AN: I don't own KND
Ch. 2: Storm
The office was tidy. Framed contracts and documents adorned the Western wall and a huge map dominated the East. Along the Southern side were small shelves that held various office knick-knacks as well as a number #1 Dad coffee mug just in case the boss strolled in. Had to make sure you looked extra good to score that promotion you've been gunning for, even if it meant lying, for the man that owned this office was certainly not a #1 dad by anyone's standards. He wasn't even #9,999 dad. In fact, had little Billy not actually been a KND officer, he would've probably been eaten by bears. But that didn't matter, because frankly everyone in the entire building had a fake mug or cheap drawing that their child "supposedly" drew for them. Heck, one guy even went so far as to hire a dwarf for Bring Your Daughter to Work Day. No, they all hated children. But Jim, he hated them the least. It was the Kids Next Door that he despised. It would be one thing had they been normal children who would do all the work like little slaves, but they refused. They thought that Adults and Kids should be equal! The nerve! And to emphasize this, they actually saw it as their sworn duty to fight "adult tyranny"! Why had Jim been their fathers, he would smack them silly. Everyone knows that adults are the cream of the crop. They go to work, toil all day, and then spend their hard earned cash on stupid soda and gum and those gosh-darn idiotic colored monkey-things! And for what? A little brat to take it, break it, and ask for another? No way, uh, uh. Find yourself another sucker, pal. Jim finished the last line of his letter and sent it via email to the Boss. Finished, finally. Now, time to get back to his other work. With a flick of the wrist, Jim popped his hand under his mahogany desk and toggled the little black switch attached to the underside. With a whirring sound, the Western wall spun 180 degrees to show its backside where once hung framed papers now stood a weapons cache, a few pamphlets featuring girls in bikinis, and a big portfolio with the words OPERATION LAWN stamped on the front. Course, Jim wasn't the only member of this project. Many adults worked to create it, refine it, and evilize it. Grabbing the big document, Jim took his index finger and flipped through it. A blur of pictures and red ink appeared until it finally stopped on page 25. Jim scanned the page:
Part 3: Workers Unite!
After the mowers go off, you, the power horse of the Adult empire, must rise to defeat the pesky brats using your C. H. O. P. P.E. R. Taking your weapon, you must scour the countryside as our little friends won't be able to take out locations without lawns. Luckily, your numbers and their lack of will help you in overwhelming the defenses. Use the chopper to saw the tree off and bring it down. Then, when their home is but mere wood chips, seal the deal and sprinkle the spray onto the land. Don't forget to drop the homing seed in case the freaks try something. Our aerial squadrons will try to help out for those of you in Asia and other exotic locations. We will be dropping live ties as well as spraying huge quantities of formula x, so when you see our fliers, Pop on your masks. Hopefully with these new breed ties, the K N Dorks won't be able to strap on their masks as they suffocate. Then, when we are finally rid of those pesky tree houses, workers, begin work on the factories and pilots, go to page 28 and head to the docks to find your Licoriships.
The page ended there.
Jim put down the file. He had read the info hundreds of times. He had memorized the whole book and could recite it at a whim. The thing was, he was excited. Finally a chance to show kids who's boss, and it even relied solely on him. No matter how many times he read it, he was still baffled. Getting up, he strode over to the weapons cache and picked up the Chopper. The weapon was basically just a chainsaw thing that had random sawblades attached to wires that would spring out when pressure was applied to the trigger. A small sticker on the side said to be careful around small children. Jim almost laughed out loud the first time he read this. Now it just brought gruesome images to his head, all of which were equally tempting. Oh yes, Jim definitely hated the KND. But soon, he could tell them in person. Only a few more days, Jim said to himself as he flicked the black switch again. Only a few more days.
Alright, I know this chapters really short, but its only meant to give you a little insight as to what the LAWN means. Oh, and if you're relatively smart, you can probably figure out the entire scheme through that excerpt. Anyways, the next chapter will probably be larger as it is going to tell you a bit more about 745 and why he will soon have to cancel his trip.