Summary: Joxer runs into a woman from his past, that triggers dark memories of his past, and secrets he doesn't want his friends to know.
Disclaimer: Hey if TPTB don't want Joxer then why should I have a disclaimer.
Xena rode slowly behind Joxer. She had been keeping a close eye on Joxer during the last few days. There were visible signs that something was seriously wrong with him. There were shadows under his eyes from lack of sleep. His baggy, tattered clothes were hanging more profoundly on his body, and he was becoming more withdrawn as each day went by.
It was more than just the incident with Jalin. The next day he'd been back to his normal self, until he'd received that message. He'd stuttered out that it was just from an old friend but when she'd tried to take it from him, he'd tossed it into the nearby fireplace.
Then there was the horse. After riding behind Gabrielle for the last year, he'd suddenly insisted that he buy a horse of his own. The look of utter hurt on Gabrielle's face had nearly broken her heart. She was aware how much the bard liked him riding with her.
For her it wasn't about the physical contact or anything. It was the fact that he would focus his entire attention on her, and when they rode together she could talk about anything or nothing without having to worry about him putting on some mighty warrior act. She always looked forward to that, whether she wanted to admit it or not.
Then there was how jittery he'd suddenly gotten. He refused to hold Eve, he jumped at any sort of physical contact. If it was Xena or Gabrielle that touched him, it didn't seem to matter, he would jerk away with a sort of panic in his eyes.
Gabrielle trotted closer to her with a small frown on her face. " Xena, I think there might be something wrong with Joxer."
Xena clutched Argos reins, ' Gee you think...' It amazed her how a woman who was normally so smart could be so incredibly dense when it came to Joxer." It took you long enough to figure that out."
Xena met Gabrielles confused look and took pity on the young bard. " He's been like this since he got that message." She trailed off giving her friend time to think about it. All she needed was a push in the right direction.
" If there was something wrong he would've told us."
Xena felt the urge to grab her friend and shake her. " He doesn't tell us a lot of things." She glanced back as the bard came to a complete stop and just stared at her like she'd just announce that the world is round. " He's a private person."
She rolled her eyes at the blank look that seemed to engulf Gabrielle. By some measure of luck Amber took it upon herself to catch up with her.
" ...but...but...he..."
" For all his boasting and stories, how much has he really told us?"
The realization of what Xena said hit her with such force she nearly fell off her horse. " He didn't even tell us about Jace..."
" Or Jett, or where he really grew up, or who his parents are, or anything else." If someone came up to them right now and asked them about Joxer the only thing they could tell them for sure was that he was a triplet and their friend.
" What could have possibly been in that message to do this to him?"
Xena let Gabrielle catch up with Joxer before muttering softly, " I don't know, but I intend to find out."
" I've been thinking..." She paused waiting for Joxer to do his usual puppy eyed ' you have my full attention and then some ' look. Instead he just kept staring off into the distance without any sign of knowing she was there.
Her left foot ' accidentally ' shot out and kicked him, " I've been thinking. The three of us should take a vacation. No gods, no wars. Just us and relaxation."
The shadows under his sad eyes seemed to darken and become more haunted, deliberately keeping his face toward the road. " Somehow I don't think the gods will just put the war on hold so we can have a week of peace."
She swallowed the lump in her throat and reached her hand out to touch his arm, shocked when his right hand snatched it less than two inches from him. She was only dimly aware of the pain in her wrist as she stared into his eyes. Fear. He was afraid, of what? Her?
He cleared his throat and let go. " I'm sorry I...I.." He stopped as he noticed the fork up ahead, almost totally freezing up as their horses started to veer towards the right. " Oh gods..."
" Joxer?" Gabrielle stopped rubbing her wrists at the helpless panic in his voice.
He glanced from Gabrielle to Xena and back. " I...uh...I'll catch up with you guys in a couple of weeks." He barely managed to get out as he dug his heels into the sides of his horses, and taking off in at an almost suicidal pace.
In one second of silent communication they turned their horses around and took off after their friend. The was no way in Hades they were going to let him go off on his own in that kind of condition.
The dark brooding man nodded with grim satisfaction as he followed the two women. They would keep Joxer out of harms reach, if the fool didn't go and do something incredibly stupid. He grimaced at that thought, the problem was he didn't have to do anything, fate usually did it for him.
Right now he needed to figure out where Joxer needed him more. With him to see him through this or taking care of the problem that was slowly destroying him. The black leather clad figure growled and took off at full gallop, his mind telling him what his heart knew.
" We're being followed."
Xena reached out and grabbed hold of Star's reins to keep Joxer from taking off again. Neither woman had mentioned his reaction earlier or the chase that had ensued. It had taken them close to three miles to get him to slow down. The guy knew how to ride, she'd give him that.
" I'm following Joxer not you."
The would be warrior let the last four days of tension drain from his body as he slide from his horse and through his arms around his brother. Jett hugged Joxer close while glaring at the two women, just daring them to say anything.
" Shhh, It's alright your big brothers here now. I won't let anyone hurt you..." he muttered softly.