Disclaimer: Teen Titans is the Property of DC Comics

Chapter 17

It wasn't long before Beast Boy had to go pick Crystal up from school. Of course, she immediately began asking question about his whereabouts that morning. He quickly thought of some random excuse and before she could ask him anything else told her that her room was being painted and she'd be staying with Raven. Needless to say, she no longer cared about where her father had been that morning.

They were soon back at the tower and Crystal went running off to see her now barren room. She then looked into Ravens room and saw all of her belongings crammed inside. And while Crystal looked around, Beast Boy went to see what everyone else was up to. He found Bumblebee alone in the common room, wiping the kitchen counter down.

"Hey, where is everyone?" he asked.

"NW's in the evidence room, Sparky's out getting parts for the T-car, Star's putting the twins down for a nap, and Raven's out," said Bumblebee.

"Out?" he said, surprised. "Out where? You let her go out alone? Does she at least have one of the kids with her?"

"No, she went out alone," said Bumblebee, a bit coldly to him.

"She's not supposed to do that!" he said, very concerned.

"Well, she needed to get out of here and be alone, so Star and me snuck her out," said Bumblebee. "By the way, she left something for you in your room."

"She did?" he said. "What is it?"

"How should I know," she said, shrugging in a fake voice. "Go see for yourself."

Beast Boy looked at her oddly and then headed for his room. He found Crystal sitting on Ravens bed happily reading to her self. She waved to him with a large smile and he waved back, glad to see her so happy with the situation. He went to his room and quickly looked around for anything Raven might have left him. He discovered that there was a note on his bed. He picked it up and under it laid the engagement ring.

Beast Boy,

Thank you very much for offering to marry me, but I can't in good conscience follow through with it. It's clear that you're not over Terra's passing yet. You wish that she was still here and that she'd never died. And if that were the case then you never would've found me and I'd probably be dead by now. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be a damsel for you to save. I'm not going to be your replacement for Terra. It's quite apparent that you're still in love with her and you'll always be in love with her. I don't want things to be awkward between us, so let's just pretend none of this ever happened.

-Raven

Beast Boy felt completely in shock and looked at the engagement ring that lay on his bed, dumbstruck. He picked it up and looked at the note again. She thought that he was still in love with Terra? How could she think something like that? They'd broken up because they fell out of love years ago. And she thought he was trying to use her as a replacement? That was the last thing he'd ever think about doing. He had to find her and set everything straight.

He ran back to the common room and found Bumblebee sitting on the couch, flipping through a magazine. He knew she knew what was going on and she knew where Raven was.

"Bee, where is she?" he asked bluntly.

"Why?" asked Bumblebee, not looking up from her magazine.

"I need to talk to her," he said.

"Why?" asked Bumblebee, turning a page.

"You know why," he said, his temper growing short.

"Well I'm not going tell you where she is," she said, still refusing to look at him.

"Why not?!" he said.

"Because she needs to be away from you right now, that's why," she said plainly. "And you need to think about what the hell you want from her."

"I don't want anything from her!" he yelled. "I've never wanted anything from her. I just wanna make her happy."

"Oh, yeah, and she's just flipping happy right now," said Bumblebee sarcastically.

"Please, just tell me where she is," he said, growing tired. It had already been a long day and it didn't look like it was going to get any easier.

"No," she said. "She doesn't need or want you around her right now."

"But she thinks I'm still in love with Terra!" he exclaimed.

"Well, duh!" said Bumblebee. "It's pretty damn hard not to think that when you make claims about wishing she was still here and wanting to be with her."

"I didn't mean it like that, though," he said. "Look, just tell me where she is so I can explain everything."

"Beast Boy, I told you this whole marrying Raven thing was a bad idea," sighed Bumblebee. "Because I knew you'd do something stupid like this. Now she's hurting even more because of you."

"I know and I wanna fix this!" he said. "Now tell me where she is!"

"Prove to me that you deserve to talk to her again," said Bumblebee, putting her magazine aside. "Because if you go to her and make her feel even worse I'm going to get in trouble for giving away her hiding place. Now tell me why I should tell you where she is."

Beast Boy was grinding his teeth at this point he was so frustrated and angry. Why should he have to explain himself? He was sick of having to explain his actions. He was the one who found Raven, after all. He was the one who brought her back to the tower, made sure she was comfortable, and did everything he could to make sure she lived as long as possible. And yet, after all of that, they still didn't think he had her best interests at heart?

They stood there, staring each other down. And every second they spent standing there was a second that Raven was out there all alone. She could be really sick right now, passed out in an alley, and they wouldn't know. He wanted to know that she was alright. He wanted her back with him so he could protect her. He wanted to tell her that he wasn't in love with Terra.

"Bumblebee, please, I'm begging you," he said, growing desperate. "Tell me where she is."

"Tell me why I should tell you where she is," she repeated.

He felt his anger fading into panic as his mind raced. He realized that he could lose her after all this. After he'd fought so hard to get her to open up and fight to live, she may retreat once again. What would he do? He couldn't let that happen. Raven had helped him become more like his old fun loving self. She'd become a mother to Crystal. She was everything he'd ever wanted. And that's when he made a realization.

