Standard disclaimers, blah, blah, blah.
I think we should all custody of the MM, we have more fun with them than JE ever thought possible!
To Jaime, Kate Manoso, Luisa and Melody you have been amazing and inspiring. Thank you.
Before I left, we decided that my nerves had been soothed enough to go back to work the next day. I would have enjoyed a couple of additional days away but I figured if I didn't I'd never catch up on my inbox. Rodriguez seemed to revel in the times I was gone so he could stack my box high and deep. Besides, Ranger would probably have me doing more stuff on the roof and given the choice I'd rather exercise.
Stephanie's Gamble
By Alfonsina
Chapter 18 ♣ May Part 2
The next morning I went to my cube at the regular time and saw the e-mail from Ranger that we were going to be together for the afternoon. I shut my computer down after lunch and went to his office. Ranger was piled to his eyeballs in work, big surprise. On the table in the corner there was a stack of catalogs. Shopping? This could be fun unless the catalogs were for Kevlar vests and tear gas; I was hoping against hope that they were shoe or lingerie catalogs.
"Come in, Babe. Take a seat at the table. Be right with you," Ranger said.
I pulled the top catalog off of the top to look at it what I might get to shop for: seeds? What? Yep, Ranger really was Mr. Green Jeans.
He got done with whatever he was doing and was looking excited when he asked, "So, what do you think? I know now isn't the time to be looking at these catalogs, there's work to do, but I want to get your opinion on things that I'm planning to do late in the summer season."
How to respond to that? The only flowers I liked were already grown, cut and arranged in the vase. The only seeds I did much with were watermelon seeds or sunflower seeds; Val and I used to spit them at each other as kids. This was kind of out of my scope.
I decided to go for non-committal. "Ranger, looks like you have some definite ideas of what you are looking for. Why don't you tell me what you think?"
He immediately started in on the benefits of this company versus that. Heirloom seeds versus the new hybrids. The importance of balance on his roof. The only time I had ever heard him get that excited about something was when he got a new firearm or a new car, he would extol upon their virtues until I could no longer hear him all I could do was watch him move his lips. It kind of reminded me of watching TV without the sound.
He looked at catalogs, circled things and highlighted others. He pointed out some things he'd already marked and commented on those. After about two hours he said, "Thanks for your input, Babe. I didn't know what I wanted to do for the late summer season; your input has been invaluable."
I had no idea what he had been talking about so I just smiled up at him and said, "You didn't need me, you make great decisions. I think you just wanted the company." Whew, glad that I had practice with this kind of conversation. I'd had years of practice from living with my mother listening to her extolling the virtues of so-and-so's marinara sauce versus their meat sauce.
"I forgot to give you your range schedule this week. I'll make a new one up for you each week, the time will vary depending on my schedule, but you aren't getting out of it. You seem to resist less with the guys than you do with me, so you are going to continue to have the rotating coach. The guys already know."
Ok.
"By the way, today is Hector. I don't know whether or not you are going to be willing to continue to work with him on his vocabulary, but he is really putting in a big effort now to get the TOEFL passed. Sounds like he's got a motivation to get back into school," this was good. Ranger went on, "Lester said that he's got the hots for some 'American' and that would be motivation enough for him to learn to communicate better."
Great. I was going to have to find a way to get Lester dead and not raise any flags. Anyway, it looked like I was going to continue to have a lot of one on one time with Hector.
"You OK there Babe? You're looking pretty harried," he said.
"Nope, I mean yep. I mean I'm just fine. I had sort of hoped that the daily range thing was going to end," I said, again with the truth just not the whole truth. I hoped I was up to seeing Hector. If Hector could do it, so could I.
"Babe, I'm going to be working late into the night to catch up. Have Hector drop you off after you're done at the range. I'll see you tomorrow," he said as he kissed me gently.
I remembered the Cat in the Hat from when I was a kid; it featured Thing 1 and Thing 2. Great here I am in my own version of the book with Temptation 1 and Temptation 2. I could do this. It would be just fine. Really, I was almost sure it would be fine.
