Thank you to my readers for taking the time to read. Thank you to all of you who are still with me. I hope you are enjoying Dirk's journey into becoming or re-becoming Kye.

Note: The character Dirk's real name is Kye. So either appellation refers to him.

Disclaimer: All profits to RJ

Chapter 11: It is worth it

The party was a strange one even to someone who knew nothing about them. The four men walked in a way that seemed to scream danger, and yet remained as silent as a wavering whisper in the wind. The women had the imposing looks of women of power and yet did not seem particularly old. Their clothes were comely and well made and yet not one, of the group, was decked out in riches. It was a strange ensemble that much was clear even to those who had no idea what they were really seeing. What were they seeing? Two Aes Sedai and their three Warders, escorting an ex-damane, would-be novice and her protector.

By day they attempted to appear as common place as possible. None of the Warders wore their cloaks and the Aes Sedai kept their hoods up to shadow their faces. Apparently according to the Aes Sedai many people could recognise them from the 'ageless' look of their faces. This was news to Dirk and he determined to remember it. Just like he was determined to remember everything he was finding out about himself. He asked questions when he could however he was afraid to ask the questions that burned within him. His real questions would lead to him having to provide answers he didn't have.

Questions like: What happens in Warder training? Who is Hammar? Do any of you remember an Aes Sedai with a Warder like me? Have any other Seanchan damane become novices? So he kept silent and listened instead of speaking. He tried to gain their trust just as he had gained Giro's trust all those years ago. He spoke little but made sure he never lied. He made sure any duty allowed to him was performed accurately and immediately. Still he carried himself high to ensure they never saw him as their lap dog but as a friend, a companion. So much he wanted to know, but despite his wanting their trust he was not sure he could trust them. So he said as little as possible and they did not ask. Kea however he talked to often in low voices away from the others. This suited the Aes Sedai who liked to talk with their Warders by themselves.

Kea was struggling to find the right balance. The Aes Sedai were anxious to get her to the tower and into 'novice white' as they called it. Despite this they seemed to both want to teach and instruct her before they got there. They quickly began to realise Kea wasn't just a girl. Dirk would watch these lessons from am distance wary in case they suddenly decided to hurt her. He knew they could tie him up in the power now. They had done it to him to show how pointless his presence was, but he had to try. Still they had been as good as their word.

Kea had learnt to hold the Power and release it on command very quickly. She had struggled with learning to 'weave' the power for anything other than destruction. The Aes Sedai had been careful at first, constantly cautioning the not yet novice, that messing around with the Power before you knew what it could do was perilous.

"You could be burnt out" cautioned Turanna Sedai. "You must only channel when we are around to make sure nothing goes wrong. How long have you been channelling?"

"Since I was very young I think, maybe sixty years. I am sorry; I am not very sure Turanna Sedai."

The Aes Sedai goggled at Kea. "How is it that you are alive? Self trained 'wilder'…"

"Pardon Sedai, but I had a trainer," Kea's accent became very heavy on the last word. It was not one she was used to using. "Damane are taught by sul'dam how to channel."

"Who?"

"The sul'dam wear the bracelet of the a'dam, we wear the collar. They tell us what to do and we do it!"

Turanna looked as if someone had cut off her breathing. Her face seemed about to go purple. "Child, that is not the way of a true teacher." She shook her head for a moment, visibly upset by what Kea had said. "I know this Dirk says he has helped you and you needed protecting, was it from these sul'dam?" Kea nodded. The Aes Sedai turned and met Dirk's eyes and gave a distinct show nod of the head.

"He was right to remove you from their care," she said the last word with a sharp bite of sarcasm. "And as I say it, you know it is true."

"How so?" asked Kea her face betraying a little confusion at the air of absolute certainty the Aes Sedai had used.

Shaking her head in wonderment Turanna explained. "Forgive me child, I forget that there is so much you do not know. Aes Sedai take Oaths when they are raised to full Aes Sedai. There are three of these and they are bound into us with the Power so they are oaths that we cannot betray. Not to make a weapon, not to speak a word that is untrue and not to use the power as a weapon except against Shadowspawn or in the last defence of our lives or that of our Warders."

Now it was Kea's eyes that went large. She had known these Aes Sedai were every different but she had not known how different. It seemed they were prisoners too just in a different way than she had been. Everything that had been forbidden her seemed to be bread and butter to the Aes Sedai and they were forbidden to do what she could, and did, do with ease.

