Danse Russe
Chapter 10
Quietly while you sleep
"Oh." That's all she had to say.
"Oh." Like the answer to everything could be found in that one simple little word. Was it even a real word? Sirius didn't know.
"Oh." Just "oh" and she kissed the palm of his hand before drifting into peaceful slumber. What did it mean? "Oh?"
Sirius propped himself up on an elbow and gazed down at her while she slept. Her right arm curled under her head, the left bent to meet his, their fingers intertwined. "Oh," he whispered, tucking her hair behind her ear. There was a path of little hickeys down the side of her neck, leading to a ring of teeth marks already turning into a deep bruise. Finger shaped bruises marred the soft flesh of her arm and her perfect little lips —the lips he was so fond of— were bloodied. His red and gold quilt covered the rest of her and Sirius found himself thankful whatever else he had done to her was hidden from view.
"Oh." It meant he was a stupid bloody bastard. But he had known that, hadn't he?
A sob caught in his throat. Of course, he had known that. It was why he was running, why he tried to scare her away. 'The stupid little bitch,' he thought angrily. He had told her to leave. She didn't listen and look at what he'd done. It was just as he suspected. He was nothing more than a Black hiding out in Gryffindor. He was no better than his mother, his father, or his brother. He was just like them. And Marlene, little innocent Marlene proved it. She had just been trying to help and look at what he'd done to her.
She was bruised, broken and sullied with him. He had hurt her, bruised her, raped her. Hadn't he?
'Then, hurt me,' her voice sang in his mind. And damn it all, she had placed herself in that position to help him because she trusted him. She didn't think him capable. 'But I am!' he wanted to shout.
He might as well be branded, belong to someone else. He surely wasn't a Marauder anymore. Marauders didn't do things the things he'd done. Marauders didn't curse their brothers until their voice broke. Marauders didn't beat the shit out of his fellow students. Marauders didn't take advantage of girls like Marlene. And Marauders surely didn't leave a girl with more bruises than he could count. Sirius Black couldn't be a Marauder. He was just like all the other filthy scum the Black family had produced. Just like them.
Tears trailed down his cheeks and he rubbed them fiercely away, vainly attempting to keep his shoulders from shuddering as he cried. He couldn't bear it if he stole anymore of the precious few hours of sleep Marlene did manage to get in a day. He couldn't bear the reaction she'd have when she realized she'd fallen asleep in his bed. In a pureblood elitist scum's bed. In a future Death Eater's bed.
A sob broke through his lips and she stirred at the sound.
Sirius froze for a fraction of a moment, before hurriedly ridding his cheeks of tears. He didn't want her to see him cry, but she did.
"Black?" she said sleepily. "You're not sleeping." Marlene sat up blurrily rubbing her eyes, blinking him into focus. "What's wrong?" she asked cupping his cheek in her hand. Sirius choked back another sob. It was bruised too. "Black, I…" She paused.
Pressing her lips to his forehead she guided him down to the pillows. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I didn't think…" Letting her voice trail away she picked up his wand.
Sirius closed his eyes as she pointed it at him. She was going to kill him; she was going to end it right then and there. He released a shuddering breath. No one would know of his betrayal. No one would remember him as the fallen Marauder.
A pleasant tingling sensation buzzed above his left brow as Marlene's voice hovered quietly above him. Confusedly, he opened his eyes. "What are you doing?" he asked, bewildered.
Smiling amusedly, Marlene replied, "Patching you up, of course. You've done quite a number on your hands."
His expression remained confused as she continued her treatment, the sheet hastily wrapped around her slipping farther down each time she moved.
"But why?" he breathed. "I…"
"Oh?" she queried cheekily. "You going to do it yourself?"
Sirius blinked. He hadn't planned on it.
"Though not," said Marlene softly.
"McKinnon, I'm sorry," he stated firmly, though his voice quavered.
Marlene chuckled. "Whatever for? And I thought you didn't apologize."
He pushed himself up catching her chin in his hand, tilting her head to him. Staring into her eyes —'kaleidoscope eyes,' he thought— he searched for everything he thought he knew. He didn't find any of it.
"What?" she asked confusedly. "What's the matter, you—"
He kissed her so gently. Their lips meeting once, twice, three times, just tiny little kisses. "You don't— I mean— my brother is a Death Eater."
"Yeah?" she smiled awkwardly. "You said that." He stared at her blankly and she shrugged. "I really don't know what you want me to say, Black." Taking his hand in hers, she kissed his palm again. "I'm sorry. It must be difficult and I understand you're upset, but it's his choice, you can't change that."
