A/N: Once again, many thanks to RenitaLeandra and Keladry Lupin for their fantastic betaing. Also many thanks to everyone who was happy to see this fic updated. It's so nice to know that you all are out there!
Chapter 15
The next few days were a blur for Hermione. Much of it was spent sleeping and resting in her room. Susan checked on her often, bringing her various potions from St. Mungo's. Harry and Ginny were also regular visitors in her room. Ginny was subdued these days; the loss of Bill and Ron so close together had been devastating, and she looked pale and withdrawn. Remus also visited her, although it was more in his official capacity as head of the Order. They had lengthy discussions about her experience at Riddle Manor, and she gave him as much information as she could.
The one person who did not visit her room, however, was Severus. It seemed he had forgotten about her entirely. She knew they had both been upset at their last confrontation, but, even so, she had hoped to see him. Every day that passed without his visiting, she felt more and more miserable. She had grown used to his visits when she was being held prisoner, and the days seemed long and lonely without him.
They continued to hold regular Order meetings, and she attended most of them when she was feeling up to it. Physically she was improving steadily, however she was having frequent nightmares that kept her from getting a full night's rest. She also found herself feeling edgy and easily startled. More than once, when she had been downstairs, she had been startled by someone coming up behind her and she found herself looking over her shoulder when alone in a room.
It was decided that ultimately it would be Harry who destroyed the Horcruxes. Both Severus and Remus checked them out extensively for all possible hexes and curses that might be on them. Harry told her one night that the cup had had the same curse on it that the ring had; although this time they were able to break it without incident. The wand also had several curses on it of varying degrees of seriousness. Finally, though, they were declared clean and ready to destroy.
Hermione was not present at the destruction of the Horcruxes, as much as she wanted to be. Both Remus and Harry argued with her and reminded her that she needed to be gaining her strength for the attack on Riddle Manor. In the end, according to both of them the next morning, the destruction had been fairly uneventful, considering what it was they were destroying. Both of them had been thrown into a fire at Hogwarts. The cup had melted into a pool of gold and the wand had been burnt to ashes.
Once the Horcruxes were destroyed, the plans began in earnest for the attack. There were almost constant meetings now as battle plans were being drawn. One evening, two weeks after Hermione had returned, they held a meeting at Hogwarts to go over the layout of Riddle Manor. It was her first trip back to the school since its partial destruction. She felt a mix of nervousness and sadness at the prospect of seeing it again.
She bathed and dressed in real robes for the first time in days and she was happy to see Susan waiting for her by the fireplace. The plan was to Floo directly to the Gryffindor common room, since it was the least damaged area of the school.
"Are you ready?" asked Susan cheerfully as Hermione came to join her. Hermione nodded and she gave her an appraising glance. "You'll need to be careful, travelling by Floo powder when you're still recovering. Hopefully you won't injure yourself further. How is your leg?"
Hermione's leg had been bothering her ever since her time at Riddle Manor. It seemed that one of the curses Bellatrix and Dolohov had thrown at her had broken it very badly and no matter what spells were performed, it refused to completely heal.
"Better, I guess. I suppose I'll never get rid of the limp entirely."
Susan smiled sympathetically. "You never know. Advances are being made in Healing every day. Come on, everyone else is already there. We don't want to be late."
Hermione reached over and took the jar of Floo powder from her, grabbed a handful of it and then threw it into the flames. She then stepped in and spoke clearly, "Gryffindor common room at Hogwarts."
Travelling by Floo was never her favourite form of transportation, but she realized that Susan was right. It was even more uncomfortable with her injuries. As she continued to spin, she felt her leg begin to ache, and her injured shoulder throbbed. Just as she thought she couldn't take it anymore, everything finally came to a stop and she collapsed out of the fireplace… and right into Severus Snape.
Without realizing what she was doing, she reached out grabbing a hold of anything she could. It was only after several tense moments that she realized it was Severus's robes.
"Sorry," she mumbled as she tried to right herself. His hands gripped her arms tightly and when she looked up, his eyes looked like a mixture of annoyance and concern.
"You're late," he grumbled and she glared at him.
"Sorry to keep everyone waiting," she said pulling herself away. Her leg was aching painfully and her limp was more pronounced as she made her way to an overstuffed chair in the corner; a moment later Susan joined them and also made her way to the corner.
"Well, now that everyone is here," Severus gave Hermione a pointed look which she met with narrowed eyes, "we can begin."
The next several hours were gruelling and exhausting. Although Hermione already had a general idea of the layout of the Manor, it was difficult emotionally to listen to Severus describe the different rooms where so many of her nightmares had come true. The entrance hall where Ron had died, the study where Bellatrix and Dolohov had nearly killed her, the library where she first heard of the attack on Hogwarts, and, of course, the dungeons where she had been held prisoner. When Severus had got to the bottom level of the Manor, his eyes had met hers more than once. Harry had also glanced toward her and she felt sick and uncomfortable. Finally the meeting came to an end and the group began to break up. Hermione remained sitting in the chair, too emotionally and physically exhausted to get up.
"Perhaps you should stay here tonight," Susan said as she rose from her own chair. "I don't think you could handle another trip back by Floo. I know Tonks is staying here, so you wouldn't be alone."
Hermione thought about it for a moment. She had been feeling confined, stuck at Grimmauld Place for the last two weeks, and it was true that she was not looking forward to the trip back.
"I suppose," she finally said. "I don't have any clothes here, though."
"I can get them for you," Ginny said coming over to join them. "I'm planning on staying here also. Grimmauld Place is getting a little too crowded for me. Besides, Hogwarts feels more like home."
