Disclaimer: Teen Titans is the Property of DC Comics

Chapter 19

After running into Taye in the playroom he learned that Crystal was in Ravens room, so he headed off in that direction. He guessed that Raven was probably in there, since she wasn't likely to be found anywhere else. He made it to her room, slid the door open, looked inside, and saw Crystal happily playing with her dolls on Ravens bed. There was no Raven.

"Hi daddy!" Crystal beamed.

"Hey," he smiled. "Having fun?"

"Yeah," she giggled.

"You certainly look like you've made yourself at home," he said, looking around and seeing all of his daughter's belongings strewn about the room. He was pretty sure Ravens room had never been this messy before. "So where's mommy-Raven?"

"She's… uh…" Crystal began, but then remembered she wasn't to tell her father where she was. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" he chuckled. "It looked like you knew for a second there."

"Nope," said Crystal, shaking her head.

"Huh, okay then," he said, not believing her. "I really wish I knew where she was though. I wanted to give you this present I got you. I had her hide it so you wouldn't find it, so she's the only one who knows where it is. Oh well."

"Ha! There's no present," said the smart little Logan.

"Yeah, there is," said Beast Boy. "At least, there was. Guess I'll just have to wait and give it to you tomorrow."

"Wait… is there really a present?" asked Crystal.

"Oh yeah," said Beast Boy with a smile. "A big one, too."

"H-How big?" asked Crystal, her eyes going wide.

"Oh, real big," he said. "And I bet Nicole would do anything to have what I got you. Hmm… maybe I'll give it to her instead when I find it. She'd never lie to me."

"I've never lied!" shouted Crystal, standing up on the bed in protest. "Never ever!"

"So you're telling me the truth then?" asked Beast Boy. "You don't know where your mommy is?"

"W-Well, I know where she is," said Crystal, twiddling her fingers. "I just… I can't tell you. I promised."

"Can you give me a hint?" asked Beast Boy.

"Uh, okay," said Crystal and she went into deep thought. She then smiled and said, "Okay, here's a hint. She's not not in your room."

"She's not not in my room?" he repeated.

"Yup," she beamed.

"Ah, okay," he said, smiling. "Thanks." And with that he went to leave.

"Daddy!" she screamed after him.

"What?" he said.

"When will I get my present?" asked Crystal.

"After dinner," he said. "Now go eat." Crystal leapt off of the bed, ran out of the room before him, and bolted down the hall. "Don't run for the hundredth time!" he yelled and then headed for his room. 'What in the world is Raven doing in my room?' he thought to himself as he walked.

He made it to his room and slid his door aside, peaking in. He was quite surprised to see Raven passed out on his bed, which was covered with a sheet. He really wanted to know what had happened to end up with her sleeping in his room, but he'd ask questions later. He quietly made his way into the room and closed the door behind him. He crept over to the bed and lay down next to her so they were face to face.

She was completely out, that was for sure. Her mouth was slightly open and her whole body was relaxed. He had to laugh at himself, for he never thought he'd seen someone so beautiful before. And she was beautiful; in every sense of the word. Beautiful on the inside and out; she was the whole package.

She began to inwardly cough, but it soon escalated and she was coughing horribly. This brought her right out of her sleep and she moaned. She held her head as a headache infected her and she decided it was time to do some babysitting so she could feel better. She jumped as she felt a hand rest on her back.

"You okay?" said Beast Boy.

She sharply turned and saw who it was. She then sighed and collapsed back into the bed. "I knew she wouldn't keep her little mouth shut," she said.

"It wasn't her fault, I tricked it out of her," he chuckled. "So, what're you doing in here?"

"It's a long story," said Raven. "Basically Crystal refused to leave my bed and in the end I was forced to find somewhere else to sleep."

"But why my bed?" he asked.

"Crystal's suggestion," said Raven. "And that's the only reason."

He laughed and gently laid his hand on her back. He softly began to rub lazy circles to which she sighed and snuggled into her pillow a bit more. She knew she was still mad at him, but she couldn't deny that her tired body liked the comforting attention he was giving her.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Not very good," she admitted. "My head's killing me and I feel a bit sick."

"Well that's not good," he said. "Do you want anything?"

"For you to leave me alone," she groaned. "But I doubt that'll ever happen."

He chuckled and said, "Sorry, nope. But, hey, I've got some good news. After our little conversation at the library I decided that you were right."

"Okay, I'm listening," said Raven.

"I did need to heal and I needed to get over everything that'd happened," he said. "So, when you left I decided to go visit her."

"Visit who?" asked Raven.

"Terra," said Beast Boy. "I went to her grave."

Upon hearing this, Raven actually raised herself up so that she was no longer smothering herself into the pillow. "You went to her grave?" she asked, surprised.

"Yeah, I did," he said with a small smile.

"What did you do?" she asked, curiously. She really couldn't believe that he'd gone to visit Terra's grave. He was so in denial over everything and inwardly beating himself over it that she was sure he'd never visit her grave because he'd refuse to believe that it even existed. This really was a big step and she had to admire his courage to finally face what had happened.

