Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, although that'd be cool!

It was strange, how they each took a second to realize that they worked at the same hospital. He overlooked it at first, glancing up to meet her eyes briefly before turning back down to his patient's chart. A few moments went by, moments that she took to get a good look at the reactions flitting across his face; the shock, the confusion, the slight upturn of his lips in, what she assumed, was amusement.

She had started to back away, back into the elevator, when his eyes had migrated once more to hers. Christina had blocked her path, pushing her forward roughly and throwing her a glare.

"What's wrong with you?" she had hissed into Meredith's ear, "You're going to make me look bad."

He started to move towards them after a brief exchange of words with another doctor in the same dark blue scrubs that he wore but she couldn't get her feet to move, no matter how much she wanted to; no matter how much the woman next to her wanted her to. Her feet were rooted to the floor, only stubbornly beginning to trudge forward when a firm hand gripped her elbow, half-dragging half-lifting her down the hallway. Christina grunted with the effort and heaved a sigh of relief when Meredith's feet started to regain control. She let her arms drop to her sides lazily, throwing a sidelong warning glance to Meredith before turning eagerly to Dr. Shepherd and holding out her hand.

"Dr. Shepherd, I'm Christina Yang. Your intern? I just want to let you know that I have a stack of medical journals on my bedside table with articles about you in them and that I'm extremely grateful to have the privilege to work under you."

He didn't seem to be listening to her, because his eyes were locked on the other intern, on the intern that he had sex with last night. His eyes crinkled, absently grasping onto Christina's hand and refusing to look away from Meredith.

She wanted to run away, wanted to transfer to Mercy West or some other hospital that didn't employ any of her previous one-night stands.

"Nice to meet you Dr. Yang. And you are…."

His eyes wouldn't leave her face, even as the woman next to her was nearly bouncing on her toes with anticipation. She didn't like the way he was looking at her, that deep, personal look that men got when they'd seen her naked.

"Dr. Grey," she said shortly, refusing to meet his gaze, "do we know what's causing the seizures?"

"No," he said, a smile bleeding through his voice, "I leave that up to you two."

--

He thought about her sometimes; her blonde hair and green eyes, the way she laughed at almost everything he said, the way he hadn't noticed when she stopped laughing the week before prom.

It had taken him a while to stop comparing every girlfriend to her and picturing her face whenever he felt lost. It had taken him a while, but he had done it, and now he was okay, really, because she was a part of his past, and the woman waiting for him back at his apartment was his future. The woman whom he barely knew, flicking absently through channels with a dull, bored expression splayed across her features.

The bar was lonely, most of the other customers had already gotten cabs or gone home to their wives, everyone but him and another shadowy man a couple of stools over.

He couldn't help wishing she was here, too, even nearly a decade later, while he kicked back shots that stung his throat and made his eyes water.

It wasn't that he still missed her, it was that he missed the idea of her- the way she had looked at him and the way he had looked at her.

He missed that, and he didn't know how he could stop missing it. How do you go about forgetting your first love? How do you move on when that person introduced you to everything? How do you get past the person who once was your everything?

He closed his eyes, burning with heat from the alcohol and the memory of her.

He wasn't always this nostalgic, but somehow, with three shot glasses of her preferred poison laid out in front of him in a grungy bar hidden in a dark alleyway, he began to think back to everything that had gone wrong, and why it was his fault.

AN: So I'm doing short chapters, because somehow it just worked out like that. Sorry. Keep reviewing, though, because reviews make me happy!!