Sorry for the long wait for this chapter. It's summer; when you're lazy…hope you enjoy Chapter II!! XD
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Pfft…Xigbar thinks he knows everything that's going wrong with Xemnas. Well, I can assure you, I came here to tell the truth. Not feed you lies like the great 'Xigbar MASTA,' who is currently nuts, mumbling something like 'The Superior is a soup bowl wrapped up in a parasol for me' in his sleep. The pink room has obviously done him in.
But you've come to the right place for FACTS. Where did his story leave off? Ah yes…the Pink Room…
Before we begin, I'd like to sort out a few FLAWS with Xigbar's tale. First of all, after Roxas put on his 'puppy eyes', Xigbar ran away screaming. Second, I didn't think Xemnas hugging Tramp was 'cute.' That was whacko FreeFALLING thinking that over there. He's always blaming things on me. And third, I wasn't asking stupid questions, like Xigbar said I was. That's Demyx's job.
Anyway, as Xigbar was sent off to his doom, Xemnas finally collared Tramp. He let him run free in our halls. Maybe he thought he would get lost just in time for dinner. But the mutt found his way back to the table at dessert, and happened to see Axel first. So he put his head upon Number VIII's lap. There was bewildered silence, although half the reason of it was because Demyx had choked on a fish bone, shutting him up for once.
"What is this mutt doing, begging on my lap and drooling all over?" Axel demanded. He was obviously not taking a liking to the idea of fleas
"He's not begging…" started Xemnas. "He's hinting. Can't you tell the difference" And he took a deep breath. "…..Number VIII?" And it all happened at once. From what I heard, Axel burned Tramp's nose, Saix rammed his fist hard into Demyx's back, knocking the wind, not the bone, out of him, and Luxord started to scream random, irrelevant things, like, "Redrum!" and "Sally Drally!!" and "EBay!" and everything else he could think of. Maybe he was trying to imitate Demyx.
And all Saix sat there sipping his tea and looking at the paper. He found something he didn't like, because soon he tore that particular page out and ate it, mumbling to himself about the difference between 'Class I, Class II, and Demyx behavior.'
Turns out that everyone except Xemnas, Saix, Zexion, Roxas, and myself where beating up Mr. Melodious Bloody-By-Now. And Tramp was giving Axel some exercise, barking his head off as he chased the spiky git around.
"It's like a party!" Xemnas shouted merrily, sipping a pinkish liquid I assumed to be wine. I think the Superior was having too much of it, the way he was acting…"But where are the gifts? And this party needs flowers too!"
Yeah, he was drinking wine. Saix rolled his eyes, and Roxas sighed. And then it all went blank. Next thing I knew, I was in a bed, alongside Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, and Zexion, who was snoring in his sleep.
"No, no! That's my pizza!" Zexion shouted, rolling over and reached out his hands, grasped an invisible something, and pulled it towards him protectively. And then he snored. It sounded like a freight train.
"Soooo, you're awake." The voice belonged to Vexen.
"What?" I remember asking.
"Don't 'what' me!" Number IV snapped "I saved your life, fool!"
"Actually, I wouldn't count shoving him through broken glass after stealing all his munny for payment, and dragging him to-"Luxord started.
"Shut up!!" shouted Vexen, "All of you are in here for a reason. Demyx, you were lucky to survive after being beat with a bunch of pots and pans. Luxord…you drank too much. Zexion is just here, and Marluxia…you have issues."
"Hey!" Piped up Flower-boy, "I like flowers, and that's that!!"
"You mean you love to obsess over your pansies, and marigolds, and burn any bees that get near anything and listen to their screaming, painful cries of 'Buuzz! Buuuuuzz buzz, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuzzzzzzz!!!'"
"And he has Pink underwear, too!" added Demyx. That was so unnecessary.
"How do you know!!??" Spat Marluxia "You snooping around my drawers, perv?"
"I use the Landry the same day as you, remember?" But Mr. McPink wasn't listening. He was too busy calling Demyx rude names.
