Author's Note: Warrior, I'm glad you noticed that, because I did it intentionally. It's kind of like Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet in the sense that the first half is essentially a light-hearted comedy, and then transitions into a tragedy. Although I wouldn't consider this fic a tragedy, you get the point.
Also, I just finished writing Chapter 26 of this story, the final chapter of Part II. By the way, Part I (this part) and Part II are very different and only loosely connected, so you may have difficulty transitioning between the two after Chapter 13 (where Part I ends). The two come together in Part III, however.
And, lastly, I've noticed a bizarre pattern. For Chapter 1, I had 2 reviews. For Chapter 2, I had 1 review. For Chapter 3, I had 2 reviews. For Chapter 4, I had 1 review. And so on, and so on. This pattern hasn't been broken yet. So, if I only get one review for this chapter, it'll be pretty weird.
Now, enough of all my rambling. Enjoy the chapter, it's got King Kirrent making semi-intelligent decisions in it!
VIII: The Army
One by one, the peaceful creatures that had been sleeping soundly in their beds in Redwall Abbey woke up, got dressed, and walked outside to meet the new day.
All they met, however, was General Davian.
Davian had given up on trying to find the dormitories shortly after he opened a door and a large broom fell right on his face. So, he simply stormed outside and formulated a new plan, which was that he'd wait in front of the door for the Redwallers to come out.
Marclaw had reported to him, and told him everything that had happened. Davian found it satisfactory. Now the hares were trapped outside, with them safely inside. All that was left to do was to make sure there weren't any creatures in there that could potentially let the hares in, much like how he had let Marclaw and the rest in. So, he stood at one door, and Marclaw stood at another, and the rest all stood at some other door somewhere, with Darkscale patrolling the top of the wall in case something happened.
Davian yawned. He hadn't gotten any sleep all night. Luckily, though, he believed that most of the Redwallers had been accosted. It was now nearing midday, and only a few odd creatures had bumbled out in the last hour.
The door swung open, and Davian stood alert. A fat mole stepped out. Davian pointed the sword right in the mole's belly.
"Do az I zay or die, yez," Davian snarled. He then led the frightened, sniveling mole over to another building with only one door, which he shoved him into. The mole fell down a small set of stairs and bowled over a few other prisoners that had been standing directly at the bottom of them.
Before Davian could close the door, he was bombarded by a loud set of "You evil fiend!"s, "Wait till I get my paws on you!"s, and "You'll never get away with this!"s. Davian paid them no heed, and shut the door.
"I think that all of 'em," Davian said to Greenwart, who was guarding the door, "Marclaw sayz nothing haz come out of door for half hour, yez."
Greenwart made no reply, and Davian walked back to his position. From where he stood, the general could hear Darkscale at the top of the wall, talking to the woodlanders below him.
"I juzt do what Davian tellz me to," Darkscale was saying. From below, the hare colonel shouted something Davian couldn't quite make out. Darkscale shouted back, "No, that wuzn't Davian, that wuz Marclaw."
Davian would have listened more, but the door opened again. Davian held out his sword, but was surprised to see Marclaw walk out.
"I find where they zleep," Marclaw reported, lavishly waving his new sword so that Davian would notice. The general was getting very annoyed with Marclaw's new weapon. Marclaw seemed to be thinking that he was in charge as of late, and Davian had no doubt it was because of that sword. It was as if it had emboldened him, even more than before.
Marclaw continued, "It wuz very zimple, firzt door on left." Marclaw pointed at the door in question with his new sword, and speaking as if Davian had been an idiot not to notice that the correct door had been right in front of him the whole time. "I looked, but it zeemz we get all of 'em."
Davian was relieved. "Good, I get my zleep now." That was all he said before he meandered to the door that Marclaw had just been pointing at and vanished through it. Marclaw hadn't had any sleep all night either, but he wasn't tired, not one bit. No, he would just take this opportunity to flaunt his strength without Davian having to notice.
---
King Kirrent was exhausted after marching so far, and his head still hurt, but the lizard Zalazz assured him that it wasn't very far now. King Kirrent hoped that was so. He hadn't even had a tent to sleep in during the march, and his temper had been steadily rising. If he showed up at the red fort and Davian was dead or something, he would probably just explode right then and there.
"Thiz izz it!" Zalazz exclaimed, pointing out of the forest. Kirrent hurried up, lifting the bottom of his long robe so he wouldn't trip. If Davian was dead, if the "fort" was just a couple of stones in the mud…
King Kirrent saw the red fort. And it definitely wasn't just a couple of stones in the ground. King Kirrent was awe-inspired at what General Davian and the lizards had not had the time to be awe-inspired at when they first saw the spectacle a few days ago. This red fort was the grandest thing King Kirrent had ever seen in his life, and he had seen a lot of grand things, most of which he had sacked and looted.
His initial fear was quelled as well, as he saw a solitary lizard up on the top of the wall. King Kirrent didn't know exactly if the fact that there was only one was a good thing or a bad thing, but the fact that any lizard was there had to be good.
Then King Kirrent saw the small army down below, perhaps twenty creatures in all. And amongst them, standing prominently in the center, was the same hare that had said all those bad things about him. The rat smiled devilishly. Now it was King Kirrent that had the upper hand! Still… He didn't want to just engage the enemy in a charge. He'd be able to overpower them with his numbers, he was sure of that, but he didn't want to have any more losses than he had already concurred.
An idea hit him. He turned to Kalzmar and Corzon, who were just behind him. He picked up a broken branch that was on the ground and drew his cutlass, which was usually securely hidden in his robe.
