Chapter 2

I couldn't believe it. How could someone ever hurt someone like Spencer? She's amazing and beautiful. She never does anything wrong to her dad, yet he treats her this way. What a dick.

"How can you say that!?" I raised my voice a little. I can't believe she thinks this is her fault. "Spencer you don't deserve this and don't say you do. Spence no one deserves this……….especially you. Don't sell yourself short."

I don't know what happened, but the next thing I know I feel her lips on mine. I've waited for this a really long time.

She pulled back slowly and just looked into my eyes. I never realized how blue they were. They were like a beautiful ocean. So gorgeous that I could get lost in them. I should probably say something.

"That was…….uh, awesome" Awesome? Awesome!? Oh my gosh she's going to think I'm and idiot!

She smiled and me and then tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. I reached out and touched her cheek and stroked it with my thumb. She leaned into the touch.

"Thanks for being here for me Ash. It really means a lot." My heart sank. That's why she kissed me? So I guess she doesn't like me………….Fuck.

She must have noticed the look on my face because she's giving me a questioning look.

"What's wrong?"

I had to make up something quick. If she doesn't like me I don't want to freak her out by telling her I like her.

"Nothing I just…………..do you want to lay down or something? You must be tired."

"Yeah sure."

I led her over to my bed and she lied down and covered herself. I kissed her forehead and started to walk away, when I felt her grab my wrist.

"Wait Ash. Can you stay with me?" I was a little confused by the question but just figured she was still a little scared about the incident with her dad.

"Sure Spencer." I got into bed with her and kept about a foot away.

"Ash I know this may sound stupid, but I'm really scared right now so do you think you could cuddle with me?" She turned red after asking this. It was really cute.

"Yeah of course." I said softly. I put my arm around her but was sort of holding it in the air. She noticed because she looked at me weird.

"Something wrong?"

"I just am afraid if I hold you I'll hurt you."

"Ash don't worry about that. I just want to be close to you."

I smiled and pulled her as close as possible. She rested her head on my chest and I just held her there. About 10 minutes later she fell asleep. I just watched her. She's so beautiful when she sleeps. I stroked her cheek and kissed it. I wish I could tell her how I feel but I know she would never return the feelings. One, because I sleep around too much, but I would give that up for her. Two, because I am so bad for her. I mean I'm not pretty, or smart so what could she possibly see in me? And three, if she ever found out about my "problem" she would think I was nuts.

I'm………"depressed" as my doctor puts it. And I um, I cut my self. Yeah I said it. But I can never let Spencer know. She'll look at me different. And I don't want that. About an hour later she stirred in her sleep. She opened her eyes and looked into mine.

"Thanks Ash…….for everything."

"Anytime. I'll always be there for you Spence. You're my best friend. It's my job."

She smiled at me. "Well I should go but do you want to hang out tonight?"

"Yeah sure. How about 8?"

"Sounds good. See you later."

Spencer's POV

So I'm getting ready to go to Ashley's and I'm really excited. And really tired. She helped me so much, but one thing we never talked about was the kiss. I hope we can talk about that tonight. I mean I really like her and I jut hope she feels the same way.

10 minutes later and I'm at Ashley's house. I ring the doorbell and she answers with a smile.

"Hey Spence."

"Hey."

"So I figured movie and popcorn and make out session." She said as we walked into the house. I didn't hear the last part though because she mumbled it.

"Sorry, movie, popcorn and what?"

"Uhh The Hills?"

"Score!" I love that show. Don't ask why.

"Haha okay Spence The Hills it is."

Tonight Tonight its on tonight. I don't want your boring life. And I don't want you-

Ashley answered her cell.

"Hey Spence I got to take this so its going to be about 10 minutes so you can go up to my room and just hang out until then okay?"

"Yeah sure." I went upstairs and into her room. So now what? I guess I'll just look around. I noticed something on her bedside table and picked it up. It looks like a journal. I can't open this its personal. But maybe she wouldn't mind. So I opened it and flipped through the pages. There were song lyrics on there. They were amazing. Did she write these? I continued flipping and then I found a journal entry.

4/12

So I really like Spencer, but there's no way she would ever like me. I mean she's gorgeous. Inside and out. She's so nice and smart and her body is…..whoa. But then there's me: nowhere near any of that. I'm worthless. I'm not pretty or smart. I'm failing all my classes and my mom is disgusted with me. But I think the worst part is that I cut myself. I've never told anyone except that stupid therapist. I really don't like him. But then there's Spencer again. I like her so much but I know she will never feel the same way.

I could not believe it. She likes me? She thinks she's worthless? She cuts herself? What is going on? I have to talk to her about this.

"Hey Spence so what do you wan- what's wrong?"

I held up the journal on the page I was reading.

"You read my journal!?"

"Yeah I did Ashley and I'm sorry I did but I can not believe some of the things you wrote in here!"

"What are you talking about Spence? Everything in there is true!"

"Not it's not! You are not worthless Ashley. You amazing."

"Spencer how can you be so blind? I am nothing close to that. I never have been and never will be……"

"Come here Ashley." I lied down on the and she walked over to me and lied next to me. I turned to her and continued talking. "Ash you are beautiful. You are smart in fact you brilliant. You are so pretty. Your eyes are so beautiful that I get lost in them all the time. Your hair perfectly frames your face. Your mouth, nose and face is……perfect. Like you told me…..don't sell yourself short. You're amazing."

I kissed her cheek and then caressed it. She turned to look at me.

"Do you really think that?"

"No." She looked sad. "I know it." She smiled at me and I kissed her nose. She was so adorable. "But there's something else we need to talk about."

A/N- So guys what did you think?