"Difficult?" he asked. Difficult to convert, hell yes, it was. He had even hoped for his death.
"Yes," she explained softly, "to be on one side, while someone you love is on another. Merlin, Black, you're going to train to be an Auror. You'll be fighting against him. I couldn't imagine what's going on in your mind right now. I wouldn't want to."
"Oh," he breathed.
Staring at him, Marlene's brow furrowed. "You thought— Oh, god, Black, I'd never think that. Ever," she told him sincerely. "You're too… too you."
"But I…" He paused tucking her hair behind her ears, letting his hands smooth down the sides of her neck. "Look what I've done to you."
"I asked for it," she answered simply.
His eyes fell closed and he shook his head. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"That it hurt?" she asked. "I did." Tracing a bite mark on his shoulder with a finger she smiled. "I like this one, it's okay that I leave it?"
Nodding despondently, he murmured, "Let me take care of you then," removing his wand from her hand and tugging the sheet from around her.
"That the trade off?" she teased.
"Mm," was his only response as he gently pushed her back down onto the bed. Each bruise and mark that he healed, he placed a tender kiss over showering her with soft affection until her body was left unmarred and freckled as ever.
As he placed a lingering kiss at the pulse point on her neck, her fingers weaved through his hair. "Black, you don't—" Her words cut off into a hum as he sucked softly at the delicate skin.
"I like that one," he said huskily as he pulled away, "Can I leave it?" Marlene blushed, nodding once. Sirius slowly progressed to more arousing affections, smoothing her skin with his hands, lightly tasting her when he felt the urge to do so.
Suddenly, she made a little sound that was not a melodious hum of enjoyment and he looked to her face. Her eyes were closed, her lips slightly parted and she made the tiny noise again. Sirius chuckled.
It was the first time in his life a girl had fallen asleep on him. "Oh, McKinnon," he said with humor, "you do confound me."
--
"I thought you weren't going to hurt her?" accused Remus Lupin as he prodded Sirius awake with a finger.
Sirius blinked up into soulful eyes. "Shit," he cursed.
"You're damn right, it's shit." Remus' eyes flicked to the naked, sleeping girl cuddled up with her head on Sirius' chest.
Glancing about nervously, Sirius placed a hand over Marlene's ear as if it would keep her from waking. "Moony, listen, it's not like that."
"Not like what, Padfoot? Marley doesn't have casual sex. What the fuck are you thinking?" hissed Remus, his eyes glowering.
"Can we talk about this later?" Sirius asked desperately. "I don't want to wake her."
Remus raised an eyebrow angrily. "You mean you don't want her to find out you're just using her."
"I told you it wasn't like that," growled Sirius.
Snorting, Remus shook his head. "When she wakes, you better have a damn good reason, Padfoot."
Sirius nodded solemnly. Merlin, what was he going to tell Remus? He'd fucked his friend because he was upset?
"You've marked her, by the way," Remus said coldly. Sirius resisted the urge to strangle him on the spot and settled for a quick bob of his head.
As silently as he appeared, Remus was gone.
--
Marlene yawned and stretched sighing contentedly as she draped an arm across Sirius' chest.
"Finally awake, are we?" teased Sirius, placing his book on the floor. "Six hours in the middle of the afternoon. You do realize I'm going to be up all night because of this?"
"Sorry," she replied with a shy smile. "Was it really six hours? Straight?"
"Mmhmm," answered Sirius, watching her sit up and wrapping the sheet tightly around her.
"Mm," she intoned. "It's been ages since I've slept that long." Grinning, she yawned. "We should fuck more often."
Sirius chuckled. "Oh, we should, should we?"
Wrinkling her nose and shrugging, Marlene coyly said, "Fine, you can't shag me whenever you want."
Sitting up Sirius gazed at her inquisitively. "What are you saying, McKinnon? Is this an offer to be my fuck-buddy?" he asked lightly.
Marlene blushed, her coquettish act falling. "Well, I… Yes."
Sirius laughed kissing her forehead. "Moony would murder me."
"I wasn't planning on telling him," said Marlene waspishly. "I just…" her voice trailed off and Sirius stared amusedly at her. "I like shagging… you… and I just… I don't know." Shaking her head she gazed down at her crossed legs. "I don't want any sort of relationship, but having sex every now and then… and I know you're clean… I mean, I…"
"Clean?" chuckled Sirius. "Merlin, McKinnon, you're killing me."
