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Chapter 6: Trust

The morning rays were beginning to break through the edges of the forest. Dirk was so tired he could barely keep himself upright. Whenever he looked back however and saw Kea struggling along he felt himself strengthen. He could not faint because she would then fail as well. His back was agony, though it felt like it was starting to scab over properly. The back of his shirt was stained darkly with his own blood and it was going to leave a scar. He knew she didn't want to channel, but he would have asked her to except for the knowledge that she had no ability with anything but fighting and her special talent. What a waste of the power to only use it to fight! Surely there was so much more she could have learned with it had she been free. It infuriated him that he was taking her back to slavery and a life time of captivity. Worse he was doing it at her own request. He had tried to slow down and even suggested they stop for sleep but she had panicked.

"What if I channel?" she had said. Strangely she had used the last word awkwardly as though unfamiliar in its use. "No we must return as soon as possible!"

But as Dirk looked through the scattered branches to the open road ahead and the village that stood nestled by that road he knew the Seanchan must have moved far back indeed. Though there was evidence the battle's edges had touched the place people were out and about their business as usual. Farmers were in their fields and there were few looks of fear or wails of mourning. They would have to rest.

"Kea, do you trust me?" he asked turning back towards his charge. She still dressed in her drab grey dress looked at him as if confused.

"Trust you?" she asked her mouth forming the words as if they were foreign.

"Yes. Will you do as I ask and believe me when I say what I will do?"

"Yes," she agreed immediately. "You have always done what you have said. You are trust."

Dirk managed not to smile and pressed on. "Good and I am going to trust you too. I do hope you won't let me down." As he spoke he saw her straighten her back and a look, like a child or a dog, so anxious to please, came into her eyes.

"I cannot get you to your people today. If we travel unprepared and tired we will be intercepted and you will never return home. No listen do not interrupt." At these words Kea snapped her mouth shut and looked appalled that she had almost interrupted him. "You must change clothes, just for now and only as a disguise. Those grey dresses will be remembered and we can't risk them. We also need food and a place to sleep. So stay here while I get what we need. Do not run I will get you to your people. I told you… No I promise you now that I will."

She paused but seemed not to dare words. He moved off into the village. He was not long returning soon enough with clothes for her.

Giving her some privacy he moved away and turned his back. She was obviously uncomfortable about shedding her uniform of slavery, but to Dirk it was a minor victory. Then he proceeded to explain his plan. They would stay in the local inn, but she must not talk or her accent would give her away. She must follow his lead. She accepted everything without dissent or discussion. She obeyed very well. That was part of the problem he reminded himself, even if it was highly useful right now.

They knocked on the Blue Boar's front door once as they opened it. Dirk did not have to pretend to be tired and travel worn. His new ragged grey cloak covered the blood stain on his back and it made him look scruffy and woe begone.

"Innkeeper do you have a place for a man to rest his head and maybe eat a morsel?" he asked wearily. "I have the money, don't doubt it."

The innkeeper had been more than happy to set them down at a table and give them some thick stew with chunks of cold bread. The bread had still been baked that morning and was soft and filling. They ate in silence and as soon as they were done even though it was not yet midday Dirk pleaded for rooms. It was at this point that it almost went wrong. One of the maids asked Kea directly if she was okay and silence would have drawn as much attention as a Seanchan accent, well maybe not THAT much, but still. Kea drew herself in and suddenly to Dirk surprise she mimicked his accent.

"I do be so tired miss. I do just be wanting some sleep!" After that no one asked any more questions. Dirk passed a couple of coins to the landlord and the moved into one of the back rooms.

Dirk stretched himself out on the floor and was almost asleep as he muttered "Well done in there, Kea. Sleep well."

"Dirk!" she hissed quietly crouched right by his ear. He lurched upright scared out of his wits at being snuck up on. His ears were apparently not what they used to be.

"What is it?" he asked. Looking up at her and trying not to sound angry or annoyed. She was likely feeling out of sorts and afraid in this foreign setting. After all if they were discovered he might be in trouble but she would surly be killed. She was only young after all. Or was she that young… from somewhere came the feeling that she probably wasn't so young after all. But he shrugged it off to concentrate on what she was doing.

Trembling enough for him to see she was pointing at his side. In surprise he looked to see if he had started bleeding again. His insides went cold she was pointing to the a'dam, the leash, poking out from the side of his new dull grey makeshift cloak. "What?" he challenged. He knew what but he was not going to make it easy for her. This was wrong, so wrong it felt like it went against his very reason for living.

