A/N: Thanks for the reviews. I appreciate all comments - both the good and those pointing out what I should work on.
Stormy: Regarding Rogue, keep in mind this is not how she is but how Bobby sees her. So there may be some discrepencies. I also think a case may be made for her being not as rough and tumble as you may see - in the first movie she seemed very meek and scared and she maintained a lot of that personality thoughout the trilogy I thought. Next chapter should be from her point of view, so give it a try. I'm open to other interpretations, I just don't want you to think that mine is out of a place of laziness, but a thought out choice. Maybe not one you agree with, but not without reason.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my poor, beat up laptop.
Kitty stirred her iced tea with her straw, staring at the ice cubes as Jubilee related some or other piece of gossip. She wasn't a fan of gossip under the best of circumstances, but lately with all the real life tragedy that had befallen so many of her friends and teachers it seemed even more superficial.
"So then he said, 'I'm just chillin,'" Jubilee finished with a flourish. "Get it? Just chillin'? The Iceman – chilling?"
Kitty's lack of reaction to what was obviously a first class joke seemed to bother the bubbly teen and she elbowed Kitty hard.
"Ow, Jubes! What was that for?" Kitty winced, rubbing her midsection.
"That was for spacing out on me. What is with you lately anyway?" Jubilee asked snapping her gum in annoyance.
It was a loaded question and one Kitty couldn't really answer. She couldn't explain to her best friend that since the professor's death she felt alone, even in a crowd. That her feeling of safety and security at the mansion had been irrevocably destroyed. For the first time, Kitty realized that she could in her own way be just as untouchable as Rogue – at least Rogue with her powers – and Kitty didn't particularly feel like letting anyone in. What was the point when they would die or leave you? Kitty thought back to the night of the Professor's death when she had confided in someone, shaking her head in disgust at the way things had turned out. No, much better to keep these things to yourself.
Kitty realized that none of this would satisfy Jubilee, however. Much as she loved her friend, Jubilee worked best on surface matters – crushes, fashion, music. She shrugged. "I don't know." Kitty winced listening to how lame her own words sounded. Eloquent.
"Well, you better figure it out soon. Because currently you're not all that popular, what with the rumors about you and Bobster," Jubilee shushed Kitty before she had time to protest. "I said rumors calm down. I'm just saying; you walk around moping all the time and you might drive away what few friends you have left."
"Thanks, Jubilee, that was just what I needed to hear," Kitty muttered sarcastically, pushing away from the table in disgust.
Kitty ignored her friend's protests, although she knew in some respects she was right. The whole mansion was abuzz with rumors as to why Rogue had decided to get "cured" and one of the most popular was that she had done so after finding Bobby had cheated on her with Kitty. The rumor was absurd, but too juicy to not be passed on in the world of teenagers who lived and worked together.
So caught up in her thoughts, she didn't pay much attention to where she was walking until she crashed right into the figure in front of her. She found herself standing face to face with possibly the only person at the Institute less popular than herself at the moment. John Allerdyce.
She hadn't known John well before he left for the Brotherhood of Mutants and she couldn't say she was all that eager to get to know him now. But she had bumped into him and it was only polite . . .
"Sorry," she mumbled, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear nervously.
"What do you have to be sorry for?" John smirked. "It's your school; I'm just the convict taking up space in the hallway."
Kitty, despite the voice that was telling her to just walk away, felt like she should explain. "It's not like that; I just have a lot on my mind and wasn't watching," she answered taking a deep breath.
John's eyes narrowed dangerously and Kitty realized suddenly that he made a very imposing villain when he tried to. "A lot on your mind? Bobby's been called worse, I suppose."
Kitty knew it was bad when even John had heard the rumors. "Damn it, can no one in this school shut their mouths for ten seconds?" She blurted out angrily, forgetting she hadn't intended to talk to John.
She tried to stalk by him, but John grabbed her elbow. She paused a moment before phasing, letting him subtly know that she was listening, but could change her mind at any time. "I'm not talking about any rumors, Kit-Kat," he continued. "I saw your little lover's spat in the hallway before your top secret X-Man meeting with Logan. If I were you I wouldn't let anyone talk to me the way Bobby talked to you in that hallway."
