CHAPTER 30

Longings and daydreams of embraces and kisses began to stir Harry. However, he yearned for far more than just superficial sexual gratification. He wanted to look into Severus's eyes, hear his voice in his ear, feel his goodwill and affection reflected in an embrace...

"What are these feelings I am developing for my husband, who just happens to be Severus Snape?" he would whisper from time to time to himself.

The very last thing he had expected from this marriage was developing feelings for Severus, former Death Eater, detested Potions Master and nemesis of James Potter and Sirius Black, the people Harry held close to his heart. If Harry could not forget Severus's decidedly unpleasant history, then he could not forget what he had learnt about the man during the months he had lived together with him; and what he had learnt had touched him in a completely unforeseen manner.

In his confusion, he turned to his sketching and drawing for relief. Some of the motives he drew were taken from his surroundings and others stemmed from his imagination. Thus, he sketched flowers blurred by rain when he was out in the grounds, and the wind chimes and birdhouse in Severus's little sanctuary found their way onto drawing paper as well; and from his imagination, he drew two rings which were lying on a table, touching. One ring was set with a green gem and the other with a black one. His favourite and most personal sketch was that of a shadowy messy-haired figure with a cavity in its chest, kneeling next to a bleeding heart while another tall slim profile had its back turned to both. Although this confusion made him feel both uncomfortable and secretly exhilarated around Severus at the same time, he was happy to see that Severus did not revert to his distanced pre-Hogsmeade-shopping-trip behaviour. On the contrary; when he saw Harry wearing the new things he had bought him, he smiled rather proudly; and towards the middle of March, he handed a small packet to Harry.

"For you," he said.

"For me? But what is the occasion?" Harry asked, surprised.

"Opening it would be a very recommendable start," Severus hinted loftily.

Harry looked at the packet and turned it over in his hands, savouring the mere view and feel of it; then he slowly opened it and extracted an expensive-looking box. He admired the box as well before flipping up the cover. He swallowed. It was a beautiful watch with satiny black links and a black dial with four lines and two hands, like many muggle watches. He noticed that the watch had two buttons on the back. Curiously, he pressed one of them. He inhaled sharply as the lines vanished and were replaced with little stars and twelve hands.

"Most wizards receive a watch when they come of age at seventeen. I did not. Nor did you. It is high time that you had one," Severus said.

Harry was staring into his eyes, at a complete loss for words.

"It is not a cliché that Swiss watches are good," Severus added stiffly. He frequently spoke stiffly when trying to hide his embarrassment. "There is a wizarding watch manufacturer in Geneva, and I had your watch ordered there. This booklet will tell you all about the material and how to switch between muggle and wizarding watch faces, though you seem to have already guessed how-"

He was interrupted by two arms wrapping around his neck and a kiss on his thin cheek. Severus patted Harry's back and finally stroked the messy hair while Harry hugged him so tightly that Severus was starting to find breathing extremely difficult.

"Severus…I...This is…Oh, I don't know what to say! Thank you so much! It's exquisite!" Harry gushed, removing his old watch. "Will you put it on for me?"

He drew back, holding out his hand; Severus gently fastened the new watch around his wrist.

"Severus, you've spoilt me completely," Harry said. He ran his finger over the shiny black wristband and blinked back his tears.

"It's as black as your eyes. It's simply lovely," he breathed. Severus flushed. A lot. Harry, perceiving the colour, blushed himself.

"I have come to value the time I spend with you, Severus," he smiled, holding up his hand, the face of the watch turned towards Severus.

"One reason why I gave you that watch was to show my appreciation of the time spent in your company, Harry," Severus said softly, the rigidity gone from his voice. Harry could not help himself and hugged Severus again.

Severus discovered two things. Firstly, he enjoyed it when Harry embraced him, and, secondly, it made him feel more warmly than ever towards the spontaneous youth he had married. Simultaneously, a sharp pang of grief gnawed at him when he thought of the impending battle with Voldemort – and that they would divorce if they did survive. There was no way that Harry would ever want to be together with him…

Harry stood on the tip of his toes and pressed a long kiss to Severus's forehead, dispelling his momentary gloom.

"Thank you," he whispered, his eyes sparkling, "thank you so much. I'm having the time of my life."

There was no way at all…was there?

He noticed that Harry's blush was still there. In fact, Harry was quite a blusher.

"Why are you flushing like that?" he wanted to know.

"Well, your gaze is so…intense. Almost like you're practising Legilimency. And…" he moistened his lips.

"Yes?" Severus prompted.

"I like your eyes." How cold and dead your eyes used to be! Now they are warm, full of life and…dare I say, fondness for the Gryffindor brat you are married to? Harry added silently. Severus, who was rather charmed by Harry's answer, seemed to catch the thought and he smiled. He bowed his head a little so that their faces were on the same level.

"Allow me to return the compliment, Harry; you have inherited an exquisite characteristic from your mother – and more besides that." His voice was low, the words uttered quickly as if he was anxious for them to leave his lips before he changed his mind and held them back in case they sounded too stupid and sentimental.

You are wasting your hugs and smiles on me, on this stick you were forced to marry, Severus thought cynically, you deserve someone who is your equal….He wondered if Dumbledore, with his insight into human nature, had guessed that Severus and Harry would put aside the resentment they harboured towards each other? Did that make them equal?

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