All right, since I haven't updated in forever, I decided to give you a longer chapter. This one starts out kind of sweet and fluffy, then turns very angsty for a little while. I'll let you find out the rest. I own nothing but the plot. Characters belong to JKR and the song belongs to Diamond Rio.
Chapter 7 -- Fight or Flight
"Do you, Harry James Potter, take Hermione Granger to be your lawfully wedded wife?" the minister asked. Harry's green eyes shone as he responded.
"I do."
"And do you, Hermione Jane Granger, take Harry Potter to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
Hermione looked deep into Harry's eyes before answering.
"I do."
"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."
Harry and Hermione took each others hands, gold rings shining. They gazed into each other's eyes for a moment before leaning toward each other.
Just as their lips grazed, a gunshot rang through the church, and Harry was gone. Hermione jumped back and looked around. She screamed when she found her husband on the floor, bleeding from the chest. Just then, someone grabbed her arm in a vice-like grip, and she felt cold metal being pressed into her neck.
She looked up and what she saw made her heart stop; her father had her arms pinned behind her back and a pistol pointed at her.
"You don't deserve to be this happy," he growled, "You deserve to die. You deserve what both your loser boyfriend and mother got. And you'll get what you deserve," he snarled as one last gunshot rang out.
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Hermione woke with a start, the sound of the pistol still ringing in her ears. Tears lingered with a cold sweat on her cheeks. She sat up, panting, and glanced at the clock; three AM.
"Hermione?"
She jumped when Harry set a hand on her leg, but just laid back down and tucked herself into his chest. She drew a few shaky breaths as he ran his hand through her hair, murmuring comforting words. Knowing it had been a nightmare about her father, Harry didn't push her to talk about it, but merely allowed her to scoot even closer to him.
"Easy," he whispered, "It's over now. It was just a bad dream."
Hermione nodded silently, tears lingering in her eyes.
They stayed in that position for a few more minutes before Hermione pulled back slightly. Reaching up, she placed a small kiss on Harry's jaw. Harry ran a hand through her hair and kissed her forehead in return.
"Just imagine," Hermione whispered, breaking the silence around them, and squeezing Harry's arm in excitement, "in six hours, we'll be married, and then we'll have our whole life ahead of us."
"I know what you mean," he said, rolling over onto his back and allowing Hermione to crawl on top of his chest.
"Nervous?" she asked, an almost playful glint in her eyes.
"A little, but I'm sure it'll get worse. I just hope I don't pass out," he answered honestly, causing Hermione to laugh.
"Well, it'll be kind of hard for us to get married if you're unconscious," she said, reaching over and flipping the radio on. Harry rolled his eyes at the random gesture, but he was getting used to it; she seemed to be going through a phase where music had to be playing. She gave him a pointed look when one of his favorite songs started.
Goin' out of my mind these days
Like I'm walkin' 'round in a haze
I can't think straight
I can't concentrate
And I need to shave
I go to work and I look tired
The boss man says
"Son, you're gonna get fired.
This ain't your style."
But behind my coffee cup
I just smile
What a beautiful mess,
What a beautiful mess I'm in
Spendin' all my time with you
There's nothing else I'd rather do
What a sweet addiction that I'm caught up in
'Cause I can't get enough
Can't stop the hunger for your love
What a beautiful
What a beautiful mess I'm in
This mornin' I put salt in my coffee
I put my shoes on the wrong feet
I'm losing my mind, I swear
It might be the death of me
But I don't care
What a beautiful mess,
What a beautiful mess I'm in
Spendin' all my time with you
There's nothing else I'd rather do
What a sweet addiction that I'm caught up in
'Cause I can't get enough
Can't stop the hunger for your love
What a beautiful
What a beautiful mess I'm in
Is it your eyes?
Is it your smile?
All I know is that you're driving me wild!
What a beautiful mess
What a beautiful mess I'm in
Spendin' all my time with you
There's nothing else I'd rather do
What a sweet addiction that I'm caught up in
'Cause I can't get enough
Can't stop the hunger for your love
What a beautiful
What a beautiful mess I'm in
What a beautiful mess
What a beautiful mess I'm in
Spendin' all my time with you
There's nothing else I'd rather do
What a sweet addiction that I'm caught up in
'Cause I can't get enough
Can't stop the hunger for your love
What a beautiful
What a beautiful mess I'm in
Harry reached over and switched a radio off, flipping Hermione around as he did so. A mischievous smile appeared on her lips when she noticed the familiar look of love in his eyes. He reached down and whispered in her ear.
