Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this chapter (or fic). This song is called 1981 and it's by one of my favourite Australian bands, Gyroscope. Check it out. They're like an angry FOB, with less pansyness! Lol!

…And In A Life Like This

Chapter Five:
…It's Plagued

Here's what I think about you and how your friends
How your friends adore your sudden glory
Here's what I know about you and all your trends
And all the times we made believe a story

Theodore lay back on his bed staring at the ceiling lost in the myriad of thoughts he had managed to produce in his head. His memories seemed to be playing themselves over and over again in his head, determined to plague him until he admitted he really did have no idea what he'd done with his life. Eventually Theodore relented.

"FINE! YOU WIN!" He yelled at no one, turning over and burying his head under his pillow.

The new school year was meant to start the next day but Theodore had nothing prepared for going back. He had decided, after the previous week's revelations and eventual dismissal of Knobb, Theodore wouldn't be going back to do his NEWT's this year as he had originally planned but instead he'd be joining his father and the crew of Death Eaters that waited for him. Alexander had been pleased when he'd first told him that he'd been beaten. So pleased, it seemed, that he'd left Theodore alone all afternoon without any mention of when he was coming home. So, free from Alexander's talks about his wonderful future, Theodore had spent all day alone in his room, free to be destroyed by his own memories.

And then something downstairs broke.

Theodore sat up straight in bed. His father wouldn't break something in a fully-lit house, even in the darkness he wouldn't without growling and fixing it straightaway. But Theodore heard no spell and suddenly assumed the worst. There was a Death Eater in his home come for him.

Grabbing his wand from his bedside table and opened the bedroom door slowly. The hallway was empty and for a moment Theodore thought he'd imagined it. Then a shadow fell into his sight and Theodore raised his wand, thinking of the first spell that came to his head. To his disgrace, but the intruder's relief, it was the Jelly-Legs spell Theodore had learnt in his first year. And as the intruder fell to the floor in fits of both laughter and pain, Theodore was thankful he'd thought of it.

"Jon?" Theodore asked, poking the intruder with his foot till he rolled over. It was, indeed, Theodore's cousin.

"Wish to undo this baby spell Theo? If you know it, I believe I learnt it in my second year." Jon joked, making faces at Theodore.

Theodore undid the spell and Jon stood, dusting off his legs uncertainly. "Wow, it's been a while since I got one of those. I believe they've moved on to the Bat-Bogey Hex now."

Theo frowned. "Who has?"

Jon grinned. "The entire population of Hogwarts 1st graders."

Theo sighed. "School starts again tomorrow, not that it matters much to me."

Jon frowned. "Yes, it does, because you're going back. You aren't going to be scared out of getting a proper education just because You-Know-Who feels like having a party with his idiot followers."

Theo glanced at his cousin. He hadn't called Voldemort the Dark Lord like he was expected, and Theo respected that. "Where have you been Jon?" He finally asked.

Jon smiled. "Another story for a nicer day. Now, grab your trunk and get your ass down here pronto. Little birdy tells me Alexander will be back here in half an hour and I want us out of here by then."

Theodore frowned. "He's going to kill me if I go back, you must know that."

Jon pointed at himself. "Me? No, no idea." He smiled. "You know you wish you were me."

Theo nodded. "Yeah, maybe just a bit. I'll be right back."

It took Theodore ten minutes to pack his clothes and other essential belongings and magic them downstairs. Having been an adult in the magical world for almost 2 months, Theodore now did everything by magic, and was surprised when he came downstairs to find Jon attempting to piece the vase he'd broken back together without it. Theodore fixed the vase with a quick flick of his wand and then stared at Jon.

"You've lost it?" He asked.

Jon laughed. "You never lose it Theo, you just lose a wand and can't buy another without getting spotted wand shopping in Diagon Alley by your idiot father's cronies." He grinned. "Cry me a river. C'mon, let's go."

He pulled a small piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to Theodore. "You go here and I'll join you later."

Theodore frowned at the name. "What the heck is the WFABB?"

"Your saviours. Now, let's go."

