Sakura Lain says,

"Not mine. Not mine, not mine, not mine…"

…and she's done for now, disclaimer-wise.

Chapter 5: Not Quite

She must have sat there on the floor for five minutes. Her hand was trembling, still holding on to the paper. Her eyes were still glued on those two words: Chemotherapy Results.

"I'll go get the tea! How much do you want, Ryoma?"

"Doesn't matter."

"I made some nice cookies with Sakuno the other day, I'll go get 'em right now!"

"Echizen, what's up, man?"

Sakuno could hear everyone's voices coming from the living room. Their conversation seemed too casual to her, considering the weight of the words she had reread several times now.

"Sakuno! Sakuno, what's taking you so long?"

Hearing Tomoka's footsteps come closer, Sakuno stashed the slip of paper back into Ryoma's bag and forced her wobbly legs to stand up. "I-I'm here," she said, hurrying to put away the bag in the hall closet.

"Well, come on," said Tomoka cheerfully, appearing in the hallway. "Tea's already on the table."

"H-Hai," replied Sakuno, forcing a smile. She followed Tomo into the living room, having a seat at the tea table. She couldn't bring her eyes up to look at Ryoma and Momo sitting across from her.

Momo had an arm around Echizen, forcing him around every now and then as he chatted excitedly about what had been going on with their lives up until now. So cheerful, reunited with his best friend Ryoma after all this time… and Ryoma hadn't even told his best friend what was going on with his life. Sakuno's eyes brimmed with tears momentarily but she forced them back, not wanting to make a scene in front of everyone. After all, if Ryoma hadn't told anyone about the chemotherapy, then perhaps it was for a reason. Maybe he just wasn't ready to let everyone know yet.

Or maybe he wouldn't say anything at all.

"So when exactly is the wedding?" asked Ryoma, after Momo was done doing most of the talking.

"Next Friday," replied An, coming over to plant a kiss on Momo's cheek. Momo's face turned a light shade of pink. "Right, Sweetie?"

"She's really good…" mumbled Tomoka, her eyes a little wide.

"H-Hai," replied Sakuno.

"Are you okay?" Tomoka asked, looking at Sakuno. "You look like something's bothering you."

"I'm fine," replied Sakuno, this time forcing her voice to come out nice and steady. She sipped from her tea, to do anything else with her hands other than interlocking them nervously across her lap.

"What are you doing now, Ryoma?" asked An, having a seat on the other side of Sakuno.

"Tennis," replied Ryoma simply.

"Tennis pro, eh?" grinned Momo.

"No," Ryoma shook his head. "Just some matches here and there. I'm not doing anything serious."

"Oh, really?" Momo blinked. "I really thought you'd end up doing more with your tennis, like become some sort of tennis legend or something."

"Who didn't think that?" giggled An.

"Still, Ryoma-sama," said Tomo, "Even though there's no club for it now, I'm supporting you one hundred percent, even if it's nothing 'serious'!"

Ryoma didn't look at all thrilled with the idea.

"But seriously, why not go pro?" asked Momo.

Ryoma shrugged. "Don't want to," he merely said.

Maybe because of his cancer, thought Sakuno dismally, eyes lowering to look at the cup of tea in her hands.

"You okay?" Tomoka asked again, and this time everyone else turned to look at Sakuno, Ryoma included. Sakuno shook her head several times, her cheeks reddening.

"N-No, I'm fine!" she replied, but then she looked at Ryoma, her chocolate eyes meeting with his golden ones, and he furrowed his eyebrows, as if noting her uneasiness. Sakuno immediately looked away; the last thing she wanted was for him to find out she had accidentally snooped around his privacy, and letting him get suspicious wasn't going to help.

An cleared her throat. "I'll… go get some more tea."

"Ooo, I want more tea!" cried Momo, raising his empty cup in the air; he hadn't noticed the change in the room's atmosphere at all.

"Whatever you say, my soon-to-be husband," said An dully as she grabbed his cup and left for the kitchen.

