a whore. It's something you are not capable of. Secondly, I only drugged you because you weren't going to sleep on your own." As she opened her mouth to make a retort, and he placed a silencing finger over her lips. "And lastly, you gave me the right the day you stumbled up here to cry in my bed."

A loud crack rang in Sirius' ears as Marlene small hand collided with his cheek again sending that same stinging pain across his flesh. "How dare you," she said in a low hiss of a voice. "I told you yesterday that I am perfectly able to take care of myself. My well-being is none of your concern. And if merely crying in front of someone gives her the right to drug you, how would you like you death served to you? In pumpkin juice or tea?"

His piercing grey eyes suddenly darkened with a seething anger and he grabbed her arm as she attempted to leave. Pinning her to the bed and gripping her arms so tightly the soft flesh bruised, he growled, "Was that a threat, McKinnon?"

Gazing up at him hatefully, Marlene shook her head. "No, it's merely a reminder that you aren't as infallible as you paint yourself to be. Your little friends are not the only ones who know of your weaknesses, Black. You seem to have forgotten that quite easily."

"Bitch," he hissed darkly releasing her and leaving the bed.

"Prick!" Marlene yelled back before storming out of the room, silently cursing herself as tears streamed down her cheeks. She hadn't meant to bring that up.

--

"You fucking idiot!" Remus Lupin shouted, throwing his book bag at Sirius as he entered the seventh year's boy dormitory.

"What?" Sirius yelped, hurriedly scurrying out of the way as the heavy bag flew toward him.

"Marley!" Remus yelled, dropping down on his bed.

"I didn't do anything to her," Sirius hissed out angrily at the sound of her name. "She's the one that threatened to kill me."

"Sirius," Remus groaned looking at his oblivious friend. He really didn't understand what he had done was wrong. "You fucking drugged her. How is that nothing?"

"She needed the sleep. I did her a favor," Sirius replied hotly. "She slapped me. Twice! Just because I helped her. And then she threatened to kill me."

Sighing loudly Remus muttered, "Don't be stupid, Padfoot. You know that wasn't what she was doing."

"No," Sirius growled, "she was threatening to tell the whole bloody school that you're a werewolf and I am a fucking idiot."

"Sirius," Remus said quietly. "She was frightened. You scared her. She was simply using any tactic she could to escape. Marlene would never—"

"I know!" Sirius shouted cutting him off. "I know that. Okay? I know. I just… Goddamn it!"

With a heavy sigh Remus dropped his head into his hands. "What the hell were you thinking? Drugging her and bringing her up here."

"You watched me!" Sirius retorted, glaring at his friend. "You watched me take her up here. You knew what I was doing. Why didn't you tell me it was stupid then?"

"I didn't know you were drugging her! I just thought… hell I don't know. You two have been confusing as hell since January," Remus mumbled, tugging at his hair, not meeting Sirius' glare.

"Well, has she said anything?" Sirius asked, dropping to his bed across from Remus'.

Laughing rather coolly Remus looked up. "No, this is the first time she has spoken to me. I failed my last Arithmancy quiz because she refused to study with me."

"Like that's my fault," Sirius huffed.

"Of course, it's your fault. She was mad at me because of you."

"I didn't do anything," Sirius said defiantly.

"You drugged here and put her in your bed!" Remus screeched indignantly.

Leaning back in his bed, Sirius glanced out the window, his chest suddenly heavy with something that was most decidedly not guilt.

Gazing up at Sirius with soulful eyes, Remus murmured, "Sirius, honestly, think about her for a second. How do you think she felt waking up dressed like that in your bed with no recollection of how she got there?"

Sirius' dark grey eyes flicked back to Remus. Shit, he was an idiot. "I know. I am a fucking idiot," he mumbled moodily. Stupid Moony. He was always right.

--

Blood spattered up into Sirius Black's handsome face as his fist connected with Conroy Avery's face once again. He had lost his wand at some point during the scuffle and decided his hands worked just as well. Maybe even better. He could feel that sick twisted part of him, that part that surely came from his mother, enjoying the way Avery's bones cracked under the force of his blows, the way he could feel the fight, the life, slowly draining out of the worthless scum, who dared call himself a man.

"Padfoot!" someone yelled and Sirius stopped mid-punch and glanced up to find the Head Boy staring wide-eyed at him. "What the bloody hell are you doing?"

Sirius just shook his head and punched Avery again and again. "You are going to kill him!" James Potter exclaimed fisting Sirius' robes in his hands and trying to tug him off Avery. "You can't just–" James cut off as Sirius spit in Avery's blood soaked face before stepping away and letting Sirius finish whatever it was he was doing.

"You fucking bastard. You come near her again and I will fucking kill you. No, if you as much as look in her direction, I will kill you," Sirius growled. Crawling off the bloody mass that was Conroy Avery Sirius fisted the bloodstained locks of Avery's hair in his hand and yanked him off the ground. He slammed up against the wall and held Avery in place with one hand wrapped around his throat. "My wand, James," he muttered darkly. James Summoned Sirius' long elder wand and placed it in his out-stretched hand.

"Legilimens," Sirius murmured pointing the wand directly between Avery's eyes.

With a rush of color he was sent spiraling through Avery's memories, flash after flash of scenes flitting before him. Avery getting his first broom…Avery in detention… Avery in the Great Hall… Avery at Christmas… and then finally Avery with her. Sirius focused on that memory and Avery started to fight against him.

'No,' Sirius demanded angrily and Avery stopped struggling.

