CH: 6- Reconnecting
Leaving Natalie and Ginny at the Burrow was the hardest thing he had ever done. It was even harder than the first time he had left Ginny's side. This time he knew that he would be with them again soon, but he felt as if he were deserting them. Natalie's large brown eyes watched him as he said good bye to everyone, she seemed to be aware that he was leaving and she was hurt.
"Until Saturday night then," Harry said softly as he came to stand before Ginny. She couldn't speak, but she nodded her head briskly. Harry wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him. "It'll work out Gin, I promise."
"I trust you Harry," she whispered and moved her mouth slowly towards his. They kissed briefly and Harry pulled away to look at his daughter who was frowning at him.
"Are you going to say goodbye to me Natalie?" he asked. He wanted to call himself her father, but he hadn't earned that right yet. He hadn't spent enough time with her to ask her to call him daddy or even dad. She looked up into his bright green eyes and pouted.
"Only Daddy Michael can kiss Mommy," she said angrily. Everyone began to laugh at the confusion on Harry's face, and the anger on Natalie's.
"Sweetheart, Michael isn't your daddy anymore," Ginny explained gently. Natalie nodded as if she understood, but then she had something more to say to Harry.
"Why can't you stay here with us Harry? You are my daddy," she whispered tearfully. Harry sighed and turned to Ginny. She looked at him with an exasperated sigh, he didn't know his daughter well enough to answer that question without hurting her. It was an awkward position to be in.
"He lives in London Tallie," Ginny said as she knelt down beside Natalie. She had deprived them all of everything they really needed. Each other.
Harry sounded surprised at the shortened version of Natalie's name but he liked it. It fit the impish little girl in front of him. "I am going to visit as soon as I can," Harry promised.
Natalie just nodded her head and tried to wipe away the fat tears rolling down her cheeks. "I don't want you to go!" She cried and jumped into his arms, clinging tightly to him. Harry was surprised but he didn't let her go. Instead he held her tightly, kissing her hair.
"Why don't you come and visit me in London this week?" Harry asked, trying to get her spirits up. Natalie's eyes widened and she began to nod, but then she saw her mother and stopped, turning to her for advice.
"We'd love to Harry," Ginny whispered, tears filling her own eyes now. "Whenever you need us we'll be there…"
Harry walked through the door of his flat with a sigh. When he left it three days ago he had no idea that his entire life would have been turned upside-down. He never would have imagined that he had a daughter. It hit him then as he was taking his bag to his room.
He had a daughter.
It was like a thousand ton brick pelting him in the stomach. He had known about it, but until he had time to really think about it, it hadn't really made contact. He was a father to Ginny's child. Ginny had never lied to her daughter about who her father was, but she had lied to Harry. He still couldn't understand why he trusted her again, but something told him that it was important.
He looked at the comfortable bed with a smile of appreciation. He hadn't slept very well since he had left for the Burrow. It was time that he regained that crucial energy he had lost in the whole Natalie situation. He had Quidditch practice tomorrow and a game Friday evening. Every moment spent practicing would be crucial to the success of the team. He crawled into the bed and under the blankets; he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
It was dark outside and it was cold.
Whether the cold was coming from inside him or whether it was just cold outside he didn't know. All he knew was that if Ginny walked out of his life again, he could never recover. She had done it once and his heart had broken, the second time she would take everything he had ever loved with him.
"Not Natalie too," he said hoarsely and reached out to take his daughter in his arms.
"Daddy," she whimpered and reached out her small arms to him. Ginny stepped between them and gazed at Harry with empty eyes.
"You lied to us Harry, you said you loved us and would take care of us, but you lied…" Ginny said softly, tears falling down her cheeks. Harry looked into her brown eyes and saw the hurt and anger shining through them. He hadn't seen that look on her face since he had left her behind to go search for the Horcruxes. She hadn't even looked at him that way at the wedding, and then she had only been distrustful and cold. This was a thousand times worse. He knew he had blown his last chance with her now and nothing could redeem him in her eyes.
"Natalie is coming with me, I don't think it was a good idea to trust you with her in the first place. You aren't fit to be a father Harry…"
She walked out the door without a look behind her and Harry felt as though the door was shutting on his life…
Harry awoke with a start.
It took him several moments to clear his muddled thoughts and focus on the dream. Had this been a sign for the future, or was this his active imagination working overtime? He rubbed his eyes and looked over at his alarm clock, it was just after one in the morning, and practice wouldn't start for another seven hours. He groaned and fell back on the pillow, staring up at the ceiling.