"And you're here because you were knocked out by Wonder-boy over there, in his attempt to escape the clutches of death." Vexen indicated Demyx, who looked like the bone Saix liked to chew on to relieve stress.
And at that moment, Zexion rolled off the bed.
"Huh? What? What happened?? Where am I??!"
"You're safe from harm."
"HARM??!! Where? Who; why? What did I miss? Who am I? What am I doing here?? AAAAHHHHH!!" Zexion, with this, started to spazz. It was quite funny, really. And Vexen rushed over to calm him down.
"Zexion! ZEXION!!" Vexen shouted over number VI's yells of confusion, despair, and of blue balloons. "You're going to be OKAY."
"Really? Oh...Okay!" And with that, he went back to sleep. That's got to be the worst case of mood sings ever. Luckily, I got to leave right after that.
But then I ran into Xemnas, literally. Papers flew everywhere, and an empty folder decided to occupy my head. I attempted to scowl at it.
"What…are you doing, number III?" Xemnas towered over me. I struggled to say something other than 'walking'.
"Well, I turned the corner and ran into you…on accident, of course…"
"And what have you…" and he trailed off. "Number XIII!! Just in time!" Roxas came into view. I let out a great, relieved sigh.
"Huh? What?...Oh, Superior." You're ruining it, Roxas!
"I was looking for you. Come with me." And then he looked down at me, and his voice went down to his normal pace. "And you. I want you…to go get a haircut…as punishment."
"WHAT??!!" I shouted.
"Now," He said sternly. I shrank on the spot. And he strutted down the hall, high and mighty, with the little brat trailing after him. He looked back at me with solemn eyes. Was that a sneer, or a look of concern? Didn't matter. He probably doesn't care about me anyway. He has his high-ranked friend to look after him, and invite him to tea in his office. I wondered what they talked about there…I just had to know.
So, after I came back from the barber, looking like a fool, I admit it, I snuck up to Xemnas' office. I didn't take long at that stupid little place, so they were probably still taking. I made sure no one was looking, and pressed my ear up against the door. It is a dirty thing to eavesdrop, I know, but this madness had to stop. I remember Xigbar always ranting about how this was going too far. The whole Xemnas craziness was getting worse, I could just tell. And SOMEONE had to get to the bottom of it all…
"And what are we going to do about it?" It was Xemnas speaking, and from the 'thump, thump, thumps' I heard coming from the room, he was probably pacing. Not to mention the 'Sqeeeaaaak' of a mouse in there told me Xemnas needed to clean. "We must act now…sooner or later…"
"Yes, I know. But…" Roxas then mumbled something really quietly, that sounded a lot like 'underpants' making no sense at all, until Xemnas said something else, and the gears my mind stopped working from shock.
"And Saix will do it well…" I breathed in a bit of dust, and chocked on it. What was he going to do with Moonboy? Okay, so I was thinking dirty thoughts, and I was gasping for breath at the moment. So I lost the conversation.
"You really think Saix will do it? Why not send…" And I wheezed, trying to get the dust out. And then I let out a high-pitched yell. I think the mouse bit me on my sit-upon. But whatever happened after that I'm not too sure.
Xemnas must have hurt my pained cry, because the door swung open. And no, he didn't see me, because the door collided with my face afterwards, giving me a nosebleed. And he didn't notice me.
"Hmmm…must have been the gremlins…well, thanks for stopping by, Roxas!" And before the younger member could get out, he slammed the door and walked away like a little girl going to the prom.
And then WHAM! Roxas opened the door, which collided with my face yet again. Roxas made a 360 degrees whirl to see if anyone was there. Deciding no one was there, he turned and walked away.
And what did I get from that? Nothing. What a waste of time. The only thing juicy in that gossip was the part about Saix. But then, after I recovered from my…uh…little injury, I went to the living room to watch TV.
