8/4/05:
I AM OFFICIALLY BACK FROM JAPAN AND HAVING A HARD TIME.
I had so much fun, but am so in reverse culture shock. I miss my host mom and dad... I was reading everyone's reviews you left; I could read but not write on their computer.
To clarify one thing, no I am not Japanese, but I just spent the last six weeks in Matsue, Shimane prefecture, Japan, and I have spent the last four years studying my butt off in language. I had a host mom, dad, and white longhaired chihuahua, (who I could write about for pages), and my speaking was good enough as to where I used no English except when I couldn't find a big word. I made a life there like I could have here, and I miss it sooooo bad.
I don't wanna be anti-American, but we could so learn some things from other countries. Japan is just so efficient and un-wasteful, and they at least leave their porno crap where you don't have to see it if you don't want to. I'm not saying they're perfect, because no country is, but I don't think I can live here anymore. Japan is the place for me. I know it sounds stupid, but I can't live in America anymore. I'm dead serious. The country just brings out the best in me.
Japan was so condusive to creativity and interaction with others, at least where I lived. That lifestyle made me get outside, start exercising, eating better, doing more of my own chores, draw more, speak with people more, write more... I lost like seven pounds and any character torture pictures I might have drawn became these really beautiful pictures of magical looking elemental elf guys and girls. Coincidence? I think not.
Here, my faithful reviewers, is what I was writing for you while in Japanese high school.
Also, to my one confused reader: This is a live-action movie starring Jpop/rock stars Gackt (pronounced in Japanese, Gahk-to) and Hyde from L'arc en Ciel. Not an anime. But thanks for the compliment! I'm glad you could enjoy it without knowing the movie! (Watch it tho, it's a good movie. SO SAD! But good movie.)
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
CHAPTER TWO
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"Chikusho!"
Sho slammed his fist against the metal rail, making the entire staircase echo with his anger. Dammit, why can't people travel alone anymore? Do they have to bring two or more friends with them all the time! Stupid.
The young Japanese ground his teeth and jammed his hands into his black leather pockets, nearly snapping a finger in two as he did so. Kei was lying there back home consumed with burning pain and hunger, no one but a traumatized Toshi to keep him company, and here he was wandering the back alleys of a shopping center in the red, setting sunlight.
Stupid!
"Dammit! At this rate I'll have to bring him a dog or something," he muttered. Sho had been hunting for worthy prey to take back with him, but everyone around him was either an innocent young girl, or a Chinese thug with five friends, all packing weapons and probably involved in drug cartels. This isn't going to work. I've been at this for three hours and Kei's back at the apartment, starving...
A thought hit him suddenly.
Starving. With only Toshi for company.
"Oh, shit!"
Sho's yelled expletive startled a trio of teenage girls walking nearby, and he literally shoved them out of the way as he pelted down the cement back to the complex. He prayed he hadn't left the two of them alone too long to stop anything horrible from happening.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"Kei...? Kei?"
There was a blob of color above his head: orange and white and tan, talking to him. Sweat was dripping into his eyes, so he blinked a few times to clear them, staring up at the head in his line of vision. God, it hurt.
"Toshi?" he rasped quietly, just making sure.
"Yeah, it's me. Can I get you anything?"
Yes. "...No."
Toshi sat down on the end of the couch, taking off his cap with a sigh. Things were quiet; it was dusk, but still too bright outside to open the drapes. "I'm so sorry Kei. It's all my fault," Toshi lamented in earnest. "I should have been watching Son more closely, and the drapes..." He went silent, lost in thought. "...I really am sorry."
More silence.
"Does... does it hurt a lot?"
No sense not telling the truth; he'd figure it out anyway. "Yes."
Toshi winced in sympathy and guilt. More silence. Finally:
"...Toshi?"
"Huh?"
"...It wasn't your fault."
Toshi blinked, turning on the couch slightly to face him. Kei was staring at the wall, his head turned to the side.
"But... I--"
"I know. But it's not your fault. And it's not Son's, either," Kei murmured. "It was an accident. That's all."
Toshi was silent awhile. "Are you going to be all right?" he asked finally.
"...Am I--"
"The truth, Kei. I want to know if you'll be all right." Toshi's demeanor was unusually serious, and he was facing away from him now. "Kei?"
"..."
"Kei, answer me!"