Here's what I think about making face
Without a grain of doubt it's all I think about, it's all in my mind
It's best I make a sound before I hit the ground

After spending a day with the WFABB, a group that turned out to be a bunch of ex-Slytherins who had turned against their own kind and wanted to fight Voldemort, Theodore found himself again at Platform 9 ¾ waiting for the Hogwarts Express with the throng of new students. There were, of course, many of his own missing. Draco Malfoy was gone, his goons Crabbe and Goyle wandering the platform no longer as menacing as many thought they were. And of course Harry Potter and his two friends weren't there. There were many others missing too, including Hufflepuff Hannah Abbott who had left the year before, and those faces which he couldn't put a name too like the dark Gryffindor boy and the red-headed Ravenclaw girl. All were gone and Theodore knew why. Voldemort.

"Ready to go back?" Jon asked, startling Theodore. He had forgotten his cousin was there with him. He gave him a wry smile and glanced back at the train. "Miss it you know, even History of Magic." Jon chuckled. "Never thought I'd miss old Binnsy's lectures."

Theodore glanced at Jonathon. "I'm not a little kid you know, you can go now."

Jon shook his head. "Not until you're safely on that train little cousin." He shrugged. "It's part of the requirements. It's not that I don't trust you want to get away from your father, it's just that, well, you're a bit of a girl sometimes."

The Hogwarts Express pulled up before Theodore could speak and so he just stared at his cousin over the cheers of the younger students. "Fine. I'm getting on now." He and Jon pushed their way past some smaller students and Jon stood, hands in his pockets, watching Theodore as he got on the train and, to Theodore's surprise, he was soon happy he had been forced into it. For some reason the train, like everything about Hogwarts, was re-assuring. So Theodore grabbed his trunk and started for the back of the train, to the nicest and emptiest compartment he could find. His plans though were waylaid when he spotted Daphne and some other Slytherin girls in a compartment half-way down the train. He caught her eye and was saddened to see her turn away angrily. Still, Theodore thought happily, she was okay and that was what mattered now.

He eventually found a good compartment and sat down by the window, staring out into the crowd. He spotted Jon, gave him a wave, and then continued scanning the crowd. His smile fell and his gaze stopped when his eyes fell on a figure standing at the big. It was Alexander, and he was watching Theodore as always.

And Theo knew then that no matter where he was, Alexander would always be around to plague him.

Run away from it all
It's what I think about, it's what I know about, it's what I care about

The school season went quickly for Theodore, and soon it was Christmas. This Christmas did actually seem slightly better than the last, Theodore having not heard from his father the entire school term and with him set to go stay with many members of the WFABB and his cousin throughout Christmas he almost enjoyed the thought.

Before he could head off though, he knew there was one last person he had to see.

Well, the one person who was still on speaking terms with him.

Through channels and talk on the town, Theodore had found an old friend was still in the castle and the day before he was meant to go home for Christmas, Theodore headed down to the kitchens to meet an old friend.

Knobb was working when the door opened and Theodore stepped into the little area. Ignoring offers of food and drink, Theo called out to his old. At first Knobb didn't turn but then, pushed by a fellow elf, he eventually looked at Theodore.

"You're still alive Master Nott?" The little creature asked.

Theodore smiled. "As are you Knobb. You came back to Hogwarts, even now Dumbledore has gone?"

Knobb nodded. "Professor Snape very good to me, said Knobb had to stay."

Theodore smiled. "I'm glad Knobb. Very glad. And I had wondered why the food was suddenly so good."

Knobb finally smiled back. "Thank you Master Nott, that means a lot to Knobb."

They were quiet for a minute, Theodore finally accepting a Pumpkin Pastie from a nearby elf. "I miss you Knobb." He finally admitted.

Knobb broke into a wide grin, tears in his eyes. "Knobb misses you too Master Nott."

Pain won't go away even when the drugs say, I won't regret
Time heals so I'm told, I could never be sold, I don't forget

Jonathon met Theodore at Platform 9 ¾, as Theo had expected, but his expression was grim and the smile on Theo's face at the sight of his cousin was soon lost. He hurried off the train to find out what had happened.

"Jon? What is it?" He muttered, breathlessly, as he reached his cousin.

Jon said nothing, just nodded towards the train as the other students started to get off. "I'll tell you when we get home." He finally said, grabbing one of Theodore's bags.

