CHAPTER 33

A few days passed, but Severus still didn't tell Harry about his new Patronus. Telling Harry would expose him and his feelings – he was sure of this. And Harry would be horrified. Disgusted. Point out that Severus was truly Voldemort's tool and as perverse as Voldemort wanted him to be. Maybe he would even think of their bonding night and call him a rapist. Severus's chest tightened at such thoughts, even though a small voice struggled to be heard in his pessimism, whispering to him that Harry would not react like that at all. That Harry liked him. More than liked him. That Harry teased him and had not protested one bit to his flirting – quite the contrary…And why had Dumbledore seemed so positive? Severus shook his head. The wizard with his unique insight into human feelings had known. He had stated more than asked Severus whether he loved Harry; and Severus Snape, the cool composed Potions Master, the skilled Occlumens, had been unable to deny it. Or to prevent the transformation of his Patronus. Severus brought his fist down on his desk. He would go to Harry. Now. And tell him about the Patronus; and if Harry dared to ask more questions, then he would make sure that Harry would not utter them. He was Severus Snape, and he knew how to make people fall silent. But Harry was not "people".

In the meantime, Harry was doing some thinking of his own. He had somehow or the other managed to fall in love with the forbidding Potions Master. They had come close to kissing more than once. He did not dare hope that Severus could possibly feel the same way towards him, but if he didn't try, didn't attempt to take a step forwards, then Harry would never know, and time was running out. He would soon have to confront Voldemort. He wanted Severus to know about his feelings beforehand, even if he ran the risk of being thoroughly rejected and perhaps shattering their friendship in the bargain. Severus could force Veritaserum down his throat, and Harry would not be able to change the truth. A familiar knock on the door made his heartbeat accelerate.

Severus knocked on the door. He was not at all nervous. He was calm and composed as usual. At least, that was what he was trying to tell himself.

"Come in," Harry called melodiously. Severus opened the door wide and entered. Harry was on his bed, reading. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and his bare feet were buried in the bedspread. It seemed unjust that this blooming young man was his husband and had to carry so many burdens upon his shoulders instead of enjoying his life. Then again, Harry seemed very happy and comfortable around Severus. In fact, he was smiling at him now. He slid off the bed and placed his hands on Severus's shoulders, looking into his eyes. A blush had spread over his cheeks. They studied each other. Harry kissed Severus softly on the forehead. And on his curved nose. On his chin. His cheeks. Severus did not move; his eyes, however, revealed his inner tempest. It was completely still in the room. Like when they had been dancing, everything seemed to be holding its breath in anticipation. Green eyes and black eyes locked together in questions, demanding answers. Then Harry's lips met Severus's in the sweetest of kisses, timid, but bearing promise of more kisses to follow. Severus closed his eyes, determined to cherish the moment and its memory for as long as possible, his lips refusing to let go of Harry's. Harry was kissing him and he was kissing him back. They drew back a little, eyes locking. Severus leant his body against Harry's, and they slowly lay down on the bed, Harry delighted and delirious as they resumed their kissing. Severus positioned his body between Harry's thighs. His hands squeezed Harry's shoulders as he kissed Harry with rising passion, finally slipping his tongue into the enthusiastic fresh mouth, where an equally enthusiastic tongue welcomed him. They were locked in another passionate kiss when a searing pain on his left forearm distracted him. Harry immediately recognised the blank expression on Severus's face. He cradled Severus's head against his chest, and Severus sighed. Then he sat up briskly.

"I have to go," he said reluctantly, flushed and breathing fast.

"Come back soon, Severus," Harry whispered, giving him a tight hug, "and take care."

"I will."

He gave Harry a lingering look and walked out of the room, wrapping his cloak closely around his person.

In his room, Harry was completely overwhelmed. He repeatedly ran his finger across his lips. He could hardly believe it. The expression in Severus's dark eyes…the feelings and the aliveness in them…He went to the library and attempted to read, without success. He tried to practise Duelling moves. He gave up. Those kisses…He sat down despondently on Severus's favourite sofa, and Severus's shirt draped over a chair caught his eye. He stood up and took the shirt in his hands. He pressed his face into the soft material and inhaled the scent of its wearer. Still carrying the shirt, he went back to the library and searched frantically through the commode where Severus kept important papers. He finally found what he was looking for. He left the library five minutes later, stuffing something determinedly into his pocket. His face was set. He went over to the sofa and folded Severus's shirt deftly, cradled it against his cheek one last time before depositing it carefully on the chair over which it had been thrown. He went over to the shelf on which the vial containing his and Severus's blood stood. He took it reverently in his hands, gazing at the dark-red liquid. Then he put it back and ran his finger over his wedding band, smiling. He glanced at his watch for the umpteenth time; he could not stand it any longer; he could not wait for Severus to return to their rooms; he had to go and see him immediately. He ran out of their rooms, rushed up the stairs and out of the castle. He was out of breath by the time he reached the edge of the grounds, where Severus usually Disapparated. Once on the spot, he alternated between twisting his hands and fiddling with the hems of his sleeves, pacing up and down, waiting for Severus to Apparate. Finally, there was a familiar sound of someone Apparating; Severus had arrived at last. Harry turned around, looking into the black eyes. Severus was tired and pale.

"Harry," he said, surprised, the tiredness gone.

Harry took Severus's face in his hands and kissed him warmly on the mouth.

The kiss was firm, infused with the sweetness of love and the charm of innocence.

Severus was still, overwhelmed by the spontaneity of Harry's kiss. Then he returned the kiss gently and drew back, searching for answers in Harry's green eyes.

Harry reached into his pocket, extracting many torn scraps of parchment.

"The divorce forms," he said. "I tore them up while you were gone. I want to stay with you, if you'll have me."

He opened his palm, and the fragments fluttered away.

"Will you have me, Severus?"

Severus's face was flushed.

"What…what exactly are you trying to tell me, Harry?" he asked slowly.

"That I love you, of course," Harry said, sounding annoyed.

"Harry," he whispered, holding his husband close to him, "I love you too. But are you sure that I am what you want, Harry? That you wish to remain married and bonded to me, a difficult man?"

"Yes," Harry said, his eyes sparkling. "You wouldn't be Severus Snape if you weren't difficult. Gryffindors quite like challenges."

"In that case…" Severus whispered, kissing Harry's forehead and raising Harry's fringe, disclosing the scar.

"In that case…?" Harry prompted, recognising the same dialogue from their snowball fight.

"In that case…"

"Yes?"

"In that case, I have to show you something."

"Show me."

"My Patronus has changed. Now it is a panther, and it has your scar on its forehead."

"Your Patronus has changed? Because of me? It has my scar?"

Dumbledore watched as a proud panther and a stately falcon sped towards the castle, the latter flying protectively above the former. When they melted away, he saw the silhouettes of two wizards, one tall and the other less tall, standing together in an embrace. They separated and clasped hands, heading slowly for the castle. Fawkes stretched his neck questioningly as a loud blast of muggle disco music filled the Headmaster's office. Phineas Black promptly took this as a signal to visit Grimmauld Place and entertain the empty room over there with scathing remarks about Dumbledore's taste in music. Dumbledore rummaged for a mango Popsicle.

"Two Patronus changes to report to the Order, my dear bird!" he chuckled. Fawkes resignedly dissolved into flames.

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