A Love For History
Disclaimer; I DO NOT own any Tomb Raider elements, characters, locations, etc… this plot is purely of my imagination.
Chapter 2: This Way
Alister didn't sleep easy that night, twisting and turning among his Egyptian-cotton, caramel colored sheets… scenarios of what would happen if he and Zip told Lara about their little 'secret' playing in his mind.
Each one was worse then the next, it all seemed so vivid… so real. It was as if he was standing on the tracks of an on-coming train… frozen solid.
With a gasp, he lurched up… leaving his un-friendly dreams and returning to the world. There were tears in his eyes, and he quickly put his head into his hands and began to cry softly. Taking extremely short breaks for breath as he tried to gather his emotions…
Everything was a blur right now, his heart told him to tell Lara and Winston… yet his brain shouted that it was a horrible idea. Why couldn't he make up his mind and just leave it at that. Why did everything have to be so complicated!
"Why does it have to be this way…" he whimpered, tucking his legs up to his covered chest and squeezing them against his upper torso for security.
"Be what way?" came a voice from the doorway…
Zip gave the man a confused look as he studied Alister from the doorway… he was wearing his usual blue shorts and grey shirt to bed. He knew them well… his lover always was modest.
He himself stood there with a mug of cocoa in one hand, in the buff except for a pair of red silk boxers.
"Zip?" replied the blonde with a crack in his voice.
He slowly closed the door behind him as his gaze meet the bookworm's teary eyed one. "Alister, what's wrong with you?" he asked again, making his way over to the bed.
The technician put his mug onto the man's bedside table as he sat down on the edge, taking the speechless archeologist in his always-awaiting arms.
As they both hugged each other, Alister felt a shot of pain jolt through his heart… igniting more tears into his eyes.
"Shh…" the large man soothed, massaging the smaller one's back as he felt warm tears fall onto his shoulder and glide down his body.
Alister continued to let his pain and anxiety fall from his weary eyes, salty water on his lips making his want to cry more.
He hated the way this worked! He had wanted to cry and let all these emotions leave him for good so that he could continue on with his life. But no! His world had to wait –just- until he was vulnerable enough and then send it all down upon him! Oh God… it hurt so much to feel this way…
Soon, he was reduced to nothing more then just chocking softly back as he tried to calm himself down a bit.
Zip soon saw his chance to ask his lover what was wrong… it broke and shook him to the soul to see Alister like this. He loved to always see that always-cute smile on his face everyday…
"Al… what's wrong?" he asked for the third time.
There was a short silence, then the sound of a breath being taken in…
"Zip… I'm ashamed…" he said slowly, the sound of a back-wash of tears in his now-broken voice.
'Ashamed?'thought the technician, 'Ashamed of what?'
"Zip… I'm ashamed of us… of this, I'm so afraid and it hurts."
As soon as the words hit his ears… the man's heart broke… he felt his insides wrench with shame. Hurt… the one thing the man didn't want to bring upon Alister… and he had done just that. Before any sadness could even spark within him… self rage over took him and he let Alister go, getting up and stomping his foot hard to the floor.
'Oh no' the blonde thought as he saw his soul mate get up… his anger pretty much radiating off him.
"Zip, I-"
"Alister!" the man yelled, turning around…
The bookworm could literally see the veins in the man's strong arms pulsing out from his skin… face red…
"Why didn't you tell me!" the technician shouted, though trying not to be too loud.
The Alister recoiled a bit, "Zee, I'm sorry… but I just-"
" 'But you just' what!?"
"But I just didn't know what to say!" Alister countered, tears returning.
"Well, I think it's pretty easy to say that you felt uncomfortable!" the dark haired man shouted.
"It's not that!" the blonde shouted back, anger beginning to kindle inside of him as well.
"Well, then what fucking is it Alister! What did I do wrong!? HOW CAN I FUCKING PLEASE YOU!?" the man finally let out… his words slapping his beloved straight in the face.
"I DIDN'T WANT TO BE THIS WAY, I DIDN'T CHOOSE ALL OF THIS, AND I DIDN'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU!"
Zip's eyes went wide as the words met his ears, streaming into his mind… playing over and over and over again.
Then… there was silence… and the technician just stared into Alister's water stained eyes, grabbed his mug and left… going out the door, but stopping as soon as he reached the doorway.
The blonde tried to say something… anything… to apologize… but the words wouldn't come.
Then… the love of his life was gone…
The bookworm's mind was rushing, everything happened so quick… so… so… simply!
As the door clicked to signal it's closing… Alister collapsed into more tears… pain flooding through his entire being. How could he have been so stupid… what was wrong with him!
The man… couldn't remember a time when he felt more alone… more pain… and had cried so much in his life.
His only comfort and fear… was that it would be tomorrow soon…