The lights seemed somehow brighter now that she was out of Mark's room, a fact that was amplified by the deserted hallways and the strangely silent rooms.
A hospital was supposed to be full of noise, even if it wasn't always pleasant. Soft crying, jarring screams, whispers behind closed doors; that was what a hospital was supposed to sound like.
A hospital was supposed to be inhaling suffering and exhaling some form of closure. But tonight was different. Tonight, it was like the hospital had stopped breathing altogether. For some reason an awful, deafening silence had fallen over everything and the floors were glittering and spotless. For some reason the delicate balance that Seattle Grace prided itself on had been broken.
It had to be a dream, some terrifying dream where everything was muffled and nothing was real, where she was alone and nobody noticed. It had to be, or else her world was really collapsing, and there really was no one there to catch her when she fell.
She could hear a faint voice calling someone else's name. A name that was vaguely familiar…
"Dr. Grey?... Dr. Grey?"
She stumbled closer to the wall and leant against it, breathing through her mouth. The voice sounded like it had been calling the vaguely familiar name for awhile. She closed her eyes and saw a dark-haired stranger sitting next to her in a bar.
"Meredith? Are you okay?"
A different voice, one that was softer, more understanding. She screwed her eyes tighter and saw the dark-haired stranger brushing back a lock of fiery red hair with a noticeable glimmer of metal on the ring finger of his left hand. Meredith's eyes snapped open.
Inches away from her face, a blonde girl jumped.
"Jesus, you scared me," Izzie said, clutching at her heart with her right hand, "Where were you just then?"
She frowned and her eyes slipped closed again, "I'm a little dizzy…"
"Come here." arms gently helped her into a leather-covered chair with wheels, "Now can you tell me what happened? I heard a little about Mark from the nurse…is he okay?"
"I don't know," Meredith mumbled. Izzie started to push her down the hall.
"What do you mean you don't know? Weren't you just in there?"
Picking invisible lint off of her coat, Meredith refused to look away from the floor, "They were busy."
Izzie stopped wheeling and knelt to her friend's level.
"You're the mother of his kid, I'm sure they weren't too busy for you."
"Well it's not like they pushed me out or anything…."
Izzie frowned.
"Then why are you out here and not in there?"
Meredith sniffled.
"They're having a moment."
Izzie's face fell.
"You mean Derek and Addison?"
Meredith pulled her coat tighter and nodded, wishing someone would dim the lights.
"Shit," Izzie muttered, "Mer, I'm sure it wasn't anything. And even if it was, they were married for twelve years-"
"They're still married."
Izzie continued as if she hadn't heard an interruption, "so he's obviously got some leftover feelings, I mean, those things don't just go away. But he loved you, so don't freak out about something small."
The doors swept by, and Meredith was beginning to slip into a place between awake and sleep. 2210, 2211, 2212…She forgot that she was in a wheelchair in a hospital, her clothes stained with red and bags under her eyes; she forgot that she was recovering from the impact the two men in her life had just made, again, on her present mental condition.
Her eyes were closed when the chair stopped in front of a door and the blonde who had been pushing her knocked. She heard whispers, and it made her feel more at home. She was in a hospital, and there were whispers behind closed doors-a small piece of her normal was falling back into place. But then the whispers started to grow louder.
"You want me to act like she didn't screw both my husband and his best friend, which probably caused this stupid fight in the first place?"
"Addison, God, she's the mother of our child-"
"Who you screwed, Derek. I'm sorry that I'm not exactly jumping up and down at the fact that she's here."
Meredith stirred, her eyes opening in a squint as she waited for them to accept her into the room again.
"So? My mistake shouldn't cost her the right to be there when Mark wakes up."
That word, twisting in her stomach like plane food- mistake. She held the back of her hand up to her lips, willing the bile back down her throat. Derek glanced over his wife's shoulder, as if realizing that she was there. His eyebrows connected painfully as he continued to stare at the blonde in the chair.
"Why should she have that right in the first place?"
He didn't answer, focusing solely on his unspoken apology to Meredith.
"Come on, you guys," Izzie broke in shakily, sneaking glances at the furious redhead, "She just wants to be here when he wakes up without you guys being all…together."
Addison's face reddened, her eyes widening to a frightening size, "Are you serious? Are you fucking kidding me?"
"Addison!" Derek chastised, "Now is not the time to be doing this."
Her face melted, immediately thinking of her daughter.
"Hannah, I'm sorry…that-that wasn't a nice thing to say."
The nine-year olds eyes' narrowed, "You haven't said anything nice to Meredith since we got here."
A half-smile of triumph from the woman in the wheelchair. Addison's face scrunched into a brief stab of hurt before melting back into her usual cool acceptance.
"That's true. I haven't," she breathed after a short pause, "I haven't said anything nice to Meredith since we got here."
Somehow, the statement came out as another shot at the blonde. Derek looked nervous, and Izzie gave a clipped nod of recognition, although she knew, like everyone else in the room, that it was not meant to be a regret. The room fell silent and the tension mounted. Simply for something to do, Meredith awkwardly wheeled herself past Izzie, Derek, and Addison and up to the side of Mark's bed, making no move to raise herself out of the chair.
She felt tears pricking at her eyes again, and she choked back yet another sob. Seeing him lying there, in a hospital gown of all things made the need to empty the contents of her stomach into the trashcan in the corner all too real. Reaching out, she gripped his hand, shuttering in surprise when she felt him give her a small squeeze. With a quick look to his face, she caught his eyelids fluttering open and the lazy smile that graced his face when he saw that it was her. She smiled back, wiping at her tears with her free hand and letting out a little hiccup of self-conscious laughter. Both Addison and Derek made a move towards Mark's bed but Izzie, for a reason even she couldn't comprehend, held them back.
Meredith, the weight that was resting on her shoulders less than fifteen minutes ago completely gone, was floating. Surprisingly, he was too.
"You're here," he mumbled, sounding like he'd been through a bar fight. Then he noticed her choice of transportation, "are you okay?"
"I just was a little overwhelmed," she explained, waving away his concern, "and what, you think I'd leave you with the guy who put you here?"
Addison and Derek exchanged pointed looks while Mark chuckled, giving way seconds later to a grimace of pain. He clutched at his ribs.
"Sorry," Meredith muttered humbly, "Wasn't thinking."
"S'okay," he assured, his eyes closing heavily, one of them already black and swollen. His hand tightened around hers, unaware of Derek's increasingly dark glare.
"I'm glad you're awake," she said, and it was like they were back in high school again. He smiled again, eyes still shut with what she assumed to be exhaustion, "Do you want me to go?"
Her voice was small and soft. He shook his head.
"Stay," he rasped, "I'm just…"
He trailed off, and when she extracted her hand from his, she was met with little resistance; he was sleeping. Pulled from her teenage world, she straightened and looked over at Hannah.
"He'll be fine," she promised, and Hannah nodded, throwing a brief but genuine smile across the room at her biological mother.
At the doorway, it was the Shepherd's turn to feel like they were intruding on some deeply personal moment.
AN: College sucks!!! I have like, a billion trillion tons of homework every day and like no time for my own stories! Which is why it's been like half a year since I last updated.Which I'm sorry about. Still review thoughcuz they really do help. Oh, and I really don't want to make Addison out to be all catty and stuff but I guess that's how it ended up. I actually really like her!