Jack's POV

Just a tip for you all right now; NEVER use a psychic pokémon as a pillow. No matter how tempting it may be, you'll end up getting telepathically thrown across the room.

"Lighten up already! It was an accident for Mew's sake!" I couldn't help but whine a little when I said that. Seriously, Girlia seemed to like banging my head against walls a lot. Maybe he was just using the pillow thing as an excuse to beat the shit out of me? ... Nah, he's too foul-tempered to be that clever. He's violent, not cruel...

"Next time, you're going straight through that window!"

"It's closed and locked."

"I know," Okay, scratch that. Girlia is cruel, "And stop calling me Girlia!"

"I didn't!"

"You did in your head!"

"Don't read my mind you damned psycho psychic!"

"Stop thinking so loudly then!"

"If you two are done," I blinked and turned to see Mudkip at the door, giving us both an extremely flat look as she continued to speak, "Greg and Alexa are going to start battling each other soon. It might be nice if you two showed up as Alexa only has Houndour right now."

"This isn't over. I'm gonna make your life a living hell if you do anything like that again," I had a feeling that I was the only one who heard Girlia's threat when he turned to leave the room in the Pokémon Center. Oh yeah, that's right, we were supposed to have a practice bout today before going up against the gymleader. Sigh, why did I have the feeling that this simply wasn't going to end well? Because Girlia and the damned mutt would be involved, right... Well, I could always use grasswhistle again to get out of it couldn't I?

And yet, somehow I had the sinking feeling that it wouldn't work this time. But at least I wouldn't have to fight against the prat...

"All right, here's how it's going to work Alexa," Greg was grinning madly by the time I came out, reluctantly standing beside Girlia and the mutt as we heard the other human continue to flap his trap, "We're going to double battle; my Mudkip and Mawile against your Treecko and Kirlia!"

"WHAT?!"

Oh,fuckno. I was going to battle as a team with Girlia? Said pokémon turned to me and smiled in a way I can describe with no other words; pure evil. Granted, my fear of him was probably my own doing... Kissing him when we were drunk and always calling him Girlia... But honestly, life's too boring to do anything you don't want to do. I wanted to do that stuff.

What, you can think of something better to do than bug my teammate? Well, I doubt it's more fun.

"It kind of seems like Jack doesn't want to battle," Alexa frowned at me when she said that, and trust me I felt a huge wave of relief going over when she noticed my reaction. However, the smile on her face made the relief leave in favour of fear, "Too bad, Jack, we have to do this if we want to beat Rustboro's gym leader! Let's go, Kirlia and Jack!"

"You too, Mudkip! Go, Masumi!"

Well, so much for my remaining in one piece. Mudkip ran up as Greg threw a pokeball into the air, an all-too familiar white light blinding me. Yeah, I was dumb enough to look at the thing head on, so what? At least I could see again... And what I was seeing had to be one of the strangest pokémon I had ever seen. It had this tiny yellow body and a cute face, sure, but that long black thing connected to it's head... Was it just me, or was that a second mouth?

"Hmm... She's almost as pretty as I am..."

"I'm not a girl!" I couldn't help but laugh when the other pokémon commented on Kirlia's appearance, it really just proved my point! Granted, I could feel him glaring at me, but can you honestly blame me for laughing?

... Well, apparently Girlia could, something I found out when I was tossed towards the Mawile before us, "GAH! HEY!"

"Eep!" I heard the other pokémon squeak as I landed ontop of her. With such a big head, I was actually kind of surprised at how dainty she was... Of course, it didn't mean she couldn't pack a punch, "Don't land on me you insolent Treecko!"

"It's not my fault that Kirlia bloody tossed me at you," I grumbled and glared at the thing while rubbing my cheek. Come on, that bloody thing didn't have a reason to hit me! It wasn't my fault she was stupid enough to insult Girlia! Only I'm allowed to be that stupid!

... You heard nothing.

"Boys," Mudkip sighed and just sat down, Greg staring at all of us stupidly for the moment. Alexa... Was also staring, but somehow she just looked less stupid doing it. Maybe it was because that blank, staring-into-space look was the one she wore in the Rocket Bases? Probably.