♣♣♣
I grabbed my weapon from my desk drawer and I went down to the range, just like I promised. Hector was waiting for me with targets ready to go. He was wearing a new uniform that actually looked like the clothes were in his own size. Frick, he'd even had his hair cut so that his eyes really stood out, and I really liked looking into his eyes. Damn it. He looked great and I'm pretty sure he knew it. It was easier for me to look at him when the clothes were baggy and ill fitting. Shit. And there was that aftershave or cologne or whatever it was again. He was intentionally trying to distract me.
Why me? Great, now I sounded just like my mother. Fudge.
He took his remote out from his pocket and scrambled the cameras like Ranger usually did when I was with him and he didn't want it recorded. This was so not good. Or was it?
Hector came up to me and gave me several very gentle kisses on the lips and a lingering embrace. My body was just getting used to having him in so close a proximity and I was really starting to enjoy it when he stepped away from me and turned the cameras back on.
I'm sure I was looking pretty confused and maybe even a little disappointed. My body kept betraying my mind when I was alone with him. My body was ready to have a good time even if my mind wasn't so sure about it.
He simply said, "I'll explain it to you later."
I was sore from gardening yesterday and my concentration just wasn't there today. At least not the kind of concentration I needed to have to actually hit a target. Sure, I had enough brains about me to play solitaire or read the funnies on line, but not enough to focus on anything like this.
Today the little paper men would have all escaped with their lives. Only a couple of my shots actually hit what I was aiming at and the rest were on the paper but wouldn't have landed on an actual body. I was wanting to do something else, anything else, just not this and it showed in my targets.
I did fifteen rounds of pure frustration. Hector was behind me by about ten feet; just standing, watching and evaluating. God, I hadn't been this bad since my first day at the range. The very first day I had excuses, I was new and I was distracted by Ranger. I was no longer new and I wasn't being distracted by Ranger. What was wrong with me, really?
"Problem today, nena?" he asked.
"Just don't really want to be doing this today," I said with a small smile.
We both knew I was going to have to do the proscribed hour because Ranger would periodically check the feed coming from the room to make sure I was actually working and not dinking around the whole time. Whenever Ranger was in town, it was his habit to check the range monitors to make sure I was really putting in my time and working. You'd think I didn't like to practice or something, sheesh.
"I talked to Tank," he said as he pulled a penny out of his pocket.
I shot a dirty look his direction, but even that shot missed because he was suddenly looking down. I couldn't do anything right today and now I was going to have to chase change all around the fricking range. At least I didn't have to wear eye and ear protection when I lost the pennies to the floor. It was the only thing I liked about the drill.
Hector saw the look of frustration on my face because he emptied all of the change out his pockets onto the table. It looked like a couple of rolls at least. Guessed I was going to get to lose all of the pennies and then get on my hands and knees instead of chasing one penny for an hour.
He was trying to keep the awkwardness out of the situation and keep things 'professional' between us, OK as professional as they were going to get today. Since the whole kissing situation earlier, we both avoided almost all conversation. Thank god.
After I had lost all of his change to the floor and cleaned it up he said, "Tank likes that drill, I don't." So now he tells me. He went on, "Can I help you a little differently?"
"Why not?" I replied.
He asked me to put my "eyes and ears" back on and get into the stance I normally used to shoot and then got behind me and appraised it. All I could hear was the 'tsk tsk' in his voice. He got behind me and moved my legs where he thought they should be and had me relax my shoulders and arms. Then he put the weapon in my hands and put his arms over mine to support my grip. I finally hit the target approximately where it needed to be. It would have been nice just to hit the target, but he wouldn't leave. He stayed there with me, plastered to my back, for ten whole minutes. It looked like he had been taking lessons from Lester in terms of disregarding personal space. I didn't really want to have that conversation with him, actually either of them.
I was never more pleased than when my shooting time was up and I had five minutes left to clean the barrel and cylinder. I was looking forward to getting away from Hector. He was setting my hormones off just by being behind me and not doing anything else. So not what I really needed at the moment when what I really wanted was to hold on to whatever control I still had over my hormones.
