A/N: LOL no Luanne doesn't have autism. Miley was just comparing the principal's way of talking to what he thought was a popstar to the way you'd expect someone to talk to a disabled child.

I instinctively screamed. The principal chuckled. "Now, now, Miley, I know you are excited, but I'm sure that Hannah's ears have handled all the screaming they could handle from adoring fans." I rolled my eyes. "They probably have, but it was from listening to her victims, not from adoring fans," I murmured under my breath. But "Hannah" heard me and she scrunched up her face unattractively (not much of a change) and said in her me-accent, "Excuse me, sir, may I please speak with, um, Miley privately for a second? I like to connect with my fans personally." The principal smiled and wandered off, whispering, "What a saint."

The second we were safe in the confinements of the portable dressing room, Luanne pinned me against the wall with arms strengthened from years of pig wrestling. "Leesten up, Myyyleee," she sneered in her original accent, "I here planned this little supprazz for ya. And you ain't gonna ruin it, ya hear? I just wanna get away from my folks and get some time in the limelight. Is that too hard for me to ask? I won't spoil your seek-uh-ret. I just wanna see what it's like being number one. So let me do what I want and you won't get hurt."

I was relatively glad that she wasn't planning on ripping off her wig the second she stepped on stage, but you couldn't completely trust a devious person such as Luanne. So I delved further into her promise. "And what if I don't?" I asked delinquently. She pushed into my shoulders harder, pinching the skin. "Then I will expose your secret," she said in my voice. "I mean, come on, I already look exactly like you, both ways around. And I sound like you. Oh, and I know everything personal there is to know about you, since I'm your cousin." I had to break her streak! There had to be something wrong with this plan for her! "Well, Luanne, in case you haven't yet realized—you can't sing," I pointed out sourly. "How are you going to cover that up when you go out there and grab the microphone? People are going to expect my beautiful voice to come out of the speakers, not a broken can opener's." Luanne formed slits with her eyes. "Thank you for so rudely reminding me. Besides, it's not like you sing live. I brought a lip synching track—I'll just use that. I practiced weeks before coming here, and it actually looks like I have your voice. It'll go seamlessly," she assured, still using my voice. I stared at her blankly. "I sing live," I informed her. She gave me one quick shove into the wall and moaned. "You are so stupid," she spat. "Well," she said, suddenly turning bubbly, "time for my show. Oh, and one more thing—don't tell your dad, my manager, that I'm not really you. See you, loser."

"You can't make me leave."

"Watch me. Security!"

Okay, so maybe she could. In a second's time I was back in my chair, explaining the whole situation to Lily on paper, which would be ripped to shreds and hidden with the rest of our note debris in the bottom of our backpacks. She perused the note and then gasped. "She's going to pose as you?" she questioned loudly. A few heads turned around us. I clapped a hand over Lily's mouth and made the crazy sign with my other. The heads faced forward. "Yes," I hissed. "And there's no way I can stop her without blowing my secret. Odds are I'll be the one who blows it since I'm so klutzy. Lily, what am I going to do?"

And Lily surprised me. "Ride with it," she advised. "What?" I practically screamed. "I'm just supposed to live my regular life and let her live my other life as if it's no big deal? How is that going to work? And what if she messes everything up, which she's apt to do?"

"Don't worry. If you do anything she doesn't like, she'll reveal your secret. But if you stay out of her way and let her be you for a bit while we devise a plan to safely steal back your title, she won't expose a thing," Lily calmly and patiently explained.

"Oh…I understand. Good idea. That way, there's less stress on my part. But it's going to be kind of odd watching her be me and on TV and at my concerts." Lily had a plan for this too. "Your dad is still the official manager of Hannah, since the whole reasons Luanne's here is to escape her parents and get the attention she never received (or deserved), meaning that her Robby Ray look-a-like father isn't posing as your father. But because she told you not tell him that she was really you (weird sentence), you're going to have to discreetly tell him and make him swear to be subtle the whole time. Make sure that your father erases all of Hannah's plans. Reschedule concerts, postpone interviews, whatever. Just make sure Luanne's agenda is clear. That way she can't do much damage. And he'll keep rescheduling and postponing until you've gotten your position back." I smiled. "One second." I whipped out my phone and flipped through the calendar (which was password protected). "Great! Hannah's free this week. That's odd, but it's obviously fate! Good. Now I don't have to upset any fans or talk show hosts. Trust me; you don't want to get either of them angry!" Suddenly, the lights dimmed and, from offstage, the principal announced, "Ladies and gents, it's my astounding pleasure to present you, Hannah Montana!"

The drum rhythm to "Best of Both Worlds" began pounding out of the speakers. Luanne had apparently been rehearsing her dance combinations and watching my concert tapes, because she looked professional and put-together, different than usual. She didn't miss a beat or a cue. She came in perfectly. I was shocked. She was basically Hannah except for the fact that she couldn't hold a note. After she successfully completed the number, she bowed politely and daintily to the roaring applause emitting from everybody but Lily and I. (In case you're wondering, it turned out Oliver wasn't there that day). After the mini-concert was finished (four songs only), Luanne made a final bow and left the stage. I must say she was quite a natural up there. If only she could sing!

A/N: Semi bad ending I know, I have a lot of those. But I don't know where else to take this chapter that wouldn't be excruciatingly long and never ending.