Hermione smiled her thanks and both Ginny and Susan Flooed away. The common room was now empty and she moved to the couch where she could lay down, watching the flames flicker in the fireplace. She felt her eyes growing tired and she allowed them to close and for her mind to drift.
She was not sure how much time had passed, but just as she had fallen into a deep sleep, she suddenly jerked awake. She lay still, wondering what had caused her to wake, when she heard a noise behind her. Footsteps were slowly approaching her, and she tensed. Just how safe was Hogwarts, now that it had been so heavily damaged? What if the wards weren't in place as they all believed? For a moment she considered reaching for her wand but then, in a moment of panic, she remembered that she hadn't even brought her wand with her. Mentally she cursed herself. How could she have become so lax? What kind of a witch didn't take her wand with her at all times? Mad-Eye would have had a thing to say about that, were he still alive.
She lay as still as possible, listening. The footsteps had stopped; they were directly behind her. Suddenly she felt a hand on her arm and she screamed, jumping off the couch and lashing out as hard as she could.
"Bloody hell!" she heard the voice yell, and the person grabbed her arms, forcing them down. She continued to scream, trying to pull away, her terror so great that she did not stop to see who she was attacking.
"Stop it, Hermione!" the person shouted and suddenly she realized who it was. She stopped struggling and looked up into Severus's face. "What in the name of Merlin do you think you're doing?"
"I'm sorry," she said gasping for breath, so relieved that her legs began to give out. Severus managed to hold on to her to keep her from collapsing to the floor. "I thought… well, I didn't know what to think. I guess I thought someone was going to attack me."
"In the middle of the Gryffindor common room?" Severus said with an annoyed look.
"Fear is seldom rational, Professor!" Hermione spat out, feeling silly and childish at her behaviour. Yet she wondered what it would take for him to treat her with the kindness that he had shown at Riddle Manor. She pulled away from him and sat, shaking, on the couch. Her heartbeat was beginning to return to normal, but she feared that she would never again feel comfortable alone.
Severus did not reply right away. He saw the way her hands trembled as she tried running them through her tangled hair and the way her breathing was quick and shallow as if she was trying desperately to calm herself. Despite his mental warnings to just walk away and leave her alone, he knelt down next to her and took her shaking hands in his. She looked at him in surprise, but he said nothing; he just continued to hold her hands until they stopped shaking and her breathing had returned to normal.
"Susan says you have nightmares every night," Severus finally said when it was clear she was recovered.
Hermione felt a flare of annoyance. Why was Susan talking to him about her? "They're nothing," she said pulling her hands away from his. She was surprised at how they suddenly felt cold and empty.
"I am sorry that I could not protect you any more than what I did," Severus said, his eyes downcast and his voice bearing a strange quality to it. "All of this is my fault."
"No!" Hermione protested. "I know you did everything you could. I didn't mean what I said when I told you that you didn't understand. I was just tired and angry."
"Well, I do understand now," Severus said quietly. "I didn't realize what a target you had become for some of the Death Eaters. Most of them enjoy torturing Muggle-borns, but, for obvious reasons, have no interest in more… intimate forms of abuse. Apparently Dolohov was an exception."
Hermione shuddered and, as she remembered his hand on her throat and his foul breath in her face, she fought back a gag. Severus saw her and gently reached up and pulled her off the couch and onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her. It was more of a friendly gesture than a romantic one and relaxed Hermione as she rested against him.
"No one will ever hurt you again so long as I have a say," he said fiercely. "And I am glad that it was me who killed Dolohov."
Hermione felt herself shake again and Severus tightened his hold even more. Looking back now, he had vaguely registered her torn blouse when he had rescued her, but he had just assumed that it had been ruined somehow in the constant barrage of curses she was under.
They continued sitting on the floor, Hermione wrapped in his arms, for a long time until finally the fear of being discovered made them move.
"Come," Severus said pulling her to her feet. "Let me take you up to your room."
"But you can't," Hermione said as he helped her towards the staircase that took them to the girls' dormitory. "Men aren't allowed up there."
Severus just smiled. "I am shocked to discover there is something about Hogwarts you do not know. In general men are not allowed in the girls' dormitory, you are right. However, professors are allowed in all parts of the castle and, apparently, the castle still recognizes me as a professor."
As they made their way up the stairs, Hermione struggled with the long winding steps. Mentally she cursed her leg that had left her so weakened.
"Do you think we could stop a moment to rest?" she finally asked, her face flushed with embarrassment. She hated to admit her limitations, but she didn't think she could continue much longer.
For a moment Severus considered just picking her up and carrying her to her room, but he thought that perhaps that might make her feel even more helpless, so instead he just nodded and helped her to sit on the step. They were still sitting there when she saw Tonks and Ginny appear below them.
"Oh!" Ginny said, surprised to see them sitting there. "Are we… interrupting?"
"No!" Hermione said, perhaps a bit too loudly. "I was just resting. It's hard for me to make it all the way up the stairs by myself."
"Well, now that Tonks and Miss Weasley are here, I will allow them to help you the rest of the way," Severus said standing and helping Hermione up as well. He told himself he was imagining the disappointment in her eyes.
"Very well," she said brushing off her robes. "Thank you for your help." She hoped she sounded properly professional in front of the two curious women.
"It was my pleasure, Miss Granger." Severus's dark eyes were intense looking into hers and Hermione suddenly felt overly warm. She smiled at him and he turned, heading back down the steps; Tonks and Ginny stepping to the side for him to pass.
The two other women made their way up to her and Ginny let a small giggle escape her lips.
"Snape, Hermione?"
"Not a word," Hermione ground out, determinedly looking ahead as they helped her the rest of the way to their room.