"D-Don't let that get to you! Kirlia, use Confusion on Mudkip!"

Finally, he'd throw someone else around for a change. Girlia stopped glaring at me and, after giving a nod, used his mind to pick up a now-flailing and protesting Mudkip. It looked kind of funny actually, no wonder he enjoyed doing it so much...

What was even more amusing was that Masumi (the Mawile in case you're completely dim and couldn't tell) lunged forward then and clamped the teeth of her second mouth right across Girlia's middle. I had actually fallen down laughing by this point, but that didn't mean I couldn't hear the psychic's agonized screaming. Later, I would learn that Bite was a 'dark' type attack, which rendered psychics completely powerless, but for now I was too busy being amused by Girlia's current predicament.

"Jack! Bullet Seed on Greg's Mawile now!"

Aww, now I had to do something? Peachy... Well, it was time to bail out Girl-

And, as if by divine retribution, I was bowled over and knocked straight into a tree, knocking me out. The kicker? It wasn't even bloody Girlia throwing me into the tree! But now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go into unbearably painful unconsciousness now.

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Kirlia's POV

Ugh. If it wasn't for the fact that I was in positively excructiating pain right about now, I would have torn that Mawile into pieces by now! Though, granted, there was something that made the agony worth it; the sight of that idiot Jack getting bowled over by a blond-haired human boy and hitting a tree. Ten points, blond human. Ten points.

"Wow, you guys are having a double battle? Can I-"

"What the hell do you think you're doing? You just knocked out Jack!" My trainer started to freak out at the newcomer as she ran over to Jack, checking if he was okay before returning him to his pokéball. I honestly didn't know why she bothered, but I guess that blasted Treecko was her first pokémon...

"Yeah buddy, what's the big idea? You interrupted our battle!" Greg was up, and he wasn't too happy about it either. In fact, I think I was the only one showing any sign of relief, and it was only because Masumi had finally stopped using her second mouth to try and tear me in two.

I hate dark type attacks now, by the way. I can't just make them go away with telekinesis... Psychic powers are useless against them and they really, really hurt! That's why they're so... Oh god I hope Jack never learns an attack like that. Otherwise, my days of bashing his head in are numbered...

Where was I? Oh yeah, the blond human. He was breathing hard and saying sorry. I hadn't really been paying attention because I was rubbing my poor sides and staring at the red bite marks. Alexa had run straight to Jack's aid but left me there... Oooh, I hated that Treecko!

"Yeah, anyway, my name's Tim! I just came over here from Sinnoh so I'm going to take on the first Hoenn leader right away! My starter pokémon was a-"

"Stop talking already!" Greg groaned as he returned his Mawile to her pokéball. Unfortunately, the other human didn't stop talking but kept on flapping his gums. It was amazing that he didn't have to stop for breath, especially since he wasn't using telepathy! Then again, Humans couldn't use telepathy in the first place, but that wasn't the point!

"-and that's how I got here! What're your names? I wanna get them in my phone list so that I can call you up and keep you updated with my progress here in Hoenn!"

He pulled out one of those phone things Crescent had used to try and contact his friends back home and held it up, causing both Greg and Alexa to look confused. I had to say, I was confused too... And getting increasingly annoyed. How could this human keep going without listening to anyone else? And that thing, it looked... that phone thing looked tacky!

"Forget it! You ruined the double battle and knocked my pokémon into a tree! You could have seriously hurt him!"

"I already apologized about that, no need to have a Miltank..."

WHAP. It was satisfying to see Alexa hit that kid like that, the red handmark seeming to sting as the blond rubbed his cheek dumbly, "What'd you hit me for?"

"You see kid, she's not a trainer you want to go insulting, whether she's a very good one or not-"

"You're not helping!" Alexa hissed as she kicked Greg's leg, causing him to howl in pain and hop away. I had to wonder, just why did that scenario look so familiar? Stupid comment, person hits the first for making a stupid comment, then there's another stupid comment and more hitting...

Nope. Not making the connection.