When I was done I remembered that Ranger was wanting me to spend time working with him to prepare for his test. I was a grown up, I could do this. This wouldn't be too bad, we'd just keep on like we had before, right?
"So, you want to keep up the language lessons, Hector?" I asked.
"Are we back to 'Hector' now?" he asked in the hurt sound.
"Yes. No. I don't know. I'm just not sure where we actually are right now. I'll call you whatever you want me to. Let's get back to the question. When are we going to do your study sessions?" I asked.
"Depends on the duty schedule and Ranger," he said with a smile. "I study better at night."
Great. In less than one week, more precisely in one weekend, he was now an official walking hormone. Had Ranger started 'Team Hormone' and no one told me? Fudge. There had to be some kind of anti-hormone something on the market I could either put in the water or I could spray on him when I was around him so my pheromones and hormones didn't respond to his.
"Tell you what, we'll let Ranger set the schedule. Fair?" I asked.
"Sure."
"I'm done for today. Ranger said that you would be my ride back to my apartment. Do you mind if we get going after I grab my purse?"
"No problem, nena."
Back to the 'nena' thing, I was going to have to get a Spanish dictionary one of these days.
"Ok, I'll meet you in the parking garage," I said.
I went back to grab my stuff and called my 'good-byes' to everyone and headed back to the parking garage.
He already had the motor started when I got off the elevator. He helped me into the truck and then we were off.
He was looking pretty proud of himself. Finally he said something, "I built and installed the current security system. Ranger and I are the only people who can scramble the cameras. I even have certain rooms set up to send a dummy feed of whatever and whenever I want; no one else knows or can duplicate it, not even Ranger. I wouldn't do it for more than a few seconds because I don't want to draw attention. It isn't something I plan to do often."
Lovely, he could prevent me from looking like a fool to the monitoring stations and block Ranger from seeing a stolen kiss or more. He also knew how much was going to set off flags to the rest of the world. He'd evidently given this a lot of thought, but how long ago? Shit.
"Questions?" he said with a huge smile.
"No," I said looking at the floor.
Initially I'd figured I'd be safe from him at work, especially on the range. I knew the range had cameras but no mics because the sound of the gunfire would drown out most all conversations. But now I knew there was that thing he could do with the cameras, shit. Then I remembered what he had said about 'not being safe'. Apparently everything now fell under the heading of 'not being safe'. Was there anything that wasn't going to fall under that same stupid heading? I was afraid I was going to find out and soon.
Per the standard Rangeman dictate, he walked me up to the apartment and swept it for interloping dust bunnies. It's been several months since the last stalker and it was a source of embarrassment to me that everyone acted like I was incapable of protecting myself. But since Ranger had made it part of official policy, the seek and destroy mandate would remain in place.
After the apartment was cleared, I was finally allowed in.
He closed the apartment door and took a serious look at it like it was the first time he had ever seen it. Then he went into the bedroom and stood in front of the window and looked at it closely, too. He had the standard Rangeman blank face when he was thinking about something. Ducky. I had no idea what he was thinking about but I was thinking that I didn't really care right now.
I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Nothing in it; the food fairy forgot me while I was camping and didn't show up while I was at work. Great, I was going to have to get to the grocery sooner than later. I did find the Thai leftovers from the other night. I felt awkward about making dinner for myself and not including Hector, so I decided to ask him to join me.
He set the table while I put stuff in microwaveable containers. I didn't ask if he wanted beer or wine, I just got out water. I didn't want his inhibitions to be lowered, or my own. I wasn't going to add to the 'unsafe' quotient.
We ate in relative silence. I completely blissed out while I was eating, I mean this stuff was good. I paid no attention to anything other than the food in my mouth and how good it tasted. I probably should have been more aware of my surroundings. I was sure I did the whole moaning thing because he got the same look on his face that I'd seen in the semi-darkness of the room at the bed and breakfast. I tried to apologize but all he did was smile.
Nuts.
Sometimes I'm just not a great conversationalist. Tonight was a prime example one of my lack of skill. I had been searching for a topic and finally found one.