"Well…" said Momo, sitting back to stretch out his arms. "I have to get going soon, it's getting late. I promised Eiji I'd get him that favorite toothpaste of his today."

"Why couldn't he get it on his own?" asked Tomo.

"He said he had some important things to do," shrugged Momo.

"Sure…" said Ryoma quietly, narrowing his eyes and taking a sip of his tea.

An returned from the kitchen and served everyone more tea in their cups. They talked some more (Sakuno didn't do much listening, however) until Momo got up and announced he was leaving.

"Do you have to go too, An-chan?" asked Tomoka to An, seeing she was getting up as well.

"I'll help you clean up first," An replied, and smiled slyly toward Momo. "And my dear fiancé would also be more than happy to stay and help as well." Momo paused on his way out of the room, shoulders slumping.

"I'm going," said Ryoma.

At that, Sakuno was pulled back from her preoccupied thoughts. "I'll go get your bag…" she said, getting up to go to the hall. She couldn't believe how incredibly calm Ryoma seemed in front of them. How could he act like nothing was wrong given how serious this was? Sakuno pondered a great many things as she went to get the bag carrying the dreadful piece of news. She paused when she held it again. How could he not say anything? True, they hadn't seen each other for years, but they were still his friends. Her eyes brimmed with tears again.

Ryoma-kun must be going through so much right now, she thought.

"Did you find it yet?"

She gave a start, turning around to find Ryoma leaning against the wall, his hands cushioning the back of his head. He looked as indifferent as ever. "Y-Yes," she said, passing the bag to him. She looked at him, searching for any sign of sadness or weariness or anything in his face, but he was emotionless as usual.

"What?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing," said Sakuno, looking away quickly, feeling guilty for staring so much. "Sorry."

He looked at her skeptically. "You know, you're really odd," he said before he opened the front door and left.

When the door closed and Sakuno was sure everyone else was still in the kitchen or living room, she leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor, wrapping her arms around her knees. "Ryoma-kun…"

She really couldn't stand it. She couldn't stand knowing his secret, and not having someone else to talk about it to get it off her chest. It was big. She hadn't expected to find something this big out of a simple, accidental peek at that one slip of paper. And she was still having a hard time believing it, partly because of Ryoma's casual attitude. She expected something like this would affect him greatly, but he sure didn't seem to mind. Or maybe he had already known about this for a long time and had grown to accept it by now. Still, for Ryoma to have cancer…

The tears finally fell. Maybe he didn't have much time. Maybe he came back to Japan because he knew it would be his last visit. Maybe…

So many thoughts occurred to Sakuno then, intensifying the flow of her tears. If he really did have cancer… if he really didn't have much time…

Sakuno stood up, feeling a little more determined now to go after him and confront him about it. She wiped the moisture from her face and put on her shoes quickly. Without leaving notice of her departure, she rushed out of the house and looked around quickly for any sign of Ryoma. She spotted him further down the street, ready to make a turn. She ran after him, forcing her weak legs to catch up to him.

When he heard her footsteps approaching him, he turned around and was surprised to see her there, standing behind him. She was panting, hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath. "What are you doing?" he said.

Sakuno straightened up, her breathing slowing down. "Um…" She looked down, beginning to lose some of her confidence from before.

"What?" Ryoma asked impatiently.

Her body reacted faster than her mind did. Before she knew it, she closed the distance between her and Ryoma and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his chest. Then she started crying.

"What's with you?" said Ryoma, looking alarmed as he pulled her away.

"I-I'm sorry, Ryoma-kun!" Sakuno choked out, a hand wiping at her face. "I'm so sorry about your c-cancer and…"

Ryoma stared at her blankly. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I-I saw…" Although she couldn't bring herself to finish her sentence, her eyes fell on the bag he was holding on to. Ryoma followed her gaze, and suddenly comprehension dawned on his face.

"You looked through my stuff, didn't you?" Sakuno flinched at the accusation.

"I didn't mean to…" she said.

