( I haven't updated in ages, sorry. Another one soon, I hope. Don't own!)

Luna sighed. "Great. Fun family time?" He glared at her. "Okay, Salem, jeez. Calm dow—" Salem screamed, "NO!" Like a petulant five-year-old. Luna blinked. "Okay, great. But it can't be that bad. And besides, I'll be there." He winced, and nodded.

"Sorry." She shrugged. "No problem. Now come on, let's go find them." Azrael and Merope, under Salem's directions, reached the house first. "Damn." Azrael remarked. Merope's eyes glowed. "Nothing good will come from this. Only suffering." He looked a bit surprised, but nodded.

Merope was an Absol, after all. She could tell this stuff. Padding back to the others, he told Luna, "Merope said there's gonna be trouble." Luna nodded. "So I've gathered. Vita, Suicune, Jirachi!" She called.

"Can you guys please stay in these," she brandished the green-white-gold pokeballs. "Just for awhile, so his parents don't flip?" None of them looked thrilled, but they did so. Luna slipped them in her pocket, and yelled, "Let's go!"

They all followed her and Salem to the giant house of DOOMIE DOOM. Yup. By this point, Merope wasn't the only one predicting disaster. The training arenas in the yard they walked through stank of blood and sweat.

Cybela could hear the screams of pokemon from long-ago training, and she mewled. Luna grasped her fur comfortingly as they went up, and knocked on the door. A girl with yellowed bleach-blonde hair opened the door.

"Oh. It's you." She addressed Salem. "Paige." He said coolly. "Salem." "Paige."

"Luna!" Said girl chirped. Everyone turned to her. "Um... hi?" Salem sighed. "Look, we've just come here to talk, not—"

Before he could run away, however, Paige yelled, "MA! DAD!" A man and a woman with the same bad perm rushed down the steps. "Salem, dear! You've come back home to mummy!" She smothered Salem in a huge hug. Arsena hissed.

"No fair! Bitch, I smother him!" Luna rolled her eyes. "Isn't the point, Arsena." She flicked her tail, and muttered something angrily. Salem had already been dragged inside by his parents, and he signaled frantically to Luna. She sighed. "Dammit." Clomping inside, she stopped.

"Is everyone we meet richer than me?" She bitched. Feraia looked up. "You weren't kidding. Day-mn." Luna glared at her pokemon. "Fifi." She snarled, and stomped in what she hoped was the right direction.

It was not. It was the pantry.

"The fact that I look like an ass does NOT diminish the impact of my exit!" Nyeros and Azrael both rolled their eyes. "Technically, it wasn't an exit..." She glared at them, and ran after Salem. "Bitches." She muttered. She saw another door standing between her and Salem.

So she did what any girl in denial of love would do; she kicked it right the fuck down. "YO!" She stormed over to the table. "I JUST WALKED INTO A FUCKING PANTRY!" Salem put his head in his hands.

"And?" His mother raised an eyebrow. Luna crossed her shoulders. "So... can I get an explanation? And dinner?" His mother huffed, muttered, 'trashy' under her breath, (earning an indignant look from Helalyn), and stood up. "Fine." Luna sat down.

"Okay. Introductions. My name is Luna Ashforth. I do not usually walk into pantries. It is often rather walls. They hurt less. You are?" The man blinked, as if he was quite unsure as to what the hell to make of this kid.

"My name is Arthur Falcore. I am Salem's father, and an Ace Trainer." Luna nodded. "I can see that from the goddamn neon pin announcing that, sir." Cybela looked at the horrified Salem.

"It could be worse. You know her." She said telepathically. Salem nodded slowly, still traumatized. "My name is Paige Falcore. I too am a—" Luna sighed.

"Ace fucking Trainer. People! You want a fucking medal?! Christ Almighty!" Now they looked like they were both going to kill her. Salem just sighed. "Forgive her... she's special, remain calm, please—"

"EXCUSE ME, BITCH!?! WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?!" Luna tackled Salem, and the two rolled around on the floor for the better part of ten minutes. Salem's mother had come out in this time, and was staring at the two.

"Oh my god, they are going to kill each other." Cybela sighed. She was obviously translating here. "No. They do this often. Another five minutes, tops."

Sure enough; five horrifyingly awkward minutes later, the two were hugging each other and had completely forgotten this. Luna turned to the stunned Falcore family. "Ooh, you made eggrolls! Yay, I says!"

She grabbed one, sat down, and began to hum and eat an eggroll, a difficult task indeed. (I've tried.) Salem interrupted. "Luna, would you like to see the pokemon out back after we eat?" She looked at him, and shrugged.

"I suppose." Dinner was a silent, painful affair. Luna couldn't give the pokemon the lovely meal Mrs. Falcore had prepared, and for the first time in their lives, they ate pokechow.

Luna found it hard to concentrate while they complained, and she couldn't yell back. She felt guilty, but how did you explain that?

"Right, Mrs. Falcore, I'm the daughter of two freakin' pokemon, my human mom's Lorelei, and I think I have to save the world. Oh, and I like your son. What else do you want to know?" She sniggered, earning a look from Paige. Luna stuck her tongue out, and flicked a ramen noodle at her.

She growled, and prepared to throw an eggroll. Salem, sensing crisis, gestured to the pokemon for a distraction. "Please!" He hissed. Merope looked to the sky, and sighed. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning hit the skyroof. Luna jumped.

"Didn't know you knew Thunder. Cool." The others shrieked in horror. "Get the pokemon!" They ran outside, not noticing the otherwise perfectly clear blue sky. Salem and Luna looked at each other.

And then they cracked up, laughing so hard it seemed nothing else mattered. "My goodness." Merope observed, but she was smirking. "It seems we have a mess on our hands." Luna turned to Salem.

"Quick, let's escape now." He turned to get up, but it was too late. His parents stormed inside angrily. "That is IT!" His mother shrieked, with what looked like pokemon-inflicted injuries on her horsey face.

"How dare you shame your family in this way, Salem Falcore!? You bring this... this, trash, into our house, you defy our orders, you become a Coordinator, and you just do this!" Arthur stood silent.

Then, moving swiftly, he backhanded Salem, so hard he banged into the wall, and slumped down. Salem bit his lip, but he couldn't stop himself from beginning to cry.

His sobs, so much like a baby's, made Luna snap. She could take being called trash. She could take the verbal abuse.

But you did not ever hit her Salem. She roared, and punched Arthur in the face. She had a good hit; she felt his nose crack, and she ripped it gleefully. She turned to Salem, and pulled him into a hug. "Come here, it's okay..." She spoke to him softly, like she was soothing a crying child.

"It hurts..." He wailed. Luna nodded. "I know, Salem." She helped him up, and they turned to go. His mother's screams followed them.

"If you leave, you are no longer one of us!" Kita turned to them, and rose up on two paws. A gargled, hurring noise emanated from her mouth. She coughed, and tried again.

"Fuh-ck yuh-you, BITCH!" She screamed, in what was almost perfect English. His mother huffed, and slammed the door. Salem grinned, and petted Kita. "Fucking brilliant." She hurred. Luna translated. "I'd heard Luna say it enough... HEY!"

The others cracked up, as Luna attempted poorly to defend her filthy mouth.

But as this was taking place, a pack of pokemon were observing the ragtag group. "Erdrius? Do we kill?" A voice asked, husky with bloodlust.

"No. No, not yet. You will have your turn soon, Bone. For we will kill the end of the world, after all."