"I… I'm in love with her," he said. "I've fallen in love with her."

Bumblebee was taken back and she looked at him queerly. "You're… You're in love with her?" she said, shocked.

"I… yeah, I am," he said, a small laugh coming through his still shocked exterior. "I'm in love with her."

"Are ya sure?" asked Bumblebee, actually interested in what he had to say now. "I mean… really?"

"Yeah, really," he said, smiling. "I'm in love with her. It's all clear to me; it's finally clear to me! Ever since she's comeback into our lives, back into my life, I've felt like she's filled a void inside of me; inside of my heart. A void that Terra left and had never actually filled. That's why I wanna make things right. I wanna marry her not just because I wanna make her happy but because I… I love her."

"Awe," said Bumblebee, fanning her face with her hands. "You're gonna make me cry, Beast Boy."

"So… can you tell me where she is now?" he asked.

Bumblebee took in a few deep breaths and said, "She's at the library, you moron. Where else would she be if she wasn't in the tower?"

"Ugh, of course!" he said, slapping his head. "Thanks! Keep an eye on Crystal for me!" And with that he ran out of there.

"Good luck you green Casanova," said Bumblebee, shaking her head.

He literally flew to the library as quickly as he could. He dodged many birds like himself and within minutes had made it. He quickly turned back to his human form, dropped onto the steps of the library, and ran inside.

As usual, the library was just as quiet as usual. He was tempted to call her name out as loudly as he could, but then decided against it. She was mad enough at him; if he destroyed the sanctity of the library she'd never forgive him. So he kept his mouth shut and began running all around looking for her. He checked the children's section, but she wasn't there. He'd hoped she would be, for that meant she'd be feeling well. Since she wasn't, he decided to just wait a moment and listen. Sure enough, he heard sharp cough echo throughout the large building and, with his keen hearing, he followed it.

He found her upstairs, sitting in a large chair, reading. He immediately felt relieved and went to her. She looked tired and he could even detect a bit of sadness in her face. Her hand stayed near her mouth, ready to cover it if she began to cough once again. He quickly went to her, smiling.

"There you are," he said.

She looked up and seemed shocked to see him. She then frowned and said, "What're you doing here?"

"Well, I'm here to set the record straight," he said and reached into his pocket. He took the engagement ring out and held it out to her. "And to give this back to you."

She looked at it and then looked back into her book. "I don't want it," she said, plainly.

"Fair enough," he said, withdrawing his hand and crouching down in front of her. "So, can we talk?"

"I don't feel like talking," she said, coldly.

"I know, but I do," he said. "So you just have to listen."

"Beast Boy, I'm in no mood to listen to you make excuses and try to defend your character," she sighed. "And who told you I was here?"

"I figured it out," he lied. "I mean, where else would you go? Now, listen, I'm sorry if you got the impression that I'm still in love with Terra; I'm not. I haven't been in love with her for some time. And when I said that I wished she was still alive, I only said that because I feel so guilty. I didn't mean that I wished I'd never found you and that you died all alone. I'd think you'd know that by now."

"Well, evidently, I don't," she said, her mood never changing. "And how can you say that you're not in love with Terra? You said you'd give anything to change what had happened so that she could be alive. You'd be willing to neglect Crystal just to give Terra what she'd wanted."

"I wasn't thinking when I said that, I admit it," he sighed. "Because if I was really willing to do something like that I would have done it. But, I chose to be with Crystal and spend more of my time on her than Terra. I only said that I'd change things because of the guilt I feel, not because it'd be right."

"Then you need to get rid of the guilt before you say something else stupid," said Raven, plainly. "God forbid Crystal heard you make such claims and make her feel like it's her fault her mother's dead."

Beast Boy was quiet for a moment then said, "I hadn't thought of that."

"Where is she, by the way?" asked Raven, looking back into her book. "I sure hope she's safe with you not around."

"Oh no, you're not pulling that manipulative act again," said Beast Boy, firmly. "You're not gonna get rid of me that easily. I came here to make amends."

"Beast Boy, you need help and you need to heal before we can do anything like that," said Raven, desperately. "The wounds of your heart are still fresh and this guilt is only letting them remain open and they're festering. I don't know what you should do, but something has to be done. You're never going to be able to move on in your life if you don't heal."

"I want to heal," he said, moving a little closer to her. "I want to get rid of all of this guilt inside of me. I just… I don't know how. All of my life I've kept all the guilt I've felt hidden behind my happy-go-lucky attitude just so I wouldn't have to deal with it. And now that I have to deal with it I'm not sure what to do."

"Then you need to figure it out," she said, closing her book. She shakily stood up, to which he rose as well, and pushed past him. She threw her book on a cart that was full of other books and made her way down the stairs.

Beast Boy's first instinct was to run after her, but he stopped himself. He stood there near the chair she'd been sitting in and watched as she went down the stairs and made her way out of the library. He wasn't sure how she was going to get home, since Bumblebee and Star had dropped her off, but he knew if he tried to help her she'd refuse. So, he was going to throw caution to the wind and let her go off on her own.

Besides, he realized he had to take care of something.