thanks for the reviews...here's the next chapter...i hope you like it...just to add that the first bit is a flashback to before Derek told Meredith she's pregnant, it's why it's in italics.

After Bailey had left, he didn't say anything but just stared at the results.

"What do they say?" Rose asked, curious

"She's pregnant"

There was an awkward silence between them before Rose said, in a weak voice, "Well, it's probably not yours"

"She's nine weeks along" He said, "Which means that it is…it also means that she should know about it, which means that she has known and hasn't told me"

"Will she wake up?" Rose asked bluntly

He looked at her, for the first time she had come in, angrily. "That's rather direct"

"Well, I'm sorry but if she does then it means that this affects us but if she doesn't then we don't need to even think about this because it means she's not coming back and so neither is the baby"

He was surprised at how selfish she was being and it showed on his face.

"Ok, that came out wrong" she said

"Well, how did you mean it to come out?" he asked, not angry, not sad, just curious

"I don't know…it's just, when we started going out, I knew you were still getting over her but when I found you in here, it was pretty obvious you hadn't done that yet and that's fine but now with this baby…I can't wait around forever for you to be over her and, honestly, now I'm starting to think you won't ever will, especially now she's having your baby." She told him, "So, I'm saving us both the effort of clinging onto something that clearly isn't meant to be…I just hope you manage to finally sort things out with her…whether or not it means that you end together, if not for your sakes then for your child's."

He gave her a smile, "See you around then"

"See you around" she said back and left

XXX

"I'm pregnant?!" she looked up at the ceiling and the back at him, "Really?"

She couldn't believe it. This was huge, over-whelming.

"Yeah…nine weeks which begs the question how did you not guess something was up?" he asked

"I just didn't notice…I haven't really been myself…I…I never thought about it… I …I'm pregnant" she still didn't believe it, "I'm having a baby" she turned her eyes back to the ceiling

"We're having a baby" he corrected

She looked at him, "We are" she whispered

XXX

They had been staring at each other for about half an hour, just staring, each lost in their own thoughts. Then Meredith said, "So, what did Rose say when she found out?"

"Well, we broke up…she thinks I'm still hung up on you" Derek told her honestly

"Oh"

"Yeah"

There was an awkward silence, there seemed to be many of these today. Then Meredith asked, "Are you?"

He looked at her. He wanted to tell her that when he found out it was her, he felt like he was going to be sick. His hands had gone sweaty and he nearly had burst into tears. He couldn't stand the thought of losing her. Rose was right. He was still in love with her and he didn't think that was ever going to change.

"You remember the day after the Prom thing for the Chief's niece?" he asked, "When I came to your house?"

She nodded

"Do you remember what I said?"

"You said that you were in love with me and you'd always been" she replied, her voice soft

"I left something out" he told her

"What?" she asked

"I'll always be…it doesn't go away just because you're scared of committing or can't trust me or won't open up to me" his voice was quiet but she could sense conviction

"Derek?"

"Yeah"

"I'll always love you too" she told him, "And that doesn't go away just because you kissed a nurse or want to move our relationship 100 miles a minute without talking to me first or because you had a wife that you didn't tell me about"

"So what do we do?" he asked

"Well, I think, for our baby's sake as well as our own, we actually talk about this instead of arguing" she said, "Because I'm tired of losing you"

"I'm tired of losing you too"

They shared a smile

Then Derek said, "I promise to always be honest. I have no more secrets, nothing I'm hiding. I will always be honest and I will always be there. I promise you, I'm not going anywhere…you have to trust me"

"Do you promise to understand when I'm scared?…it scares me when you want to move forward…and I do too, but I'm scared…I am in this, you have to trust that, but I need you to understand that this is scary for me" Meredith told him

He nodded, "I understand it's scary…if you talk to me about it, I'll listen, I promise…and I'll do my best to try and make it less scary. Ok?"

"Ok"

There was a pause and then Meredith asked, "You do know that I want all you want, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"The kids, the house, marriage, a lifetime together…I want that…I just am scared"

"Because I didn't tell you I had a wife and before that it seemed perfect?"

"Yeah"

"But you trust me when I say I'm not going anywhere, not just because of the baby but because of you?"
"I'm trying to" she looked at the ceiling again

"Trying to?"

"Yeah… I know what it's like to feel like I was going to lose you, only get little moments where I feel connected to you and because of that I'm trying to" she paused and looked at him, "I know you love me more than you loved Addison... I know you believe in true love…and that you believe that's what we've got"

"We do"

"We do" she repeated, "We do"

"How do you know all of this?" he asked

She bit her lip, "I don't want you to think I'm crazy"

"Trust that I won't…remember, trust me"

"Right, trust you" she said, "Right, Ok, here goes nothing…"

And she began to tell him about when she drowned, sharing something that she should have done ages ago. She was opening up to him and once she told him she felt so much better, she felt calm and she didn't feel like he was going to bolt.

"I don't think you're crazy" he said, "And I'm glad you told me…I'm glad you're opening up to me"

"Me too" she replied, "I think maybe this time we're going to make it work"

"Because you're trusting that I won't run away?"

"Yeah, because I'm trusting you and I'm trusting that you'll only go as fast as I can handle"

"I will only go as fast as you can handle" he repeated, "What can you handle at the moment?"

