The Space Between
Chapter 5: Connecting
Nothingness.
Vast and hollow.
Blank.
Deep and empty.
Lucky shuddered, rubbing his tired eyes. It was useless to try and connect with Carly. He knew that. It only left him feeling drained and dispirited. But something in him wouldn't stop trying. Wouldn't allow him to crush that spark of hope that the connection they shared, whatever the hell it was, would flare to life suddenly.
He turned his head and paused as the brunette sitting at the table not ten feet away smiled his way, raising her glass in greeting, and motioning to the empty chair next to hers. It was an invitation. One he was more than willing to take up.
He needed to fill numbness with something. Someone.
To forget for just a little while that everything he loved, everyone who meant anything, was lost to him.
If Gia wanted him to move on, then he would. When better to start then the present. He slid off the stool, gulping the rest of his drink down, and he returned the brunette's smile.
Flashes of blood and pain flooded his mind.
His glass fell to the floor, shattering at his feet. Gripping the bar, Lucky held his throbbing head in his hands and laughed mirthlessly. Leave it to Carly to unconsciously kick him in the ass for even contemplating going against his heart. It was definitely her style.
"Hey, are you okay?"
He glanced to his side seeing the same woman standing next to him, worry sketched on her face. He regained his composure and nodded, his smile uneven and pained. "Yeah. I'm fine. Just got a pain."
"In your head, I know."
"More like in the ass."
"Huh?"
Lucky shook his head, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. "Don't pay attention to me. I was just thinking of someone."
The woman's face fell and she nodded. "Girlfriend?"
"Not exactly. Or more like not just her."
He watched her face scrunch into a perplexed expression and he almost smiled. She was beautiful he had to admit. Not caramel-skinned exotic beautiful, but few were. He held his hand out. "The name's Lucky."
She glanced at his outstretched hand and then up to his face. He was serious. She began to laugh. Loud, boisterous and amused laughter. "Tell me that was a pick-up line."
Lucky shook his head, grinning. "Nope. Real name." He kept his hand out and, after a few moments, he felt her warm grip in his.
"Vanessa. Vanessa Roberts."
"Well Vanessa, Vanessa Roberts, would you care for a drink?"
Vanessa glanced at the bar, noting the collection of beer mugs Lucky had accumulated. "You sure you want more?"
Lucky followed her glance and managed to look chagrined. "Okay. Maybe I've had a few."
"You think?" Vanessa teased, leaning back against the bar. "Why are you drinking yourself stupid, anyway?"
"Why are you?"
"I asked first."
Lucky stared at her face. "Problems at home. Coping's a bitch."
Vanessa laughed. "I just got fired. Insubordination rules."
Lucky let out a genuine laugh. "You know my father-" He stopped mid-sentence, his eyes unfocused and he got a vision of dark hair.
Bright white room and… fear?
No. It was all in his head.
"Lucky?"
He waved at Vanessa to shush her, concentrating. He cocked his head almost as if listening intently for something.
Vanessa watched, fascinated. She wasn't sure what was going on, but she could tell that whatever was making Lucky act so strangely was important. That or he was a complete loon. Either way, it would make a great story.
Lucky screwed his eyes shut, willing that feeling to come back. Hoping the images would appear. Wanting desperately for that small inkling of thought, that buzz in his head to be what he hoped it was.
Nothing.
He sighed, convinced that he was most definitely losing his mind.
He opened his eyes, looking at Vanessa who seemed to be giving him room to do whatever he was doing. "I'm sorry about that. I thought-"
He gasped, clutching at his head suddenly. Vanessa reached over to him, gripping onto his arm. "Lucky?!"
Fear.
Confusion.
Desperation.
Those emotions clouded his mind, so quickly, so strongly that it was all Lucky could keep from dropping to the floor. He closed his eyes, trying to catch an image in his mind. Any image.
All he could see was that same blankness. Yet...
It was different. Solid and hard and…
Scary.
Lucky felt the tears roll down his face and in that moment he knew.
Knew that he was needed at home.
He glanced up at Vanessa and, holding her hand, he pleaded. "I need your help. I need you to get me home."
Hospitals gave her nightmares. No one knew that, but they did. They reminded her of sickness. The feelings of helplessness and desperation that seemed to radiate from the patients in their rooms. The near hopelessness from the families that waited on word about their loved ones. Doctors and nurses who seemed so tired and jaded that nothing fazed them.
Alexis craned her neck back, rolling out the stiffness. She always got too tense in hospitals.
"Have some of this."
A cup was held in front of her face and she followed the hand up until she reached Zander's face. She smiled, taking it quickly. "Thank you."
Zander didn't say a word and took the empty seat next to hers. Alexis sipped at her tea and he at his coffee.She glanced over at Zander, who reached out and patted her hand. There was nothing they could do but wait.
So wait they did.