Harry had no idea how much time had passed while he stared at the ceiling trying to make sense of that dream. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't sleep again after that dream, he kept seeing Ginny's anger at him over and over again. He took a deep breath and released it, trying to calm himself into sleep. It wouldn't come. He couldn't use any of his normal tactics to lull him back into the dream realm, but what if he used something he hadn't tried in years? It was worth a shot.
He fixed his mind solely on Ginny and his connection to her. He called out softly, begging for her, and waiting for her answer. It had been so long that he had tried this, that he wasn't sure the connection still existed. He wasn't even sure he could find his way back to her in the dark, but he called out to her, begging for an affirmation of what they had once had. It came in a wave of flowery perfume and a gentle tug on his heart; he always knew her scent and her response because it was so familiar to him. It was as if she was sleeping right beside him on the bed, enveloping him in her freckled ivory arms and smoothing down his hair. She had done this for him on numerous occasions in the past, mostly when he couldn't sleep.
He knew this had to be the same connection his father had had to his mother. He knew that when a Potter male found his soul mate they formed a connection, something that ran so deep they could feel each others emotions. When he had visited Potter Manor the summer after his defeat of Voldemort he had had some interesting discussions with the House Elves there and they had shown him into his family library. It had included a family tree (a bit like Sirius's) and several books on the Potter Family legacy. Harry still wasn't sure if any other couple had ever comforted each other using their connection, but he didn't know where he would have been without it. Ginny had come to his rescue many times using their connection to discover his mood or even his state of being, she had saved his life more than once.
Tonight though, all he needed was to wrap her arms around him, to wrap her scent around him as he fell asleep. She was the missing puzzle piece in his life and he wasn't sure how to fit her back in, but something was going to have to shift because he had a new piece to add as well, and she had her mother's amazing brown eyes.
The weather was sunny and warm when Ginny and Natalie walked onto the Quidditch pitch. Natalie was staring opened mouthed at the players in the sky, she had never seen professionals play Quidditch, the closest she had ever come to seeing a game was watching her Uncle's and aunt's play on the weekends in the paddock. This was fast-paced, no foul Quidditch and her father was up there. Ginny could tell Natalie was looking for him, and she knew the instant she found him, because her eyes lit up and she grinned broadly.
"Momma look!" Natalie squealed excitedly as Harry made a spectacular dive after a tiny gold speck. He flew back up amidst cheers and whistles from his team. Natalie was cheering as though she had never seen Uncle Charlie or her mother ever catch the Snitch before during a game, but Ginny knew that her daughter was just enraptured by the grace and fluidity her father showed on a broom.
Harry seemed to hear his daughter's cheers and he turned around on his broom and spotted them down on the ground. Without a word to his team mates he flew down and landed a meter from Natalie and scooped her up into his arms. "Hi Natalie, Hey Ginny," he greeted both girls before kissing his daughter in greeting. He then turned and placed a kiss to Ginny's cheek before turning back to Natalie. Ginny blushed brilliantly when he turned away, quite thankful that he didn't mention it.
"How have you girls been?" he asked. Natalie began chattering happily to him, recounting her week since he had last seen her. Ginny watched Harry's face as he listened to his daughter tell him all about her new baby cousin Charlie, and how she had wanted to hold him and Ginny had told her that she was to little.
Ginny groaned but Natalie only had eyes for Harry. She had one hand fisted in his Quidditch robes; the possessiveness was not lost on Ginny, but either Harry didn't notice it, or he didn't care. He was giving his full attention to the little raven haired girl in his arms.
"Mommy and I missed you all week," she finished.
Neither Harry nor Ginny knew what to say to this but of information, but Harry immediately turned it to his advantage. He smiled widely at Ginny and then pressed a kiss to Natalie's forehead. "I missed you too," he said, but his eyes were for Ginny alone.
"Well, it's just that…" Ginny began, but she didn't know how to explain her daughter's remark away. She finally settled on the truth. "Yes Harry, I missed you."
A heat filled his eyes at her words and she felt her face grow warm. She still loved him, still wanted him. She was giving him the chance to prove his worth, to prove that he could be a father, and a husband. It was only fair… and, she admitted to herself, she desperately wanted him to succeed.
Natalie had captured the attention of the entire team, Ginny suddenly realized as everyone huddled around her daughter. They were all asking her questions, and taking turns holding her. Ginny could tell that Natalie was enjoying being the center of attention, she never got special treatment at Grandma Molly's, there were simply too many grandchildren.