McKinnon was kneeling before him, her cheeks glistening with tears, her sparkling hazel eyes fogged over in defeat.

Another flash of memory and Avery was there, his hand stifling her scream, his wand under her chin, dragging her toward a bed.

She was screaming, screaming so loudly, and yet Sirius couldn't hear the sound.

Avery was on her, slamming himself into her as she screamed, as she cried, as she scratched and clawed at him.

McKinnon was staring confusedly at Avery, just staring, not blinking.

She was vomiting outside the Greenhouses.

She was on the Quidditch Pitch, the Bludger was hurling toward her. She was speaking rapidly into the microphone. She was watching James score. The iron ball hit her, sinking into her stomach. Her hazel eyes were wide with pain. And Avery grinned.

Sirius stepped back stowing his wand in his pocket, blinking away the image. "You will rot in hell. I will make sure of it," he hissed, slamming his fist into Avery's face once more.

"Padfoot?" James said softly, watching the bloody man slide down the wall.

"It's not my business to tell, Prongs. Suffice it to say, he hasn't got what he deserved," Sirius growled kicking the unconscious boy and storming off down the hall.

Perhaps, she could forgive him now. Forgive him for being such a controlling, heartless bastard.

--

Marlene felt his presence the moment he entered. The feeling of dread, the sickening feeling of guilt in her stomach, accompanied with a ridiculous sense of safety, of security.

"Remus," he growled as he stepped up to his friend's table in the library.

Of all the places, she had hoped to get away from him here. It had been almost a month of them endlessly avoiding each other and it was so painfully obvious. It had never been that way before, but now, he was everywhere and she couldn't even bring herself to meet his eye. She felt so incredibly guilty. He had only been trying to help and she had hurt him. She knew she had. She had said it because it would. Closing her eyes, she focused her thoughts elsewhere as the two fell into a hushed and hurried conversation at the table across from her.

When their whispered words ended, she opened her eyes. He was right in front of her leaning against the table, his hands held out while Remus inspected the injuries covering them. "What did you do to yourself, Black?" she asked in shock, not thinking about anything more than the blood spattered across his robes, his swollen knuckles, covered with deep gashes as if they had been split open.

"Nothing of your concern, McKinnon," he snapped at her, running a hand through his hair in frustration and she fell silent.

"Sirius, stop," Remus said. "You'll make it harder to heal." Shaking her head to clear her thoughts Marlene glanced back down at her Charms essay. "Damn it, I'm going to go get something to clean this with from the tower," Remus mumbled before gazing up into Sirius' blood spattered face. "Stay here," he demanded.

"No, Moony," Sirius said sarcastically, "I am going to go running around the castle like this." Remus shot him a glare before leaving him alone.

Marlene slowly began to pick up her things placing them in her bag. She didn't want to be alone with him. She didn't want to be near him period. It could lead to so many things, so many dangerous things.

"Where are you going?" he asked rather softly, his rage slowly ebbing away as he slumped into a chair. He shouldn't have snapped at her, he had scared her, he didn't mean to do that.

Her eyes flicked to his. "And that's of your concern because…?" she asked softly.

"You're a bitch, you know that, right?" he said lightly.

"Yes, I believe you've already informed me of that," she retorted, tossing her bag over her shoulder. He watched her hand protectively hover over her abdomen for moment before a sharp pain flashed through her eyes and it fell to her side.

"McKinnon," he called as she turned to leave. "We going to talk about it? Or are we going to keep dancing around it?"

Her chin quivered for a moment and she bit her bottom lip, but she refused to look at him. "What do you want me to say, Black?" she asked wrapping her arms around herself. "That I am sorry? That it was a horrible thing for me to bring up. That I only did it because you frightened me. Would anything really make a difference?"

"Do you ever find it funny that the person in the right is usually the one that carries the guilt?" he asked her back, slowly walking toward her and her shoulders relaxed just a fraction.

"What are you saying, Black? That I have nothing to apologize for?" she sniffe, turning around to face him. Tears trailed down her freckled cheeks and she jumped, slightly startled to find him standing directly in front of her.

Cupping her face in his bloody, broken hands Sirius gently brushed away her tears with his thumbs. "Yeah, that's what I am saying, McKinnon."

"I am sorry," she sniffed. "I wouldn't ever… I just…"

With a silent, ironic sort of laugh he said, "Don't apologize, McKinnon. If you apologize then I will have to apologize, and not only is that something I don't like to do, I'm really not good at it."

Marlene smiled faintly placing her left hand over his. Biting down his wince, Sirius watched her curiously as she kissed his palm. "Then, I'm not sorry," she whispered. "But still, I wouldn't… I love Remus, you know, and I would never–"

"Good," he murmured cutting her off by tilting her head up and capturing her lips in a soft kiss. It was so chaste and so innocent and yet, Sirius found himself trapped in it, entangled in the endless emotions it sent spiraling through every last one of his nerves.

Carefully stepping away from him Marlene shook her head. "Please don't," she said faintly, staring at her shoes.

"Right," Sirius said with a half grin smoothing down her hair and kissing the top of her head. "You should go. You probably have things to do," he murmured, watching her adjust her bag on her shoulder.

Marlene nodded chewing on her lip. "You know, Black, you really aren't as bad at apologizing as you think," she told him smiling slightly before she turned and slowly walked out of the library.

Sirius smirked, watching the way her hips swayed in her little girl sashay as she left. If only he could get all women to accept kisses as apologies…

Endnotes:

1) Thank you for reading.