Kitty rolled her eyes. He couldn't have had it more wrong if he tried. Still . . . it was nice to have someone who was sticking up for her, albeit completely for the wrong reasons. "It's not like that. Look, I've got to go," and with that she turned and walked back to her room.
Lover's spat? As if! X-Man meeting with Mr. Logan? Not in this century, or so had been made abundantly clear. Kitty flounced on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as she thought back to the hallway yesterday.
Sitting on the bottom step, she had been reviewing in her mind the events of the week prior. Half to get a handle on herself, half to ignore the increasingly hostile voices of the teachers she was to meet in just a few minutes.
Despite her fears and the ultimate outcome, Kitty had felt that the mission to San Francisco had been a personal success. Growing up the only child to parents who were unhappily married, loneliness was something she was used to. Finally, Kitty had gotten to a place where she was accepted; she was part of the team completely. In Bobby, she had found a true friend, someone who she could confide in all the deep thoughts and feelings that made Jubilee roll her eyes or squirm uncomfortably. Sure, he was a boy, but that didn't matter much. He understood her, in ways that no one else at the mansion seemed to. And then, during the actual battle, she had managed to save Jimmy – to find him, to outsmart the Juggernaut and lead them both to safety despite not having the use of her powers. It wasn't ideal, but in the topsy turvy world since Xavier's death, Kitty had learned that small victories were sometimes more important than perfection.
But somehow in the week that followed it had all fallen apart. Bobby – the one true friend? Wouldn't talk to her or even look her way. She felt confused and afraid until Jubilee had told her the rumors. Hadn't Rogue seen them kissing on the pond the night Xavier died? Hadn't she left the very next day so that she could kiss her boyfriend and keep him from the man stealing hussy? If it hadn't been used to describe her, Kitty would have laughed at the use of such an old-fashioned word.
Was it possible that Rogue believed these things and had ordered Bobby to stay away from Kitty? That didn't sound like the Marie that Kitty considered a friend, if not a close one. They hadn't hung out much lately, but Kitty had chalked that up mostly to Marie wanting to explore her new powers. Did Bobby think she had "harbored designs" on him and was staying away? Or had he only been interested in one thing that he could now get from his girlfriend? Either way there were a million different moments Kitty could put her finger on where previously they would have shared a smile or a few words. Instead she had been left with icy stares.
When he hadn't shown up for his Calculus tutoring session, Kitty thought that perhaps he had done so well on his last exam he hadn't needed them anymore. When he excused himself from the game of pick up basketball that Piotr had dragged her to in order to round out the teams, she figured he had tired himself out earlier. When he changed tables at lunch from their regular spot, she figured he and Rogue needed some alone time. She tried to shrug it off; Bobby was busy catching up on schoolwork and his relationship. But after today in Physics and a million other missed looks, Kitty couldn't deny that he was in fact avoiding her.
She was surprised at how much it hurt. She had other friends – Jubilee and Pete to name just two. Kitty was friendly enough, despite her shyness and wasn't disliked at the mansion or at least hadn't been until recently. With Bobby, though . . . he always knew the right thing to say or do. They worked well together in the Danger Room when paired up and they complemented each other in class work when grouped together. His lighthearted banter kept her from being too serious and her studiousness rubbed off on him slightly to the point where they actually got things done. To have all that taken away without an explanation or anything . . . hurt was the only word that Kitty could think of, yet it seemed wholly insufficient to express the emptiness.
She wished she could have told him about this meeting. Mr. Logan had seemed so serious when he mentioned it to her. She had at first thought that it was just a "State of the Union" type meeting – where each member of the team stood post their first real battle before getting back into training. However, neither Warren nor Piotr had received any sort of notice when she had casually mentioned it. Only her. She had been the one to find Jimmy, but somehow the tone of Mr. Logan's voice . . . it didn't seem the good sort of meeting. Kitty couldn't talk to Jubilee about it. She was still smarting about not being allowed to train with her friends although Kitty could admit that her friend's powers were nowhere near as helpful in a fight as those who had been promoted to the team. Jubilee had heard about the Danger Room, but never been allowed to work in it, grouped instead into the regular self-defense classes all students took since the Stryker raid.
All of these thoughts had been racing through her mind when she felt a slight breeze as if a window had opened behind her . . . or if behind her stood someone whose body temperature was quite frequently below 98.6 degrees.
She knew he would slink away back up the stairs if she let him and found that despite his ignoring her, it hurt more that she didn't know why.
