A/N: Well, have fun with this one! It's "You Can Be As Loud As The Hell You Want (When You're Making Love)" from Avenue Q. Have truckloads of fun with it.
Maureen: Oh my god!
Collins: It's another miswritten smut fic!
Mark and Roger: YAAAAAAAAAY!
Maureen: Not another one! Freakin' twelve year olds, when have they ever had sex? What do they know about it?
Collins: They don't. All their information about the dynamics of sex comes from cursed sources on the Internet.
Maureen: Don't say it…
Collins: Wikipedia, for example.
Maureen: NOOOO!
Mimi: Hey, guys, leave the kids alone. After all, it's their hormones that get satisfied here…
YOU CAN AS MISINFORMED AS YOU WANT
WHEN YOU'RE WRITING SMUUUT
Collins, Maureen: (WHEN YOU'RE WRITING SMUT)
Mimi: YOU CAN BE AS MISINFORMED AS YOU WANT
WHEN YOU'RE WRITING SMUUUUUUT
YOU CAN AS MISINFORMED AS YOU WANT
WHEN YOU'RE WRITING SMUUU-UU-UT
All: YOU CAN AS MISINFORMED AS YOU WANT-TUH…
Maureen: I think I have it worst. None of those kids quite understand lesbian sex, so they just gloss it over and have me and Joanne feel each other up for about an hour. It's boring, I need some real sex!
Collins: You think you have problems? They get gay sex—at least the freakin' physics of it—but then they somehow become convinced that Angel and I are acrobats! Sex is all well and good, but this is not sex, this is some kind motherfucking gymnastics show!
Mimi: Ahem…more than I think I needed to know.
Maureen and Collins: DIE, straight girl.
Mimi: I suffer too, you know! Gay and lesbian sex is hard to figure out, but straight sex…well, let's just say some of our young friends need a lesson in anatomical construction!
YOU MIGHT GET SWEATY AND SCARED ABOUT SPECIFICS, YEAH
AND ADD SOMETHING THAT SHOULD PROB-LY NOT BE THERE
BUT IT'S ALL OKAY, HEY KIDS, 'CAUSE WE GOT YOUR BACK
WHEN IT COMES TO "BELOW UNDERWEAR"
YOU CAN BE AS MISINFORMED AS YOU WANT
WHEN YOU'RE WRITING SMUUUUT
YOU CAN BE AS MISINFORMED AS YOU WANT
WHEN YOU'RE WRITING SMUT, SMUT, SMUT, SMUUUUUT
DON'T ASK WIKIPEDIA TO HELP MAKE IT HOT
WE CAN HAVE ORGASMS ALL ON OUR OWN, THANKS A LOT
BE AS MISINFORMED AS YOU WANT
WHEN YOU'RE WRITING SMUT
DON'T-YOU-WORR-Y
All: MISIN-FORMED AS YOU WAAA-AA-ANT
Maureen: It's fine, no pressure!
Collins: Don't say that, they might believe you!
All: MISIN-FORMED AS YOU WAAA-AA-ANT
Mimi: They get Roger all right, but Mark?
Collins and Maureen: OY VEY!
Mimi: Thought so.
All: MISIN-FORMED AS YOU WAAA-AA-ANT
MISIN-FORMED AS YOU WAAA-AA-ANT
MISIN-FORMED AS YOU WAAA-AA-ANT
Mimi: Go for broke!
MISIN-FORMED AS YOU WAAA-AA-ANT
Collins: They'll just keep going, won't they?
Maureen: 'Spose so.
Mimi: We'll live.
Collins: You might…
All: MISINFORMED AS YOU-
MISINFORMED AS YOU-
MISINFORMED AS YOU-
MISINFORMED AS YOU-'
MISINFORMED AS YOU-
MISINFORMED AS YOU-
MISINFORMED AS YOU-
MISINFORMED AS YOU-WANT!