Disclaimer: still the same as in chap 1

A/N: Sorry for the wait...re-examinations are no fun at all!!! School is about to begin again, that means that my lovely girlfriend and co-writer and beta has to teach again. And I have to play student for another year so for the updates...from now on it could take a while.

Also a biiiiigggggg thank you to all the reviewers!!!!!

Oh yeah, if you were confused by the last chapter, you will be more confused after you read this...so go ahead and throw those diapers :-)

Chapter 15

The following day I went to the lab, essentially to pick up my stuff and leave for good. Lise was working tonight, I smiled at her before heading towards the locker room. She called out to me and she gave me a plant, I raised an eyebrow at her. She merely shrugged, so I took the card. From Grissom.

I smiled at the card, I took the plant and put it in my lab, after shift it was going home with me. This coming from Grissom was the same as shouting I love you from the top of your longs to the one you truly love. Talking about I love you's and Grissom in the same sentence maybe isn't the wisest thing to do and it's definitely NOT the best comparison. Nevertheless this was really a nice thing of him to do, he was probably proud with himself knowing he had done a good thing. I could almost see him patting his own shoulder after he placed the order. If it wouldn't have been Grissom, I would have thrown the damn plant away. But this was so sweet, he does respect and acknowledge me. I decided to stay.

Someone had clearly been gossiping because everyone was questioning me about my boyfriend. It amused me, everyone thought I had a boyfriend, even Catherine. She didn't like to talk about Hank, she wasn't impressed by him, I know she thought he was a jerk. She never told me that but I could tell by the way she spoke about him. Mostly her voice was dripping with sarcasm or she had this look in her eyes, hard to describe really but clearly stating I don't like him. I never asked her about it and she never told me openly.

Hank and I dated some more, we even went to Pahrump Valley Winery. I've always wanted to go there, I heard it was beautiful and that the wine was actually delicious. The problem was I didn't have anybody to go with, I wanted to ask Catherine but I think that would be a little too straight-forward. It's a romantic place and I have to admit I was too afraid to ask her. On my night off I decided to go, I called Lise but she was busy. Damn, should I ask Catherine… She might say yes, nah she would probably laugh her head off and think this is a joke. Hank was my next choice, we had bonded over the weeks (or is it months) and I felt comfortable around him. Our dates were always nice and we had fun together. I admit Pahrump lost his romantic meaning if I asked Hank but I did anyway.

We were there walking the grounds, enjoying the delicious wine, we even had a reservation in the restaurant when all of a sudden my cell decided to ring. I could have ignored it, but I know it had to be work and I just couldn't. If I get called on my night off, this can only mean one thing: the lab is short-handed. I was right it was Grissom and he needed me. So much for my night off…

When I arrived at the scene, he acted all strange as if he was mad at me for going out. I really don't get this man, there was a time when I knew him better than anyone in the lab, but then we stopped talking for some reason and he started to act all weird around me. Hence me acting weird around him. Grissom appeared to be jealous this time, I honestly wouldn't know what got into him even if my life depended on it. As usual we didn't really talk about it, I just told him he confused me. Which of course confused him.

Maybe 2 years ago I would have been able to tell what was wrong with him, we had this subtle communication going on between us, he always talked to me if something was bothering him, he showed an interest in me and in my life. But the longer I worked for him, the more distant he became. There is still this thing between us, nobody knows how to explain that exactly, some assume things… Yeah, some people actually believe that I'm in love with him, I won't deny that he's attractive in his own special way but come on…that's Grissom we're talking about. I share a deep 'emotional' and intellectual connection with him, but unless our brains can make love with each other there will never be anything romantic about our connection. Grissom didn't like Hank either. Of course he also didn't know that there wasn't anything going on between us.

I was wrong, it didn't amuse me anymore that people thought I was seeing him. People kept badgering me about him, what is their problem?! Why do they all think they have anything to do with my personal life. These are my friends indeed but that doesn't mean I have to tell them everything, I like to keep my personal life…well personal. Still I never denied it, still I let them all believe I was seeing him. All but one… I told Greg the truth, the whole truth.

"So…tell me." Greg says eagerly.

"He is not my boyfriend!" for a split second he looks confused, then relieved. "Yes, we date. We go to movies, we have dinner, we go out together but that doesn't mean I'm in love with him or anything, he's just a friend!"

"He's not the one then, looking for someone better, let's say…someone like me?" I should have known he was thinking he got a chance now. I roll my eyes and sigh.

"He's definitely NOT the one and you don't stand a chance either." I sound a bit harsh, but I'm sick and tired of this. I'm somewhat confused when I see that Greg doesn't look hurt, maybe he didn't understand me.

"I kinda figured that out, I just don't have the equipment." He's still smiling widely, he reminds me of a kid that has figured out some big secret and isn't able to keep it to himself. But he can't know, can he? I don't have a reply this time, so he goes on "You, Sara Sidle, are in love with someone else."

This must be the smuggest look on his face he has ever had. My jaw just hits the floor, this cannot be happening, he can't know that I have strong feelings for Catherine, nobody knows… Sometimes I even forget myself, because I'm too busy denying them or telling myself that my feelings are nothing more than wanting to be close friends with her. I just have to know what he knows, maybe he too thinks it's Grissom. For the first time I'm actually delighted that someone thinks I'm in love with Grissom. I collect myself, destined to find out what he knows.