"Can't stop the hunger for your love."
Her shout of laughter was cut short by him placing his lips on hers in a deep, passionate kiss that left their tongues clashing as they led to other activities, which I will not disclose as I want the rating of this story to stay down.
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When Harry and Hermione arrived at the church the next morning, they found a bustle of activity. Ginny was arguing with Fleur over the placement of candles, Remus and Tonks were setting paper decorations along the arms of the pews, and Fred and George could be seen placing small bouquets in brackets around the walls.
"If you two do anything to those flowers, I will personally skin you alive!" Mrs. Weasley warned her sons before noticing the couple had arrived, "Oh, there you are! Come along, we must get you changed. Not much time at all until the guests will start arriving," she continued rambling about minor details and things that needed to be done as she drug Hermione down a hallway. Harry just shrugged as Hermione sent him a look of 'what have I gotten into', but he was soon drug in the opposite direction in a similar matter by Remus.
Soon, Hermione and Mrs. Weasley reached a plain grey door through which Hermione was promptly pushed. Getting a sudden flashback, she cowered when the older woman went to put a hand on her shoulder.
"Are you all right, dear?"
"Fine," Hermione muttered, taking a deep breath to calm herself down, "Just… tired."
Hermione turned to look at her dress, not caring nor hearing if Mrs. Weasley responded or not. It was a typical white wedding gown. Sleeveless, with just a touch of lace on the neckline and hem. She reached out to touch the soft satin, tears springing to her eyes as the reality of the situation hit her. In three hours, she was getting married… with no members of her family in the audience. Nobody. She let out a sob and, letting go of her dress, fell to her knees, fighting the urge to cry out as an inexplicable anger bubbled up inside of her. She couldn't help but hear her father's voice.
'You're worthless. Nobody cares about you. Nobody loves you. You deserve to die. You never deserved to be born. You are a worthless… piece… of crap that never will amount to anything!'
"He was right," Hermione opened her eyes, not realizing she had shut them, "I don't deserve this."
"Hermione?" Mrs. Weasley asked, cautiously placing a hand on Hermione's shoulder. However, this was the wrong move.
Without even thinking, Hermione was on her feet with her wand pointed at Mrs. Weasley's chest, anger as she had never felt it before coursing through her. Rage so thorough that she couldn't think, couldn't feel, could barely control her own body. Blinded by tears, Hermione waved her wand violently.
"Bombarda!" she screamed, pointing at the door, which promptly blew off its hinges and slammed into the opposite wall.
"Hermione!"
"Shut up!" Hermione screamed at the top of her lungs, "He was right, and my only mistake was not seeing it sooner. I can't get married! I don't deserve any of this. I'm leaving."
Without another word, she turned and ran out the shattered doorway. She didn't know where she was going, and she didn't care who tried to stop her. She had to get out, and get away. She had no choice but to run.
However, she was brought to an abrupt halt when met by Remus and Mrs. Weasley who were guarding the front entrance to the church. Her eyes flashed dangerously at the challenge.
"Let me out," she said simply.
"No," Remus said calmly.
"Let. Me. Out!"
"Hermione, what has gotten into you?" Fred asked, coming up behind her, but had to jump to the side to avoid the Stunning Spell she shot at him before turning to the other two, shaking in rage, but before she could say anything, a new voice sounded.
"Let her go," Harry said simply as Hermione cried out from having her chance to yell taken away.
"But, Harry, she's--"
"I know. Let her go."
Without another word, Remus and Mrs. Weasley stood aside. Seeing this opportunity, Hermione ran, blinded by tears, down the street. Soon she was gone. Everyone turned to Harry.
"She had to," he said, answering their unasked questions, "This was too much for her. Getting away from it will help. She's having doubts and flashbacks, even though, consciously, she knows this is what she wants. She's remembering her father telling her she's worthless, and she doesn't deserve any of this. She believes he's right. The fact that she's most likely thinking she has no family here probably doesn't help."
"Will she be all right?" Remus asked, looking at the door Hermione had just ran out of.
"I had better follow her. She couldn't have gone that far. She'll calm down, and, hopefully, come back."
"All right. We'll hold down the fort until you two get back," Remus said. Harry nodded before exiting the church and jogging down the same way Hermione disappeared.
As Harry ran, thoughts ran through his mind as he contemplated where Hermione would go. He stopped at every street corner, listening and looking, trying to figure out if she had turned off her path, before continuing on his search.