And there was Xemnas, eating a bag of chips. It looked like he had now gotten to the microchips, (what's in the bottom of the 'munchy' bag, as Lexaeus called it) because he grunted, and looked into the bag with a frown.
"One day…" He started "I'm going to go to a world with bigger bags of chips!" he declared, frustrated. That didn't make any sense, once you think about it.
"Sent me a postcard when you get there. And some of those chocolates with that gooey center…" He jumped, obviously startled.
"X-Xaldin. What in the non-existent world are you doing?" I knew he only asked that because he hated when his privacy was interrupted. He had this habit of talking to these little stuffed bunnies he had when he was alone…'Mr. Dufus…' he would say, 'Won't you have tea with me?' And I guess "Mr. Dufus" hated tea, because he said "DRINK IT, OR I'LL STEAL ALL YOUR LUNCH MONEY AND THEN BOIL YOU!!!" And we had one of those meetings about Xemnas, and once that particular part got to Demyx's skull after 20 minutes trying to figure that out, he began to talk about torture devices in his sleep, and screamed when we mentioned 'bunnies'.
"Um…well…" I started. But Xemnas wouldn't take it.
"You know what? We need a vacation." That was out of the blue. I didn't know Xemnas could be so random (and he could talk at a normal pace). Not to mention that was dangerous. From all the Fanfictions I've read about when we Organization members take a vacation, it never turns out pretty. And from where this whole Xemnas-madness is going, a vacation wouldn't be the best thing. It's like when Zexion decided he wanted to cook all over again.
"…Xemnas…I don't think…"
"Nothing can go wrong!" And he left without a word.
"Wait! Xemnas!! You…uh…forgot to turn off the TV!" But he was already gone. What could be worse than this? Xemnas has gone crazy, we're going to go on vacation, and I got a haircut. This doesn't even compare to when Zexion found all the spices in the shelf. The only thing that could be as worse as this is when Marluxia gave Vexen a swirly like the little girl he is. Number IV STILL rants about it in his sleep. Wouldn't shut up about 'disrespect' ever sense then.
And before I knew it, we were all on a bus to Disney World. We didn't use the corridors of darkness because Xemnas said it 'cramped his style.' And I think it's a cheesy choice; why couldn't we go to Atlantis or something? And we reserved a little pink seat in the back for Xigbar. He practically pounced in it like some mama's boy or something.
We each brought the necessities: candy, pillows, sleeping bags, and one personal item of or own. I brought our laptop, so I can type this chapter. I didn't really pay attention to what the others brought, but I knew Saix had his bone, Marluxia brought some onions to ward off Vampires (Like we said a dozen times over…he's got issues.), and I could've swore I saw the pink ear of a stuffed rabbit poking out of the depths of Xemnas' pocket.
We got there at about 12:00…P.M. All of us were very tired except for Zexion, who slept all the way there, and was currently asleep anyway. I longed for a nice, soft bed. But as soon as we got there, we quickly realized Kingdom Hearts was extremely popular, as a man in a Sora suit was right outside the gates. Xemnas walked right up to him and kicked him where the sun doesn't shine. He screamed like Demyx when the Superior gives him the stare, and ran into the streets, getting hit by a car.
"AAAAHHH! Sora's followed us here! Stalllkeeeerrr!!!" And finishing his little unnecessary exclamation, Demyx ran like Jack Sparrow, all the way to the 'castle' as they call it, and ran right into the wall. We dragged him by the foot, and went for rooms.
Luckily, we got that over and done with very fast. The manager almost fainted when he saw us, and everyone gave us weird looks in the hall. Then someone said 'Hey look! It's Axel!' and he suddenly got mobbed my fangirls.
I could just tell this was going to be a long week…
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Not as funny as the first chapter, but hey…I'm improvising the whole way.
Please Review. That's what makes mw want to update sooner, ya' know? And I've got a busy schedule as it is. Thanks!
BETA'D BY: RA-YUN. LIKE ALWAYS. :D