Disclaimer: Teen Titans is the Property of DC Comics

Chapter 6

By the time Starfire had Ravens room made up she'd taken her medication and was ready to lie down. The two Titan women helped her get in and made sure she was all set. Within one hour she'd gone from running around and taking care of five little kids to barely being able to stand up on her own. Once she was in bed they were shocked to hear her ask to talk to Beast Boy.

"Are you sure she wanted me?" asked Beast Boy, standing outside her door.

"Yes, she said she wished to speak to you," said Starfire.

"And if ya get her all upset I'll split your lip," threatened Bumblebee.

"Hey, she's the one who's been all pissy," said Beast Boy in defense.

"Please, Beast Boy?" pleaded Starfire.

He sighed and said, "Fine, I'll make sure I don't get her upset."

"Thank you," said Starfire.

"Now get in there," said Bumblebee, opening the door up. He went in and she closed it behind him.

Beast Boy saw Raven sitting up in her bed, waiting for him. "Hey, Rae," he said, pleasantly.

"Hi," she said weakly.

"So, uh, you wanted to talk to me?" he said scratching the back of his head and walking over to her.

"Yes, I did," she said. "I just wanted to say… I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?" he asked.

"For how I've been snapping at you ever since you found me in the library," said Raven shamefully.

"Hey, don't worry about it," he said with a smile. "I mean, I'm kinda used to you snapping at me. It's like stepping back in time, actually."

"Well, I want you to know I'm going to try to not do that anymore," said Raven. "The fact is, when I'm snapping and yelling at you, I'm not mad at you. I'm just getting out my frustration. You're just the easiest for me to take that frustration out on. Actually, you always have been."

"Oh," said Beast Boy, taking a seat on her bed. "Well, I'm glad it's not me making you upset."

"No, it's not you," she chuckled sadly. "It's just… the truth is I'm not dealing with my situation very well. I mean, up until now I thought I'd come to terms with it and made peace with the fact that I'm going to die and probably very soon." Her eyes then became very sad and she looked down into her lap. "But, being here, it's made me realize all of the things I'm going to miss out on and the things I'm never going to get to have." He watched as she bit her quivering lip and did her best to hold back the tears in her eyes.

"Raven, it's okay to be upset," he said, softly. "I mean, we're all upset about it. But what's really bothering us is that you don't want us helping you. Why have you insisted on doing all of this on your own?"

"Because once I allow you all to help me I can no longer be in denial," said Raven. "I have to finally accept that I'm… I'm… dying." She began trembling all over and she placed her hand over her eyes, covering the threatening tears she was still too embarrassed to show. "D-Do you have any idea how scary this is, Beast Boy? To know that any day could be your last and then you'll be gone? To actually feel your body betray you and give up without a fight? There was so much I wanted to do. I… I don't want to die. I'm not ready. I'm not ready damn it!"

He watched helplessly as Raven began to cry and suddenly realized that the situation was real. She really was dying. At this very moment her body was slowly shutting down and soon she'd be gone forever. He reached out to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Rae, we're not gonna let you go without a fight," he said. "I promise. If you're not ready to die then we're not gonna let you. We just got you back; we're not ready to lose you again."

Raven pulled away from him and did her best to calm down. She took in a few deep breaths and cleared her throat. "I'm sure you still haven't gotten over Terra's death," she said as normally as she could. "It must have been so hard on you."

"Well, it wasn't easy, but it wasn't as hard as this," said Beast Boy.

"At least you still have Crystal," said Raven. "You're so lucky, Beast Boy. She's such a wonderful little girl. Nothing like you at all."

Beast Boy had to laugh. No matter what, she was still the same old Raven. "Yeah, she's one of the best things that's ever happened to me," said Beast Boy. "I'm thankful for her every day."

Raven gave him a smile, but that only led into more tears falling. "You have no idea how blessed you are," she said, wiping her tears away quickly, but they were replaced instantly with more. "I had actually planned on some day getting married and having children. Can you believe it? Me, 'Raven', wanting a family." She laughed bitterly at this. "But, that's never going to happen."

"Rae, is there anything I can do for you?" he asked, his heart going out to her. "Or any of us for that matter?"

She shook her head and said, "No. I just want to be with you guys. It'll be nice to see how happy you all are. And I'll get to be with the kids for a little while. All I hope is that I can just go in my sleep. No fuss, no messy attempt to bring me back. Just in my sleep; nice, easy, and painless. And, if I'm somewhat lucky and God decides that my soul isn't as evil as he thinks, maybe I'll even get to go to heaven and see my mother again. It'd sure be a lot better than having to stay with my father for the rest of eternity."

"Stop it," said Beast Boy. He was looking away from her and he was shaking all over. He hated hearing her talk this way. She was young; she should've been enjoying life like they all were. Was she really destined for such a tragic end? It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. "I don't want you to talk about death anymore."