She began to shiver even beginning to shake in front of him. She was not afraid of him. He had proved himself and if she used the power as she had before she could wrap him up helpless or kill him in an instant. She feared herself and maybe just a little she feared the leash. He hoped it was the latter.

"You must leash me. I can't touch the a'dam, damane are not allowed."

"I will not!" he kept his voice low, but allowed his disgust at the thought, burn through into the conviction of his voice, all the same. "You do not be a horse that needs to be hobbled Kea. You will not run and though you do doubt it, you will never hurt me again."

"But I can channel" she gasped. She seemed to be unable to bear her own daring at even speaking of her ability, as if it made her unclean. "I am marath'damane until I am complete. You know what that means?"

"You must be leashed, or something like that," responded Dirk darkly. "Who told you that?"

"Everyone knows it. They come around the Empire, the sul'dam do and test all the young girls. I was young, maybe sixteen, when they told me that I was marath'damane. Damane means leashed ones, to do what I do means you must be controlled. The only way to do it safely is to have a sul'dam, to be complete."

"Rubbish! I have heard of women who are called Aes Sedai. They live in a huge tower and do be respected by all. True some do fear them. But your controlled lives do cause much more fear. You do destroy life with the power and that is all. You don't hide, learn, build, research or heal," he could not quite keep a note of bitterness out of his voice at that last.

"But…"

"But nothing, I do trust you Kea. You understand that? That means I know that if I sleep here, you will not hurt me. You will not use your power and destroy this building or hurt anyone in it. I do trust you. I know that if someone do come to kill me tonight you would stop them. Trust Kea. You have my trust and you will not betray that. I know you won't!

Now sleep. You are my friend and I will not bind you. That my Lady is final!"

With that he collapsed onto his side, the key on the chain that he wore day and night, under his clothes, slipped out to lay on the floor at his side. Then he fell asleep.

It was dark when he awoke to find Kea staring at him a strange look in her eyes. He knew that look, though he did not know from where. That was a look of interest, a desire to know and ferret something out. Something had changed between them because of last night. But that was in his opinion, just fine.

"Good evening Kea!" he started brightly. "Let's eat and leave before anyone else is even up."

"Who are you Dirk?" she asked in response. That took him aback. He considered for a moment and then remembered all he had said about trusting her before he had gone to sleep. Well if he trusted her she deserved the truth. It could not do any harm anyway.

"I am Dirk Steadysteel of the village of Outlook Pleasant. At least that do be the name I've used and the place I've lived in for the last four years. Before that I do not really know. I have forgotten it all."

"Is the key you wear around your neck the key to your house?"

"No, at least I don't think so. I did be wearing it when I started remembering things again."

"So you haven't gone looking for everything you had before?"

"I don't know what I had," Dirk responded cheerfully. "I knew what I had in Outlook though and that suited me just fine. "If I ever find out, that might be nice, but what I don't need, I don't worry about."

"You didn't need me but you have looked after me," said Kea her voice fading almost to a murmur and her eyes suddenly downcast.

"I know something of who I am" replied Dirk a stern line of steel coming into his voice. "I am a man of honour and I don't need a memory longer than four years to help me know the difference from right and wrong. Now enough, let's eat and then we do be off."

They spoke no more until they were clear of the village and walking brisk and free down the road. When they did speak again it was Dirk who began it and they talked of unimportant things, like the scenery and different animals on Seanchan and here in the Westlands. Eventually they came to the subject of age.

"I suppose I am about thirty years old, maybe a little more" replied Dirk. "Giro reckoned I looked just short of thirty when I arrived in Outlook and he do be a good judge of that kind of thing." Giro had been a good judge of character too, thought Dirk but did not say it. Thoughts of his old friend who he might never see again were painful to him. "How old do you be then, Kea? You have your memory."

"Well it is harder than you might think. We don't celebrate our naming days because we are given a new name as a damane. I think I am maybe eighty or ninety something years old."

That shook him for a second and then he accepted it. He had been sure she would be much older than she looked. Though he admitted to himself, he had not expected her to be so much older, than her apparent twenty years.

"What is your real name?" he asked.

"I cannot remember" she said, but Dirk thought the response had come a little too quickly. Still he let it lie they were coming up to military guard post. They would soon be at the front and they were going to have to find a way to sneak through. They would though, he felt that old rush of confidence he always felt when he knew he was going to be good at something.