I know that this has taken a while to update, and I'm sorry, but I couldn't really think of a good ending. I aslo know that about halfway throguh this Edward's personality changes immensely so it doesn't really make sense. That was accidental because I weote it in two parts so I just sort of assumed that it'd flow and it didn't. Sorry.

I'm also sorry in advance for the hugely confusing ending, if you don't really gte it I'll explain in it at the end.

Disclaimer: Nup, not mine, I would never, EVER have accepted those cast members to play my characters.

Two sealed envelopes now lay on the table. Edward had written the addresses on the front, and his graceful, sloping characters throwing my rough, scrawled ones to shame. I was glad that my writing didn't show through the envelope. My only fear was that Jacob wouldn't open his because of Edward's writing on the front, but, as I was confident to assure myself, Jacob had never seen Edward's writing, so wouldn't recognise it.

My eyes were still dry as I watched Edward finish addressing the letters and slip them into his pocket. Then he turned to look at me, his angel's face bathed in sadness that only made its beauty greater, but in a more tragic way.

"You can't let me go near those letters again, okay?" I asked across the room, from my seat on the bed.

Edward nodded, his expression still full of pain.

"Do you promise?" I pushed, knowing that I had to be absolutely certain before anything else could happen.

He nodded again, patting his pocket lightly.

I forced a smile onto my face, and it surprised me how real it actually felt. I was happy. Happy that I'd said my goodbyes properly. Happy that I'd said enough to let everyone I loved know how much they meant to me. Happy because I knew that no matter what, Charlie, Renee and Jacob would get those letters. Edward had promised me. And he knew how much his promises meant to me.

He drifted across the room to my side, kneeling down in front of me and grasping both my hands in his. I was reminded forcedly of when he'd proposed to me, but his expression – the way his eyes had less sparkle than ever, despite their rich gold colour, the way his pale lavender, perfect lips were turned down at the corners, his whole face tense and sad – reminded me of what was really happening. What I was about to make him do.

And all of a sudden he guilt that must have been welling up ever since I'd first laid eyes on him began spilling out.

The things that I'd put him through, the sacrifices that I'd forced him to make, the sadness that I'd made him feel, the torture that I'd evoked on him… everything that I'd ever done had effected him.

But I couldn't cry. I promised myself never to cry again, the last of my tears had already been shed, and besides I doubted that there was any water to make my tears left in me. My eyes stung and my tear ducts must have been reaching for water, but no tears fell down my cheeks. I was beyond the kind of sadness that I could express.

All I could do was choke out a feeble, "sorry," and collapse into Edward's arms.

And, despite knowing what a terrible person I was, despite being out through all of his troubles because of me, despite loving such a terrible, horrible, selfish person; he held me. Edward drew me into his arms, cradling me against his chest.

"I think I now know why Carlisle never asked us," he murmured against my hair. "We never had to do this. We never had to say goodbye. We never had to see our entire life's worries and faults flash before our eyes as we gave in to this living death. You are not so lucky."

I shook my head. He was wrong. If I had been a good person, a truly good one, like Charlie or Jacob… or Edward… if I had been, then this wouldn't happen. If I was as truly good as people like them were, then none of this guilt would be in them. They didn't feel regret, they didn't feel selfishness or dishonesty. They were too good a people to feel any of that. I wasn't. I deserved it. I'd bee the one to heap guilt on others. I'd been the one to take whatever I needed, completely disregarding everyone else. I'd been the bad person through it all. And only now did I finally realise that.

"Bella," Edward said warningly, possibly reading something from my expression. "You're a good person."

I shook my head.

"You have loved, you have been happy, you have given without expecting anything in return. Not many people of your age have done so much good for others, Bella." He whispered, his voice hypnotic and unwavering.

I shook my head again. He was wrong.

"I've put people in pain – you, Jacob, Charlie, Renee, Alice. I've been selfish, taking only what I want without considering everyone else."

"And you think that no one else has?" Edward challenged, anger hinting in his tone. "I should never have le myself love you, I should have let you live your life, a real life, whole and full and complete. A life without me."

"My life wouldn't be complete without you." I disagreed.

"It would if you'd never met me. If I'd never let you feel what it was like to love me. If you'd never met me, if I'd never existed, then you would have had a real life. You wouldn't have ended up here." He insisted.

