A/N: Thanks to all who read and review, I am glad this is to your liking. Sorry for taking so long to update, school and my niece was born this past tuesday...so I have been pretty wrapped up with the new babe. Anywho, here is the next chapter...Enjoy. Btw, this song is one of my absolute faves, it inspired the title for the first story of James and Isabella series. But I thought it was more appropriate for this story too. See if you could find the title of the first story within the lyrics...lol!
Chapter 15: All for the love of the Admiral
I looked away
Then I look back at you
You try to say
The things that you can't undo
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through
Make it through the fall
Make it through it all
And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cuz I'm in Love With you
You're the only one,
I'd be with till the end
When I come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the stars
Back into your arms
Wanna know who you are
Wanna know where to start
I wanna know what this means
Wanna know how you feel
Wanna know what is real
I wanna know everything, everything
I'm in love with you
Cuz i'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
I'm in love with
- Fall to pieces, By: Avril Lavigne
I watched the stars above, shining and sparkling than ever before. I shed no more tears. I couldn't and I would not. He did not deserve them. But yet I still shed them like endless raindrops, I don't know why. I keep asking myself why I love him so. I am drawn to him, something within in him calls to me. Was it the lack of love he had before we met? Or was it that I wanted to find love, in hopes of him loving me back with such passion. Passion, I smirked at myself while I thought of this word. Something that I wanted to give and recieve. And, we were getting to that point, but the thought of her had to ruin our lustful moment.
As my long hair bellowed with the cool sea breeze, I felt more empty than ever before as the air filled my lungs. I was in the farthest depths of the gardens of Norrington Manor. What was I going to do? Should I go back to my sisters and Tegan, maybe that was best...for them. But I knew it would not be best for me, I would go mad. Or should I stay and make him feel sorry for what he just done. I pondered this for awhile. I kept thinking and thinking that I did not hear someone behind me.
I turned abruptly to see who was.
James kneeled down to the floor hugging my waist tightly as I stood. His beautiful eyes were filled with so much pain, much more so than that faithful day I had met him.
"Please Narissa, I did not mean what I said...I swear it!" pleaded James. I looked down at him, should I believe him?
"James, please don't swear things you don't mean...you...you are making this difficult for me, please". Once again I tears streaming down my cold cheeks.
"Then you believe me, darling I would never do this again. She just came into my mind...I don't love her". James held me tighter, kissing my flat stomach.
I pushed away from him before I lost control. "Stop saying things you don't mean! James I gave up everything for you!" I yelled to snap him out of it.
He stood furrowing his brows. "What do you mean?"
I sighed in frustration. "I mean to say was that I bacame this, to be with you for the rest of my days. I left my family behind for my sick love for you! And now, my mother is gone...I knew that this was a foolish thing to do. But yet...I...I still love you so much!"
James stared down at me confused as I sunk to the floor with tears streaming down my face. The minutes seemed to go by slowly as I silently cried and he kneeled down once more next to me, watching me intently. Under my long lashes I could see that he realized what I had done to be with him. He seemed to feel worse.
He placed his palm on my cheek and looked into my eyes, I tried to pull away but held onto me tightly as if I was going to runaway, which I almost did. "I know this is not the best time to ask you this, but I have to ask for my peace of mind and heart, are you leaving?"
"I don't know, if I do...I don't know what will happen, I might go mad." I replied quietly.
"Then you don't have to. Narissa, I will be honest, she is not completely out of my thoughts or heart yet, I am working on that. I am trying to get her out for good, for you." James took my hands and intertwined his fingers with mine. "But you have occupied most of it, I am in love with you...there is no denying that. You have brought back passion into me, with you it is something like I never felt before, not even Elizabeth ". I cringed as I heard that name come out of his lips.
I watched him for a few moments. He was sincere, but I could not wrap my mind around it. "I will stay, but only because I am such a fool that you have me wrapped around your finger". I pushed from his grip on me and headed back inside the manor. I will not get close to him, he has to earn my trust again. Yet, he still had my heart. All this for the love of Admiral Norrington which Elizabeth Swann will no longer have...