"You think I'm in love with someone else… what made you so sure?" I cross my arms in front of my chest, stating I'm not in the mood for any of his jokes.

"Well, when this person enters the same room you are in, you light up no matter what your previous mood was, it all disappears and you are happy and in a really good mood. If I would ask you what this person was wearing today, you would be able to describe the entire outfit plus extras which nobody probably noticed but you. When this person passes you, you always check this person out thinking nobody is paying attention…" Okay, clearly he knows more than I thought he would, which is actually kind of scary.

"Are you stalking me?!" it's more a statement than a question.

"No I'm not, I notice you. When you started working here, I had this major crush on you, but even then I knew you would never reciprocate my feelings. But that didn't hold me back, you became an enigma for me. And I found out, that when you are alone you let your guard down a bit. I was able to see so many things you normally wouldn't let me see." Greg's face is serious, I'm amazed by his confession. I don't think anyone has ever been this interested in me, the real me that is. People assume all those things about me, certainly when I'm pushing them away, mostly they just lose interest.

"And who is this person I'm in love with according to you?"

He has his smug smile back and without any doubt he says "Catherine Willows."

My jaw hits the floor again, the color from my face vanishes so quickly it's making me dizzy, for a moment it feels like I'm going to faint from the shock his answer just gave me.

"If you ever tell ANYONE, I will kill you and I'll make sure NOBODY will be able to tell what has happened to you, if they are even able to identify you." My voice is low and threatening, he winces but is too afraid to say anything else. I walk out of his lab, confused and angry, I walk in the locker room and slam my fists into a nearby locker. How could I be so obvious?! If he knows, Catherine will definitely know... I'm just making a fool of myself! Acting like a love crazed teenagers.

I tried not to think about my conversation with Greg too much anymore. It was hard, but I managed, I'm very proud of myself, because I also managed to act normal around Catherine. That moment in the locker room when my hand met locker number 4 I decided to change tactics, I spent as much time off as possible with Hank. It seemed he was working other hours for a couple of weeks which resulted in us going to the movies and having dinner quite often.

I even invited him to my apartment, which was weird at first because normally not many people, as in almost no one, sees it. I don't like people in my space, especially no one from work, they are all skilled investigators and I know they would try to learn as much as possible about me through my apartment. I'm still trying to figure out which I dislike the most: the fact they learn something about me or the fact they learn it without asking me.

Tonight is one of our movie-nights-at-my-place. I provided us something to eat and drink, Hank is bringing the movie. Everything is set up and Hank is ringing my doorbell, I let him in and we walk over to the couch to see the movie. We are sitting close to each other, his arm is resting on the couch behind my back and I can't resist the urge to put my head on his shoulder, I snuggle up against him and it feels so good. He's startled by my action however he tries hard not to show it, which only makes it more obvious. We stay in the same position for the rest of the movie, I think he's too afraid to move which is funny. And they all think he's my boyfriend…they should see the look on his face now. I chuckle and he frowns.

"Just relax, I'm not going to bite…that is unless you deserve it."

"I am relaxed, I'm just not sure this is what you want, normally you're not…em…not this…" he's struggling to find the right words as not to hurt my feelings.

"This touchy." I help him.

"Yeah." He sighs.

"Don't worry, I'm a big girl I can make my own decisions." I smile.

He starts the next movie and we remain in our position only this time he's relaxed. I don't care about the movie, I feel safe in his arms, it feel so good to have someone to hold you, I close my eyes and fall asleep.

Some time later I wake because I have this stinging pain in my right arm. I open my eyes carefully and take in my surroundings, it takes me a while before I know where I am. TV, coffee table, I'm certainly not in my room, but the TV is mine so I must be on my couch. I become a bit more aware of my environment and realize I'm snuggled up against someone, someone who's breathing evenly and deeply, indicating he is asleep. HE!!! OH MY GOD, I fell asleep in Hank's arms! I jump off the couch as if I'm struck by lightening, this wakes him up too.

He smiles at me "Hey sleepyhead."

"Hey." I say curtly, trying to think off something to do, so I can get away from here. It's not that sleeping with him surprises me, what surprises me more and confuses me to no degree is the fact I slept good, worse… the best I have slept in a long time. What's happening with me??? I walk to the kitchen to make coffee, I need coffee maybe then I can think straight about this. Straight being the keyword. Sidle, stop this! You were tired, you fell asleep in his arms, slept fine nothing abnormal about that. He's your friend.

I get two cups of coffee and walk back to the couch, a bit calmer. "Can we talk about this?" I say indicating him and me.

"Sure." He says understandingly, he sits up and takes one of the offered coffees.

"I don't want to feel awkward around you, I like this thing we're having, I like being your friend. Sleeping with you, I mean in your arms was nice and that confuses me. I normally don't let people get this close when …" when what? I trail off.

Hank smiles "Sara, it's okay, you were tired and you were lying good, so you fell asleep, no biggie." He was right, there is nothing wrong or strange about two friends falling asleep together. Right?

I know...What am I doing!!! But as I already said: I just go with the flow. You can yell now :-) Thanks for reading. And yes, this will remain a Catherine/Sara fic.