Part 18

"What are you doing?" Robin asked Alex, noting he had put on his quiver and held his small bow in his hands.

"Hunting."

"You will not be hunting, you are going to watch," Robin told him removing both bow and arrows from him and shaking his head.

"But Father said I could come."

"Yes, but not with these. I am supposed to look after you. If you take these you will be trying to shoot like the men and you are not a man."

"Neither are you," Alex retorted.

"I am nearer to a man than you and I say no weapons."

"Are you taking yours?" Alex asked.

"Yes…but only because father said I might get a shot."

"If you can why can I not?"

"Because I say so," Robin said impatiently, guiding Alex by the shoulder and leading him to where the assembly of nobles had grouped together, which included Edward, Sheriff of Nottingham.

The party of men were to go out shooting for the day, the aim of the hunting expedition; boar, for a feast at the castle. They had planned the hunt with expertise and Robert once again instilled that Robin keep Alexander at his side at all times. It started off well; they tracked the boar keeping it in their sights, preparing to kill it effectively and swiftly. While the men were in the undergrowth talking out their strategic plan to kill the beast, Robin's attention wandered.

It all happened too soon, too fast and was almost like a blur in everyone's minds later when they tried to recall the incident with detail. Edward had fired a shot at the boar which although injured the animal did not as anticipated kill it and the boar raged uncontrollably. It was about this time that Robin noticed that Alexander was no longer at his side, the young boy's attention caught by a baby rabbit who was more bold than his contemporises and sat twitching his whiskers a short distance away.

Even as Robin called his name he knew it was too late, he rushed forward somehow hoping that in that last final second he could stop the terrible thing that was about to happen, but he did not, he could not. His shoulders sagged as he was forced to watch the scene play out before him, where his father and the other men strove valiantly to save the young boy from the wrath of the boar, but it was not meant to be. He, Robin had failed that day, not only his parents, and his brother but most importantly himself.

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A heavy silence hung in the air; no one spoke, what was there to say? It seemed awkward almost. Allan looked at Robin with compassion, they did have something in common apart from their outlaw status, he too had not been able to save his brother either, although the situation was different. His heart felt heavy, not just for Robin but for himself, but he was to blame for that. It was he who had insisted that Robin impart the story of Alexander and now it was done….he felt the loss of Tom all over again.

Djaq sighed too, she too had lost her brother, in a more heroic way, but still the pain was there, would always be there, but not to the same degree as Robin she thought as she watched him sink back into his own thoughts. Whether back to Alex or perhaps Marian.

"You do know," Much said unable to stand the tension any longer. "That it was an accident? That is wasn't your fault and blaming yourself isn't going to make it better? Also," he continued without pause for breath. "Marian, you do know you are not going to fail her? That we…you, will find her; get her back here where she belongs…Master?"

"So you say, but what if I am unable to save her too? Then it will be three lives I have to carry along in my conscience for the rest of my life."

"Is that what has been bothering you these past months?" Much asked.

"No."

"Then what?"

Robin looked at them, should he confide his worries to them or should Marian be the one he should be telling. Not that she was here with him to tell. But if he recalled correctly she had urged him to tell someone his fears.

Robin sighed heavily, looked as if he was going to change the subject the replied, "I am afraid I will lose her as I lost my mother."

"Ah," said Much with some understanding as the remainder of the gang looked blank.

The gang shared looks with each other but decided in silent unison that they would not probe further on this; the revelation of Alexander had been painful enough both on Robin and for different reasons on other members of the gang also.

"Have you told her? Marian?" Much asked, continuing the conversation, of which he understood some of the events of the past.

"No I did not want to scare her."

"You should have told her."

"She said as much but I could not," he replied with a shake of his head. "And now it is too late."

"It is not too late. We…..You will find her of that I am certain."

"Find her to tell her I am afraid she will die?"

"No, to tell her you love her, to explain how your childhood experiences make you feared for her safety. Marian is young, she is healthy there is no reason she will share the fate of your mother. You have to believe in that," Much said in earnest as the gang got the gist of the situation.

There was a lengthy silence before Robin replied and when he did it gave hope to all who heard him. "I never give up on anyone or situation and never on Marian."