Klon

My first fan fic.
I don't own Carson or the members of SGA-1

A/N: Now I've seen "Sunday," I am very sad! And I will try to integrate my story with the actual episode.

Part 5

Andrew slowed down as he approached the cells.

He caught a glimpse of Michael and Merrick as they swept down the corridor away from the prisoners. Instinctively, Andrew jumped back into the shadows of an unused corridor, hiding himself as wraith guards began pulling the prisoners out of the cell. He could hear all of them arguing with the guards.

"If you aren't silent, we'll stun you again," one of the guards yelled. It wasn't long before Andrew heard the whine of the stunner, and two guards pulled an unconscious Ronon from the cell. Ronon was followed by his slightly less troublesome teammates surrounded by guards.

Andrew held his breath as the guards escorted Col. Sheppard directly past him, shoving the Colonel into a cell just a few meters away. The guards growled at the human before passing Andrew, still hidden in the shadows, on their way out of the prison wing of the ship.

Andrew stood watching as the man he knew paced back and forth in his cell mumbling to himself.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it! Why didn't I just take care of these people the first time? First Kolya kept popping up like a bad penny, and now Michael. I have got to start shooting first and asking questions later," John sneered as he savagely kicked the wall.

"Damn it, Carson! Why! I am so gonna make Michael pay for this!" John resumed his pacing, as his voice dropped down too low for Andrew to hear.

Andrew stood frozen in his spot. How am I gonna get back to my quarters now! Andrew wasn't ready to meet any of the Atlanteans yet, but now there was no choice, he couldn't stay hidden in the shadows forever, and if he went the other way, he knew he'd end up running into one of the others. His children were waiting for him.

He didn't know how long he stood there waiting, but finally he began to slink forward with his back pressed against the wall. John kept pacing and mumbling as Andrew moved slowly forward. Andrew almost thought he would make it past unnoticed when John froze and turned his sharp eyes on him.

They stood staring at each other, wide blue eyes meeting wide green eyes, both afraid to startle the other.

"Hello…Andrew," John said softly, holding his open hand out again in friendship. "I am not gonna hurt you. I wish you really knew me."

Andrew thought John looked sad, and that surprised him. His feelings were jumbled. The gentleness in John's voice and the openness of his face confused him, conflicting with every association he had of the colonel. Andrew didn't want to sneak away now; he found himself becoming more direct, his desire for answers outweighting his desire to hide.

"Who is Carson?" Andrew's voice was barely above a whisper.

John looked startled by the question but sighed before he answered. "Carson was the brother I never had. He died about six months ago, trying to save another man's life. He was a doctor, who healed a lot of people, and who touched every person's life he came in contact with. He had a great sense of humor – how else would he have put up with all of us? He was one of the finest men I ever met, and I miss him. You…remind us of him."

Andrew watched as the colonel turned slightly, looking just over Andrew shoulder. When John met the doctor's gaze again, he seemed a little more closed, as if he had raised barriers to protect himself from the grief.

"Why don't I remember him? I was on Atlantis too. Did he come after I left?" Andrew stepped up to the bars, directly in front of the colonel. John's hand twitched as he forced himself to resist reaching out to grab the man. Instead, John stepped closer until the stood almost nose to nose.

"It's complicated Cars…Andrew! I don't think you're ready for me to explain it yet. You have to understand something. Whatever you think you remember, it didn't happen that way. Michael is manipulating you. You have to know we would never hurt you, and we miss you as well as Carson," John added in an urgent but soothing voice. "We need your help getting out of this. You've help us so much in the past, it would by like old times to have you working with us again."

"Ye shouldn't say that about Lord Michael. He has tried to work with you before. Is it any wonder he can't trust ye know?" Andrew said, refusing to be sucked into the colonel's hypnotic voice that seemed to make him forget everything he was remembered. How I had longed to be friends with these people, to have them treat me like a friend, not an outsider to be used and manipulated. I won't let him draw me in!

"I have to leave," Andrew said, turning away quickly.

"Wait, I'm sorry! I don't mean to confuse you. I'm not trying to scare you! Carson, please!" John called after him, reaching through the bars.

Andrew paused and turned back, meeting his stare. "Tell me what happened on Hoff?"

"Oh G-d, Carson…Andrew. I'm sorry!" John staggered back from the bars as if Andrew had struck him. The silence echoed around them. John struggled with how he should face one of the darkest portions of Carson's life. "I blame myself for Hoff, more than you know. I dragged you there. I asked you to work on the drug. I brought the wraith there for the experiment. You met Perna there. I don't think you loved her, but you might have. You were so sad when she died. But it was the people of Hoff who need to take the blame for their own deaths. They voted to distribute the drug to their whole population. Your heart broke that day. I am so sorry. I wish I had never 'volunteered' you for Hoff."

Andrew was stunned, his memories didn't match the story John just told. He stared at the man in front of him. Why would he lie about Hoff? Is he telling the truth? Are my memories wrong? I'm so confused!

Andrew turned and almost ran back to his quarters.

Andrew yanked his door open and closed himself up in his sanctuary. He leaned back against the door, tears filling his eyes.

"Why are you crying, Andrew? Did the guards hurt you?" Traysha said, wrapping her arms around his waist.

He looked down into her dark brown expressive eyes, he saw so much love there. Those eyes reminded him of – Teyla? That doesn't match my memories either. Teyla's eyes didn't reflect love, but aggression…right? But why do I have this image of love associated with her. Andrew choked back a cry before hugging her back.

Brador stepped up with a look of fear in his eyes. "Are the guards going to kill us now?"

"Oh, no! I promise, I won't let anyone hurt ye. The pair of you is more important to me than anything!" But Andrew was taken aback again by the children's fear of the wraith. Am I missing something? Is it me that doesn't remember right?

Andrew felt his resolve to learn the truth gain strength.

TBC
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