Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I am just borrowing.
Spoilers: Possibly all the books but probably none.
Content: Strictly a Language Issue (but not harsh)
This is my first try at fanfic so please be kind.
Thanks to Jaime (She's Got High Hopes) and Kate (My Mini Obsession) for their support and editorial powers!
Stephanie's Gamble
Chapter 3 The Consequences
'Flashback to reality for a second here Plum. You've got to get a grip. It doesn't matter what you did to get here, you are here now. It is time to go back downstairs to have lunch with the boys and face the music,' I told myself.
I gave myself another glance at the reflection in the mirror, patted down my hair, wiped down the counter top and reluctantly left the apartment. I walked even more slowly to the elevator this time than the last, I felt like "dead woman walking." I pushed the button and I returned to the comm. center and my cubicle.
I worked for another half an hour and was getting more and more anxious; lunchtime was approaching and I was uncomfortably attempting to get back to Denial Land.
Maybe the guys would let lunch pass and then we wouldn't have the meeting to settle the bets from the poker extravaganza. Maybe they were all on diets as their New Year's resolutions and wouldn't want to do lunch. Maybe Rex would be declared King of the World and I would never have to work again.
Right, not even I could believe that.
I don't even think I had a chance to have my passport stamped or the visa renewed when my trip to Denial Land was so abruptly ended. It wasn't even ended by a newer or better fantasy. Nope. At 12:01 Lester had sauntered over to my desk and stood there, just stood there with a stupid grin on his face.
"Bomber, do you know what time it is?" he asked grinning like a fool and eyebrows dancing.
"Les, I think it depends on what time zone you are in. Right now I think it is 10:00 in Indianapolis, it is 8:00 in San Francisco. Why do you ask? Do you want me to reset your watch?" I asked, praying that he really didn't want to go there. I couldn't reset his watch and we both knew it; it took a PhD from MIT to even get his watch out of the box. We both knew I was stalling and we both knew why.
"Steph, get it together, it won't be that bad. It's just lunch it's not a trip to a third world country, unless you really want that."
Sighing, I said, "All right already, let's go. Let's get this thing over with."
"Bomber, you wound me, you really do. Just remember, you knew the rules of engagement and agreed to them," Lester said with a wink.
Initially, I walked beside him heading to the conference room. The further we got down the hall the further behind him I got. Finally he stopped and waited for me knowing that if I got out of sight I was going to attempt the great escape out of the building.
"Steph, we may have to get you a new nickname. How do you feel about 'Captain Slow'?"
Lester and I entered the conference room together to find that Ella had outdone herself. The lunch spread was enough to feed a small army. Mental head slap, this is a small army. All of the guys from the poker game were here and no one else was going to be allowed in until this "lunch meeting" was adjourned.
I joined the line and loaded up my plate. It was all good and healthy stuff, but what I really needed was a Tastycake and a Coke. Sugar is no substitute for an extra coat of mascara, but it would have helped.
As a group, we were comfortable together. I knew Ranger told the guys that he didn't want to make this any tougher on me than it was already going to be, so conversation was light. We successfully avoided discussion of the actual purpose of the meeting.
When we were done with lunch, I took Ranger aside. "Hey Ranger," I started.
"Yeah, Babe."
"Actually Ranger, it's like this. Most of my screw ups won't live forever in the form of a recording because it's usually just a really limited audience, you know, just me and the skip. I'd like to know if you would be willing to kill the cameras in the room while we do this thing."
"Sure thing, Babe," he said with a smile. He dug his remote out of his pocket and scrambled the cameras for me. He asked, "Is there anything else I can do to make this better for you."
"Yeah, actually there is. Can you round up all of the cell phones from the guys? I mean they all have camera/video phones and I really don't want any documented proof of the rest of this meeting."
"Do you think that will make you more comfortable? I can think of a lot of other things that might make you a lot more comfortable." he replied with a wicked grin.
"Really, I think that's all for now," I said shyly.
"Gentlemen," came Ranger's voice, loudly enough to carry across the room, "there has been a request from Stephanie that there be no recordings of any kind of this meeting. Please place your cell phones and other electronic devices on the corner table at the back of the room."
"Man, what do you think we are? We have more manners than to make a video of this to watch later," Bobby said. Bobby placed his camera, digital voice recorder and some kind of credit card something or other on the table.
Tank said, "I am a scholar and a gentleman, I have no alternative electronic devices of any kind on my person; not that I wouldn't wanna, but I promise I don't." With that, Tank placed his cell phone and digital voice recorder on the table.
