Edited. Still short but I just wanted to add a little bit more to the conversation.
As I followed Carlisle up the stairs, I couldn't help but feel fear. Not fear because I was in a house full of vampires, but fear of who I was to become. A vampire none the less, but who was I going to be? Would I still love books? Would I still love… Edward?
I couldn't allow myself to think of that. That must never come. I wouldn't allow it.
"Bella, you can sit if you please." Carlisle said monotonously, waking me slowly from my thoughts. I sat down quietly trying to imitate his movements. I didn't succeed.
"Bella, I know that this might be somewhat frightening for you, but we are all here for you. There is no rush, I'm sure Edward has made that very clear. I just wanted to know if you were sure about this, I thought it would be best if we were alone, without any… pressure if you will." As he spoke, I listened intently letting his words soak. He was wrong about one thing. There was a rush, no matter what Edward said. If I waited for two years, he would push for 10. Knowing Edward, he would wait till I was 60!
"Carlisle, I thank you for your concern, but I really want to go through this. I'm just having pre-vampire jitters." I laughed softly at the absurdity of my words.
"As, I knew you would." He quickly rose and motioned me to the door. I remained motionless.
He tilted his head to the side slightly, "Was there something else on your mind?" he asked, trying to find a reason for my actions. The only problem be, I didn't know why I didn't, couldn't move.
"Yes," I began quietly, "Will I… Are you going to change me today?" For some reason this made me a little nervous. I trusted Edward, but still this would mean I'd be giving up on the life I had. All that was before him. Before him? Before Edward I was miserable just passing by in life never doing anything remarkable never being truly happy. There was no before him.
Carlisle sighed, but never returned to his seat. "Yes. We will. You might need more time to heal, and also we don't want you to break your promise to Renee and Charlie." He appraised me for a quick moment before continuing. "Unless, you want to wait. As I said before…"
I raised my hand to cut him off. "I'm sorry to cut you off Carlisle, but I understand and I want to continue. Also, we do have the Vulturi do we not?" I replied.
"Yes. Of course, but that is a matter I'm not worried about at the moment. You see Bella, you are family. The last thing I... we would want to do would be rush into eternity without you being certain." He explained. Eternity? Life would loose its meaning if I was to be separated from Edward. "Well," he said clapping his hands signaling the closing of this conversation, "I think I shall return you now. I'll allow you to go get ready."
I smiled and thanked him politely for our brief discussion. It certainly gave me a lot to think about, but I already had answers to these questions. When I arrived at the top of the stairs, I was greeted by an extremely bouncy Alice and a slightly annoyed Edward.