Eventually, a long way considering they were Apparating, Theodore and Jon were finally back at the WFABB headquarters where things were unusually silent. The old mansion outside Kent that they used to hide in was usually a bustle of activity, PotterWatch blaring over the radio with young children gathered around it. Today there was no one in the main rooms and even the dining room was sparse. After dumping his bags, Theo turned to Jon expectedly, waiting for what he believed was to come. And his suspicions were proven correct.

"Your father is dead. His body has been found, dumped, in Oxford."

Theo sat down on one of his bags. "How do you know? Who told you?"

Jon pointed to the radio on the wall. "PotterWatch. There's a Death Eater count going on, they're attributing it to Potter but I think we all know better."

Theodore nodded. "You-Know-Who did it." He nodded slowly. "I'm not surprised. He was already on unstable ground."

Jon frowned. "What did he do to make You-Know-Who do this to one of his own?"

Theo shrugged. "If I knew that I'd be smarter than Potter. My only guess is that he found out that I went back to Hogwarts still loyal to it and not him. That and Alexander's already tarnished reputation. He fought Potter is the Department of Mysteries two years ago and disobeyed You-Know-Who's orders to leave your father and keep fighting. He wasn't there when Dumbledore came, he had left the place with Renius. You-Know-Who thought that was the ultimate betrayal."

Jon looked surprised. "Alexander told you this?"

Theodore smiled sadly. "Of course he didn't, he never told me anything. I overheard him talking about it to Renius, how he'd betrayed the Dark Lord for him and that it was essential Renius forced you into Death Eatership, much like he was forcing me."

Jon nodded. "I should've guessed that. My father is a weed. Was a weed."

Theo glanced up at him. "Renius too?"

Jon grinned. "Looks like we're both free cousin."

And Theodore smiled back. Yes, he finally was.

And if I should start to wonder, pull me out from the rock I'm under
Here's what I think about vacant space
Without a grain of doubt it's all I think about, it's all in my mind
I better hit the town before the rain comes down

Theodore stared at the ceiling, finally serene and feeling like every wish he'd ever had was coming at once. Of course, to some extent it was. The death of his father now meant more than Nott Estate becoming his own. It meant freedom from everything that had tied him down before. He was free to his father's controlling gaze, free to see whoever he wanted without fear of getting them in trouble, and free to take back Knobb, his one true friend in all this mess. He was finally able to be who he wanted in the future, study what he wanted and believe who he wanted. It was like being born again.

It also meant he could grieve. For his mother. Ever since his mother's death Theodore had been unable to visit her gave or even shed a tear for her when Alexander was around. Now he could go see her every day. The one human that had truly loved him without expectations. He'd never had that before.

But the peace of the morning would soon be broken by a screech from downstairs. It sounded like someone had fainted then as a thud echoed through the loose floorboards of the old estate. Tossing back his covers and pulling on his cloak, Theodore rushed downstairs.

Jon stood at the bottom of the stairs, and he was calming down a small collection of 6-10 year-olds who were gathering around him. Half of them appeared to be crying. Near where the group kept the radio, a small collection of people were gathering around a woman who really had fainted. It was Mrs Clandestone, a kindly woman considering her knowledge of the Dark Arts was second only to You-Know-Who or Severus Snape.

Jon spotted Theodore then and turned to him. "There's been another attack by You-Know-Who." He paused. "It was on a Slytherin house."

Theodore froze. "Who is it?"

Jon shook his head. "Get dressed quickly. Your coming with me. And get your wand. They might still be there." He stopped then, finally taking his eyes off Theodore, and passed the children. They, in turn, looked up at Theo who, now cold under all these glances, turned and strode back upstairs.

Run away from it all
Far away from it all
Pain won't go away even if the drugs stay, I don't regret
Time heals so I'm told, I could never be sold, I won't forget.
I won't forget.
I don't forget.

Jonathon and Theodore appeared outside the house he knew well. The curtains were drawn and the front door was bolted shut.

"The Greengrass house?" He glanced at Jon. "All of them?"

Jonathon nodded. "And they weren't the only ones."

But Theodore didn't care about any of the others. Alexander, his last dying wish was fulfilled, and he'd made Theodore's life truly unlivable. Daphne was dead.

He dropped to his knees in unspeakable pain.