"It's my job to do the electronics, Patron," said Hector, "but if you want what I have, it is all yours." Hector took out two phones, several digital voice recorders, more of the credit cards looking things, a bunch of wires and some stuff that looked like buttons. It looked like Hector had cleaned out the stock room at Spies R Us.
"All right, all ready. All right all ready," mumbled Lester. "Do I really gotta? I mean her reactions would make some great footage to watch when there isn't much on the monitors."
"Yeah, you have to Santos," Ranger intoned.
Lester gave up his phone, put a bundle that had been inside his sweatshirt pocket and his baseball cap onto the pile.
"Ranger," I said, "it's your turn."
"Babe, I don't know what you could possibly mean. It's my turn?" Ranger said.
"It's your turn to put all of your gizmos and whiz-bang gadgets onto the table just like everyone else."
"But Babe, I know you really didn't mean me now did you?" Ranger asked looking sheepish.
"I meant everyone, you are part of everyone. You might be the boss but you are a part of this party mister. If you don't empty your pockets, this meeting goes nowhere. Got it?"
"Got it, Babe," Ranger said with a grin, "as long as you're sure."
"I'm sure we need to do this now, or I won't show up for another one of these meetings again. Come on Ranger, pony up," I told him as the guys snickered behind him.
Ranger added as much to the pile as Hector did. I actually gave consideration to doing an airport security wanding thing, but thought better of it. I mean, it would be fun to run a wand up and down each and every Merry Man, especially the fun places, but I needed to show some faith in the guys, right? Ranger must have been reading my thoughts for the evil grin he sent my way. One of these days I am going to have to learn to keep my thoughts to my little old lonesome.
That done, we all returned to the table. At the center of the table were the envelopes with each person's name from New Year's Eve and two cut crystal bowls. Ranger returned each envelope back to its author, including mine to me.
"Gentlemen, you will each open your envelope and remove the task you printed on it for Stephanie. Please write your name on the blank side, fold the paper and place it in the bowl on my left. Stephanie, while they are doing that, please write the names of the months from now through May. Fold your papers and place them in the bowl on my right."
I had no idea about what the significance of the months was going to bring. I just sort of figured that I would spend quality time doing my task with each Merry Man during his designated time, I could live with that.
One by one, the tasks were placed in the bowl to Ranger's left. One by one, the various months were placed in the bowl on the right.
"Now Babe, please go to the white board at the front and make three columns. Title the first column 'Person' the next is 'Month' and the last 'Task'. As each item comes out of the bowl, you will record things to the white board. Are we ready to begin?" Ranger asked.
"As ready as I'll ever be," I replied with a weak smile.
The room reminded me of a big bingo game, except I was the only one being played! The first slip of paper came out, it was from Hector. The task read "horizons expansion for Stephanie". The month was extracted from the appropriate bowl, March.
"Querida, there are many ways to do this and I will have a month to do it," Hector said with a shy smile.
Panic rising in my voice I said, "But Hector, I am not sure I am up to the horizons you have in mind."
Patiently he replied, "I wouldn't be so sure of that, I will be good, I promise."
"Can you, will you give me a hint? Please." I begged.
"No can do. That's for me to know and you to find out," he teased.
Well nuts!
The master of ceremonies pulled Tank's as the next slip. Tank wouldn't be too bad, I mean probably military training stuff, right? I was just getting comfortable with the idea of getting up early going on long runs followed by obstacle courses. When his task was read it said, Broaden Stephanie's Horizons. His month was January.
A huge smile broke onto Tank's face. "Stephanie, we won't have a full month together, but I promise to do right by you," he said.
Evidently I had been in some sort of shock induced haze because I actually heard what Tank had said.
"Full month. Full month!! Full month!!! FULL MONTH!!!!! Ranger, what the hell is he talking about 'full month' I didn't make any promises for a full month of anything," I whined.
"Sorry about that Babe. It's part of the rules. You are obligated to work for a full month on each task with your partner. That has always been the understanding about these bets. Thought you were aware of the rules when you got involved."
"Damn it, Ranger. You know I had no idea about that. I thought it was something that could be done in an afternoon or evening, at the very longest a weekend. A month … each? Jeez."
"Done whining yet, Babe? If not, we will have to ask Ella to send up some cheese to go with your whine. We have several more months to get organized."
Well, bugger. Bugger. Bugger. Bugger. Bugger.
Bobby's paper was chosen next. Cripes, not again, yes, again. The damn thing said 'Horizon expansion' and his month was April.
"Steph, I know you weren't ready to do a full month, but you'll like it, you have my word. Besides, my girlfriends have all liked it, you'll do just fine," Bobby said.