I said in a teasing tone, "Ranger mentioned that you are in a hurry to learn more English because you are interested in some 'American'. He thinks it's a good motivator for you."
"You are a good teacher and I learn well from you. I have to take that test to get into college, I need to complete my education. It's time to start over again.
"Do you think the 'American' is you? Would you still help me even if it wasn't?" he asked in a playful tone, but I couldn't tell from his face if he was serious or not.
Shit. I had been full of myself thinking he was doing it for me. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
I spluttered a little, but tried to take it in stride. The little Jiminy Cricket voice in my head said, 'Remember, he's younger than you and he works for Ranger. Back the hormones into the barn and start to breathe. He's not necessarily interested in you, you should be feeling relieved,' But I wasn't. I wasn't relieved at all. I was sort of disappointed but I couldn't place my finger on why. I wasn't planning to date Hector or anybody else right now, and my ego shouldn't have gotten that big after one weekend. I mean, nothing really happened, right?
Immediately after that little exchange, he leaned in for a few long, slow and burning type kisses he was so good at that melted my insides. Then he nuzzled my neck a little and said 'thanks'. Maybe it was me after all.
Thank God he had more control than I did. He pulled back after a couple of minutes. If he hadn't some of those kisses would have melted my panties right off my body, and I'd have dragged him into the bedroom like I was Tarzan and he was Jane. I was really going to have to talk to my doctor about this overabundance of hormones. Soon. I had a feeling I just wasn't to be trusted alone with anybody.
That was precise moment when I resolved that the study sessions were going to be in one of the unused conference rooms that had been set up for camera monitoring. I was sitting next to temptation and didn't want to be unsupervised with him for at least an hour every day. I used to think of the cameras as being an electronic nanny, now I was feeling relieved to have a babysitter.
♣♣♣
The next day, I decided to tell Ranger the truth. OK, so I told him part of the truth. I was much more alert to 'teach' during the daytime, that when the sun went down I got distracted a lot more easily. I said Hector would learn more from me when I was paying attention. I didn't really care if he had stated a preference to Ranger; Ranger didn't ask any questions and just took my word for it.
I got a regular time scheduled with Hector in the middle of the day and always in the same room. Sure it was monitored like the rest of them, but this one was near the men's room. It afforded me the luxury of knowing that if Hector got handy, help was just a shout out away. I didn't trust that anything might or might not be caught on the cameras, knowing what I now knew.
♣♣♣
Ranger was really into this whole gardening thing and we went up every day for almost two months. Actually it felt like two months, long excruciating months with no food, water or distractions. In reality it was only five days. For me the time was just dragging.
The upside of the whole thing was that it was easier for me to talk to him while he was working on the plants. His concentration was divided and his guard was down; this was to my advantage. I tried to get him to divulge just a little more about himself. Some days it worked and other days it was like trying to talk to a statue in a church.
Every day I tried to come up with new conversations to have in the garden. One day it was, 'what's your favorite color'. Another day it was, 'name one country you never want to visit again and why.' I assumed he'd been to a lot of countries and not always under favorable circumstances; needless to say that conversation was pretty short. One of the things I really wanted to know was whether or not he had his own 'bucket list', things he wanted to do before he kicked the bucket; that was met with silence and a shake of his head. Most of my attempts were lame, but the quiet on the roof was going to be my undoing.
Conversationally, I was grasping at straws when I settled on my next topic: vacations.
"So, what's your ideal vacation?" I asked him.
He thought about it before he answered. He never did answer my questions quickly. "Alone or with someone?" he finally asked.
"Either."
He thought some more. I thought he was ignoring me when he finally said, "Alone and hands down it is backpacking. The world is a different place when you can walk through it at your own speed and enjoy what you find. You can get as far back to nature as you want, or you can do the more civilized stuff. I backpacked and hitchhiked Europe after I finished high school before I went into the Army. It was one of the high points in my life."
Wow, complex sentences and complete thoughts. Nice.
"And with someone?" I asked.
Another extended silence, at least this time I didn't think he was ignoring me.
He said, "Depends on the someone. Probably more camping or backpacking stuff. Maybe fishing. I like to get out of the city, clear the head of the day to day clutter. Why?" he asked.