"Now you feel a reasonable strength in the Power. A simple exercise is making a flame and having it float in front of you. Now this is how…" The Aes Sedai stopped, everyone in the camp stopped. Kea had immediately channelled upon being told to make a flame and had produced a prodigious fireball. With a thought she hurled it into a tree causing it to explode rather than burn. Warders and Aes Sedai both dove for cover. Seconds later the Warders were up and armed and the Aes Sedai were channelling. A shield snapped in-between Kea and the Power and water appeared from the air to smother the gathering flames.

Dirk stood in front of her, both his empty hands facing outwards towards the angry Warders. "She didn't mean it as an attack she was following instructions. When she is told to make fire she does so. Her previous teachers would have wanted her to make it as big and destructive as possible. Just don't get her to do lightning, she is much better at that!"

At a word from the Aes Sedai the Warders backed down. A man walked towards them all from the trees. Weapons were put away but the men did not look convinced. Even the Aes Sedai despite their placatory gestures looked a little shaken to realise that Kea not only could kill with the power. She was trained and extremely good at killing with it.

"Take it off," said Kea after a few moments. "He has explained; why are you still barring me from the source?"

The Aes Sedai did not answer and the Warders returned their hands to their now sheathed and holstered weapons. The tension mounted. Then Saffé shouted and ran forwards. Dirk moved to stand between him and Kea. There was no point trying to draw his weapon he could not do it fast enough and if they got into a fight with these people they were lost. He was ready to die; he definitely was going to soon anyway. But Saffé ran past him, dragging his axes out into a battle-ready poise. Dirk moved to stay between him and Kea, but he just kept on by him. He seemed to be running at nothing. The confusion was too much for Dirk. He knew there was always an answer you just sometimes couldn't see it even when it was right in front of you. He needed a different angle. Then it clicked, he is attacking that man who just walked out of the trees. Wait a moment… Dirk's brain suddenly caught up and his eyes snapped open and onto what Saffé was doing. He had hit out at a man. A man Dirk had seen but not really noticed. Even the Warder seemed to have difficulty concentrating on his quarry his axe blade had two clear misses. It didn't take fighting Saffé to know that that was just plain unlikely. The man whom Dirk still couldn't get a good look at slipped within the Warders guard as if he almost wasn't there. Then a knife that Dirk had not seen him carrying was suddenly within his chest. He gurgled blood in his mouth, but before he lost the will of life his legs gave a final surge and he shoved himself forward onto his attacker.

Kera screamed and lashed out with the Power. The whip of razor sharp air missed both the Warder and his assailant and loped a branch from an over hanging tree. Dirk ran at the attacker hoping to get to him before he managed to rise, but he was already up. So fluid and swift his eyes seemed dead, everything about him was just dead. Unstrapping his belt he pulled off his sheathed sword prepared to use it as a club. The man… no the creature, there was something wrong with this 'man' caught Dirk's eyes in his dead ones. It moved directly at him. Kea said something high pitched and loud, Dirk didn't hear it, and the creature was shoved back. It left the floor and then while it was still in the air a bolt of blue-white lightning struck it not once, but three times.

"What was that thing?" Dirk demanded turning towards the Aes Sedai. None of them answered him. Kera was crying as if she were a girl, not an Aes Sedai of the Green Ajah and Jerome was sat upon the floor staring at the corpse of his fellow Warder. His sword tip was in the ground and his mouth hung open but he appeared unable to speak. Turanna Sedai and her Warder Berek just stood silent. Berek eventually moved forward to inspect the body of the Warder they all knew was dead and then went further to try and find what was left of their attacker. No one had spoken since Dirk had asked his ringing question.

Turanna Sedai was not looking at the body or at the space where the strange attacker had last been seen. She was looking directly at Kea; her eyes were locked onto the girl with the intensity of a fanatic. Yet she said not a word.

Berek retuned and motioned for his Aes Sedai to follow him. She did and moments later called the others to see. Only Kea and Dirk went. The Aes Sedai and her Gaidin were still mourning.

What Berek was standing over was recognisable as a sort of man. Just remarkably unremarkable, his skin was a little pale and his eyes looked the same in death as they had in life… dead. Dirk was surprised he didn't feel something, pity, hate maybe. He just felt nothing, looking at the scarred and charred body.

