Cameron took Christopher into a nearby restroom in order to change his diaper. The two interns they ran into immediately commented on the rank smell that wafted into their sinuses while they went gaga over the baby.

After taking baby wipes, a clean baby-sized shirt and a fresh diaper out of the bag, she set up the baby changing station and placed Christopher on it. She peeled off the Mickey Mouse t-shirt and replaced it with the navy blue Baby Guess t-shirt.

As she finished fixing up Christopher's clothes, Cameron mused at Blythe House's generosity when a large box filled with baby clothes was delivered last week…

--

Two weeks ago

Cameron's return to the Department of Diagnostics was officially celebrated at the new flat shared by Foreman and his new girlfriend, a cute blond nurse named Wendy. House and Wilson were also invited to the late afternoon shindig, which was approved by Cuddy after the team successfully treated the autistic boy, Dominic, of Baylisascaris.

It was also House's month-long anniversary as a nightly guest at Cameron and Wilson's house. Cameron was thankful that Wilson decided not to comment whenever she and House disappeared into her room. After all, she didn't comment much about Wilson's impromptu visits to Cuddy's house.

The doorbell rang relentlessly, signaling the arrival of the remaining two people invited to the impromptu party. When Chase answered the door, only House stood on the other side.

"What happened to Wilson?" Chase asked.

"He stood me up," House said, pouting and widening his blue eyes for effect as he entered the flat. He stood in the middle of the living room, raised his cane like a prophet of doom, and loudly declared, "Let it be known that James Wilson stood me up! I will never understand men!"

"Hear, hear!" Wendy and Cameron yelled behind him. Chase snorted loudly when House pretended to flip his hair and announced, "I'm a lesbian from now on!"

Cameron tried not to notice as House fixed her with a lecherous eyebrow-raising when he made that "announcement".

Foreman sat next to his girlfriend, rolling his eyes as he chugged a bottle of Budweiser. Wendy had Christopher in her lap; the baby wore a bright yellow shirt with a blue monster truck in the front, a pair of baby-sized jeans, and tiny red-and-white sneakers. His mother sat next to Wendy, looking at the outfit from time to time with a strange expression on her face. It had been there since House offered to dress up Christopher that morning.

--

That morning…

"What—where'd you get this?" Cameron demanded after she rediscovered the power of speech.

"This?" House asked, lifting Christopher high in the air; Christopher squealed and drooled all over his plastic red donut. "Got it from www dot GRAVEDIGGER dot com. Makes him look manlier than putting him in those baby clothes."

Cameron's eyes widened as she took her baby from House's clutches. "That's because he is a baby! What else did you buy him? A trucker cap? A beer bottle-shaped pacifier?"

"Now that you mentioned it…"

In the kitchen, Wilson snorted into his waffles.

--

House took his place next to Cameron. Christopher had elected to return to her lap and was now trying to grab the business end of the beer bottle she was holding.

"That's the spirit, Nemo!" House said in a deep, gravelly Texan voice. "Chug some beer—it'll grow some hair on your chest!" To Cameron: "Told you that shirt will make a man out of him; Disney and Nickelodeon were turning him into a wuss!"

Cameron gave House an exasperated look before successfully wrestling the bottle from Christopher's grasp. The baby gave a shrill cry of protest until House showed him the handle of his cane. Christopher immediately stopped crying and grabbed the cane with both chubby hands.

"Nemo?" Wendy asked, looking in amusement as Christopher tried to lift up the cane.

Cameron shrugged and nodded towards House. House pretended to mull it over, rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out for emphasis. Wendy chuckled; Christopher was now moving the cane from side to side, cooing.

House finally answered: "What can I say? I'm a sucker for touchy-feely father and son fish stories…"

--

Meanwhile…

Wilson unlocked the door to the house he rented with Cameron and wedged a doorstop under it.

"You go on in, Mrs. House," Wilson said. "I'll go help Mr. House with the bags."

"Thank you, James," Blythe House replied, squeezing Wilson's hand in gratitude before entering the house. "Honestly, you didn't have to offer to set us up here at your house to surprise—oh!"

Wilson and John House appeared behind her, lugging two suitcases and two carry-on bags. "Blythe, what's wrong?" John asked curtly.

Wilson looked up and winced: he forgot to put away Christopher's playpen from the living room.

John and Blythe turned to him with identical looks of bewilderment.

Blythe was the first to speak, "James—you and Dr. Cameron…?"

"I can explain!"