She glanced up at him. "Okay. I just… I like this." Shrugging, she scratched her head. "But, it's cool. You're right, with Remus and Benjy, —Merlin I forgot all about Benjy— it wouldn't work." With a sudden burst of laughter she said, "God, like you'd even want a fuck-buddy —especially me— you can sleep with whomever you want, whenever you want. I'm being ridiculous…" She continued to ramble until Sirius cut her off with a kiss.
"Merlin, McKinnon, you talk too much," he informed her. "I'd fucking love to fuck you anytime."
Marlene laughed blushing again. "It's just fucking though," she clarified. "And I mean, you can still screw whomever, just not when I want to screw you. Right?"
"Right," agreed Sirius biting down his chuckles. "McKinnon, you should be baffled more often."
Blushing, she sighed. "Now that I've made a complete fool of myself, I think I'll go."
"Alright," he laughed watching her stumble on the sheet as she tried to climb out of the bed.
She paused by the door glancing down at herself. "Uh, clothes? Where are my clothes?" she asked, turning back to him.
Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. Yes, he was quite fond of an embarrassed and befuddle Marlene McKinnon.
--
The moon shined high in the night sky as Sirius paced the small balcony of the North Tower, occasionally sipping at the flask in his pocket. The conversation he was about to have was going to be anything but pleasant.
Remus Lupin slowly strode out into the moonlight watching his friend pace nervously. "Can I have some of that?" he asked gesturing to the flask in Sirius' hand. Sirius nodded tossing it to him.
"So," sighed Sirius, shoving his hands into his pockets and glancing out over the grounds. "McKinnon and I slept together. Again." He said resolutely, "I don't regret it."
Exhaling slowly Remus rested his elbows on the stone railing, peering down into the darkness. "You said you wouldn't."
"I know," replied Sirius. "And, I meant it at the time. But, Moony…" He paused taking a sip from his flask. "Regulus is a Death Eater."
Remus' eyes went wide and turned his shocked gaze to Sirius. "What? Why didn't you tell us?"
"I was going to," answered Sirius. "But, I got scared. I thought you'd reject me. I probably would have."
"Sirius…" murmured Remus quietly.
Sirius shrugged. "I know it was stupid now. I just… I came in from finding out and she was there. Waiting for you I expect." Fixing his gaze on the trees he sighed. "She wouldn't leave, so I thought I'd scare her a bit. The next thing I know she's kissing me… I don't know, Moony. I was so pissed. She was so real."
"You were upset, she was there, so you screwed her," Remus stated, detached. "Merlin, Sirius, do you realize how much of a prick you are?"
Chuckling dryly, Sirius replied, "Yeah."
"And she? She knows that it was just…?" his voice trailed off.
"Yeah," Sirius whispered.
"You're an asshole," Remus growled.
"I know."
--
"So," James Potter said slowly, "Moony said you spoke with Regulus. I'm getting information second hand, that's not cool." Sirius chuckled letting his legs flop to the floor so James could take a seat in the chair opposite him.
James threw himself in the chair like an indignant child as Sirius found a new comfortable position. "I just hadn't found the time to let you in on the dirty little secret, Prongs. You spend every waking moment with Evans."
James grinned. "Hell yes, I do." Sirius rolled his eyes.
"So," James prodded, "what happened?"
Shrugging, Sirius mumbled, "I pissed him off."
"Mmhmm," intoned James resisting the urge to ruffle his hair as Lily strolled into the common room.
"You're not paying attention to me," accused Sirius and James' head whipped back to his friend.
"Yes, I am!" he shouted.
Sirius laughed. "Uh huh."
James frowned, but Lily met his eye and it quickly turned upside down. "Jeeze…" moaned Sirius.
"Sorry, you were saying?" James asked after flashing Lily a wink.
"James, pay attention, all right," Sirius ordered. "It's important." James eyes focused on Sirius, his attention immediately redirected at the use of his first name. He completely missed Lily blowing a kiss in his direction. Sirius smiled grimly. "Regulus is a Death Eater." As the words left Sirius' lips James paled.
"There's more," added Sirius before James had a chance to speak. "He said something about having it on good authority that 'my little Mudblood poppet was quite the pleaser.'" Sighing heavily, Sirius gazed up into James eyes. "I think he was talking about McKinnon, he was with Avery, but… Snape was there too."
James gaped at him. "Lily?" he asked.
"Dunno," answered Sirius. "Just, keep your eyes open, alright?"
"Yeah," James murmured, "yeah."
Endnotes:
1) Big thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far, you guys are awesome. Thank you for reading as well.