Taking a deep breath, she realized now was her chance. "I'm supposed to have a meeting in there in five minutes, you know." Bobby didn't reply, but he also didn't move, so Kitty plunged on. "You were quiet enough, but there's a little chill to your step you can't completely erase when you're upset."
Half afraid of him turning around and leaving even after she called him on it, she drew her knees up to her chest defensively.
Bobby's tone surprised her in its frostiness. "Yeah, well, good luck with your meeting, I was just on my way to work out."
He walked by without a glance, leaving Kitty with the feeling that there were much worse things from a former friend than being ignored. What had she done that was so wrong? Maybe she should go to Marie and explain that she hadn't meant for anything more than friendship to happen and then have Marie go to Bobby on her behalf? Kitty dismissed it quickly. That would add fuel to the rumors that were already flying, not to mention be completely humiliating.
The sounds of arguing were less muted now and no longer coming from behind the doors she waited to open, but from where Bobby had disappeared, she realized with a start.
Kitty stood, dusting herself off slightly before rounding the corner to see what the trouble was. "Bobby?" she asked, unconsciously reaching for his hand before she realized what she was doing and dropped it to her side. If her conversation wasn't welcome than she didn't want to think what his response to her touch would be. She looked beyond his hand to who he had been arguing with and found herself face to face with the boy that had tried to kill Bobby not a week prior. "John?"
She stepped back slightly. She had missed the actual fireworks he had provided, being inside looking for Jimmy and outracing the Juggernaut, but the burned out hulls of the cars that had dotted the battlefield she emerged into were enough to convince her that John hadn't been playing around.
"Hey, Pretty Kitty," he greeted her with a predator's smile. "How have you been?"
Kitty fought the urge to shudder. How was it possible to be afraid of someone whom only a year ago could have been her partner in chem. lab?
She was saved from answering his false small talk by Bobby's reaction. "Leave her alone!"
A week ago, she would have been touched by Bobby's gesture of protection. After having the Drake version of the silent treatment all week, Kitty was mostly annoyed. Confused a bit, but definitely annoyed. Not to mention she could take care of herself.
"Awww, isn't that cute? Sticking up for the little girl? But my, my, whatever would your girlfriend say? Or did she realize what an uptight ass you were and leave you?" John's response however hit a little too close to home based on the rumors circulating and despite Kitty's annoyance she couldn't help but want to stand up for Bobby.
"Shut up!" The vehemence in her voice surprised even Kitty. She was tired of people treating her like she wasn't there, though, both John and Bobby too caught up in their macho 'mine is bigger than yours' routine. "I'm not a little girl and you have no right to insult Bobby. He and Rogue have been through enough without you to -"
Bobby turned toward Kitty. There were no thanks in his eyes for the way she had been sticking up for him. "Kitty, go back to your room. Logan can come get you when it's time for your meeting. You shouldn't be here."
Kitty tried to speak but no words would come out. How dare he speak to her like a child and in front of one of the Brotherhood! She wouldn't have expected it from a teammate that hated her, let alone someone she had considered a friend. Try as she might, Kitty could not think of one single other moment where she had felt as humiliated and she turned to run, not out of any desire to obey the ridiculous caveman orders, but rather so that the boys couldn't see the tears of anger that had sprung to her eyes near immediately.
Unfortunately it wouldn't be the last moment that night Kitty would rather forget. She had only made it halfway up the stairs when the heavy office doors had opened and Ms. Monroe and Mr. Logan had emerged. Kitty wanted to be anywhere but here in this foyer at this moment but she couldn't break her meeting with Mr. Logan without looking childish, especially if she explained why.
Storm passed by her on the stairs leading a sullen John behind her. He stopped for a moment on the stair next to her and leaned in close. Kitty tried not to flinch, knowing that Bobby's eyes were probably on the pair. 'I shouldn't be here?' she thought angrily. 'I could take him, you watch.'
John seemed to have thoughts other than fighting on his mind, however. "I would never send you to your room," he whispered in her ear and Kitty almost smiled at the ridiculousness of John being the one of the two boys who understood. Then he continued, "But you're always welcome in mine." The tone of his voice implied that Kitty and John would not be spending time their playing scrabble and despite herself she felt the blood rush to her cheeks.
