A/N: Well, I told you I still had to work around Novak and I did. I hope you like the way I see things.

Chapter 39

When the suspension is over, time I get to spend with Catherine becomes almost nonexistent again. I saw her a couple of times but we didn't manage to talk for a very long time, sometimes I deliberately arrive even earlier at work in order to be able to see her, even for just a couple of minutes. But most times she's out in the field…

Today is one of those days I'm working on some lose ends three hours before my shift starts, however Catherine is out in the field. I don't know how much time has gone by when I see her walking past the lab I'm working in. She looks tired and in clear need of a drink to relax a bit. Strange she didn't walk in to say hi, maybe she didn't see me. I put away the evidence and decide to pay her a visit. I guess she's in her office…

I look inside but it's empty, I try the break room and the locker room but no Catherine. I could call her but I suppose she's out in the field again. Damn! I walk back to the break room and plop down on one of the couches, I pick up one of the magazines and start to read it. Some time later Grissom walks in and takes a cup of coffee, he smiles at me and asks what I'm reading. We discuss the article about new forensic equipment a bit and then he hands me a slip. Time to work!

When I'm finally back at the lab to deposit time sensitive evidence in various labs, I notice Catherine again. She can't see me, she looks tired and in need of some company. She walks over to Nick and Warrick who are also ready to leave, to go home or somewhere else… She asks them to go for a drink but they already have plans. They say goodbye and leave a very miserable looking Catherine. For a moment I consider walking over to her and talk to her, but I only have a couple of minutes before I have to get back to the scene.

She leaves and I go back.

When all the evidence that could be found is being processed, I grab a cup of coffee and sit down going over my file. I can't really do anything for the moment, just wait. Grissom sees me and walks over to me.

'Sara, good you're back. How is your case going?'

'Good, it's practically a slam dunk, the place was covered with evidence and Brass already has the suspect in custody, I'm just waiting to get the results.'

'So you could help me with a case, I had to call Catherine in because I'm shorthanded.' He waits expectantly for my reply.

Catherine working now…on a case…help her and Grissom…of course I'm in! 'No problem, what can I do?'

'Thanks, Catherine is going over the victim's clothes at this moment, could you help her?'

I smile and stand up, I grab another cup of coffee and exit the break room in search of the lab with Catherine in. I find her and hand her the cup of coffee, she's a bit surprised at first but excepts the coffee nonetheless. She smiles her gratitude though I note she's tensed. I sit down next to her and we process the clothes together.

I decide to lighten the mood a bit 'So, Judge Wilson tells me I'd have better luck with a blue suit than a gray suit. What is that? Do you think he meant that? Do you think he was flirting with me or ... ?'

It doesn't really work, she keeps processing and answers in a flat tone 'I thought judges were supposed to be color blind.'

'Yeah, right. That's cute.'

She tells me she found some particulate on the jacket and I tell her the pocket contents. When I mention a matchbook, she freezes for a moment and then looks really panicky. She asks if she can have a look at it and I show it to her wondering what makes her act this way. She stands up and backs away from me 'You know, I've got to go pick up Lindsey. Could you cover for me?'

Now she's acting really weird, but I comply 'Sure.' She heads out of the lab, thanking me. She moves quickly and I add 'Tell her I said "Hey"'. She nods and then disappears. I shake my head and return to the evidence.

I'm lying on my couch, resting. Suddenly someone is frantically knocking on my door, I turn the volume of my music down thinking it's an angry neighbor, but the knocking doesn't stop. The person on the other side is practically breaking down my door. I get up to see who's on the other side, I open my door ready to give whoever is standing there a piece of my mind until I spot Catherine.

She rushes past me and enters, I turn to look at her with what can only be a very puzzled expression. I know she acted weird during shift, but now she's frightening me. I hope nothing is wrong. When she looks at me she starts to cry, I walk over to her and pull her into a hug, rubbing her back in a soothing gesture and uttering sweet nothings in her ear.

A couple minutes later the crying subsides and she looks at me with a sad face, I smile at her but that only makes her start to cry again. Wrong move. I hold her closer, but she pushes me away gently. She cries harder, somehow I fear it's me that makes her cry. She was not crying when she was breaking down my door she started it when she looked at me then again when I smiled at her and now holding her is a no can do either. I'm at loss of what's wrong.

'I don't deserve this, I shouldn't even be here! You're the nicest person I know and I only hurt you… I don't deserve you, I'm a bad person! I should go.' She's hysterically pacing up and down, I shake my head and try to figure out what the hell is going on.

'Cath, sweetie you didn't hurt me.' she keeps pacing and doesn't acknowledge me 'Look at me, I'm fine.' I try to reassure her I'm alright, she looks at me and sees I'm okay though she shakes her head and starts pacing again.

'You're not alright, I hurt you. I'm evil. You should hate me!' I've had it, I definitely need to know what's going on here. I walk up to her and place my hands firmly on her waist stopping the pacing and forcing her to look up to me. When she finally does I see how red her eyes are.

'Please tell me what's going on, you're scaring me.' I plead her.

'I…I…I…' Her frantic sobbing makes her unable to utter a word.

'Cath, calm down. It's okay, just tell me slowly.'

She takes a couple of breaths and starts 'You know I love you, don't you?' I nod and she continues 'I'm so alone Sara, I can't be alone! I need you! I want you and every day I'm away from you I'm hurting deep inside, it's like a part of me is dead.' I listen to her but still don't understand where this is going, I decide to remain silent. 'Yesterday I had a case about betrayal and how far some people go and I freaked. I missed you more than ever, I wanted to talk to you but instead I went out to this bar and had a drink. A man walked over to me and started to talk to me, he was nice. He knew I was lonely and played into my need for human contact. I…I…' she starts to cry again and I have a pretty good idea what happened next and what makes her act this way. I smile at her and tell her to continue with my eyes.

'I kissed him, but I didn't want it. From the moment his lips touched mine, I knew it was wrong he was wrong. I wanted to feel your lips and no one else's. I pushed him away but he was convinced I was going to give him much more. And he … he got angry.' I pull her into a hug again and just hold her, I kiss the top of her head.

I'm not angry about this, I understand how she felt and I also understand her need for human contact, I know she needs it more than I do. I'm upset though that this bastard tried to hurt her. 'Cath, there is nothing wrong with wanting human contact. You didn't do anything wrong.'

'I did, I betrayed you.' She breathes out.

'No you didn't, we're not together you are allowed to kiss whoever you want.' I lock eyes with her and see how much my words have hurt her, I'm a real idiot sometimes. 'I love you and I want you to be mine more than anything I've ever wanted, but I made the mistake of letting you go…'

She silences me with her lips on mine, the kiss is deep and passionate. Months of wanting, loving and caring put into it. Her kiss tastes a little salty from all the tears she spilled but I don't mind, I run my tongue over her bottom lip and feel her tongue touch mine. We deepen the kiss even more only breaking it when we have to, in order to breathe. Catherine is the first to speak 'I have been yours for months, even years. I have been stupid…' I put a finger on her lips.

'Shh, we have both been stupid not seeing what others clearly could. I love you and I will never let you go again!' I kiss her once more and move us towards my bedroom. There I pull back the covers and tell her to lie down, she obeys silently. I lie down next to her and pull her close to me. Only moments later we both drift off.

Thanks for reading! I hope you're all happy now, I brought them back together :-)!