"This is a Grey man. It is an agent of the Dark One, an assassin for him, if you will. It was not after Kera Sedai or I, that much is clear. And no," she shook her head even as Dirk opened his mouth, predicting his question, "It could not have happened upon us by accident. They are the best of assassins and are never seen until they strike and sometimes not even then. They are soulless you see, hard for us to notice, even with Power enhanced senses. Logically, if they were not after us they must have been after you Kea. It appears the enemy wants you dead, which makes me all the more determined to keep you alive." Kea looked at her pleased to hear what she had said but a little confused. "It makes sense dear girl. If the Dark One hates you, then those who hate him love you. That is logic." Turanna paused for a moment. "We best camp here for the night, we have avoided the peril and I do not know how able bodied our companions will be for some time. We will give them one night and then we will go, all of us. We must reach the White Tower, this is getting serious."

Much later that night Kea quietly approached the quiet form of Kera Sedai. "Pardon me Aes Sedai," she asked quietly, humbly. The lady looked up her eyes tear stained and her ageless face ragged with grief.

"What is it child?" she asked straining, but not succeeding, to mask the hoarse tone of her grief ridden throat.

"I wanted desperately to ask you something. But I was afraid because it is about something that will make you sad. I do not want to cause pain anymore. I have decided I am sick of it and if that is all I can do with the Power then I will give it up, even if it kills me. But I must know, or at least I must ask." She took a deep breath and finished her voice barely above a whisper, "May I?"

"Of course child," The Aes Sedai's voice was so low Kea had to lean forward to hear her. "This is not the first time and it is natural that you are curious."

"Then you already know?" Kea half stated and half asked her voice exposing her shock and surprise.

"Of course I know. It is a common thing with all novices who will not obviously choose the Red. Warders are intriguing but like their weapons they have two very sharp edges."

"Can you tell me about Warders? Why does it hurt you so much to lose one? And if it does why do you have them? Why not just have soldiers? If you even need protecting. You have the Power after all."

"Ah child there is so much you do not understand," replied Kera and her face finally managed to twist itself into a forced smile. "I am Green Ajah. I stand ready for the battle to come. We love men because we know they are born to battle. Warders, those we choose as Warders are the best of those men. They are the truest and most trustworthy men in the world. You could confide your deepest secrets to your Warder and never fear he would reveal them. No not to his own flesh. He is Gaidin, Brother to Battle, trained with all weapons and a master of them. By my oaths on the Oath Rod I cannot use the Power as a weapon until I know that I fight Shadowspawn or am in fear of my life. It is good it is so; otherwise Aes Sedai would be tempted to rule through might alone. But I am not always ready." Here her voice became bitter.

"As you have just seen, I did not see the killer. I did not know if my life or Saffé's was in danger, until her was dead. I was helpless. That is why we have Warders. They are our confidents, bodyguards, our servants, our messengers even our eyes and ears. Sometimes, just sometimes they can grow to become our best and most dear friends and even more. When an Aes Sedai bonds a Warder she makes a connection with him. She always knows where he is and he her. We can tell how the other is feeling and the gist of their moods even their thoughts. When a Green Aes Sedai and her Warders fight as one it is as if we are one entity with many parts. It is truly a sight to behold and one to make the Dark One tremble. We and our Warders will be at Tarmon Gai'don and there we will face him and defeat him!"

The Aes Sedai had forgotten her tears. Her voice carried fond memories of the past and impassioned visions of the future in it now. "Kea when you are made Aes Sedai, unless you choose the Red, which I cannot see you doing, you will have the chance to bond a Warder. That fact that you choose him is like the power of choosing your Ajah. The reason it means so much is that is wasn't forced on you, you chose it. The calling of Aes Sedai is the same; it will mean more to you if you choose it rather than have it forced on you. You must learn quickly Kea. You have been a trained wilder too long. You have too much strength and knowledge of the Power. The Tower will want you raised quickly to Accepted and even more quickly to Aes Sedai. They will want to get the Oath Rod in your hands the moment you walk in the door but they cannot. So you will be pushed. I like you Kea, you remind me of many of my Green sisters. I hope you can bear it. But trust me, it is all the same. Being an Aes Sedai, choosing a Warder, whatever, if it is worth doing, worth having, then it will hurt. But your question is not whether or not it will hurt to have a Warder, is it? No, your question is, is it worth it?" Raising herself onto her knees she took both of Kea's hands in hers and stared deeply into her eyes.

"Hear this Kea of Seanchan. Under the Light and by my hope of salvation and rebirth I swear to you; it is worth it!"