A/N: This is probably the funnest thing to do in this world. I LOVE IT! Okiedoke, this is a pardoy of "How Do I Get Back To College?" from Avenue Q.
Mimi: I WISH I COULD GO BACK TO BROADWAY…
LIFE WAS SO SIMPLE THOSE DAYS
Maureen: WHAT WOULD I DO
TO GO BACK AND MOO
IN A THEATER WITH FANGIRLS
AND GAYS
Both: (sigh)
Joanne: I WISH I COULD GO BACK TO BROADWAY
BACK THERE, I HAD MORE THAN ONE SONG
BACK UP ON THE STAGE
I WAS ALL THE RAGE
AND YOU COULDN'T IGNORE ME FOR LOOOOOOOONG
All: HOW DO WE GO BACK TO BROADWAY?
FUCK THE MOVIE, IT'S WRECKING OUR WORLD
Mimi: I WANNA WEAR SPARKLY BLUE PANTS
AND SING MY ASS OFF
AND HUMP POLES TO MAKE MEN'S TOES CURL
WHOOA-WHOOA-WHOOA
Maureen: I WISH I COULD SING ABOUT SEX
Joanne: OR IN "HAPPY NEW YEAR"
Mimi: SWEAR ALL I WANTED
Maureen: CALL FOR WINE AND BEER
All: WE NEED TO SING WITH FIFTEEN PEOPLE ABOUT MINUTES IN YEARS
WE COULD BE
SINGING AT THE NEDERLANDER
GETTING DAPH' AND ADAM ON NEWSWEEK, OH MY
CURSING THE MOVIE AND ALL OF ITS MAKERS
AND PELT THEM WITH BOTTLES WHEN THEY ASK WHHHYYYY
WE WISH WE COULD GO BACK TO BROADWAY
PLEASE GOD, JUST GET US TO BROADWAY
AAA-AAA-AAA-AAH
Maureen: I WISH "CHRISTMAS BELLS" WOULD COME BAA-ACK
Joanne: BUT IF I WERE TO GET BACK TO BROADWAY
Mimi: THEY WOULD SCORN US WITHOUT ANY QUALMS
Both: WE'RE A BLAST FROM THE PAST
BUT FACE IT: THEY'D ASK
"WHAT HAPPENED TO MS. DAWSON AND MS. THO-OOO-OOO- OOOMS?"