Stefan frowned, watching his sister from his corner. He'd always gotten the impression that hospitals made her uncomfortable. He surveyed the odd assortment of those waiting. Her friendship with these people always worried him, and he was now more afraid than ever.
He could have lost so much that night...
He stiffened, feeling the presence behind him before he even spoke.
"What the hell are you doing here, Stefan?"
He turned to meet Luke's angry stare. "I fund this hospital, Luke, in case you forget. I have an interest in the things that happen here. I was worried about Barbara Jean as well."
Luke closed in and spoke harshly through clenched teeth. "You stay the hell away from Barbara Jean. That goes for Carly as well."
Stefan seethed. "I have more of a right to be here than you do, Spencer. You know that." He caught Nikolas watching them from the other side of the room, and he made it a point to take a step back, lest he was tempted to choke the life out of Luke.
He needed to be here. To make sure everything would work out.
Hell would freeze over before he let Luke Spencer tell him what to do. He held the other man's eyes and silently reminded him of the secret they held. "Don't push me, Luke." Stefan turned on his heels, walking towards Bobbie.
Luke's eyes followed him as he went. "Wouldn't dream of it, Count Vlad."
Shari studied Nikolas as he watched his uncle and Luke from across the room, seeing the worried sketched on his face. "Hey."
Nik turned to her and smiled warmly. "Hey yourself."
"Everything okay?" She followed his gaze to Stefan and Bobbie.
"I don't know. I just have this feeling."
"What kind of feeling?"
He glanced over at Shari. "Like I'm missing a big piece of some puzzle." He looked back at his uncle and then at Luke. "That when I figure it out, a lot of things will make sense."
"Yeah. I know what you mean."
They stared at each other for a moment, having found something. A bond of sorts. Juan joined them, causing Nik to avert his gaze back to the others.
"I just wish I knew what was going on in there." Juan kissed Shari's temple and glanced at Nik, who was avoiding looking at him. He frowned slightly and made a mental note to ask his friend if he was okay. He pulled his face slightly back to look into Shari's eyes and he held her. "I'm just hoping that Sonny and Carly are doing better in there then we seem to be doing out here."
Shari nodded, her eyes falling to the swinging doors beyond the room. "You and me both, babe. You and me both."
"So he just left? No word?"
Gia ignored Marcus' tone and nodded slowly. Was it her imagination or did her brother almost sound proud of Lucky's actions? "I guess he did." She shook her head, flipping absently through the pages of her magazine. "He didn't bother to tell me. Just left me that with Nik." She motioned to the letter on the nightstand.
Taggert swiped the pages into his hand, glancing periodically at his sister as he read. He finished the letter, folding it neatly and placing it back on the stand. "So what did the doctor say to you this afternoon? Anything new to report?"
Gia stared at him, anger and pain washing over her. "That's it. You're not going to make a comment about the letter? Not going to tell me how I'm better off without him?"
Taggert shook his head. "No, because I don't think you are. Better off, that is."
Gia snatches the paper and shakes it violently at him. "Marcus, did you even read what he said?"
"Yes, baby, I did."
"He called me selfish and cowardly. Not to mention stubborn and dumb."
"That he did."
Shock radiated off her and she stared dumbly at him. "You think he's right, don't you?"
Taggert's silence was her answer and she held back tears.
"I needed to let him go, Marcus. It was for his own good."
Taggert's face softened and he took her hand, kissing it softly. "If that's what you needed to do, then fine. But make sure you did do it for him Gia. Not because you're scared of what he means to you." He pushed her hair back and held her gaze. "Cause if that's the real reason, you might come to regret your decision."
The room fell into silence as Gia took in her brother's words. Suddenly she glanced up and asked the question he'd been dreading. "Do you know what happened with Carly?"
Taggert shook his head. "It's not good news, baby."
Gia closed her eyes. "Tell me."
He scooted her gently over and sat next to her, cradling her softly as he told her of her friend's condition and what the doctors thought the possibilities of her recovery were. He held his sister as she cried first in relief and then in sadness. He murmured quiet reassurances as he glanced out the window at the fading light and wondered if the world would ever be right again...
You don't remember me, but I remember you.
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you.
But who can decide what they dream?
And dream I do
They stood frozen, staring at each other an eternity. The moment seemed to stretch before them and neither wanted to speak for fear of breaking the spell. His eyes drank in the sight of her, relief and love flooding his senses. Hers roamed his every feature trying desperately to remember, to place them in her mind.
I believe in you.
I'll give up everything just to find you.
I have to be with you to live, to breathe...
You're taking over me
It took every ounce of strength in Sonny not to run to her side and hold her close. She was alive and with him. He could look into her beautiful brown eyes and get lost in them. He could feel that coldness inside begin to melt. He could feel his heart again. He wanted to touch her, breathe in her scent and feel her warmth. Let it seep into and around him. He took a step closer, looking directly at her eyes, and he stopped.