Toshi whirled around and grabbed Kei's uninjured arm, anger and fear in his voice. The touch startled him, making Kei look up sharply-- just in time to be eye-level with Toshi's bare neck.
From there, it was over. Kei was completely fixated on that one point, unable to help himself as the trance drew him deeper. His mouth dropped open slowly, and his eyes were literally glowing with an all-consuming want-- no, need. Toshi took one look at him, realized in horror what he'd just done and let go of Kei's arm, rising to his feet and backing up a pace.
"Kei?"
He didn't answer. Toshi felt a chill run down his spine, making him shiver as Kei's predatory eyes roved over his jugular.
"Kei? Hey, Kei, wake up!" Still no answer.
Kei's good hand was gripping the edge of the cushion, and Toshi heard a popping sound as his fingers broke straight through the thick leather with the pressure being applied. Toshi found himself frozen, trembling in fear of his childhood friend and completely unable to move away from those burning, unfamiliar yellow eyes.
"Kei. Kei, please, snap out of it," Toshi found himself pleading. "Kei!
"KEI!"
At that point Sho burst into the apartment, startling the two of them by throwing the front door open practically off its hinges and ricocheting it off the back wall, nearly hitting him when it came back. Sho stood there just inside the doorway, gasping for breath and hunched over with his hands steadied on his knees, blue eyes wide and staring.
Kei's eyes lost their glow and he stood stock-still where he'd sat up on the couch, intending to reaching for Toshi.
"Sh-Sho," he whispered. Abruptly his vision swam and when he regained his senses, Sho was kneeling at the bedside, holding him upright on his shoulder.
"It's okay, it's okay," Sho whispered, his breath still slightly heavy. "Shh, don't talk, just-- That's it, shh--"
Toshi had backed away into the living room, where he was watching the proceedings with more than a little adrenaline still rushing through his system. The look in Kei's eyes had left him reeling; there was no doubt in his mind about how serious that situation had become. Sho laid Kei back onto the couch, grasping his hand as weakly as Kei was grasping his, so as not to make him feel trapped or threatened, but still holding on.
"I'm so sorry, Kei, I couldn't find anyone," Sho told him, his face inches from Kei's.
Kei closed his eyes in momentary despair. There was no way he could take on a prospective victim in this weakened state, and Sho hadn't succeeded.
And he was-- just so hungry--
"Kei?" The vampire looked up at him, his gaze more pleading than he'd intended it to be, and Sho stared down at him with a fierce determination and fear blazing from behind his blue eyes. "Wait here," he said finally, rising and removing his hand from Kei's grip.
The prone man heard Sho walk Toshi to the door and say goodnight, and something about having to talk later, but the door shut firmly, the rattle of lock-chains confirming it before Sho began wandering around the kitchen. A wave of hunger-induced nausea and pain from the burn wounds made him moan slightly, and he shut his eyes to a lullabye of clattering kitchen tools as Sho searched for something...
He was almost asleep when a loud clang from the kitchen and a soft uttered noise made him come awake--
--A clang that sounded an awful lot like a dropped butcher knife.
Ignoring the pain and driven by fear, Kei wrenched his left arm off of his chest and planted it firmly beneath him, lifting himself up so he could see over the counter into the kitchen-- and saw Sho, holding a slit wrist over a bowl, dripping, pouring blood into the container.
"Sho, NO! What are you--"
Kei swooned as the scent of fresh blood hit him, and the arm holding him up shook violently, lowering him as the hunger came back in waves.
"You're dying, Kei. You're dying, and I have the very thing that can save you right within my grasp," Sho said gravely. "If you think I won't use it, you're crazy."
I'M crazy? I'M crazy, and you're the one whose arm is dripping into a bowl?
"Sh-Sho-- I-- Sho, you can't--"
"Stop it, Kei. If you don't drink it now it'll just go to waste."
That's true. Dammit. "Sho-- I may not be able to stop," Kei whispered. "I don't want to hurt you... I-I don't want--" I don't want to kill you.
"I trust you, Kei. Even if you don't trust yourself."
Sho tied off his wrist with a strip of cloth from somewhere and picked up the bowl. He sat on the edge of Kei's couch, the deep red liquid in the bowl swirling temptingly. Kei was utterly still on the couch, his eyes glued on the bowl, refusing to move for fear of tackling the man.
Sho put the rim of the bowl to Kei's lips. "Drink."