"All your girlfriends, ALL YOUR GIRLFRIENDS!" I was unable to look at Bobby, so I turned to the man in charge, "Ranger, I thought this was supposed to remain PG rated, you know? Has this thing turned into a dating game I am unaware of? Come on," the whiny pitch getting higher in my voice.
"Babe, it is not a dating game, just quality time to do a task or a project with each of the guys. Each of them has something different in mind, so I am sure you won't get bored; in fact, you might learn a thing or two. Now if we changed it to a dating type game would you be happier? I can do that if you really want me to. I trust the most of the guys to keep it PG for a month, but I wouldn't trust Lester."
I stumbled across my words and said, "No, I don't want it to be a dating game. But it sure feels like a game where I am being played." I was starting to feel like the shoe in the Monopoly game, going round in circles and not really getting anywhere.
"Bomber, I am hurt. You wouldn't trust me for a month to take care of you? You wouldn't trust me to date me for a month and be able to keep it all clean and above board? It would be an experience for you completely like no other," Lester said with a twinkle in his eyes and a smile across his entire face.
"Actually Lester, no I don't. Sorry." I was feeling ashamed of myself. I trusted the Merry Men with my life, why wouldn't I trust myself to "date" Lester for a month? Good going in the trust department, Plum.
"Good to know you're being honest with me Steph, because I wouldn't trust me either. I would need a chaperone for a month and don't think I could take it. I mean I haven't been chaperoned since I was 15 and the girl was 20."
God, I hope he was just kidding.
Ranger pulled the month February which went to Lester. That slip also read 'Expand your horizons'.
"Bomber, if you would only have agreed to make it a dating game, I could have rocked your world for Valentine's Day. You may never know what you missed." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, "We could have made beautiful music together. Wait, I still get Valentine's Day! This totally rocks!!!!!"
This was both a good thing and a bad thing. Now I didn't have to worry about being alone for Valentine's Day. The flip side was that it was Lester and I did't think I am in the physical shape to outrun Lester on the "evening of romance" because only God knew what he had in mind.
"Uh, that's OK Lester. I think my world has had enough rocking for the time being. Thanks for the offer," I told him. Ranger shot me an evil look. What? This whole experience was rocking me in my work boots, I wasn't up for any more rocking thank you very much.
The only month that was left was May and it went of course to Ranger. His task was, surprise, surprise, 'Expand your horizons, Babe.'
Fudge.
"Saved the best for last, Babe. This is going to be good."
Where had I heard that before?
I decided to look at the whiteboard, this was the breakdown:
Person MonthTask
TankJanuaryExpand Steph's horizons
LesterFebruaryExpand Steph's horizons
HectorMarchExpand Steph's horizons
BobbyAprilExpand Steph's horizons
RangerMayExpand Steph's horizons
Oh boy. I had the feeling I was going to be in deep, deep trouble. My horizons might never be the same again, and I kind of liked them just like they were.
I was beginning to think that my mother's addiction to ironing was going to be the least of my concerns.
I slumped down into my chair in a stupor. There was absolutely no telling what 'Expand your horizons' meant to each of these guys, there was no way to prepare, there was nothing I could do. I was feeling alittle burned and crispy around the edges and there was no more suntan lotion for Denial Land and my flight was about to leave.
I was paying absolutely no attention as Ranger adjourned the meeting. Before we went back to work, each of the guys retrieved his stash of gizmos from the table. At least there was no record of the meeting other than the whiteboard notes, which Ranger took a digital picture of. God, what was he going to do with that?
There was some commotion and some background noise, but I paid no attention. I think I was getting my passport stamped when I heard Ranger say, "Babe, don't you have to get back to work?"
"Work?" I was shaking my head to clear it.
"Yes Babe, work. You know the job I pay you to do," he was smiling. Guess I was still being entertaining.
"Oh yeah, that's right. Thanks Ranger."
He pulled me out of my chair and put his arms around my shoulder. He walked me back to my desk.
"Babe, it really will be ok. Promise. They won't expand your horizons too far. I don't foresee any third world countries in their futures or in yours," he said as he squeezed my shoulder and headed to his own office.
I sat in my chair, booted up the programs I would need for the afternoon and reviewed my inbox. Before I knew it, my passport had been stamped and I was back in Denial Land looking to see where I had put my suntan lotion.
I went back to doing searches. I had already read the day's funnies on-line and didn't have the nerve to look into employment searches on Ranger's dime. Since I owe, I owe, it was back to work I went. I was deep in my current search when I felt someone standing behind me. Tank.
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