Strangelove
Chapter 9
The bright lights twinkled restlessly above Jude, as she twirled in time to the amorphous, thumping music the club featured. Dancing had a strange, hypnotic effect on her, rendering her mindless and thus oblivious to emotion. However, that was always a temporary condition, necessitating other remedies.
Stumbling through the large crowd, she navigated towards the bar. With just one glance and a hand signal to the familiar bartender, she quickly obtained exactly what she wanted.
Reclining slightly against the shinny chrome counter, she took small, lady-like, but frequent sips from the plastic cup. When she wasn't dancing, she always drank. Rationalizing her actions, she would tell herself it was her only respite from the monotonous music; one song undistinguishable from it's predecessor.
It wasn't her scene or her style. But lately, Jude sought refuge in large, impersonal settings; it was easier to lose yourself there. On the nights she wasn't at the studio, or doing one of Darius's endless publicity set-ups, she had nowhere else to go. Her mother had eloped with one of her interchangeable, seemingly random, boyfriends. All Jude knew was that she was in Europe now; her exact whereabouts and the date of her return unspecified.
Sadie's presence had also become erratic since Darius enabled the launch of her modeling career. She spent considerable time either working or networking.
"Or screwing D! And probably other guys who will get her jobs!" Jude thought, knowing well the realities of the entertainment world.
In truth, her sister's new lifestyle suited her just fine. It kept Sadie from the house and Jude never wanted to see her there.
The remotest chance of that sufficed to keep Jude away from home.
"Two more months... The second I turn 18... I'm so outta there!" she vowed constantly, usually with liquor engorging and warming her stomach; its heat solidifying her resolve.
"And then I'm going to find Tommy... No one can stop me..."
Passionate though her intentions were, she had no clue exactly how to accomplish this. Except for Darius, it appeared no one knew where he had gone. Even Kwest, now her producer, could only offer a sympathetic glance when she asked him that. It was obvious from the sad look in his eye that he genuinely had no knowledge of his friend's whereabouts.
As usual, her thoughts were interrupted by a tap on her shoulder. Automatically, Jude smiled. Minutes later, she was back on the dance floor.
For endless hours, Jude cycled between dancing, drinking and occasional empty chatter. She was never alone long; there were always plenty of men populating these nights. She remained aloof, never dancing with any of them for more than three songs. She then returned to the bar to wait until the next approached her. She would not go home with any of them.
That honor was reserved for Jack, who she developed some familiarity with. They never talked intimately, but both knew they were kindred spirits, with similarly empty lives. At the end of the night, they instinctively gravitated towards each other. Loneliness and desperation then brought her to his apartment. Sometimes, they had sex. More often, they were too wasted to bother and simply passed out there.
But Jude didn't mind sleeping with him. When she screwed her eyes shut, she felt, tasted and even smelled Tommy in the darkness. She also knew that it was the same for Jack; his mind consumed by someone else, even as his body joined and moved with hers.
Already, she hoped for that tonight. It was clear the alcohol and pills would be inefficient this time. She would need to obtain oblivion and release through other channels.
She caught his eye and he began moving towards her.