"Oh really?" said Ryoma, anger unmistakably in his voice now. "Then I guess you didn't mean to dig your fingers into my bag, or maybe you just happened to trip over your own feet and the papers slipped out."

Sakuno's cheeks turned red, and Ryoma paused.

"You have to be kidding me," he said. Sakuno's head hung in shame.

"Demo, Ryoma-kun," she spoke up. "Why didn't you at least let us know? This is important!"

"No, it's not," he said coldly. "And it's also none of your business."

"What are you talking about, of course it is!" Sakuno cried. "You have cancer. You don't think this is important to your friends?"

Again, the blank look. "Ryuzaki, what are you talking about?"

Sakuno was losing her patience. "You know what I'm talking about! The chemotherapy results…"

Ryoma sighed. "Ryuzaki, if you're going to snoop around, at least take the time to snoop around properly." Sakuno stared at him, confused. "If you had read further, you would have realized that the results weren't for me."

"Not… for you?" Sakuno repeated, thinking over his words. "Wait a minute… you don't have cancer?"

"Were you even listening?" said Ryoma, annoyed.

He didn't have cancer. He didn't have cancer. A smile spread on Sakuno's face so fast, she could barely contain it. "But then… why the chemotherapy?"

Ryoma didn't reply. He wasn't even looking at her now.

"Ryoma-kun?"

"Che," said Ryoma, flinging the bag over his shoulder. "It's my oyaji's."

Although he obviously pretended not to care, Sakuno easily saw through his façade. Ryoma's eyes lost some of their emotion and somehow he looked weary now.

"Ryoma-kun…" she said.

But he had completely ignored her. "Later, Ryuzaki," he dismissed her, and started to walk away from her.

Sakuno began to head home then, but somehow she didn't feel as happy as she did when she found out Ryoma was okay after all. Because he really wasn't. She could see it. And then she thought about her grandmother. She knew what Ryoma was going through, living each day, wondering if his father would make it until the next. Because that's what she did when her grandmother was dying.

Except… Sakuno couldn't really accept it. She couldn't believe that her grandmother would really leave, and so she acted like a stupid child in denial, refusing to listen to her grandmother whenever she spoke of her illness.

"I'll go out for some shopping now, Obaa-chan!"

"Don't worry, Obaa-chan, everything's going to be fine so don't talk like that!"

"Obaa-chan, why do you always look so sad like that now? Come on, cheer up! I got my first real job today."

She had been really stupid, ignoring her grandmother and her illness like that. It was when Sumire needed her grandmother the most and Sakuno had turned her back on her. I wasn't there for her… in a way, I helped cause her death.

Obaa-san must really hate me right now.

"Oh, Sakuno, you're here," said Tomoka, greeting her in the hall. "I didn't notice you leave."

"I went out for a walk," replied Sakuno, locking the door behind her.

"Hey, I got a call earlier," said Tomo, frowning slightly. "From a Jay something. He was asking for you."

"Jay…?" The name sounded vaguely familiar to Sakuno, but she couldn't put her finger on it. "I don't think I know a Jay…"

"Really? Because I think he thought I was you pretending to be someone else as an excuse to hang up. It was a huge mess, really, he wouldn't leave me alone…"

"Jay… Jay…" Suddenly, Sakuno remembered, her insides starting to squirm. "Jay Kuminitsu?"

"You know him?"

"Yeah… he's the guy I met at the bar… and almost slept with…"

"You gave him our number?!"

"No, I didn't!" protested Sakuno.

"But then how did he know our number?" said Tomo, crossing her arms. "You didn't… give him any other personal information, did you? This guy seemed crazy."

"No, I didn't, I promise," replied Sakuno. But it wasn't enough to calm down her friend. Or herself.

How the hell did Jay Kuminitsu know their home number? And why was he even calling for her?

A/N: I'll stop there for now, grew sleepy and didn't want to continue and further deprive myself of sleep. I think my English lacked a little bit in this chapter…

Well, off to bed now for me.