--

House and Cameron left Foreman's flat two hours later. Christopher was dozing peacefully in his car seat. A scowling House was looking ahead from the passenger side of the car, arms crossed. Cameron was driving, trying to concentrate on getting back to the house and not dwell on something aside from the noxious smell of barf—something niggling at her conscience. All four windows in Cameron's Tucson Blue were partially open to let the air circulate during the trek home.

"The kid really has it in for me, hasn't he?" House grumbled.

"Oh, he does not," Cameron chided, relieved that House broke the silence this time. "It's just that he's got excellent timing where you're concerned."

"Timing?! He's been planning on throwing up at me ever since Chase started feeding him poisoned pastry."

Cameron shook her head, grinning. "The apple pie was not poison; we all ate it…"

"It could be poison for an innocent child!"

"Well, it could also be motion sickness after Foreman gave him that piggyback ride around the living room after Chase fed him some pie."

House huffed and turned around to look at Christopher, still sleeping in the back seat.

"All right—FOREMAN and CHASE have it in for me…"

Add Wilson and Cameron to your list, Greg, Cameron thought wryly. I wonder if Wilson remembered to put the playpen away.

--

The next turn of events happened in slow motion when House and Cameron walked through the front door, with a half-awake Christopher draped across his mother's shoulder.

At least, it was for House…

First: Blythe said in greeting, "Happy Birthday, Greg! Oh, good Lord, what happened to your shirt?!"

House replied, "Went into an argument with a midget—the midget won."

Next thing he heard: "Oh—oh my goodness!"

Four different people cried out:

"Blythe!"

"Mom!"

"Mrs. House!" (Wilson and Cameron)

Last: Christopher began to cry.

--

Cuddy called Wilson that night.

The moment Wilson answered, Cuddy lost no time in interrogating him. "So, how did it go?"

"I missed you too," Wilson replied dryly. Cuddy smiled and waited for Wilson's answer.

"Mrs. House had the benefit of having three doctors coming to her aid after taking a good look at Christopher."

"Whoa."

"It's like she saw a ghost."

"I can't say I blame the poor woman."

"I'm—not going to comment on that."

"And?"

"Well, we revived Mrs. House, Mr. House nearly tore up my eardrums with demands for answers, and House left Cameron and me to do some explaining while House changed into one of my shirts."

"Why'd he change shirts?"

"Christopher puked on him."

Cuddy snorted with laughter. "Bet he just loved that. Remind me to give Cameron a gift certificate at Toys R Us within this week."

Wilson grinned on his end of the line. "Sure thing. Look, can I take a rain check on our 'meeting' tonight. Someone has to make sure that House and his dad won't kill each other…"

"Okay," Cuddy said softly. "Good luck with that."

She had decided to inform Wilson tomorrow.

--

"He still has his mother's name."

It was the first thing John House said the moment Greg emerged from the bathroom. House had changed back into his freshly laundered shirt after fetching it from the dryer.

"That's funny," Greg answered in a flat voice. "I thought his name was Christopher, not Allison."

"Don't be smart with me, Greg…"

"What, you want me to play dumb?"

"That's enough!"

The two House men turned around at Blythe's sharp tone of voice. She was carrying Christopher in her arms, who had stopped gnawing at his favorite red plastic donut when the voices of his father and grandfather began to escalate.

"Let it go, John," Blythe said in a tired voice. She shifted Christopher in her arms and placed two fingers on John's lips when he attempted to speak. "It's up to Greg and Allison now—let them work it out for themselves."

"But—"

"If it is up to us, we'll do it. This time, let them work it out. After all, they are Christopher's parents."

John stared into Blythe's eyes and looked into his grandson's face before he huffed and turned away.

House waited until his father left the vicinity to look at his mother.

"Do I need to marry Cameron to make this all better?"

Blythe sighed and lifted Christopher up until she was looking into eyes identical to hers and Greg's. "We're in the 21st century now, Greg; it's a different world today. I'd like to think that I'm open-minded about these things, but I'd also like to be assured that you'll give me more grandchildren after Christopher."

She kissed Christopher on the forehead and left cheek before handing him over to House. Blythe then reached out to take her son's face between graceful hands—House had to bend over in order to look at her in the eye—and said, "Fix this, and don't mess this up."

Mother and son grinned while Christopher looked on.

--

A/N: I played around with the timeline a bit—Foreman and Wendy and the kid with raccoon worms—as well as Cuddy's leniency. Chalk the last one up to Wilson's "visitations". Plus, I have no idea what I just did with the timeline in this fic. Curse this caffeine withdrawal!