The eyes that stared back at him were warm but distant. Hesitant and afraid. Unsure of him. He almost laughed at that moment, because he'd been sure that when she looked at him, looked into his face, it'd all come back to her. Their love, their anger, their life would come rushing back.
He knew better than to hope for miracles. Miracles were for other people.
He swallowed past the lump in his throat and smiled slightly.
"Carly."
Can you know what I know and all we have.
You saw me mourning my love for you and touched my hand.
I knew you loved me then
Carly started at the sound of his voice. She'd been entranced by his face, his movements. He was more beautiful than his picture if that was possible. And when he'd first looked at her, she saw a light in his eyes that was missing from the photograph. His face had softened and she could feel the love radiating from him in waves. Taking over her senses and overwhelming her completely.
It frightened her like nothing else had so far. This rush of emotions, of need she felt at seeing this man. Her husband.
Suddenly the light was extinguished and was replaced with that sadness she'd seen in the photo. An emptiness so deep and clear it made her ache. She wanted to ease his pain, to comfort him, but how could she? She didn't know this man any better than she knew herself.
When he said her name, she held back a gasp at hearing him speak. She noticed the dimples and smiled in spite of it all.
Someone that gorgeous didn't need the added charm of dimples. It was simply unfair.
I believe in you.
I'll give up everything just to find you.
I have to be with you to live, to breathe...
You're taking over me
"Sonny."
He smiled wider, but she realized it didn't reach his eyes. That he was pretending for her sake. For some reason that seemed wrong and false. She held her hand out and motioned to the chair at her bedside.
"You don't have to hide your disappointment."
He averted her gaze for a moment before taking the seat and meeting her eyes. "I know."
She nodded not sure what to say next. Her eyes fell to his hand and the gold ring caught her attention. She remembered something she'd been wondering about. Reaching over, she touched the band lightly. "What does MCC Forever mean?"
I look in the mirror and see your face, if I look deep enough.
So many things inside that just frighten you are taking over
Sonny eyes strayed to her hand and he reached for it, thrilled at the small contact. He laughed softly. "I pictured you asking me a hundred different questions when I walked in here. That wasn't one of them."
Carly giggled, relaxing as he brushed her hand with his fingers. She kept her gaze on his bent head and waited for the answer.
Sonny closed his eyes at the sweet sound of her laugh. "It's our initials. Michael and Caroline Corinthos Forever." He caressed her fingers softly. "I got the rings engraved after our wedding."
Carly flicked her gaze to the wall, hating the pain this was causing the man in front of her. She didn't know him, or at least she didn't remember knowing him, but she could see that this was killing him.
I believe in you.
I'll give up everything just to find you.
I have to be with you to live, to breathe...
You're taking over me
Sonny avoided her eyes, knowing that if he looked into the deep brown recesses he'd lose his facade. He needed time to steel himself against the emptiness, the stranger's eyes that would look back at him.
She was his Carly and she wasn't.
The woman in this bed was what remained of his wife after his choices had finished with her. He was grateful that Carly had this second chance at life. He was going to make sure she got to live it. No matter what he had to do. Guilt and regret ate away at him constantly, every moment he was awake and even some when he wasn't. He wasn't going to let Carly be another regret, another selfish decision he made.
It didn't matter if Carly remembered him. If he were honest, he'd admit that he had no hopes that his wife would ever return. Like he said, miracles and such just didn't happen to people like him. But Sonny was determined to help her rebuild her life. To make sure she started again. Even if it was without him.
He knew he'd love her forever.
That would be enough for him. It had to be.
He glanced up finally and met her unfamiliar eyes. "What do you need me to do?"
I believe in you.
I'll give up everything just to find you.
I have to be with you to live, to breathe...
You're taking over me
Carly studied his face for a moment. Something was off. She wasn't sure how she knew that but she did. Her eyes narrowed slightly and she patted his hand gently. "Sonny, are you okay?"
He nodded, rising from his seat. "I'm fine." He caught her disbelieving look and conceded. "As fine as I could be under the circumstances." He smiled at her and nodded reassuredly. "Is there something you need me to get you? Anything I can do?"
He was covering, she realized suddenly. He was hiding from her and that thought made her afraid. She didn't want him to do that. He was the only thing so far that made any sense to her. She didn't remember him or their life, but she felt right with him. From the moment he'd walked in, she'd felt...
Complete.
But instinct told her she shouldn't push. She had to figure out what was wrong and then plan her move from there. So she smiled back up at him and answered his question. "You can bust me out of here."
Sonny stared at her, startled. "What?"
Carly held his gaze and nodded to assure him he'd heard correctly.
"I want to go home, Sonny. With you."
(taking over me)
You're taking over me
(taking over me)
Taking over me
Lyrics: Taking Over Me by Evanescence