"Me and you dating nobody but each other…and preparing for when our baby is born"

"Ok, well, I'll get an OB-GYN to come down tomorrow" he said and smiled

She smiled back and then asked, "So, if you're my doctor, can you tell me when I'm going to get out of here?"

"Now you're awake? Three nights here and then you can go" he told her

"So, tonight and tomorrow night and the night after that and then I can go?" she asked

"As long as nothing goes really wrong" he replied

"Thanks for the vote of confidence"

He chuckled, "I doubt that anything will, you've woken up pretty quickly, that's a good sign and you're certainly chatty and seem to have most of your memory…you can go home in three days"

"And you'll take me home?" she asked

"And I'll take you home" he replied

XXX

The next morning, the OB-GYN came down and checked on Meredith and the baby.

"All seems fine and you can see your baby for yourselves" and she left them to look at the sonogram

Derek sat next to her on the bed and had his arm round her. "Wow" he whispered

"Yeah, wow" Meredith whispered too. She looked at him and bit her lip. How could she tell him how scared she was? How could she ruin his excitement? How could she seem like she wasn't ready to move forwards?

A tear escaped and rolled down her cheek.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Derek asked and wrapped his other arm round her slim frame

"I'm scared" she told him, "I'm scared to become a mother…it's such a huge thing"

He wiped away her tear, "You are going to be fine…and everybody is scared when they have a kid…everybody…I'm scared and I've wanted this for a while"

"You are?" she asked

"I am"

"That makes me feel better, thanks" she took a deep breath, "Sorry about that…hormones I guess"

He smiled, "Its fine… I'm glad you opened up"

She smiled back, "I'm moving forwards, we're moving forwards"

"We are"

XXX

He was checking on other patients when Cristina came to check on her.

"Nice bandages…you got any hair under them?"

Meredith shook her head, "Unfortunately not"

Christina chuckled, "I can't wait till they come off"

"Thanks" Meredith said sarcastically and then added, "I'm going to invest in head scarves until it grows back"

There was a pause

"I'm glad you're Ok"

"Me too"

"I hear you're pregnant" she said and sat down on her bed

"Yeah" Meredith smiled, "I am"

"And its McDreamy's?"

"Yeah"

"How did Minnie Mouse take that?"

"Minnie Mouse?"

"The nurse" Cristina told her as if it was obvious, "Do you not see the complete likeness between her and Minnie Mouse?"

"Well, now you say that…" Meredith said and burst out laughing for a second. "They broke up" she then told her, "And we're together"

Cristina frowned, "How together?"

"Together for good…just us…working on our relationship" Meredith told her

"Seriously?

"Seriously"

"And what about your abandonment issues?"

"I'm trusting Derek and opening up to him and he knows that this is what I want, to be with him"

"Ok, well good…I hope it works out" Cristina told her honestly

XXX

He was making his way back to Meredith's room when Cristina started walking up to him.

"Dr Yang"

"Don't hurt her…you have to promise that you will listen to her and trust her and help her because she's still got these issues…you might be back together but they haven't gone away. She needs to work through them and you have to make sure she does" she told him forcefully

He stopped. Her blunt honesty didn't surprise him but what she said shocked him. She was right.

XXX

She looked up and smiled as he came back into her room.

"Hey, I missed you" she said

He smiled back at her and sat down on the side of her bed. "Meredith" he began softly, "I…I was wondering…."

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to see a shrink, maybe?" he asked

She looked shocked

"Just to work through your issues" he added

"Oh, ummm" she didn't know what to say

"I understand if you don't but we both know you need to work through your issues" he said, softly

"Yeah, I do…maybe it's not a bad idea"

He pulled her into his arms and breathed her in. "It'll be fine"

"Yeah, I know" she whispered, "Now I've got you"

XXX

It was a few hours before she was going to leave and they were sitting in her hospital room. Derek was filling out some of her paper work for her while she told him the answers.

"Insurance number?"

She was about to answer when some interns came in, "Er, Dr Grey, we've got to change your bandages before you leave"

"Oh right, Ok" she said and looked at Derek, "Out, please"

"What?! Why?"

"Er, because I've got no hair under here and you're my boyfriend and I want you to think of me as beautiful not as a bald freak" she told him, "So, out"

"Meredith, I love you, hair or no hair" he told her softly

"I don't care…I'd feel embarrassed" she told him, "Indulge my rarely seen vain side, I'm pregnant with your child"

"So, it's my child now, not our child?" he asked, amused, as he stood up

"It's your child when I want you to do things" she told him and smiled, "Could you get me a soda?"

He sighed, "Do this, do that" he teased and left them room.

XXX

She sat up in bed, unable to sleep.

"What's wrong?" his voice cut through the silence

"Did I wake you?" she asked softly

"It doesn't matter" he whispered, "Now, what's wrong?"

Meredith rubbed her forehead, "I don't know"

"Scar's not hurting?"

"No" she replied, "Though I can't wait to get these damn bandages off"

"Then what's wrong?"

"I'm going back to work in a few days"

"And?"
"I'm just wondering…"

"Wondering…"

"If I'll be Ok…working and being pregnant…I just don't want to end up stressing out the baby"

"I'll be watching over you every step of the way" he told her and pulled her towards him, "We're in this together…remember"

"Yeah…we're in this together…I like that" she whispered

"Me too"

She looked up into his eyes that shone in the darkness. "I feel safe" she voiced the only thought in her mind, "I feel safe with you"

He smiled, "I'm glad"