That was all it took to remove the last of his self-control. Kei leaned forward and grasped the bowl as the edge of a cliff, downing the bowl in nearly four swallows. He proceeded to lick the bowl completely clean, catching any drips that had fallen on his face or hands. Sho sat on the couch next to him, his face pale but contented as he watched Kei devour his blood. His hands were shaking, but he smiled as he saw his friend's wounds begin to heal.
"You look better," he commented.
Kei was too absorbed in the feeling of sating that hunger to notice, but it was true: his burns were lightening to a pinkish-brown from their earlier, horribly blackened state. He lowered the bowl once there was nothing left and looked up at Sho.
"Do you need more?" he asked.
Kei considered this. "I... don't know."
The hunger that lingered in his gaze answered for him. Sho unbound his wrist from the cloth and offered it to him.
"Here."
Kei couldn't take his brightened eyes off of Sho's beautifully red wrist, but he didn't move. Sho saw his hesitation and acted for him, pressing his broken skin against Kei's mouth.
The vampire complied immediately.
Sho hissed slightly as Kei latched onto his wrist as though it were made of gold, gripping it tightly in both hands and closing his mouth over the wound. His teeth had grazed him, and Sho could feel Kei's fingers bruising the skin, making him cry out, but Kei paid no heed. He couldn't hear anything over the rush of blood.
Oh bliss, oh ecstasy! The unbelievable pleasure of a warm feed, a live host! And it was Sho, the Sho he raised, the Sho he cared for from childhood. Kei was lost entirely in the connection, the joy of that crimson river, the feeling of completion...
It may have been hours, it may have been minutes, but an eternity later, Kei's eyes snapped open at a soft utterance:
"Uhn... K-Kei...?"
Kei turned his head toward Sho-- and gasped in horror.
Sho's face was paper white in a severe contrast against his black shirt, and his eyes were half closed as his head lolled back with weakness. He was upright and swaying, but finally when his eyes closed entirely he pitched backwards, landing halfway on the couch and slipping from Kei's grasp to land sprawled on the hard floor.
"SHO!" Kei screamed, dropping to his knees beside him and pulling him into his lap. 'Oh my God, oh my God I've killed him--'
"Uhn... mn... K...Ke...i...?" The young Japanese' hand moved a little, the fingers curling into his palm slowly.
'Oh thank you, THANK YOU--' "Sho, you gotta stay awake, you hear me, don't go to sleep! Don't you die on me, Sho--"
Sho moaned and his head lolled onto his shoulder as he tried to move and failed.
'Oh God, what am I going to do! I've gotta get him to a hospital, or a doctor or something--'
"Hello, Sho? Kei? Anyone home?" Toshi's voice lilted through the front hallway and Kei whipped his head towards the door just as Toshi walked in on the scene: Sho lying collapsed on the floor, white as a sheet and seemingly dead with Kei hovering over him, his lips smeared with blood.
His face went pale. "Sho! What did you do to him!" Toshi slid in on his knees and snatched Sho away, saving him from who he thought was his murderer.
Kei's eyes were haunted and sorely afraid. "I-- I didn't mean to-- I-I told him we shouldn't, that it was dangerous, but he--"
"Nn... To...shi... That you...?"
"Don't worry, Sho, I'm gonna get you out of here, he can't hurt you anymore--"
Kei's heart contracted.
"Toshi." Sho's voice was forceful, or at least as forceful as it could be under the circumstances, echoing dully over the tile. He forced his eyes open long enough to give Toshi a serious stare. "Don't you dare... blame him for this... I offered... to... You hear...? ...not his... fault... hn..."
Sho's eyes slid closed and Toshi and Kei were by themselves, trying not to look at each other.
"I... have to get him to a hospital." Toshi's voice was subdued. "I'll go now and come back for you after dark. All right?"
Kei nodded numbly, his eyes still fixed on Sho's serene white face.
Toshi left with Sho draped over his shoulder, slamming the door and leaving Kei completely, utterly alone on the cold tile floor. Kei didn't get up, didn't move. The one thing he had always feared, the thing he'd always warned Sho about, had finally happened.
Kei sat down with his back against the wall, knees pulled up to his chest.
He put his head in his hands... and cried.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
See there? I am alive!
And not punctual as usual, or you would have thought someone had stolen my author's name.
I will post more later, I just haven't had ANY time recently. Next post is halfway written, so hopefully... if you review... I'll update... soon?
Em