After ten minutes of running along various streets, he still hadn't found her. Starting to get worried, he picked up his pace. Suddenly something clicked. He knew where she would go. He doubled back a couple blocks, then turned left. Pretty soon, he came to a set of wrought-iron gates. The ancient hinges screeched as he pushed the gate open.
The cemetery was still as he walked along the brick pathway, and the only sound was distant crying. He followed the sound and soon came upon his fiancée. She looked as though she had simply collapsed next to a small marble grave.
As Harry stepped off the path, he purposely set his foot on a small twig, which promptly snapped loudly. At the crack, Hermione jumped to her feet, but it was obvious she had little energy left after her outburst. She swayed and eventually fell back down. Harry walked forward, watching Hermione carefully, although all the fight seemed to have left her. She turned back to her mother's headstone as he came closer. He merely sat down next to her, knowing she would do something when she was ready. Everything was silent for several minutes.
"If you've come to punish me, I deserve it," Hermione spoke up suddenly.
"No, you don't," Harry said, "And that's not why I'm here."
"Why are you here?"
"Because I care about you. And I was worried when you ran out like that --"
"Which is exactly why I deserve to be punished! I ran out on your wedding! It's why you don't deserve me. Because I can't handle a ceremony that's supposed to symbolize the future because I'm stuck in the past," she finished, laying her forehead on her knees. Harry listened to this speech, fighting back the urge to interrupt, but he didn't want to get her yelling again, so he just bit his tongue. He hesitated before he spoke to make sure she was finished.
"Mione…" he started in a soft voice, gently placing a hand on her back, "I'm not going to punish you, because you don't deserve to be punished. You did what your instincts told you to do. That's why I didn't try to hold you back like the others did. I let you run because if I held you in that church, things would have gotten worse. I knew you might end up hurting someone, or worse, hurting yourself. And maybe getting married this soon was a bad idea --"
"No," Hermione said suddenly, looking up at him with tearstained eyes, "It's not. This is all my fault. Let's just go back to the church and get this over with," she made to stand up, but when she saw Harry looking at her somberly, she sank back down.
"But is that what you want?" he asked, "To have our wedding something to 'just get this over with'," when she didn't respond he asked again, "Is that what you want, Mione?"
"No," she answered truthfully, "it isn't."
"Then what is it that you want? To postpone it? We can wait until after the babies are born, if that'll work better."
"No. I want to marry you now. Today. I love you," she finished, looking up at him. They just stared at each other for a few minutes.
"Come here," Harry invited, opening his arms. Hermione crawled onto his lap as he wrapped his arms and legs around her, with her own legs pulled as close as they could be.
Inside this shelter, Hermione relaxed. She sighed as she rested her forehead against the crook of his neck, closing her eyes as tears started spilling again.
"I'm sorry," she cried, tucking herself closer to him, "I really do want to marry you. I just… don't know what happened to me."
"What did happen, Mione?" he asked, looking down at her.
"I just told you, I don't know."
"You told me you don't know what happened to you. What else happened? Talk through it; maybe you'll figure something out. You always do."
"I… don't know. I guess I just saw my dress and how perfect it was, and I just… snapped. I started hearing my father's voice telling me how I don't deserve to be happy, and I just… lost it. I didn't really know what I was doing after that. It was like someone else was controlling me."
"Someone was controlling you," Harry said, and Hermione looked up at him in surprise, "but only because you let him. You're still used to doing only what other people tell you. Now, you have to decide for yourself. My questions are simple; When do you want to get married? And are you sure it's me you want to marry?"
"Yes, I'm sure I want to marry you," she said with a slightly exasperated tone, "I love you. My question is," she paused, looking up at him with fearful eyes, "do you still love me?"
Instead of answering, Harry captured Hermione's lips with his own. He was half expecting her to push him away, startled by the sudden gesture, but she didn't. She pushed against his lips, desperately wanting to deepen the kiss. They did, and their tongues were left in a battle. After another minute, however, they broke apart, both slightly panting.
"That answer your question?" Harry asked, a slight grin on his face. When she nodded breathlessly he continued, "But you still haven't answered mine. When? When will you be ready, if ever?"
She looked thoughtful for a minute.
"Now," she answered, "Can we go back?"
He looked into her eyes, looking for any hint of hesitation, of fear. Finding none, he smiled and nodded.
"We can go back."
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R and R please.