Ginny looked around the group, searching for a familiar face while Harry was busy talking to his assistant captain. Her eyes rested on a face she knew both from life, and from the front page of the Daily Prophet. Malia Moon was staring straight at her, tears running down her face at the sight of Ginny and her daughter. Ginny crossed the distance between them and the two women stared at each other, neither quite sure what to say.
"If I caused you any hurt with my actions…" Malia finally choked out, but Ginny put a finger to her own lips.
"Don't apologize, Harry explained everything to me," Ginny confided. Malia uttered a small cry and fell into Ginny's arms sobbing. Neither of them realized that the attention had shifted from Natalie to them.
"I didn't know he had a daughter, he never told any of us," Malia sobbed. Ginny stood stroking the woman's hair. It seemed odd that only a few days ago she had hated her, but now she hurt for her, and for what she had gone through.
"It's all right, Harry didn't even know," Ginny explained soothingly.
Malia pulled out of Ginny's arms and looked at her as though she had never seen her before in her life. "Harry didn't know he had a daughter? How is that possible?"
Harry must have overheard the conversation because he stepped up behind Ginny and put his hand on her shoulder. "Ginny and I split up after I joined the Cannons," he said softly, "she didn't want me to give up my dreams of playing professional Quidditch to stay at home and raise a baby."
Malia's eyes flickered between Harry and Ginny and with a nod she excused herself to the locker room, knowing she had overstepped her boundaries. Ginny watched her retreating back with pity coursing through her. Malia's life was falling apart around her, a possible divorce from a man she couldn't live without and now the man she had thrown herself at in a desperate moment turned out to have a family. It was a lot to carry around with you.
Ginny put her hand to her shoulder and felt Harry's hand there; unthinkingly she wrapped her fingers around his and squeezed his hand gently. She wanted them to be a real family, Harry, Natalie and her. It was something she had dreamed of since the moment she discovered she was pregnant. Now her dream was possible, and she wasn't going to throw the chance away just because Malia was hurt.
Kyle Moon walked up to her, running his hand through his hair as If he had no strength left. "I'm sorry about Malia; she was so close to recovery. We were beginning to put our marriage back together when she found out about you and your daughter. Harry announced everything when he got back from the wedding," he sighed then, trying to come up with the right words.
A sudden thought occurred to Ginny and she knew exactly why Malia would have been upset to find out that Harry had a daughter, why she had been so odd around the subject of children. "Malia can't have children can she?"
Kyle nodded wearily, his pain and heartbreak etched onto his face. "All our lives we planned on having a big family. Both of us were only children and we wanted a house full of laughter and children. We have so much love to give, to share with a family. We were devastated when we discovered that we would never have any."
"Then she read the Daily Prophet article about you and Susan," Harry supplied. Kyle nodded again.
"She thought that I wanted to get rid of her… to find a woman who could have children, a real woman she called her. It killed her. Well… when Harry said he had a daughter…" he sighed.
"I'm so sorry," Ginny said softly though she knew it was inadequate for the pain they both felt. She felt Harry squeeze her shoulder and instinctively she moved backwards and into his arms. She felt them wrap around her, holding her tightly against him. It was like coming home.
"Kyle, you should go after her… remember what happened last time we left her in the locker room alone," Harry warned his friend. Kyle's eyes widened as he looked toward the building beside the field.
"She's alone?" he asked in a strangled voice. When Harry nodded Kyle ran as fast as he could, calling out his wife's name.
Ginny turned around in Harry's arms and gave him a quizzical look. "What happens when she is alone?"
"My first day of practice after the wedding, after I told the team about you and Natalie, Malia was the first to leave to go to the locker rooms. When we got there Kyle found her in the showers, naked and sitting on the floor, all the shower heads were on. We assumed she was trying to drown herself," Harry said wearily. Ginny knew her eyes were wide and horrified.
"Harry…" she began but he put a finger to her lips.
"Kyle and Malia have to deal with this on their own. You, Natalie and I have a dinner reservation in two hours and you both need to get ready," Harry said softly. She couldn't believe he was talking about dinner when Malia could be seriously hurt. He knew what she was worried and he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Don't worry about them Ginny, I placed a charm on the showers. Malia is probably just furious right now that she can't turn the shower on. I have to disarm the charm so we can all clean ourselves up. I'll pick you and Natalie up at the Burrow in ninety minutes."
Ginny grinned at Harry's brilliance, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Don't be late Genius… Natalie and I will be waiting."