A/N: Well, here's another one! This one is sort of weird and complicated and hard to work out, but here it is...in a way. Oh well. It's from "What Do You Do With a BA in English/It Sucks To Be Me" from Avenue Q. Oh...and if you have any requests about songs for me to do, just put it in your review! I'd be glad for input.
Mark: WHAT DO YOU DO
WITH A CAMERA AND SCARFY?
I STILL HAVEN'T FIGURED THAT OUT
ELEVEN YEARS GONE BY
AND I CANNOT SEE WHY
THESE PROPS HAVE NOT YET BEEN THROWN OOOUUT
MY CAMERA IS ANCIENT
THEY SAY JUST BE PATIENT
A NEW ONE IS COMING FROM SOOOO-NYYY
BUT THE DAMN SCARF'S THE WORST ONE
THE FANGIRLS, THEY HAVE FUN
TRYING TO STEAL IT FROM MEEEEEE
Roger: Hey, Maureen.
Maureen: Hi, Roger. How's life?
Roger: Annoying. I keep getting mobbed by fangirls.
Maureen: Oh, me too.
Roger: But you don't know the worst of it. It's…well, never mind.
Maureen: What?
Roger: No, you don't want to know.
Maureen: Oh, come on.
Roger: Hmmm…
I DATED APRIL
WE HAD SOME FUN WITH SMACK
AND THEN SHE KILLED HERSE-E-ELF
AFTER STABBING ME IN THE BACK
WITHDRAWAL KILLED
AND I COULDN'T GET OVER THE LACK
OF DRUGS
DAMN HER!
IT SUCKS TO BE CLEAN
IT SUCKS TO BE CLEAN
IT SUCKS TO BE ON THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW
'CAUSE IT MAKES ME MEAN
IT SUCKS TO BE CLEAN!
Maureen: You think you have a problem? You're nothing compared to me!
I'VE GOT A GIRLFRIEND
SHE'S REALLY GREAT IN BED
SHE UNDERSTANDS MY BITCHINESS
AND IT MEANS NO MORE GIVING HEAD!
SO WHY ARE WE ALWAYS WISHING
THAT THE OTHER WAS DEAD?
WE FIGHT
ALL DAY
IT SUCKS TO BE GAY
IT SUCKS TO BE GAY
IT SUCKS TO BE LESBIANS
WHO HATE EACH OTHER'S GUTS
'CAUSE HEY
IT SUCKS TO BE GAY!
Both: IT SUCKS TO BE ROGER
AND MO
TO NOT HAVE MY DRUGS
TO FIGHT LOTS WITH JO
IT SUCKS TO BE US!
Collins: The fangirls tried to jump me again!
Angel: I know, honey, I'm so sorry.
Collins: Make them stop, make them stop!
Roger: Hey, Collins, Angel, can you guys help us out?
Angel: Sure.
Collins: Certainly.
Maureen: What sucks most: being gay or an ex-junkie?
Angel: Neither!
I'M REALLY AWESOME
I THINK WE ALL CAN AGREE
Collins: AND I AM JUST AS COOL
WE ARE BOTH SO GREAT, YOU SEE
Both: AND YET WE HAVE TO GROAN AND BITCH
ABOUT TAKING OUR AZT
OH, WE'RE THE GODDAMN PITY PAIRING
Angel: NO ONE CARES 'BOUT WHAT I'M WEARING
Both: WE BOTH HAVE BEEPERS
THEY GO OFF ALL THE TIME
AZT COSTS LOADS OF MONEY
YET KIDS BUY CONDOMS TEN-A-DIME
AND NOW WE'RE SO DEPRESSING
AS WE LOOK FOR ONE MORE RYHME
ACT UP
FIGHT AIDS
IT SUCKS TO HAVE AIDS
Maureen: IT SUCKS TO BE GAY
Roger: IT SUCKS TO BE CLEAN
All: IS THERE ANYBODY WHO CAN KNOW JUST WHAT WE MEAN?
Mimi: What're you guys laughing about?
Maureen: All our problems.
Mimi: You think you have problems? You all have the same problems in and out of the movie and musical! You're the same goddamn people in and out of the movie and musical! But me…oh, no never!
WAY BACK ON BROADWAY
DAPHNE PLAYED MY PART
NOMINATED FOR A TONY
SHE WON NEW YORK CITY'S HEART
BUT THEN ROSARIO JUST HAS TO
BREAK ALL THAT APART
SO NOW
I HAVE TWO IDENTITIES
AND PEOPLE GET THEM MIXED UP
IN ALL THE FANFICS
SO I HAVE MULTI-PERSONALITY DISORDER
AND ROSIE SHRIEKS, BUT DAPHNE'S SHORTER!
IT SUCKS TO BE TWO
IT SUCKS TO BE TWO
IT SUCKS TO BE DAPHNE, ROSIE, MELANIE, ANTONIQUE, TAMYRA, KARMINE, KYRSTEN, JAMIE, MARCY, AND KRYSTAL…
WELL, THAT'S MORE THAN TWO
Mark: Hey, everyone, what's with the party?
Mimi: We're all talking about our issues as characters.
Mark: Well, I have way too many to count, we all know that…but hey, where's Joanne?
Collins: I'll call her. YO, JOANNE!
Joanne: I'm coming, I'm coming!...Where's the fire?
Roger: No fire…but we're wondering what you think is the worst thing about being a RENT character.
Joanne: Whoa, don't get me started!
MY PARENTS BUG ME
MY GIRLFRIEND LOVES TO CHEAT
AND WHEN THE FANGIRLS TRY TO JUMP US
THEY TRAMPLE ME UNDER THEIR FEET
I'M NOT A TOTAL BITCH
BUT NOR AM I SWEET
I'M IGNORED
BUT WHAT CAN I DO?
NOTHING…
All But Joanne: IT SUCKS TO BE YOU
Mimi: You win.
All But Joanne: IT SUCKS TO BE YOU
Maureen: I feel better now.
JOANNE: TRY HAVING ALL YOUR FRIENDS SIGN AUTOGRPAHS
WHEN "wait…who's Joanne?" is normal? It just hurts.
All: IT SUCKS TO BE ME
IT SUCKS TO BE YOU
IT SUCKS TO BE US
BUT NOT WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER
WE'RE TOGETHER HERE
IN THE MUSICAL "REEEEEEENT"
WE'RE FROM THE MUSICAL "REEEEEENT"
IT'S HEAVEN-SENT
FAAAAANS GET US ALL UNBENT
BUT WE'RE ALL STILL PEOPLE FROM "RENT"
WE'RE STILL SO AWESOME IN "RENT"
YOU KNOW YOU LOVE US IN "RENT"…
BUT PLEASE GUYS…
HAVE MERCY IN FICS ABOUT "RENT"!