"No, you're right, I wouldn't be here. I would be dead somewhere in Port Angeles, or La Push, or Forks, or even Phoenix."

"You don't know that."

"And you don't know that I wouldn't of."

Edward sighed, and pushed me off his lap. I stayed on the floor, leaning against the side of the bed as he walked to other side of the room, stopping at the table. We were both silent.

Slowly, not wanting to disrupt Edward from his thoughts, I pulled my self back up onto the bed and lay down on it, facing the wall. It hadn't escaped me that to change me into a vampire – which, after all, was the point of coming to this little shack – would require Edward's participation. I also knew that he wasn't going to do anything if he was angry.

So I waited.

I didn't even hear him come over to me. All I felt was a light gust of his breath on the back of my neck. Then his lips touched me. And finally, for what I knew would be the last time ever I exploded with emotion.

It was like the first time he'd kissed me all over again, but this time there were no boundaries, no careful rules and no safety. We wanted it to be dangerous. I wanted to be able to feel for one last time, not things like love and happiness; all of those feeling would still exist later. It was the feel of all of my blood rushing to my lips, my face, my entire body buzzing with energy and excitement.

The blush that Edward loved so much flooded my cheeks, and he caressed them, still with the normal gentleness and tenderness, but also with a new passion and hunger. Lust.

My heart hammered relentlessly in my chest, so hard that I was sure Edward could feel it through my skin. He just smiled into the kiss and pulled me closer.

Somehow he'd turned me around to that I was facing him. We were both lying on the bed, locked together in an unbreakable embrace. One of his hands cupped my cheek, the other gripped my waist. The feel of his cold skin on mine sending more shivers through me.

And me.

My hands ran all over him, jumping from his cold face to the icy panes of his chest to his sculpted arms. Always pulling him closer to me.

I wanted to get rid of every tiny breath of air that escaped between our bodies. I wanted Edward and I to be so close that nothing would ever be able o pull us apart ever again. I didn't want to have to think or feel – those trifles just got in the way. The only thing I wanted was him. Totally and completely. No matter what it cost me.

In that moment of fiery lust and uncontrolled passion, he did it. So simply, so quickly, that I barely even felt the prick as his teeth pierced my skin. His lips were covering mine again before I had a chance to scream at the sudden pain.

And for whatever reason, the pain stopped.

I still knew that Edward's venom was spreading through my body. I could still feel the fire burning through my veins as my blood turned cold. But it didn't matter. Because with everything else that I was feeling, I was completely oblivious to the pain.

Everything else was too intense, too concentrated, too vivid for there to be room for me to feel anything else.

It was bliss. It was exactly what I'd needed. It was exactly what Edward had known I'd needed.

And only then – in the midst of the pain that I didn't feel and the passion that was its own type of excruciating hurt – did I notice where he'd bitten me.

The first few buttons of my blouse had been undone, although I didn't remember doing it myself. And over the place where my heart was – had been – was a half-moon shape. The shape of a vampire bite.

I should have known. Edward would never have accepted the idea of taking my life from me, but he had because he'd loved me. So, to make up for what he'd done, he'd given me a new heart. One that would be noticeably more silent, but also much more permanent. And just as important.

Dear Alice,

I know it seems silly to write to you, after all I should be seeing you in less than a week, but I thought that there were a few things I should fill you in on before you and everyone else visited.

Firstly, the process of changing me went well, I barely felt the pain, really, and Edward had not trouble in distracting himself from drinking my blood. I'm sorry if you didn't want to know that last part, but it's true nonetheless. And you'll never guess where he bit me. Well, I suppose you already knew before I did, but I'll tell you anyway. It was over my heart, or what used to be my heart. He wanted to make up for the loss he was causing me, so now I have a new heart. Sort of. But this one is truly his. It wouldn't be here without him.

Secondly, the hunger is manageable. There are no humans here, so I will have a perfectly clean slate even once you visit. Then again, I haven't yet been exposed to the smell of anyone, so I suppose the hardest part isn't over yet.

And the strength is amazing! It's like I can do anything, anything at all, without even thinking about it. But my clumsiness hasn't gone. I supposed it wasn't all from my blood then. As in, from my parents… get it? You can probably get how annoyed Edward is getting with the feeble attempts at vampire jokes. I'm guessing he's heard them all before.

