Length: about 390 words (short, so short!)
Disclaimer: Poor JKR. She has a lot to to endure with us many fanfiction writers violating her wonderful characters. Let's all shed a tear for her - and then write some more!
Author's Notes: Not too happy with this chapter but not too displeased as well. You know our motto: Have fun reading...
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4. Want And Need #2 – Reason
He needed her. Now need, that wasn't really what worried him that much. Even if he thought he needed her, he could always still go without needing anyone. Because he hadn't needed anyone for a long time. He was aware that people around him didn't agree with that and probably, he had lied to himself all the time anyway. But he got used to it, thus it was all right, he supposed. And even if it wasn't, that was just the way things were and he accepted them, as always.
What really worried him, however, was that he wanted her. Yes, he wanted her, more than anyone else he had ever wanted. The beautiful sight of her, the ever-changing hair of hers, the scrunching up of her little nose, the twinkle in her eyes, the reds of her lips… He wanted all of that – and more – and it was painfully devouring him little by little. Devouring him because he was very much aware of the fact that he could never, ever, have all of these things and that eventually, as soon as he would hurt her again, she would go and outright give them to someone else instead. And that someone clearly wouldn't reject because rejecting her was foolish. Well… he was a fool, he supposed.
And quite certainly, one night she came to tell him that she loved him and needed him and he was aware that very possibly, this could be the last chance for him – and her. However, as much as he struggled with himself, he couldn't help but hold on to reason because reason was what had kept him alive for so long…
Her stare bore into his eyes and then shifted to the floor and all he could think of was not to answer at all, because there was nothing reasonable that he could answer, not really. It was either hurt her for now and give her a chance for the future, or make her happy now and take every chance she could have in the future away from her. Option one was right; option two, however, felt right. Nevertheless, he didn't want to decide since both options eventually were wrong, therefore in the end, he submitted to his reason and said nothing at all.
Well, he should have known better. Reason, as it was, just simply sucked.
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Be reasonable: Review! (Eh... please?)
Note: I'm very aware of the fact that the word sucked is more American than British. I just wasn't able to think of any other word than this. I hate not being English, really. Just makes everything so difficult. So, suggestions, anyone? Please? (Or can it stay that way? Because I'm not sure...)
Do you know the feeling when you read other fics and think: "Merlin, these are good! Why ever can't my own fics be this good?" - There's a reason why envy is one of the seven deadly sins. And yes, it still gets me anyway... -sigh-
Unbelievably jealous Jord sings a sorrowful song for you (why not choose which one?); bye bye und tschüß