"Jeez, Alexa, I was just warning poor Timmy here!" Greg smiled weakly, although he blinked when he saw the aformentioned blonde getting worked up all over again, "Huh? What'd I say?"

"It'sTim! My name is Tim, not Timmy! Timmy is a little kid's name!"

"Could have fooled me, you look like you're not even old enough to be a trainer. What d'you carry in that bag, diapers?"

"Why you...! That's it, let's battle right here and now!" Blondie was getting mad now. Whatever a diaper was, it must have been offensive... And, out of no where, I felt Alexa picking me up and I couldn't help but turn to blink at her. What was-

"We'd better sit back and watch this one; There's no stopping two boys from butting heads once they get riled up like this..."

Sadly enough I had to agree; When we got mad, we got mad and had to take it out the only way we knew how. In my case (and apparently Greg's too), it was violently.

"Go, Chimchar!"

"All right Mudkip, you're up!"

I just sat back, thinking that this would be a good show. What greeted my eyes, however, was a flaming monkey-pokémon that smacked it's own rear when it came out. How... vulgar. Really, it was just disgusting, how it was doing that-

Okay, that had better be mud it had in it's hand. Wait, yeah, I saw it pick up the dirt from the ground. Good. Apparently it was some sort of attack, weird, I'd have to learn something like that...

"Mudkip, you use mudslap too!" I blinked as I saw Mudkip obediently blowing out some water onto the ground before using her legs to kick it towards the fire pokémon's eyes as it threw it's own mudball. Trust me, something like both pokémon being blinded by mud was far more entertaining from the sidelines. For once, I was actually glad that I wasn't stuck in the middle of the brawl. Really, I actually don't like fighting all that much... The only one who's fun to hurt is Jack. It's just satisfying, really, especially after he calls me Girlia. He doesn't seem to get the message though, the little idiot...

Where was I? Oh right, the battle.

"Chimchar! Get that mud out of your eyes and use Flame Wheel!"

"Dodge it!"

Okay, I really have to say that it was boring me now, mainly because... Well, if you're not in the battle and it was going slowly like this, wouldn't you get bored too? Anyway, they exchanged attacks for a while, and I had to say I was impressed with Mudkip. She was doing really well against the fire pokémon, listening to Greg's orders with unbelievable confidence... Would I ever trust Alexa enough to do that too?

I looked up at her to see that she was watching the battle too. Intently, she was probably a lot more interested in it than I was. She was going on about some sort of battle coming up, that could have something to do with-

"AGH! MY EYES!"

I stared when I saw my trainer yelp and, while dropping me, she vigorously began to wipe at her eyes to get the dirt out. What had just hurt my trainer?! Oh, they were gonna-

"Sorry! I'm still working on Chimchar's aim!"

"Oiy, Timmy! Concentrate on the battle if you don't wanna lose! Mudkip, use Water Gun now!"

Oh, it was on now. I concentrated on the mass of water that was coming from Mudkip's mouth. It stopped just before it hit Chimchar, causing both pokémon (not to mention all of the Humans) to blink at me. Still, I knew exactly what I had to do now; Chimchar would pay for hurting my trainer!

"Stand down, Mudkip. This thing is mine."

Mudkip looked almost terrified as she stepped back towards Greg, Greg blinking at Mudkip before he stared at me, "Alexa, I think Kirlia wants to fight against Chimchar..."

"All right, let's see what that girly little pokémon can do then! Chimchar, you can take more right?"

"Yessir!" The monkey nodded and said the first coherant thing all day before it cracked it's knuckles, "This is going to be fun! You're going down, girly-man!"

Oh, that was most definitely the last straw. That Chimchar, and his trainer... They were both going to get hurt so badly that they'd wish they'd never been born.

"All right then..." Alexa groaned while she wiped the dirt out of her eyes, still having tears in them but wearing a confident smirk as she pointed a finger forward, "We'll fight and we'll win! Go, Kirlia!"

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Woot! My first update in such a long time! Luckily, we finally figured out just what was causing my hiatus and, in light of this new fact, I actually can say that there will be more updates in the future! But, until next time, I bid all of the faithful readers a fond farewell and I hope to see you all again soon!