It's funny, whenever a day ends, I keep thinking: 'okay, time to go to bed', but I don't. Strange actually. I feel like I'm tired but I can't sleep. I wish I could do something during the night. Edward always leaves to go off and find more food for me, he won't let me hunt with him yet, just in case we happen upon some lost travellers or something, I think. But when the rest of you get here he says he'll let me out, even I can't escape from a whole coven of full-grown vampires apparently. I'd love to try just to prove him wrong.

And, strangely enough, I'm happy. Not the full happiness that people (/beings) only experience once in their life, but that general happiness, like finally I have achieved everything that I wanted to, and now I can just settle down and relax a little. It feels good to take a break from being the prey, although I'm certainly not the predator yet. I'm much too clumsy to ever truly be a predator. Or even a vampire. Which I think Edward likes. He says that he's never seen me as 'just another person', so it figures that even with this change I wouldn't be 'just another vampire', but I was a little worried about that. I think the clumsiness proves that I'm not.

I really am looking forward to seeing you, and Esme and Carlisle and Jasper and Emmett and Rosalie too, if they can all make it. But I don't think all of us will fit in this little home of Edward's and mine. I guess that problem can wait until it comes.

Please say hello to Charlie for me. And Renee and Jacob too, if you see either of them. I promised them that I'd be back… eventually. But eventually has a very different meaning for them than it does for me now.

Love, as I always plan to, Bella.

P.S. Whatever happens, wherever either of our paths take us in the future, even if it means we won't see each other for centuries: I'll never, ever, forget you.

Edward's head rested on my shoulder, his soft breaths tickling my cheek. Smiling, I folded the letter in half and slipped it into an envelope, seeling it in one smooth, fluid motion. Handing the envelope to Edward, I stood from my chair, easily pushing him out of the way from behind me, and skipped gracefully to the bed. I didn't trip until my last step, which sent me falling onto the mattress anyway, so it didn't really matter.

A low chuckle came from behind me as Edward caught me around the waist flipping me around so that I was on my back. Slowly, cautiously, he lowered himself down over me, careful to hold himself so that his chest pressed against mine, but none of his weight was on me.

I sighed as he leant to kiss me, his cold lips gentle and smooth on mine, his sweet breath flooding my mouth.

It was difficult not to wonder why he was still so careful with me now, even though I was obviously much less breakable than before. My kisses lost their enthusiasm as I considered that thought. Why was he still acting as if I was a human?

Edward's mouth left mine as he slowly trailed kisses over my cheeks, along my jawbone, over my chin, and down my neck. He paused there, his nose skimming lightly along my collarbone, as if taking in the scent I no longer had. Marble lips touched my chest, right over the place where my heart had once beat, where now the crescent shape was scarred into my skin. With another low chuckle, I felt a shiver of panic run through me as Edward drew back his lips and his teeth touched my skin.

The pain was unbearable as he bit into me, his jaw inking through skin and muscle, right to my heart. I could feel the moment that it stopped beating. I could feel the real fire burning through my veins, seeping through my body. The cold that trailed behind the fire was even worse.

But the worst thing of all was the terror that exploded inside me when Edward took that first gulp of my blood.

Confusing much? Yeah, I know it was, but see I had this idea that maybe it wouldn't work on Bella the first time that Edward bit her. I mean, seriously, she's weird already when it comes to magic powery things, so why not extend her weirdness a little. So the first time when he bit her, when she didn't feel any pain, it's becasue he didn't actually bite her properly. Which is weird, I know. I guess I just sort of figured that Bella isn't going to get out of the pain that comes with being turned intoa vampire. She isn't going to get out all the troubles and blood lust and stuff just becasue she's Bella. At least that's what I think. Which is why Edward had to bite her again and the second time it actually hurt, therefore the second time it'd actuall work. In theory. I know it's kind of twisted and weird, but I wanted to put a bit of a twist in it, almost like a joke from my point of view because it's such a cliffy to end on. So sorry for that, I know it's mean and if I was a reader I'd HATE that end.

Anyway, thanks to any readers, please check out My Alien cos I am SO not going to continue it I only get two reviews for the whole thing. I mean, seriosuly, I have my standards. Thanks again!