"Just wondering."
I let what felt like several minutes pass, in reality it was probably more like several seconds.
"Which do you do more, vacation alone or with someone?" I asked.
"Babe, it's been a couple of years since I did a vacation other than the Boy Scout camp thing and that's not really a vacation. But to answer the actual vacation question, I went with Tank. We hiked through some old growth forest in northern California."
So he hasn't taken a woman on a trip in a while, this was positive.
"Ever gone with anyone else? I mean other than one of the guys?" I asked.
"Not since the one night stay in a hotel that was supposed to be my honeymoon when I got married. Did you have someone in mind, Babe?" he teased.
I was stupefied and couldn't answer.
"Watering your shoes again, Babe. Not going to do a lot for the plants," he said.
Smartass.
"Nope, just wondering what kinds of stuff you did when you wanted to let your hair down, other than this," I said pointing at the plant beds. "That's all, yeesh."
Most of the plants were on an automatic drip system and getting exactly as much water and food as they needed. He had a few plants that he wanted to 'baby' and so I got to hand-water those. Poor plants, they were either getting too much water or not enough from me. I was hoping the garden would still be together at the end of the month.
We had thinned and weeded all of the beds and I thought I'd never get my nails right again. I was really glad he didn't expect me to get my hands into the compost and turn it. That stuff was just nasty. I knew it was good for the plants and it was its own form of recycling, but I couldn't get past the smell of it. I actually liked when he would send me into the greenhouse so I could pick tomatoes or get some berries from some plant or another, I could tell what a tomato or a berry was supposed to look like and there wasn't so much guess work.
"Babe, I need your help with seedlings in the greenhouse today. But we'll never be done weeding. This is an open air garden and the birds drop seeds, so new weeds grow. Cycle of life thing. Besides, I'll make it up to you. I promise to make sure you get some flowers from up here for your desk."
'Is there anyway I can get Rangeman to pay for my manicures? My hands are looking rough enough to need a professional to undo the damage. It should be considered a business expense since I was weeding the flower garden on company time, right?' I thought.
"Babe, the company isn't going to pay for your manicures. What happened to 'beauty night' anyway?"
Damned ESP.
"I still do it, but you have me out here every day so the nail polish looks like crap in just a couple of days. You'd never understand; you're not a girl."
"Good thing," he said as he leaned in to kiss me on the forehead.
"Tomorrow can we look at seed catalogs?" I asked. They were pretty boring but some of them had pretty pictures.
"Babe, you hated looking at those things."
"Why do you say that?" I asked.
"Let's see, your eyes glazed over and I changed subjects; you didn't notice. But since this really seems to be my thing and not yours, I'll limit the time you put in up here with me. I do think you have a new appreciation for Ella's cooking now that you know first hand what goes into getting the ingredients for it. I'll leave you to doing the 'harvesting' of stuff for now, OK?"
"I really tried to pay attention, promise. So what will we do if we don't do this?"
"I'll come up with something," he said with a devastating smile.
The wolf was back. I had been missing the wolf.
He had been distancing himself from me after the first night home from camping. I was wondering if I had done something to offend him, but didn't want to ask. We still did dinner together a couple of times a week, but he had drastically reduced the amount of touching and kissing and, probably worst of all, I hadn't slept with him since then either. I mean, sleeping slept with him. I really liked waking up in his arms, even if it did mean having to run with him.
I'd also noticed that some of the shirts and things he'd left before were disappearing one by one from my closet. The shirts he had given me were all still in my drawer, but the closet was being raided. At one time, it looked like he had a week's worth, or more, of clothes in my closet, now not so much. There were still a couple of things there, but I had a feeling if I wanted to keep them I'd have to hide them in the bowels of the closet. If he really wanted his stuff back so badly, why didn't he just ask? It's not like I was going to sell his stuff on EBay or anything.
A/N: Captain Kangaroo was the longest running kids program in the US. One of the many sidekicks of the Captain was Mr. Green Jeans, who was a farmer/handyman and wore overalls in green denim.
thanks for reading! Alf