She didn't have time to think about it further, for Bobby was not the only one watching at the foot of the stairs. "Half-pint! You forget our meeting?" Mr. Logan half growled at her. Kitty tried to explain that she had been waiting, but excuses weren't high on Mr. Logan's list. "Get down, here, pronto!"
Kitty scurried down the stairs, still pink. She paused to glare at Bobby willing to tell him with her eyes what she was thinking in her head. 'This is all your fault.'
Mr. Logan was pacing behind the professor's old desk, clearly uncomfortable in the office or maybe in any office, Kitty thought for a moment. The way he paced was not unlike the way a tiger might walk back and forth in a zoo. Kitty stood in the doorway, both at a loss on how to proceed and caught up in memories of the room's former occupant.
Hard to believe that just last week she had sat on that arm chair arguing ethics and Albert Einstein with the greatest man she had ever known.
"Well? Take a seat," Mr. Logan barked and Kitty jumped in spite of herself. 'Smooth, Pryde,' she whispered to herself, unaware that Mr. Logan was doing much the same thing.
It may not have occurred to the pretty brunette now perched on the sofa, but Logan was just as nervous around teenagers as he made them feel. Especially girls. They were alright, as long as they didn't get all weepy on ya, and Logan could tell that this one in particular was prone to tears. The faint puffiness around the eyes told him it had happened recently at that.
Of course, all Kitty knew was that she was alone in a room with the Wolverine for the first time since . . . ever. And she had a feeling that whatever followed would not be something she particularly would care for.
"Probably 'Ro who should be doing this, but she's got a bit on her mind with the fireball staying here, so it's fallen to me. But we agree, so there's that."
Kitty tried to follow Mr. Logan's words, but the logic escaped her.
He seemed to pick up on her confusion and sat momentarily across from her. "We went through some pretty scary times recently. That wasn't how any of us would have wanted your first mission to be, but the truth of it is none of 'em are gonna be easy."
Kitty nodded, letting out an inward sigh of relief. So this was merely a State of Things type meeting. She had let her imagination run away with her again, thankfully.
"You saved that kid's life most likely – none of us could have gotten to him before Juggernaut," Mr. Logan continued. Kitty smiled proudly. Jimmy was adjusting well to life at the Institute although he was subject to almost as many rumors as she herself was.
"It was a stupid thing to do, kid."
Kitty's smile faltered. Surely, she had misheard? She had saved Jimmy's life; she was his only chance . . . where did the stupid come in?
"What is the most important thing about the X-Men?" Mr. Logan looked straight into her eyes as he quizzed her.
His stare was intense and Kitty couldn't hold it for more than a second before she looked down, fiddling with the fraying sleeve of her sweatshirt. "Protecting the innocent?" she ventured a guess.
By the way Mr. Logan stood abruptly, Kitty knew she had guessed wrong. "We're a team. We do things together. Win together, fail together; it's a team effort. Going off on your own like that in the midst of a battle, without proper training – it jeopardized the whole mission."
"What?" Despite her fear of Mr. Logan, Kitty couldn't stay quiet any longer. "I saved Jimmy – you said so yourself that no one else could have!"
"Just because you were lucky doesn't make it the right decision." He lit a cigar, seemingly unmoved by her outburst.
"LUCKY?" Kitty spluttered. Resourceful, intelligent, tenacious – Kitty could think of a thousand more appropriate descriptors for the way she had outwitted the Juggernaut.
"A barely trained teenage girl escapes the second most feared mutant criminal and what else should I call it?" Mr. Logan continued, taking a long drag of the cigar. "Face it, kid, the most likely outcome was that you both got killed, particularly as you went in blind. You didn't know that the kid nullified your powers. Granted you thought on your feet, but going in there without all the info was a damn stupid thing to do."
"Well, you could have told us about Jimmy's powers before hand!" Kitty shot back defensively.
"There were a lot of things that could have happened differently," Mr. Logan admitted, a look of pain crossing his features, and Kitty knew he was thinking about regrets that went a lot deeper than her own. Shaking himself out of his reverie, he put the cigar out as if it suddenly disgusted him.
"Doesn't matter. You aren't ready yet, kid, and Storm agrees with me." Using her code name added a bit of authority to the decision, Kitty noted with regret. Made it all that more official. "You need to learn a lot more about teamwork before you can be an X-Man."