"Watch what I do, very carefully," he instructed. His two generals watched. King Kirrent took the end of the stick and began to sharpen it with his cutlass. He sharpened for about three or four minutes, until the stick was decently sharp, sharp enough to hurt badly if thrown hard enough.
"Didja see that?" King Kirrent asked. The two generals nodded. Of course, that wasn't good enough. "Then you try."
Kalzmar and Corzon searched a few seconds for another like-sized branch. Once they had both found one, they began to sharpen them. Eventually, the branches looked rather mangled and disfigured, but they had sharp ends on them.
"Good. Now, I need a stick like that for every lizard here. I got an idea."
---
Caldwell paced around uneasily. He had been thinking all day for a way to get into Redwall. He found himself wondering what all the warlords who had tried to take over Redwall had done. Ropes, towers, tunnels… None of it could be done with such limited resources. What he really needed to do was to go back to Salamandastron and bring back the Long Patrol in full force, along with Lord Oxpaw. Then those lizards would be begging for mercy.
"Hey, if it isn't that one blinking king chap!" exclaimed Gavin. Caldwell looked up. King Kirrent had just appeared out of the forest.
"Huh, I would've figured he'd be inside," Caldwell said, mostly to himself, "What's he doing out here alone?"
It was then that Caldwell realized that King Kirrent wasn't alone. An army of lizards drudged out of the forest behind him, all of them carrying long, sharpened sticks. From high above on the wall, Darkscale shouted, "Lookit! King Kirrent! We took over red fort for you!"
King Kirrent marched forward with his army, but stopped a decent distance away from the woodlanders. Paying Darkscale no heed (he actually didn't even hear him), he yelled, "Ha! Look who's in trouble now, Colonel!" He emphasized the last word in a mocking tone.
"You may outnumber us, but we're all trained and experienced fighters, ten times better than your lot!" Caldwell fibbed. Most of the Redwallers with him were armed with kitchen knives.
King Kirrent laughed. "I'll cut right to the point, longears! Kalzmar!"
Kalzmar nodded, and then shouted, "Sticks! Throw them… now!!"
Immediately, a little over fifty sticks were sent flying through the air and the woodlanders. Caldwell suddenly realized that they were in big trouble. Their backs were to the wall, there was nowhere to run. The lizards had abysmal aim, but there were just so many sharpened sticks in the air that casualties would be immense.
Caldwell dove to the side. A stick pierced his footpaw, going right through. The lizards were strong, and they made up for their lack of aim with their brute force. Another stick almost took off Caldwell's ear.
The last of the sticks fell to the ground. Caldwell got up, ripping the stick in his footpaw out painfully and heaving it back at King Kirrent's army. It hit a lizard dead-on.
King Kirrent merely laughed some more. Caldwell looked around; they had been slaughtered. Many were dead, many were injured. The survivors were all moaning pitifully.
"Colonel, are you all right?" shouted Gavin, who had managed to get out of the way of the sticks in time, along with Maudy.
"I'm fine. It's the rest you ought to be worried about!" Caldwell shouted. Dismally, he surveyed the carnage. The two other hares he had brought with him were both dead. Some Redwallers had been hit by so many spears that they looked like pincushions. There were perhaps five uninjured creatures, including Gavin and Maudy.
King Kirrent was laughing, savoring his victory. Now nothing stood in his way!
Caldwell gritted his teeth. "Gavin, Maudy, I need you two to get back to Salamandastron."
"No way, sah!" Maudy exclaimed, "I'm not leaving you here for those lizards!"
"We can't just let Redwall be captured," Gavin said dejectedly.
"It's already been captured," Caldwell winced, "I messed up. I should have brought more hares, just like you said. Then maybe this wouldn't have happened. But it's too late now. If we're all killed, it could be a long time before Lord Oxpaw figures out what happened. Who knows what this bally rat will have done by then. I need you to go."
"We can't!" Maudy insisted.
"It's an order," Caldwell snapped, "Don't disobey the chain of command."
Maudy and Gavin looked at each other, then at Redwall, then at the still-laughing King Kirrent. "Yes, sah," they replied in unison. Then they dashed off.
Kalzmar interrupted King Kirrent's laughing. "Your Eckzellenzy," she announced, "Two longearz are running away."
King Kirrent frowned. They may go back to their badger leader. That would not be good. The king turned to Corzon. Corzon was a moron, but he was the best hunter in the army. "Corzon, kill those two hares."
"Yez, Your Eckzellenzy!" Corzon shouted. He dashed off.
King Kirrent considered what he had just done. He pointed at a group of five lizards. "You five, follow him, in case he does somethin' stupid." The five lizards likewise ran off, eager to do their king's bidding.
Colonel Caldwell was slowly limping his way at King Kirrent, his sword drawn. He wasn't going to go down without a fight. The rat noticed Caldwell before he was even halfway there, however.
"Kalzmar," said the king, "Stop that hare. I want him alive, he has to pay for his insults."
Kalzmar nodded. Grabbing her spear, she slowly approached Caldwell. As soon as she got close enough, the hare leapt forward unexpectedly with his sword. Kalzmar rolled to the side swiftly. Caldwell attempted to turn, but Kalzmar was too quick. She slammed the butt of her spear into the back of Caldwell's skull. The colonel slumped over, unconscious.
King Kirrent walked up. "Very good, Kalzmar. Now, let's see if we can get that lizard up there to open the doors for us. Oh, an' drag that hare with us. I wanna talk to him when he comes round."
In the distance, hidden behind bushes and trees, Wemys turned to Swiss. "Things just got a bit complicated," he said grimly.