"Well, I don't know what else to talk about," she said, wiping her cheeks. "It's all I can think about now. Trust me, I hate it just as much as you."

He stood up, still unable to look at her, and said, "Get some rest, Rae. I'll see you in the morning." And with that he turned and walked out of her room.

He closed the door behind him and leaned against it for the moment. His chest felt heavy and a lump grew in his throat. He bit his lip and ran to his room as quickly as he could. Once there he closed and locked his door then did something he hadn't done in a very long time. He cried. He sat on his bed and he wept many many tears. He hadn't even cried when Terra had died. But now he cried and cried for Raven.

He only stopped when he realized that he had to put Crystal to bed. Life had to go on, despite how cruel it could be. He took in a few deep breaths and went to the bathroom to wash his face. The last thing he needed was Crystal asking if he had been crying. He was her strong, ultra cool daddy. Not a big crybaby.

He went to the playroom and found that only she and Taye were up. Nicole must have already been in bed. She was currently lying on the floor with her dolls and Taye was playing with dinosaurs. He knocked on the doorframe to get their attention.

"Oh, hi daddy," said Crystal with a smile.

"Hey, it's time for bed," he said, walking in. "Put your dolls away."

"Aw, I don't wanna go to bed!" she whined.

"I know, but you've got school tomorrow," said Beast Boy.

"Aw, why couldn't I have PM kindergarten?" she said, standing up. "I hate getting up so early."

"Yeah, so do I," he said. "Let's go."

She sighed and gathered her dolls up. She very carefully laid them back in their little beds and then made her way out of the room with her father right behind her.

"How come Taye doesn't have to go to bed?" asked Crystal as she dragged her feet down the hallway.

"I'm sure Uncle Cy's gonna tell him to go to bed any minute now," said Beast Boy. Sure enough, as they rounded the corner Cyborg passed them on his way to the playroom. "See?"

The two went to her room and he helped her change into her pajamas. Her room was covered with toys and clothes she'd put on during the day. She was known for dressing up in everything she owned at least once a day. Her cleaning etiquette was obviously inherited from her father.

"Daddy?" she asked as she crawled into bed.

"Yes?" he said.

"Can Raven read me a bedtime story?" she asked as she got tucked in.

"Not tonight, babe," he said. "Raven's already in bed."

"She is?" said Crystal, quite surprised. "But I thought grownups went to bed really late!"

"Not all grownups," he laughed. "Now, give me a kiss." Crystal sat up and gave him a big kiss, then lay down so she could be tucked in again. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, daddy," she said with a smile.

"I love you," he said, standing up.

"Love you, too," she giggled.

He turned the light off and then turned back to her. "And, Crystal?"

"Yes, daddy?" she asked.

"Go to sleep," he said. "I don't wanna see you up again until morning, got it?"

"Got it," she nodded.

He smiled and closed her door. He knew no matter what she was going to get up again for some reason, any reason really, but if he didn't tell her to stay in bed she'd use it against him.

He went to the common room and found the rest of the adults, save Cyborg who was putting Taye to bed, on the couch relaxing after a long day. He gladly went over and took a seat as well. He felt absolutely drained.

"So?" said Bumblebee.

"…so?" repeated Beast Boy, confused.

"So how did your talk with Raven go?" asked Starfire.

"Oh, that," said Beast Boy. "Uh, basically she just apologized for yelling at me and that she's happy she's back."

"So, you don't think she's going to try to runaway again?" asked Nightwing.

"No," said Beast Boy. "She's really scared. She confessed that she's not ready to die and I don't think any of us are ready for her to die either. I just don't know what we can do for her."

"Make her comfortable," said Bumblebee. "What more can we do?"

"There's got to be something that can keep her body alive," said Nightwing. "I mean, people are living into their nineties and hundreds easily these days. There must be something that can keep a mid-twenty year old body alive."

"She's been seeing doctors for years," said Beast Boy. "I'm sure they've done all they can."

"Well that's not good enough for me," said Nightwing. "How about you?"

"It is not good enough for me either," Starfire sniffled.

"Or me," said Bumblebee, crossing her arms. "And I'm speaking for my husband, too."

"I made a promise to her that we wouldn't let her go without a fight," said Beast Boy. "And I'll be damned if her body's gonna make a liar out of me."

"Alright, then we're all in agreement," said Nightwing.

A little while later they all headed of to bed. Beast Boy felt better now that everyone was behind him and that they weren't going to let Raven just slip away, like she thought. But ever since she'd said that she wanted to go in her sleep, he couldn't help but feel uneasy. On his way to bed he decided to check in on her, like he'd done the night before.

He found her fast asleep and still alive. He knew he'd have to check on her every night now to make sure she was still breathing. He wasn't sure what he'd do if some night he went in and found that she'd passed away. But he'd rather that he found her than someone else. He wasn't sure what he'd do if someone else had to break the news to him.