-This chapter is humor mostly...enjoy, I had fun writing it. And it's pretty long, R&R-

Chapter 6

Retarded Baboons, Insulent Pigs and Moronic Twits

'There's only one bed.' Hermione said as they entered the room. 'And it's green, silver, and black, I can't live with these colors, and the bed is only a double, he could at least give us a king, not to mention I don't see any books, and--'

'Well it is what you asked for, the room right next to the library, and this is the only room anywhere near the library and it happens to be mine as well so shut it.' Draco retorted annoyed that she was being too annoying.

'I don't even see the library.' Hermione complained.

'Oh shut up already. It's right through that door at the back of the room.' Draco snapped at her. 'The bathroom is clearly through the door next to it, and you'll find all the books you want in the library. Now stop complaining, you're giving me a headache.'

'What about the bed problem, hmm?' Hermione asked and raised an eyebrow.

'Well do you really think that, for the purposes that the Dark Lord intends on using you for, he requires a big bed?' Draco said with a facial expression the clearly said "isn't that the most obvious thing in the world".

Hermione shuddered. 'Yeah, no offence but I'm still feeling a little disturbed that my mortal enemy and all his little followers want to rape me. And that was probably the understatement of the year.'

Draco looked away embarrassed.

'Can it be, the Draco Malfoy blushing? Why?' Said Hermione.

'Um...I'm not blushing, but you do realize you are talking about all my friends, probably any male in my family, and the man I serve. It wasn't exactly a comment people would be proud of. Not to mention it was a bit of an insult to me also.'

'Oh.' Said Hermione, now she was embarrassed. 'I didn't mean you or anything…I mean…umm…well I know you don't want to…I mean…you don't, right?'

'NO!' Draco yelled.

'Wow I expected you to say no, and I'm very, very glad. But you don't have to yell, It's not like I'm revoltingly ugly…wait, I'm not horribly ugly…am I?'

'No, I just don't want to shag you.'

By now both Draco and Hermione were blushing. Hermione was embarrassed that she was talking about rape with one of her enemies, and that she had admitted to being scared of being ugly.

Draco was embarrassed because he felt he was going soft. He wanted to help Hermione, the girl he was supposed to hate. Not to mention, that today she had taken off her huge cloak and he realized she was really quite attractive and he really would sleep with her if he had the chance. He shook his head to get that thought out of his mind. He tried to block those thoughts out of his mind so if Hermione probed it, she wouldn't see his smutty fantasy.

'Ferret, why are you shaking your head so vigorously?' asked Hermione with intrest.

'What? Oh, I was...just...trying to get a thought out of my mind. That's all. Good night, Hermione,' he stuttered before sitting on the bed, his back turned to her.

'Why are you sitting on my bed, Ferret?'

'I prefer Draco or Malfoy to Ferret, thank you very much. And, this happens to be my room as well, seeing as I have already said it.'

'WHAT?!'

'Listen you retarded baboon, the fact that we are sharing a room, and there is only one bed, would imply that we are sharing the bed. Unless you prefer the bathtub!' snapped Malfoy.

'Well, I prefer Hermione, Mya or Granger to RETARDED BABOON, YOU INSULENT PIG!' she screamed with equal venom before stomping into the bathroom.

'So I take it you prefer the bathtub?' replied Draco with amusement.

'NO YOU MORONIC TWIT, I WANT TO GET AWAY FROM YOUR SARCASTIC REMARKS!'

'You could have just said so.' grumbled Draco. 'Mud-blood,' he murmered quietly.

'I heard that!' responded Hermione.

Draco quickly changed out of his robes into his night clothes: black sweat pants, and...erm..thats it. He had taken it from his trunk, which he had magically conjured. Hermione opened the bathroom door and stomped into the bedroom to glare at Draco. But instead, she looked up, and her jaw dropped. She never expect to see such a fine toned body under all those robes. Draco smiled, walked over to her, place a finger under her chin, and snapped her jaw shut.

'I knew I was good looking, but I didn't know I was that bloody gorgeous,' said Draco with a smirk. Hermione blushed and turned her back to him.

'I'm going to get changed now, if you don't mind.' said Hermione, taking her wand and conduring up a trunk of "stuff"

'In here?!' Draco asked rather amused

'No you slimey git. I'm going to take my clothes and change in the bathroom.' after a look from Draco she added, 'And, you may not come with me!'

Draco merely chuckled, maybe this will be fun after all. he thought.

As Hermione closed the door behind her she couldn't seem to shake the feeling that someone was watching her. This place gives me the creeps, she thought. She didn't want to act scared. She didn't want to be scared. And she really didn't want Draco to see that she was scared. Why is he trying to protect me from Voldemort. I'd rather be dead with Harry and Ron. Nothing was going her way, and she could tell that her situation was probably only going to get worse.

Hermione came out in hot pink pyjamas. And by the look of it she had about ten layers under that.

'Well, my retarded baboon, I never thought you'd be a hot pink pyjama person.' Draco said snidely.

'Oh I'm not, you dick-wad, I only where these to bug you.' She relpied in the same tone.

'What ever.' Said Draco getting into bed. 'So, idiotic swine, have you chosen between the bed and the bath-tub yet?' Draco said while raising an eye-brow.

Hermione huffed and got into her side of the bed. She moved as far away from Draco as she could. She then proceded to fall ed off the bed.

'Nice.' Draco exlaimed and laughed at her. He reached over the bed to give her a hand up. She took his hand and pulled him on to the floor.

'I am nice aren't I, you thick prat.' Hermione said with a smile and got up and got back in to bed. Draco stuck is tongue out at her.

'That's the best you got?' Hermione said with a laugh.

'Hey, I'm tired sand a ran out of odd and cruel things to say.' Draco replied and got in to bed.

Both laughed. And then at the same time both were thinking He/She isn't that bad, maybe this will be fun.

Neither of the expected what would happen later that night.

(A/N) Cliffy, dont u love me!? And it's pretty long and took a long time to write. I got reviews 2 or 3 from ppl who werent my friends, now make me happy and press the button and the bottom of the screen and REVIEW. :) --- Ur friend the dyslexic bookworm --- sarah