"You of all people are lecturing me about teamwork? That's a bit rich coming from someone who only cares about himself," Kitty scoffed. She knew she had crossed a line, but her outrage at being demoted for making a choice that saved a kid's life overrode the logical part of her mind.
"Be angry at me all you want, darling, it won't change nothing," Mr. Logan said. "Your updated class schedule is here," he said placing a folder on the coffee table in front of her. "Your danger room sessions replaced with the standard self-defense classes and times shifted accordingly. You'll be reviewed again in time, just like every other student."
Kitty snorted. She wasn't like every other student. Not every other student had outwitted a massive giant set on killing her. It wasn't fair.
A day removed and Kitty's feelings on the subject still hadn't changed as she stared at the wooden panels above her. It wasn't fair. Sure, it hadn't been part of the plan, but it had worked out better than the plan. Couldn't Ms. Monroe and Mr. Logan see that?
A knocking on her door brought her firmly out of her ruminations and self-pity. She padded over to the door to see Piotr standing there looking awkward. The big Russian's past was a mystery, but what was not a mystery was how shy he was in the part of the mansion that served as the girls' dormitory.
"Katya, I was wondering if you would like to accompany me down to our session this afternoon? We do not want to be late for Logan," he asked, unaware that each word was torture. Apparently Mr. Logan and Ms. Monroe hadn't seen fit to tell her teammates about her demotion – no, that humiliation would be left to her.
"I'm not going," she said, her voice catching only slightly, she was proud to note.
Poor Pete just stood there gaping. "But, Katya, to skip class is not like you?"
Kitty winced. He was going to make her spell it out. "I'm not a part of the X-Men any longer, Piotr. I take self-defense in the mornings with Jubilee now."
To his credit, Piotr didn't push the matter. "I am sorry to disturb your rest, then Katya. I'm sure Bobby will be upset his favorite sparring partner is no longer available."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Kitty mumbled under her breath before turning back to Piotr with a sad smile. "You didn't disturb anything, Pete. You couldn't be a bother if you tried."
Piotr surprised her by stepping forward to embrace her briefly before striding down the hall. She stepped out of her room slightly to watch him go, grateful for even a little bit of sympathy.
"My, my, Pryde. Seems you've got every boy in this place hot and bothered," a voice mocked from behind. John. Kitty closed her eyes and sank back against her door frame. What had she done to deserve this?
"I'm not in the mood Allerdyce," she spat out between clenched teeth.
"Now, now, Kitty, why so formal with your old friend?" he came up and put his hands on her shoulders, massaging just a little until Kitty phased free with a gasp as he hit a knot on her left shoulder. "And so tense! Why don't you let me help you with that?"
Kitty couldn't say later whether she actually saw something in his eyes that seemed sincere or was too tired to argue. "What do you want do?" she asked, defeated.
John seemed taken aback by the honesty in her voice, as if he expected to go another 10 rounds before having the door shut in his face and wasn't sure what to do next. He weighted his next words carefully but they seemed genuine. "I'm not allowed to leave and everyone treats me like the plague."
'Funny how that happens when you try and kill them,' she thought wryly. "And?" she said out loud.
"And as you're the only person here who has said more than two words to me; I was wondering if you would keep me company a bit?"
Kitty looked up quickly at that. It seemed so sincere, yet still . . . the look he had given her this morning had sent shivers right through her. There was no escaping the fact that John was, with or without his fire, dangerous.
John seemed to misjudge her hesitation. "Both your wannabe boyfriends happen to be below the surface currently, so you don't have to worry about being seen with me."
Kitty started. "How did you know-"
"I lived here for years, Pryde, not to mention I heard your entire conversation with the Ruskie. But look if you need to wait for his protection or Bobby's okay to leave your room, I understand." John made his former best friend's name sound like the dirtiest word imaginable.
She didn't need either of those things, nor did she need to prove herself to John. But it was so nice to have someone treating her normally for once – not like Pete's awkwardness or Bobby and Marie's avoidance or Jubilee asking if she was alright every ten seconds. She didn't want to lose that. She didn't want him to go.
And so despite what Mr. Logan would have thought of this particular decision – or maybe because of it, Kitty admitted to herself with a wicked grin – she closed her door and took the pro-offered juvenile deliquent's arm. "So, where to?"