"Well, I sat down and basically said everything that was on my mind," said Beast Boy. "And then I did something I never thought of doing. Actually, it's something you kinda suggested this morning."

"What?" asked Raven.

"I forgave her," he said with a smile. "I forgave her for everything that happened and all that she did. And you know what? I feel… good. I feel so much better."

"Really?" asked Raven. "You think it helped you?"

"Yeah, I really think it did," said Beast Boy. "Everything you've been saying this whole time, it finally makes sense now. And I feel like I can finally, you know, move on with my life now. So… thank you."

"For what?" asked Raven.

"For pushing me," said Beast Boy. "And for giving me a reason to move on."

She looked at him oddly and said, "I've given you a reason to move on?"

He sighed and said, "Uh, well, that's kinda something I wanted to talk to you about. I wanted to tell you earlier, but you didn't really wanna talk to me."

"Tell me what?" she asked.

"Well I can't just come out and say it," he said with a soft laugh.

"I can't see why not," she said.

"Oh, you will when I say it," he said, fiddling with the sheet.

"Beast Boy, will you please tell me what it is?" Raven sighed, rubbing her temples. "My head is throbbing and I feel sick."

"Trust me, I totally want to, but, even at my age, saying something like this is hard," he said. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

"I need to be with one of the kids," she said. "I won't feel well again until I do."

"Well, I'll try to say this as quickly as I can, I guess," he said. "Rae, ever since you came back into my life I couldn't help but notice that you've filled a void in it that I wasn't even aware was there. You might not believe it, but you've actually had an impact in all of our lives. Especially Crystal's; and I can't thank you enough for that. You don't realize how much you mean to all of us. We all love you. But, I think you should know that I've discovered that I don't just love you. I've kinda fallen… in love with you."

The look that grabbed Ravens face was absolutely priceless. She looked confused, skeptical, and a bit shocked. She sat completely up and faced him, her legs crossed. "Beast Boy, why on Earth would you say something like that to me?" she said, her brow furrowing and a frown forming upon her lips. "Do you really think saying that you're in love with me would make me want to reconsider everything?"

"What? No, I really am!" he said quickly, sitting up as well. "I'm in love with you, Rae."

"Azar, and here I thought you'd actually taken a step in the right direction," she said, shaking her head as she began to crawl off of his bed. "But, again, you're using me as a replacement." She began coughing and held her chest for a moment until the pain subsided.

"I'm not using you as a replacement for anything!" he objected. "Why do you always think that what I feel is never genuinely for you?"

"Because it's not!" said Raven. "No one's ever felt genuine feelings for me and I can assure you that no one ever will. I can't believe you would try to pull something like that over on me. I thought you were better than that, Beast Boy. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go sit with Crystal before I pass out from pain." She turned to leave, but Beast Boy lunged across the bed and grabbed hold of her hand.

"Do you really think I'm that stupid?" he said, desperately. "That I would try to trick you by using words that have so much weight and meaning? Raven, I am better than that. I'd never do something like that and shame on you for thinking that I would. I know that no one's ever had feelings like this for you before but I really do. I'm in love with you."

Raven sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, letting a few more coughs escape her lips. "How can you possibly be in love with me?" she asked softly after clearing her throat. "What the hell is there to love?"

"Everything," he replied just as softly and moved closer to her. "There's everything to love about you. You're one of a kind and I know that if there were more people like you the world would be a damn nice place to live in. You're smart, selfless, kind, nurturing, talented, beautiful on the inside, and stunning on the outside. There's nothing about you I don't love; not even the fact that you still yell and snap at me like the old times. And I know that you don't love me and that's fine. I'm going to keep loving you nonetheless and I'll never expect anything in return."

Raven was visibly shaking at this point; her hands were gripping the mattress so tightly that her knuckles were white. "I don't know where you got all of those silly ideas about me," she said, her voice nearly brimming with tears. "But let me set the record straight for you. I'm not selfless or talented or beautiful or anything else that you said. I'm selfish, bitter, grumpy, and I hate the world and myself. So you go ahead and keep loving me for whatever ridiculous reasons you have, but let me assure you that living your life every day in denial is not going to end well for you." She then stood up, her knees nearly buckling from her weakened state, and took a step towards the door.

"Did you ever think that maybe I'm not the one in denial here," he said.

Raven stopped and thought about this for a moment. She then quickly continued on her way and was soon out of his room, his door closed behind her. She walked back towards her own room and let his words bounce around in her mind. This had been, without a doubt, one of the longest days of her life. And it was also the first day in a long while that she felt this sick, weak, and actually upset. Her whole system felt like a flurry of activity. She suddenly felt that familiar feeling in her throat and she prepared herself for a coughing fit. And once she started she knew it was hard to stop. Within seconds she was choking up a storm and had to leaning against the wall, lest she lose her balance and fall to the floor. Her dry, rough coughs echoed throughout the hallway like bells of soon to be doom.

When she finally finished she pushed herself off of the wall and attempted to stand up and continue on her way. But the moment she was off of the wall she felt herself become lightheaded and dizzy. The next thing she knew everything around her was fading away into darkness and the last thing she felt was her body slamming against the cool rug of the hallway.