Disclaimer: I still don't own Theo or any other characters mentioned in this piece.
The song is 'It's Not Me' by 3 Doors Down

…And In A Life Like This

Chapter Three:
…It's Broken

Never mind the face that you put on
In front of me
Never mind the pain you put me through
Coz every little thing you say
And every little thing you do
Makes me doubt all of this
What are you waiting for?

The summer holidays were a time for almost every child in the world (even Muggles) to count down to. Their faces would brighten at the mere mention of the words, whether they were stringed together or not. Months before the holidays were to begin they would be discussing what they were to do, what they had planned for their holidays and where they would go.

Slytherin house held the wealthiest and cruellest of Hogwarts so over the month before the holidays Theodore had managed to hear at least three stories of long holidays in France or Spain, extended holidays in America and expensive chateau's in the Riviera. Cruises through the Mediterranean and even a round-the-world trip from a girl now in her 6th year. In fact, this wasn't confined to Slytherin house. In class Theodore had listened to the pompous Hufflepuff Justin Finch-Fletchy explaining to the fat-faced Susan Bones just how interesting Maya civilization was, and Anthony Goldstein from Ravenclaw explaining to Padma Patil how his family were planning to catch a Muggle plane to the holiday island of Thailand, much to the pureblood's enjoyment as he explained how Muggles managed to get big steel things up in the air without magic.

But as he glanced around the Great Hall on the last day of the holidays Theodore could see he definitely wasn't alone in hating the summer holidays. He could see at least 4 other people in his year that didn't like the idea of going home. And he knew why. Harry Potter, dead parents. Lisa Turpin, orphanage. Neville Longbottom, hospitalized parents (his father had told him that story a few times, admiration for Bellatrix Lestrange in his voice). And Morag MacDougal from Ravenclaw whose parents weren't great and left him alone at all times of the year. Theodore actually envied him, but it was common knowledge that Morag wasn't a fan. Theodore would give anything to have his father leave him alone, but that wasn't an option. Now in his 4th year so would begin the rant by his father about joining the ranks of young Death Eaters. This didn't appeal to Theodore at all.

Forget about this trip that you've been on
Or so it seems
Never mind the lies that you told my tears
Coz every little thing you said
And every little thing you did
Made me doubt all of this
Is that what you're waiting for?

His travel back on the Hogwarts Express was as uneventful as usual. Draco Malfoy, whom he had befriended in his first year under strict orders from his cousin, spent the entire trip making snide remarks about Harry Potter who had just won the Triwizard Tournament and emerged spouting that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had returned with a following of Death Eaters (Draco's father Lucius and Alexander Nott amongst them) from the final challenge.

Theodore had never once doubted that his spineless father would one day return to the side of the Dark Lord (a name which Theodore was expected to utter rather than the others that circled in the wizarding world) when he returned. Like many around him, especially those within the Slytherin house, Theo knew he would return one day. It wasn't through hope like how many spoke of his return, but with disgust. And, at least when the Dark Lord returned, Theodore imagined Alexander would be finally happy and leave behind his constant desire to terrorize Theodore into a good son. Of course, that also meant Theodore bowing to his father's wishes. It was something he didn't really want to do.

Look what you did
Is this who you wanted me to be?
Well it's not me

The looming figure of his father stood watching from the platform as Theodore slowly dragged himself off the Hogwarts Express. The other students around him were waving goodbye to their friends, sharing hugs with doting parents and shouting above the noise of the train. Theodore looked everywhere but at his father, trying to see those from the Great Hall that he had attempted to find a connection with. Harry Potter stood hugging the very large figure of Mrs Weasley, the Weasley clan now common knowledge as being Harry Potter's new family. Lisa Turpin stood with Padma Patil, her twin sister Parvati and their friend from Gryffindor Lavender Brown, the airiest girl Theodore had ever met. By the look of it they were talking boys and she didn't seem too upset now about going home. He finally found Morag too, who was dragging what appeared to be both he and Terry Boot's suitcases out of the platform, confirming the idea that Morag and Terry, the Ravenclaw terrible two, would be staying together most of the holidays and conducting some kind of trouble-making device.

So, Theodore was alone. Terribly alone in the land before him where no one came to make sure he was alright, no one checked whether he had lived or died and nobody ever questioned what Alexander Nott counted as fact. No one ever would. So Theodore finally looked at his father with the hate that he had built since a young age for the man that was supposed to protect him and make all the bad things go away. He had only ever invited them inside.

But then, from behind Alexander stepped Knobb, the only creature he had ever known to smile at the sight of him, and Theodore almost felt a smile coming on too. Knobb was still here and with his house-elf magic and Theodore's determination to rid himself and the world of his father, Theodore believed genuinely that this holiday wouldn't be as bad as the last. And he walked towards his father, malice in his intent and anger in his eyes, never losing sight of his ultimate goal: to win the war on his pre-determined future.

Look what you did
Is this how you wanted it to be?
And this life you gave away
It was meant for me